Daes Daemar- The White Tower and Warder's Yard Newsletter- April Edition

[charis sedai]

 

April 2010 Edition

 

 

Hello! Boopsy here from the land of hot chicks and naked hunks this month’s issue of the Newsletter. How are you? Are you happy? Are you excited? Are you wet? Are you crazed about lack of sleep? Are you overwhelmed by random DMers humping your leg?

 

WELL SO AM I! Lacking sleep, that is. But, also, worry no more about the random DMers, because this issue of the Daes Dae’mar newsletter will address the various nefarious activities going on behind the scenes at DM. If you’ve spotted random Aes Sedai walking around with feathered handcuffs and perfumed whips, you know that you’re not alone in wanting to know what they’re up to. Also, we’ve got Jhae. A totally different planet of fish, that one is.

 

*nods* So, in light of the fact that we’ve a big elephant in the White Tower *points to the PG-13 sign* and in light that we know we’re not going to miss it when Lily decides to finally use it in one of her “role-plays” and thus causing it to be destroyed FOREVER; we are presenting to you, the smuttiest, most indecent, Almost (But-not-quite) Non-PG13 issue of the WHITE TOWER NEWSLETTER, Daes Dae’mar!

 

Sit back, relax, lube up, and enjoy the ride. (Not, THAT ride, silly. We can do that later. You and I. Behind the fountain. *grunt*grunt* EH? EHH??)

 

Boopsy

Editor

 

[charis sedai]

 

 

Hello, and welcome to the Gossip Corner- your place for clandestine meetings, secret rendevous, I mean the latest news and, well, gossip, from the White Tower!

 

This was a busy month for us, so hold on tight!!

 

To kick things off, the Gossip Corner is having a contest! The following people have been nominated as the least PG-13 members of the White Tower Social Group:

Jhaenara

Boopsy, aka Wayward_Fool

Lor, aka U4ea

LilyElizabeth

Elgee

Vanion

Verbal32

Kathana

 

So, heres how this works.  Step number one, pick the person you think is most deserving of this prestigious award. Step number two, PM me, charis sedai, and tell me who you want to vote for! Step number three, Check in next month to see who takes home the award!! Pretty simple, so make sure to vote by May 20th!!

 

(Votes will only be seen by me and a few Admins that may have access to my Pms. One vote per person, please.)

 

Next up on the list of fun! The Red Ajah Rosebud Awards! New this year, the Red Ajah hosted this award ceremony, and it was open to the whole tower. Unfortunately, the intern who was covering the event had a rather nasty reaction to snuggle bites, poor girl. But to read the thread with the winners, simply visit this thread:http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,56811.0.html

 

Also, the Yellow Ajah has a new event up and running: The Miracle of Life. Now, knowing our Yellows, it is sure to be a sacred, beautiful event, with no silliness, whatsoever. I mean, wait a second. Nope, wrong group. The Yellows promise a good time if you stop by! Event is happening NOW, so dont miss it!!

 

Also, our dear Gray(t) Ajah head took an indefinite LoA this month. *sniff* We'll miss you, Cairos!!

 

Finally, we bring you the list of bondings new and old.

New bonds this month:

Little Miss and Adella-Souvra

Charis sedai and Adella-Souvra

Charis sedai and Rasheta Ardashir-Souvra

Cairos and Wayward_Fool -Souvras of the Brother Persuasion

Wayward_Fool and Wolfie- Souvra

 

 

Little Miss and Al Jenn Mael-Warder

Vanion and Nynaeve-Warder

 

Congratulations to all of you! May your bonds be long and prosperous!

 

Finally, heres Marta bringing us this months bonding Anniversaries!

 

Everyone, please say Congrats to all the anniversaries of this month. There arent many, but they are all very special. And all of them celebrate 4 years anniversaries this very month!!!

 

Warder

12th of May 2006  twinflower and Steel Axe  clik here to see it :D

28th of May 2006 Lady Blake and true source clik here to see it :D

31st of May 2006 Poledra and Stephen Windell  clik here to see it :D

 

Souvra

12th of May 2006 sheliara and twinflower clik here to see it :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Did I miss your bonding? Or did your anniversary not get listed? Were sorry! Send me, charis sedai, a PM and let me know, and I will correct the problem! Thanks for tuning into Gossip Corner! See you in May!

[charis sedai]

 

 

Who's new? Whos been raised? WHY ARE THERE NOVICES EVERYWHERE?! Youre curious about Aspies, and weve got the answers over at the Whispering Hole!

 

Hello, denizens of the White Tower and honored lurkers! Welcome to the April edition of the Whispering Hole! This was a very busy month for the White Tower Aspirants, so settle in, buckle up and please keep your hands inside the thread at all times!

 

 

First up, we have several new novices this month! Please give a warm, warm welcome to Kati, Thealynn Rosewolf, Summer, Bela_theDO, Pikapi, Jessibelle and rojano!

 

Also, there  are four new Algai this month! Please welcome som1else, Okami, Aemon Kristen and Angry mr dale!

 

On the Raising side of the Tower, there are 2 new accepteds, both of which  I am thrilled and proud to welcome both to accepted hood and the Green Ajah, my own home: Congratulations Onis Oleia and Adella!

 

Next up, Marta Sedai has been accepted by the Red Ajah. Congratulations all around!!

 

Lastly in the Great Hall this month, Little Miss and myself were both raised to Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah. Congratulations, Souvra mine!!

 

In other news, a new WT&DM World class was held this month. Please watch out for Ed and Adella taking the novices on Field Trips!

 

That's it for us here at the Whispering Hole! Join us again in May to figure out what those crazy kids are up to now!

 

[charis sedai]

by Torrie Sedai

 

The Warders, for some reason, like to hide their smut well. Many of them are closed mouthed about what goes on behind closed doors. Some things will leak, though. But we have to watch out, too much and everything may blow up in our face.

 

The Warders, for some reason, like to hide their smut well. Many of them are closed mouthed about what goes on behind closed doors. Some things will leak, though. But we have to watch out, too much and everything may blow up in our face.

 

The lock down on new blood has been put into effect this month. No more interviewing Warders-to-be. Aes Sedai and Accepteds needing Warders will have to get them the old fashioned way: Drag them in a closet and have some get-to-know-you time. They should be used to this by now.

 

Verb and Bob are still going strong. Ok maybe not going, but the two of them are doing something. Where did those little monsters go?  I swear one of them has Burs nose. Verb, you may want to check out the paternity test.

 

For some reason there are also Llamas spitting. What they are spitting, I did not ask, but Millon was involved. Mill and Llamas interesting. Anyone have a video?

 

Thoren has a batch of boob-berries, which have ripened and are now being used as bombs. If one hits you in the face you have to be sure and make the motor-boat sound, or you will be dyed blue for the rest of your life.

 

I am sure there is more out there, but, as I said, I prefer not to have anything blow up in my face.

[charis sedai]

by Boopsy, Charis "Jr.", and Little Miss

 

 

It was a lovely sunny day in the Halls of the White Tower. People were out and about, laughter and bird song could be heard through out as well as some, well.. some other "happy" noises could be heard while passing certain ajah's corridors.

 

The Naughty Kitten of the White Tower was out and prowling when she spotted her victim interviewy; it was a small, adorable fuzzy little Ewok who was just leaving the Blue Quarters with a slight limp.

 

Pouncing on the little creature, Limi drags Verb off to the "special" Newsroom for an interview. ;D

 

 

__________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Alrighty Mr. Verb, I just have a few questions to ask you. Thank you so much for letting me kidnap you taking time to answer them. *smiles innocently*

 

 

"Let's being with a burning question on every one's mind, how did you and Bob meet?"

 

Sitting in his overly large chair and swinging his stubby little legs over the edge, he answers, "Well, I was taking a long walk by the moat, and had this feeling I was being watched.  I had the impression that somebody, or something, was undressing me with their eyes.  Then I noticed, "Wow, I'm not wearing any clothes."  I could have sworn I brought them, which can only mean this unidentified being literally undressed me.  At that point, I was wondering what else they could do, when Bob came out of the moat and grabbed me - I thought I was done for.  Then he explained (Yes, he can talk.  Can't all moat monsters?) that it was him who had undressed me.  Well, the rest is sorta self-explanatory.  My only gripe is that he never bought me dinner, first."  *sighs*

 

I lean forward and pat Verb on the arm gently, "You Poor, poor thing. So, when does the restraining order expire?"  

 

 

He grabs a small sandwich for a plate near his arm rest and says in a sad voice, "I can approach any novice in about 412 more years, but who's counting?"

 

I blink in surprise a couple times, since that wasn't the restraining order I was asking about.

 

"Alright, moving right along, how do you feel about bunnies and their poor..er.. reputation?"

The Ewok become agitated and makes a funny little noise and says, "Bunnies are evil!!  Vemynal and Dae are bunnies, and also Naeann's warders.  I have blamed Vemy for random things on a few occasions, so I feel I must stick to my guns here."

 

I start to shake my head and explain to him, when he realizes, "Oh...you mean those bunnies.  Giggity."

Gagging a little at the waggled furry little eye brows that accompanied that, I ask a vital question that many of the Tower's inhabitants worry about, "Soooo.. Do Ewoks get "spring fever" ?"

 

*stops humping Limi's leg*  He stares at me and says, "Um, what?  Fever?  Nah, I've had all my shots."

 

Shuddering, I grab a tissue for my leg and choose a different topic once again, "Now, why Angelina Jolie? Hhmmmmm?  

 

I giggle as he tries to jump back into he chair three times before settling himself in and scoffing at me.

 

"Because she's the most beautiful creature on 2 legs.  And she could kick my ass.  And that's hot."

 

"EEhhh.. Right." I nod and smile and scooch my chair back a little in case more leg humping happens...

 

"So Verb, what is your favorite thing that happens in the spring?" He grins and asks, "Can we keep talking about Angelina?  She'd be great in the spring....my mattress spring." Seeing my facial expression he adds, "Awww.....riiiight."

 

 

Sighing to myself I press on and ask the first thing that comes to mind, "The red wire or the blue wire?"

 

He rubs his furry little chin in thought before answering.

 

"Hmmm....my Aes Sedai (Besolyn) is a Blue, so I'm going with the blue wire.  If I'm about to die, could you perhaps work on getting Angelina in here?  Thanks in advance."

 

He finishes off with a little nod and I laugh and promise him I will try before asking the next question.

 

"How do you feel about closets and cupboards?"

 

He gives a little fuzzy shrug and tells me, "I'm indifferent about cupboards, but closets are cool if they belong to Jhaenara. *wink*  Ask Boopsy or Sam, they'll know."

 

 

I laugh delightedly again and make a mental note to ask them about it, before curiosity makes me ask, "How does Bob feel about Closets and cupboards?"

 

Verb immediately gets a little frantic and in a hushed voice he replies, "He doesn't know I've been in closets!  Shhh....you'll get me in trouble."

 

I "shhh" and try a different approach, "And Angelina?"

 

His little Ewok face splits into a huge grin and answers, "Awesome, more Angelina questions."

 

He pauses here though and gets a solemn look on his face and continues, "But I should admit something:  My fellow DMers, I have not been entirely truthful with you.  I did gagoogidy that girl.  I gashmoygadied her gaflavity with my googus.  And I am sorry."

 

I sit there, flabbergasted and shocked at this new information as Verb jumps down and runs off to who knows where. Not knowing what to do next, I wander off with my notes to take it all in.

 

 

Well that is all folks! <3

 

[charis sedai]

 

by Al Jenn

 

 

Blueberry Muffins

 

The mood over in their halls is quite blue due to recent events. Wayward fool, Boopsy, has crossed the line and our dear MoNster won't stand for it. He has captivated and seduced one to many aspirants and their boob-berries with his, well we can't talk about that on DM. Never-the-less Daruya has been forced to lock him up. Little does everyone know that Lily and Pete are going to break him out. Luckily for them Daruya, Charis, Ellianora, Danya, Alanna, and Jhaenara are busy talking about Harry Potter... Well, they aren't talking about 'Harry Potter' they're talking about Professor Snape. Apparently he is mouth wateringly delicious. However they all feel tricked for he is really just an old man! Needless to say they are spending a lot of time discussing the issue of 'older men' and if men truly get more attractive with age.

