Chuck Norris Facts!

[Drawwod]

Everyone knows what one talking about! And no doubt we all know some pretty funny Chuck Norris Facts lets see how many we can gather between us :D I'll start with a personal favourite of mine

 

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

[Basel Gill]

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

[Drawwod]

Haha I like that one Bas!

[Crimson_Ayla]

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life.

[lolguy26]

Chuck norris doesnt swim , water is around him

[wheeloftime13]

Some magicians can walk on water. Churck Norris can swim on land.

[Cbinpdx]

LOLz this reminds me of the Dos Equis commercials I hear on the radio. You know, "The Most Interesting Man in the World"?

 

@Drawwod, nice avi!

 

[Basel Gill]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

 

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's.

 

Chuck Norris once sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his good looks and martial arts ability. He then roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil appreciates a good irony and couldn't stay angry. They now play cards twice a month.

[wheeloftime13]

bahahaha...

 

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

[TheMasterDude]

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard, he has another fist.

[Drawwod]

Chuck Norris is the reason Wally is hiding

[TheMasterDude]

you mean waldo?

 

Ghosts sit around campfires and tell Chuck Norris stories.

 

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

[Drawwod]

Waldo? Is that the American version of where's Wally?

 

Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard, he has another fist!

[Cbinpdx]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

[TheMasterDude]

Yea waldo is american version, and I already said the beard joke lol.

 

Chuck Norris can make fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

[Drawwod]

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter with his finger by yelling "bang!"

[TheMasterDude]

Chuck Norris has a live bear as a rug, it doesn't attack because it's too scared to move.

[Cbinpdx]

[Ironeyes]

[Ironeyes]

The only thing that can block a light saber blade besides another light saber is Chuck Norris. And he'll usually steal it from the Jedi to boot.

[Ironeyes]

[lolguy26]

[Verbal32]

I'm jumping in to add ones for Jack Bauer. On another site, I had a fun argument with another poster about Chuck Norris vs. Jack Bauer. So I'll happily trade Norrisism and Bauerisms, lol.

 

Jack Bauer once arm-wrestled Superman. The stipulations were the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his pants.

[Smiley73]

Chuck Norris never loses weight. He knows exactly where it is

[Smiley73]

Fear of spiders is arachnophobia, fear of tight spaces is claustrophobic, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic