The Great Hunt

[Maria]

I'm re-reading the series, and as a end-of-book deal I posted my own version of the ending of tGH on my LJ. Someone told me to post it here, as well, so here comes the Mia version of the Battle at Falme. And I admit I skipped the whole omgz Egwene is a damane and she is very angry part, because honestly that's rather boring :P

 

Rand: I won't channel, I won't I won't!

Verin: *makes shrewd comment about him being the Dragon Reborn

Rand: I'm not a false Dragon! I'm not I'm not!

Mat: *is pale yet strong*

Perrin: *has yellow eyes*

Ingtar: I must get the Horn!

Hurin: *bows*

Loial: *is wise*

Fain: *is evil*

Verin: We need to get to Toman Head and we will go by this Portal Stone which I can't use because I will die.

Rand: That works for me.

Verin: RAND can do it.

Rand: I won't channel, I... oooh... sweet!

Everyone: Wtf?

Rand: *channels*

Everyone: *ohnoes I see my life as it could have been*

Four months: *has passed*

No one: *cares*

 

Later:

Fain: *is still evil*

Rand: We must ride to Falme because I got a crazy message from a Darkfriend.

Ingtar: I will follow the Horn to Shayol Ghul. This isn't Shayol Ghul, though, so I won't go here!

 

Later still:

Rand: *fights many people*

Seanchan: We're gonna get you!

Whitecloaks: Walk in the Light, Darkfriends!

Ingtar: I'm Ingtar and I'm a Darkfriend!

Rand: Admitting you have a problem is the first step to healing.

Mat: *blows the Horn*

Artur Hawkwing's Army: *appears*

Dragon Banner: *blows*

Ba'alzamon: *has firey eyes*

Rand: I kill you dead, Ba'alzamon!

Ba'alzamon: *diez ded*

Everyone: Wtf?

 

After the battle:

Rand: *wakes*

Min: Yay, you're alive!

Moiraine: Nice job, Dragon.

Rand: I'm not the Dragon Reborn!

Everyone: But the banner...!

Min: I love you, Rand!

Perrin: *still has yellow eyes*

Loial: *is still wise*

Lan: *is there*

Everyone else: *is not*

Shienarans: We swear to follow you, Lord Dragon!

Rand: But I'm not.. oh fine, who am I kidding?

Fain: *is even more evil than we thought*

The book: *is over*

 

Thank you for your time =)

[Guest Fnorrll]

Well. Yes. Ahem. Interesting. :)

 

Seriously tho that was one of the most confusing parts of the series I reckon, so well done for taking the p out of it so mercilessly.

 

I've always said that TGH was the worst of all the books.

[MsDanya]

hehehehehe

 

I'm actually reading TGH now.. looking forward to the battle now! :P

[Maria]

What do you mean it's the worst of the books? It's so great. I mean, every plot is repeated at least twice, Rand has the total of three thoughts (and by three I mean "Egwene, Egwene, Egwene"), and the ending! The ending is so... creative. Ba'alzamon in the sky! The very scary duel. A thousand different sword forms with very obscure names. Not to mention the fact that no one seems to know what they're doing, or that the only people remotely interesting is Artur Hawkwing's army. Really. I don't know what you're talking about. :P

[Guest Fnorrll]

Whatever was i thinking *sniggers*

[MsDanya]

I'm actually enjoyingthe book now.. It was my least fav book. but I actually like it now. lol.. weird..

[Besolyn]

*claps ecstatically*

Good show!!

 

Can we consider this the “Cliff’s Notes†version?

[Alarwyn Liande]

*rofl* That is so accurate. :D

 

I actually read this on your LJ and it too me some time to collect all the missing body parts after I had burst out laughing... :lol:

[Maria]

Thanks guys. This works wonders for my ego ;)

[Vanion]

*Puts on his Asha'man coat and runs across the room*

 

Muwahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

 

 

*channels randomly and blows stuff up satisfying his deep seeded need for destruction. Why you ask? Because insanity does that kinda thing! :twisted: *

[Maria]

Yeah, you know what? Not a big fan of the spam. I guess what I'm trying to say is.. don't do it. Thanks.

[JenniferL]

I love you, Mia. =)

[StaffMaster]

OOOH! that was awesome!

 

I can't wait for tDR. you gonna do that one too?

[Vanion]

*pokes Staffy in the eye*

[Niamh Sedai]

Ummm... Maria asked you to stop spamming Vanion. So could you please listen to her??

 

Haha! Mia dearest it seems like you're going to be trapped into writing a WoT parody ;)

[BenTGaidin]

Niamh Sedai said:

Haha! Mia dearest it seems like you're going to be trapped into writing a WoT parody ;)

 

Ooo, please do! I want to read it!

[Maria]

Seriously, my ego is all over the place now. *lol*

 

And we'll see.. I'm not gonna be reading tDR just yet cause my friend is borrowing my copy. Maybe I will some day, though. My levels of silliness can reach never-before-seen heights. Just ask Nia. :P

 

And I love you, too, Mother dearest!