''aww! d*mn!''-stories about yourself and others! fun! post!

[Guest Cadsuane]

Yeah, that's pretty much what I assumed, but you never know! :lol:

[Spacey]

Oh, I am pretty sure I can say I know...Daddy's are pretty whacko about those things.

 

*looks again at Cads*

 

You are cute, you know that?

 

*smiles*

[Corki]

You asked for it, so you are going to get it! Here is my goldfish story!

 

 

When I was younger (about 8 or 9), I used to keep goldfish and show them in competitions across the UK. Well, at the end of September there was the main National UK Show. If you know about Crufts for Dogs, this show was the "Crufts" for goldfish! ;)

 

Anyway, I kept some of my goldfish outside in homemade "ponds", made from wood with pond liner in them, and others in tanks indoors. The best water to keep fish in is slightly green, and being outside, the water had a nice green tinge to it. The night before the show I prepared my white buckets (with black bin bags in them to stop the fish from losing their colour) so all I needed to do was add the water and the fish in the morning.

 

Morning comes. I put the green water in one of the buckets, and mixed it with water from the tanks indoors. Then I added a fish to the bucket. My dad did not know there was a fish in the bucket as the water was quite dark. My dad said that I shouldn't have put the green water in, and proceded to the toilet. Just as I was about to protest and say that there was a fish in there, it was far too late. My dad had flushed the toilet.

 

I screamed that there was a fish in there! I was terrified my fish would end up in the sewers and become some huge monster down there! There was a mad panic, and my mum, overhearing the situation grabbed a culander(sp) and a towel and dashed outside to our backyard. She lifted the man-hole cover and put the culander in, underneath the water pipe from which the water from the water came. My dad and I came running down to see the results. The water came gushing down, getting my mum wet. We looked in the culander, and there was NO fish! No fish! I was horrified! Where had my little fish got to??

 

My dad ran back upstairs and went to have a look at the toilet. And lo and behold, there was the fish! Swimming in the toilet! It had somehow managed to get stuck in the U-bend in the toilet, and then float back into the ball! How it managed that, I do not know!

 

After this little adventure. we put clean water in the bucket and added the fish, and went off to the show. I can't quite remember whether the fish won a prize (I think it did, but I am not 100% sure), but it was sure one fishy tale! ;)

[Guest Cadsuane]

Yup, Spacey, I do! *grins cheekily*

 

Corki - do you still have goldfish? I need one to put on my table for Persian New Year, and I've been too lazy to get to the pet store! I promise I'll mail it right back next weekend! lol

[Lanthirrhos]

LMAO!

[Corki]

*laughs*

 

Unfortunately, no, I don't keep goldfish anymore. Schoolwork and real life kicked in big time, which meant my fish didn't get the full attention they deserved. However, when I am older, i do plan to take up keeping them again.

[Lanthirrhos]

Ahhh goldfish! the best pett a boy (or man :) ) could have! They're even flush down the toliet proof while alive! What pet could beat that?!

[Helike]

OK, I got one. It's not very good but that's just too bad!!!

 

As a teen, I lived in a very small neighborhood. It was two whole blocks big but there were quite a few kids of my age that lived there. For years we would all agree on a time, sneak out of our houses, go to the neighborhood hang out(their mom was a crackhead- very sad), drink(beer, liquor whatever) and then do stupid stuff like play hide and seek with our 2 blocks as the boundaries.

One evening when I was about 15, I had jumped out of my window (which was kinda high and i usually needed help getting back in!) at about 12:30, went to the hang out spot, got ridiculously drunk along with everybody else and did the worst thing in the world...

I passed out... at the neighbor's house... knowing I had to get up for school at 6 am. Now for some reason I woke up, in (what I believed to be) plenty of time. It was about 5:30 and getting light outside. I stagger/raced/pretendasneaked through the path between our houses and when I reached my yard... Lo And Behold... the kitchen light was on and there was my mom, sitting at the table with a friend. (I should probably clue you that my mom is an alcoholic which is a BIG reason why I was able to get away with this stuff on a regular basis) I completely freaked! There was no way I could get in with out being heard and caught while they sat there.

And the longer they sat there, the closer the time was coming for my alarm to go off which would also cause me to be caught as I couldn't get in to shut it off!! As I sit there in a total panic, still drunk, and unable to find any solution to my dilemma, something happened that only happens in an alcoholic home... My mom and her friend got up from the table... got in the car... and left...

to go buy beer!!! At 5:45 AM!!! So now you tell me, after all that, did I get caught?

[Lanthirrhos]

lol! nice... :D

[MsDanya]

lol! nice one helike!

[Helike]

Just a little taste of my youth for you!

[Lanthirrhos]

Short and simple:

 

My dad once woke me up (i was 5 at the time) and told me tha i didn't brush my teeth (well i had but i was too tired to know the differance). and so anyways little beknownst to me he had put shaving cream on my tooth brush (looked just like tooth paste) and had me brush my teeth with it! and then he told me what he had done...

 

The next day, while he was in the shower, i took his slippers and filled the toes with shaving cream... so when he got out of the shower and put his feet in...

