English

[goldeneys]

If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius!

Pursue at your leisure, English lovers. Reasons why the English language is so hard to learn:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the Polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France (surprise!).

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose two geese, so one moose, two meese? Doesn't it seem crazy, that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

 

 

P.S. Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?

[Liitha]

lol great one

[Sirayn]

Ever since someone pointed it out to me, I've been amused that rough, sough, dough, cough and bough all have -ough endings but are pronounced in five different ways. ;)

[Guest Winespring Brother]

there's actually 7 pronunciations for -ough. See if you can get the other 2

[Sirayn]

That one's got me stumped. Through and ... borough?

[goldeneys]

one would have to be through

[djp59]

there's actually 7 pronunciations for -ough. See if you can get the other 2

 

Are we talking about English (by which I mean British English) or American?

[Taymist]

Well if its UK English then it would have to be through and thorough.

[Demandred Valerius]

yea sure english is hard to learn, australian is harder... no resemblance to english whatsoever :P

[B!ue States Droo!]

Well, Englis is my second language. I learned it in school. The funny thing is that Spanish is my first, however, I think in English before anything. I think it's the hardeest language to learn. In Spanish the letters sound the same everytime, I believe that English is the only language where "ph" sounds like a F, and "mb" is silent.

[Asgard Thorin]

If you've learned to speak fluent English' date=' you must be a genius! [/quote']

 

 

Especially if you're an American. :D

[JaemDovara]

haha @ asgard

 

'speshully us Texans rite?

 

(Just for clarification, that was sarcasm)

[Alys Kinch]

jaem, you know every english teacher we had made it a point to tell us how badly we butchered the language. :lol: