Two Shots Please

[John E. Kelley]

As most of you who know me are aware, I rarely drink. Like, very rarely. I just don't like it very much. I've always considered it to be a waste of time and money, not to mention that it tastes like regurgitated mule piss. And my heritage is another factor, I'm Irish and we're not known for being the most prone to drinking excessively.

That all being said, I have finally found a liquor I do like. I've tried all sorts, usually as a result of a dare, and discovered that I loathe Irish whiskey. Jameson tastes like feet and Bushmills like a dogs ass. But American whiskey? Damn, that stuff is good. Jack Daniels and Jim Beam, Evan Williams and Wild Turkey? Better than sex. Seriously. I could bathe in the stuff, it's that good. I wouldn't wash my dirty socks with Irish whiskey, but I'm certain that Jack is what they serve in Heaven.

And the people that you meet that also drink Jack and Jim, they're intellectual giants. The knowledge they possess of tree stands, Hemi motors and Nascar is astounding. They can expound for hours about freeloadin immigrants, dirty hippies and Garth Brooks, it's like a freakin Menza seminar. When they discuss such topics as how "the South'll rise agin" it's like watching Nostradamus in a prophetic trance.

Truly, a wonderous change is upon me. American whiskey is going to change my life. When I drink it, I can feel the urge to attend bike rallys, Kid Rock concerts and Civil War reenactments surge into my blood. Amazing stuff. And far, far better than that paint thinner crap like Jameson. Bushmills is even worse, I think people use it to clean their guns or strip down the engines of tanks. There should be a warning label attached to the Irish stuff, "May Cause Severe Derp." While the American stuff should say "May Cause Severe Sexy." Lord knows it's had that effect on me.

[LilyElizabeth]

You've convinced me. I simply must go buy a bottle of Jack and toss out the Jameson. 

[Moon Sedai]

*slow clap*
That was beautiful, Ishy. 

 

There you go *hands mindtraps to Lily and Ishy* You're cour'sourva bonded now. 

[Leelou]

*stabs them both* Congrats on your bond! 

[LilyElizabeth]

Thanks, Moon! *stabs her new bonded*

[LilyElizabeth]

Thanks for the congrats, Leelou *stabs*

[Verbal32]

Wait....that wasn't serious?

[Nynaeve]

Jameson ftw \m/

 

 

 

Nyn

[Neeto]

Jim bean is good. captain morgan will always be my favorite... though I rarely rarely drink anymore