 

 

Brownies

 

Liathiana is keeping the chocolate tub warm for any... 'delicacies'... that might wander in. But who knows if she'll even notice! She is in a fierce battle against the rest of the tower. What battle you ask? Why the reading extravaganza! Lia is studiously reading 100 books in 2010 and she is trying to do it before everyone else, as a whole, reads 500 books. Needless to say she is a bit engrossed in 'literature', the graphic kind, so who knows if she'll get her hands on the unwary... 'delicacies'. We'll just have to see...

 

 

The Cooking Gray's

 

What many of us thought to be an April Fools joke has turned into an elaborate scheme. Mirshann Uuranor has usurped Cairos in a violent uprising. Pookie and Seryanne must have been accomplices for this to have worked... or possibly Cairos got lost in his kitchen. Needless to say Mirshann appears to be a new Elaida and will be cracking the whip on all of those who oppose her will.

 

(Cairos is off dealing with things in the 'Real World' however he says hello and wishes everyone the best)

 

 

The Battle Ajah

 

Now I know why they drink so much green tea, something to try and mellow them out. The halls, as always, are filled with chatter. Now it is all about men though. I think Shamaeso's return sparked it all. Kara is walking around all doey-eyed and the rest of the greens are green with envy. So anyone with five limbs better watch out. Lily seems to have secreted Sam away and Min and Bursius are dancing through the halls. Meanwhile the other sisters are on the prowl... In fact soon there will be... *Gets dragged away by Little miss*

 

 

Snugglebiters

 

Awards and pressies have been flowing out left and right, but what is the real reason for this? Let's go behind the scenes and find out what is going on! Mystica she seems like the prefect red, completely in touch with her rosebud and as highest the essence of what it means to be a red. However late one night I saw her along with her fellow reds: Zania, Torrie, Talya, Taymist, Moghedian, Dragonsworn, Tynaal, Mayleigh... well every Red sister and brother I knew kneeled in supplication to none other than Raijin the 'honorary' red. My mind has been reeling trying to figure out what happened until I linked it with all the new flashy awards being given out. Everyone knows Raijin has been 'out' or was inactive and the only reason I can think of is he was out getting 'bling'. Now his insidious plot is to buy everyone over to the reds with his bling so he can fist rule the White Tower... then the world!

 

 

Reasoners

 

Some noise has finally come back to the White Ajah's halls. Twinflower and Jeran have stopped by to say hello, but who knows how long this will last. Most likely all the whites came down to grab some food so they can restock their rooms. They did seem to find the fact that we are now a Social Group interesting. I believe the will be pondering on the virtues of the new groups versus our old Org-ies. Walking down the white halls you'll past Twinflowers room then Jerans and just hear the sounds of logic and reason escaping from their rooms. Creaking beds, rustling, quiet moans... the sounds of intellectuals.

 

 

Yellow Polka-dots

 

It is baby making time for the yellows. They have 'spring fever' and they are setting into it with a will. Nyneave is leading Dah'mir, Meesh, Tigara, and Naeann on an epic mission to impregnate everyone in the White Tower. I'm warning you now, beware, otherwise you might find yourself tied up who knows where. And after not remembering a thing the following day you'll find yourself expecting a baby and sore in various places.

[charis sedai]

by Little Miss

 

Welcome to the section where you can get your monthly fill of:

 

 

I cant believe they just said that! to the LMAO!  Now that was funny!  And lets not forget the lovely ones that make you want to add, Thats what she said

 

 

Now Ladies and Gentleman, please enjoy the random, nonsensical, and utterly delightful quotes of the month!

 

I do it to Lily once, and all of a sudden, I m a leg humper.

 

:D

 

That is the sort of thing that tends to follow you...