 

WTF?????!!?

[Corki]

hehe!!!

 

Nice one! ;)

[Guest Footman]

Ok, one more, and it is by far the most embarrassing thing ever for me.

 

 

Before I joined the Army while living with my folks, I had come home from work and it was 11:00 pm. My father was on a hunting trip out of town, mother worked night shift and brother and sister were moved out of the house. I was alone, and filthy from work. I stopped of at the laundry room and chucked all my clothes in the hamper. I walk through the living room to get to the shower in the bathroom, 15 feet away with heavy curtains over the windows in an empty house. I was nude. Halfway to the bathroom, my sister comes downstairs with her best friend and their two boyfriends. I'm in my birthday suit in the middle of the living room and they all stop in shock. I handled it pretty cool for being mortified. I said, "Didn't see a car in the driveway. I'm going to get a shower now." Then I ran for the privacy of the bathroom. My sister's friends bust out laughing. Not exactly sure who was more embarrassed me or my sis.

[Helike]

Embarrassed or traumatized? The last time I saw my brother naked it was because his mother & sister-in-law were fighting in his living room and woke him up. He came downstairs like a bat outta h@ll and decided that they needed to move out("right NOW!!") and proceeded to help them by throwing their stuff in the yard(like mummy-in-laws washer half way through a wash cycle).... :shock:

 

Traumatized...

[Ramza]

well when i was still in high school one of my teachres was a drunk.. so one day i went out to a bar... yes i drank, yes it was illegal, no i don't care that it was,,,,, sooo any ways i go to hit on this chick. and lo an behold it was the my ap biology teacher (whos was like 27 or so) i was stupified that we began dancing and stuff, it was sooo weird

[goldeneys]

that is weird

[Vorkia]

Ramza, how long ago did this happen?

[goldeneys]

yeah

[mrs cantfail]

AH! underage drinking, goldfish and Caddy's story at last! i haven't laughed this much since last Thursday! I just gotta say that my BELOVED nephew just poured all the fish-food into the fish-bowl. Thankfully my fish (Jesus; Siamese Fighting Fish) survived. I think. We'll see.

Let's see if i've got a story for thee, good people..

 

Once, when i was in fifth-grade i think, me and a friend of mine were sneaking around in school when we weren't supposed to. It was winter and stuff, and our shoes were wet. Anyway, we were tip-toe'ing around when suddenly we heard someone coming. We proceeded (oh, yes) to run away, but since my shoes were wet i slipped and fell straight on my bummelum :o ! OW! I had the worlds biggest adrenaline-kick, and i didn't know whether to laugh or cry; well, i started laughing like mad, and my friend like, looks at me, wondering if i was alright. She figures i am, since i'm laughing so hard and all, and she starts to laugh, too. And that's about when i started to cry.. And she keeps laughing, and i'm just crying, and crying... when she finally sees that i'm not laughing, she couldn't stop, and she tries to comfort me,

 

''Oh! (haha) Are you (giggle) alright (snort)!?''

 

I was hurting, man! and she laughed 'til she pissed her pants.

 

We weren't busted, though..

 

the question is: What were we doing there?

I can't remember.

 

Mrs. Canty!

corp. archer (hihi)

Danya's sister!

[Helike]

ROFLMAO!! It's always funny when someone falls...

 

A funny story told to me by a couple male friends:

One day while visiting the nudie bar, two friends of mine happened to observe a very LARGE woman with ill fitting shoes attempt to jump up on and swing around one of those nifty poles they have in places like that. Apparently her attempt was VERY unsuccessful. I found it hard to get the rest of the story around their laughter but this is it...

 

"She jumped up there trying to be cool and the next thing I knew, I heard a horrific screeching sound, like nails on a chalk board or a train wreck and then what sounded like a sonic boom. When I turned around to see what it was, I saw the stripper on the floor, arms and legs wrapped tight around that pole and I SWEAR there was smoke curling up the thing...."

 

His words, not mine!

[mrs cantfail]

:oops: not if you're the one falling...

 

but now i can tell the story to you guys :lol:

 

HAHAHA! she deserved it! i'm sure! hohoho!

it's also funny when big, naked strippers fall when they're trying to be cool

 

haha! i actually made a ''behind'' (damn the damned word-filter!) of myself on the bus once.. it was winter, and i was gonna exit the school bus!

oh, yes.

and i actually managed to slide on some ice on the steps on my way out, and i fell on my butt and slided out landing in a pit of dirt, water and snow..

everyone saw it but NO ONE LAUGHED! i'm tellin' ya, that's the worst thing, EVER! they were just watching me while in sat in the puddle of filth and dookie, and i desperatly tried to laugh it off. NO ONE LAUGHED.

 

*shudders*

 

Mrs. Canty

corp. archer :)

Danya's sister

[Spacey]

This post is to pull this thread back into sight so people will know it is here. (who needs mod powers!)

[Spacey]

I would really like to hear some more stories. :)

 

*drinks from ES*

[Guest Cadsuane]

*pokes Spacey*

 

So why don't YOU tell one? :roll: 8)