*Venting*

[alannalynn]

*ignore if you don't want to hear a long Alanna venting-session*

 

Okay, so what's the big dang deal? I'm TRYING, shouldn't that count for something? Shouldn't you appreciate me for what I'm doing not put it down and wish for more? Why must you always compare me to others? Am I the type of person you always expect to be a disappointment? I'm graduating, be happy, I'm a great student with a high rank, be happy, I'm in choir and theatre, doing stuff I love, be happy, I've finally got a job lined up, be happy. Please, don't compare me to others' failures because I swear to you I won't make those mistakes. I know you think I'm stupid, but that's not the case. I try so hard but I just can't make you happy. And so what if I'm a social recluse, so what if I begin to get close to somebody and push them away, so what if I didn't and won't tell you that ____ kissed me and wanted more and that's why I'm not going to prom with him. Just because you went ahead and did it at age 13, 14, doesn't mean that I need to ruin myself. Please, just let me be. I'm trying to make you happy but it's never enough. I have to keep MYSELF happy too, and that's becoming harder and harder everyday. I have stresses, I work myself to death everyday, I barely sleep, so don't you DARE say that I'm lazy or incompetent or whatever stupid word-of-the-day you want to use. Just... let me relax. That's all I want when I come home. I don't want to fight, I don't want to argue, I don't want to anything. Peace. Quiet. Please.

[Reyn]

*Hugs*

 

I know exactly how you are feeling, dear. Maybehaps things will turn out better for you and the person/people you are directing this at - a couple of years back I had a huge blow out with my Mom because everything that came out of her mouth was criticizing me. I finally told her that she was treating me like crap and that I wasn't going to take it (I had moved out a year before that so I could simply ignore her) and after a couple of months things got a lot better- she must've put a lot of thought into what I said because finally she started just TALKING to me, and stopped trying so hard to change me and my decisions.

 

My advice is to try talking about it to those that are treating you this way. Make them understand how hurtful they have been. I hope you get through to them.

 

I know things are grim now, and you probably feel so misunderstood and over-blamed, as I still do on occasion, but I do wish you the best of luck and that one day things will get better.  And of course- the hope that for now you can find friends here that DO understand you.

[Kathleen]

*Huggles the Alanna and isn't even gonna bring up that her post wasn't green* <- humor that, except for the Huggles, I really do mean that part. It sucks that just when life is most stressful more stuff gets added on. We are here for you! I can't say anything better than Reyn did, so just know that there are people who have been there and we know what it's like! Let it out.

[alannalynn]

Thanks... but there's no talking to my parents. They believe that I'm still the child and have no say, no opinion, so things just keep going on. The main reason I'm in the musical and do so much out-of-school stuff is to get away from them. I told them that once, that I was in the musical earlier this year so I didn't have to see them... lol. Blah people. *still not green because I have to erase my history and pushing extra buttons means deleting more history*

[Kathleen]

I had a terrible time with my folks the whole high school years. I used to look for excuses to  get out of the house and even when I wasn't home they came up with reasons to fight with me about it. Just remember, you won't live with them forever and while it may feel like forever getting to the point when you move, you'll have more time out of their house. Once your out you can decide if and when you talk to them!

[alannalynn]

:/ I have four more years of college with them, but at least I'll be working and won't have to ask them for so much money. That's a main issue, how much money they have to spend on me. Telling my mom she shouldn't have had me just doesn't work. She always tells me that I should have a job, then goes on about how successful with school/work all the other kids in the world are. Gr gr gr!

[Little Miss]

*hugs her Mintee* I am sorry life is hard right now... I am in a lot or have been in those situations, and it isn't easy, or fun. And there isn't much I can say to take those feelings away.

 

Except this..

 

 

Gao! <3

 

My PM box is ALWAYS open to you Alanna.

 

- Love, Limi

[Summer]

*hugs Twin #1*

 

I feel for you, I really do.  I've personally gone through the feeling of parents never seeming to think you're doing good enough, or whatever they want to criticize you on X day.  And having spent an unhealthy amount of time in therapy, I understand what it's like to feel frustrated with everyone.  If you ever want to talk, EVER, I'm always here for you <3

 

*hugs again for good measure*

[alannalynn]

Thanks. :) I've always liked having a place to vent my feelings, whether it be a journal, forum, friend, etc. My friend's at work and my journal is lost. Gao. *huggles all back*

 

(Will continue green tomorrow)

[charis sedai]

*huggles the precious other Jr.*

Love, I've been there too, and it sucks. Plain and simple. But this chapter is almost over, and college... even from home, college is a completely new experience. I felt like I was totally prepared for it, and it threw me curve after curve. Plenty of them were good curves, though. I love college, and part of it is is that at least the professors treat you like an adult here. And there is always the option of night classes!

 

Hold on tight, honey. Things will get less stressful after graduation. I have faith.

My Pm box is open, if my sister and your twin don't have all the answers.

[Tharengore]

*scratchs head*

 

Well hearing one side of the agrument I wont judge either way. Sorry to hear your having it rough Alanna, but seeing as your parents are letting you stay home even though college tells me they care deeply about you and want to succed in life.

 

*takes deep breath*...Now to play Devils Advocate persay...mind you I dont know all is going on but it seems all is not completly bad. I would say to you too understand that your parents are trying to help you out, and make sure you dont make their mistakes. But they are human as well and even with good intentions it might come off wrong. But most importently relax enjoy the time you have living at home, going to school, etc....cant think of how many times I wished for those days again...just remember these years are very few, then you have the rest of your life.

[LilyElizabeth]

It's clear that they don't understand you and what you value. Not all parents can see their child as an individual with their own values. I still struggle with this with my mom to this day. She tries very hard to treat me as an adult (I have adult children, so clearly I am an adult....lol) but she just can't understand why I do things my way instead of her way. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I do understand some of what you're feeling. I was the enigma to my parents. Luckily, I have/had great parents who tried hard to let me have my own feelings and values.