 

-----------

 

I am going to raise such chaos for the Yellows that they will all be tarnished and scarred for life  ;D

 

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

 

*tries to talk then bursts out laughing again*

 

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

 

*wipes a tear and manages to gasp out* He . . . *gasps* . . . thinks . . . bwah-hah-hah . . . he's going . . . *gasps* . . . to corrupt the Yellows!

 

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

Bwah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah!

 

*drags herself weakly from the room, still laughing*

 

---------------------------

 

*noms Pete's lucky charms*

o.0

What?

He's Irish...he always carries them...

 

:D

 

 

--------------------------------

 

*wonders if this means he's another Mystica* >.>

 

Can the universe handle this?

 

*hides in case Myst comes by*

-------------------------------

 

 

- If you're in need of a kidney they can always spare one.

 

- Child labor FTW.

 

- You can grab extra ketchup bags while your kid is having a tantrum on the floor.

 

- You can sit down your kid and tell him how he ruined your life whenever you need a pick me up.

 

- If trained properly your child can be a wonderful substitute when the remote breaks unexpectedly.

 

 

 

Nyn

 

---------------------------------

 

Aww come on Tharen. Getting prettied is fun!

 

Or am I just a freak? :-\

... that's a trick question, isn't it?

 

------------------------

 

*licks Verb's giggity*

 

*smokes a cigarette*

 

-----------------------

 

A moose bit my Sister.....

 

----------------

 

BOOB BERRIES!!! *bounces*

 

*snuggles Charis' boob-berries*

 

[charis sedai]

Zombies, aliens, and alternative rock! OH MY!

 

 

by mcs0083

 

Recommended Reading

 

The Templar Legacy by Steve Berry

 

First off, this is one of the best books I've read in quite a long time. The protagonist of the story is Cotton Malone, a former U.S. operative.

One day he is contacted by his former supervisor Stephanie Nelle, who has a propostion to help her track down a legendary cache of wealth, which was thought to have been lost forever with the Knights of Templar when they were exterminated. However, a shadowy zealot is also trying to beat them to it's discovery.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Templar-Legacy-Novel-Steve-Berry/dp/0345504410/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1271828140&sr=1-1

(I am in fact selling my copy on Amazon if you wish to inquire)

 

The Magic of Recluce by L.E. Modesitt Jr.

 

Many of you may already have read this, but I'm going to suggest it anyway. In my opinion, Modesitt Jr. writes better, even though WoT's story is better. Anyway, this is the first book in the very successful Saga of Recluce series. It features the protagonist Lerris, a youth who is struggling in trying to hone his magical abilities. Eventually being exiled from his island home until he proves himself, he is left with no choice but to wonder the world that is filled with both Order and Chaos, and the never ending cycle to maintain balance between the two. Honestly, this is one of the best fantasy books I've ever read. I highly recommend it to any fan of the genre.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Magic-Recluce-Saga/dp/1857232011/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1271828079&sr=1-1

 

 

 

Recommended Watching

 

Torchwood (Television)

 

Torchwood is probably one of the best shows to come from the BBC in my opinion. Other then Doctor who of course :D  Basically, it deals with the machinations and activities of the Cardiff branch of the fictional Torchwood Institute, which deals mainly with incidents involving extraterrestrials. The thing is, Torchwood is a post-watershed show that is, after 9 p.m. it has more mature content than shows like Doctor Who. However, it is was of course still very successful. The only draw back is the amount of episodes. With only 31, you'll be able to see the whole story unfold with in a few days.

 

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddvd&field-keywords=Torchwood&x=0&y=0

Zombieland (Movie)

 

To get it out of the way, if you're looking for an epic story, this movie is not for you. However, if you are into not only zombies, but apocalypse movies of any kind, with a nice indie feel, then this is for you. The basic premise at first is a lone boy, Columbus, who trying to survive in a world filled with zombies. He is joined later by Tallahassee, Little Rock, and Wichita. They are trying to reach a fabled area in the US that is supposedly free of zombies, but of course they aren't just going to get there as if it were a cake walk. Needless to say, there is more then enough violence.

 

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddvd&field-keywords=Zombieland&x=0&y=0

 

Recommended Listening

 

Brand New

 

I myself have only recently discovered this band, but I am sooo glad that I did. Formed in 2000, Brand New is from Long Island, New York. They first we're first greatly recognized from their album in 2006, The Devil and God Are Raging Inside Me. One of the hit songs from this album, "Jesus Christ", became their highest charting single in the US, peaking at number 30 on the Alternative Songs chart. But more importantly, their most recent album, Daisy, is by far (in my opinion at least) their best musical offering to date. It brings the full spectrum of the band's ability to light, and does not disappoint.

 

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=Brand+New&x=0&y=0

 

 

[charis sedai]

 

Claireducky has the newest info for you on what awesome events you can look forward to starting soon!

 

EVENTS:

 

May 1st-8th:  Green Ajah Feast of Fools / BT & Warders

May 10th-???:  Red Ajah Cultural Exchange

May 26th-???: Harry Potter Mafia Game

 

Also at some point Al Jenn should return to finish the Black Tower/White Tower trivial pursuit event, so if you signed up for a team keep a watch out so you'll be ready when it starts!

 

CLASSES:

 

There are no current signups on the Lecture Hall, but Mirshann will be taking over the April Cooking Class after Cairos departure.  Hopefully they will keep doing new Cooking classes each month as well!  There should be another round of the White Tower and the DM World sometime in June, so keep your eyes peeled for signups for that, as well!

[charis sedai]

Meet The... MYSTERY GROUP!

 

In this month's edition, Mother Ducker asked some questions of one of the many groups around DM (as she always does)-- but this time there's a twist.  Instead of telling you up front who she is interviewing, she will leave it a mystery for you to find out!

MD: So mystery leader (ML), tell us a little bit about yourself!

ML:  Well, I've been at DM for about 3.5 years, serving the site in various capacities. Out in the online world I'm somewhat active over at Tar Valon.net, and one non-wot related forum. Out in the real world I come from the greatest country on earth (and if you guess wrong, shame on you!) and am a budding web developer, working on expanding my craft. My hobbies include dressing up in 1800's style clothing and re-enacting historical events.

MD: A re-enactor, huh?  Well that should be one clue for our readers!  Why don't you tell me about the group you are in charge of?

 

ML: Well, my group is a small one, and currently it has 3 subgroups that you can choose between. Advancing from being a new member to a full ranked member has 2 steps. Each with about four requirements to complete, though, I'll let you take a closer look at our boards to find out what they are.

MD: Not giving anything away, are you?  I do know that I've been watching your group closely and have seen lots of growth in recent months, so kudos to you!  What do you think is the best thing about your group (why do people join)?

 

ML: Me of course! Though, really I'd say the best thing about the group is the people there. A friendly dynamic with a very solid structure to support it. Plus, we are fairly small, so you don't need to worry about getting overwhelmed by us.

MD: Another clue-- you aren't shy!  Do you have any upcoming events we should know about?

 

ML: There's always something going on-- almost all of our events are actually teamed up with other groups, so that helps with participation and lets people get to know each other better.

 

MD: Awesome!  I visit your boards almost every day and I must say it looks like a fun place to be, if more people knew about it!

 

So who do YOU think Mother Ducker interviewed?  Post your guesses as a reply to the newsletter!

[charis sedai]

by Kara_J

 

Come play games with us!  *g*  Work your brain and have fun while you do it with this monthly feature.

 

Featured this month:

 

Word-search!  Test your skills on this Word-search game here:

Wordsearch

 

If you're having trouble solving it, the answer button is at the bottom of the page :) Good luck and have fun!

 

 

Have a suggestion for a game?  Let us know!  Email us at daesdaemar@whitetower.org and be sure to put "Puzzles and Games" in the subject line!

 

 

 

Intro blurb:

Come play games with us!  *g*  Work your brain and have fun while you do it with this monthly feature.

 

[charis sedai]

 

by Nynaeve

 

Nurit: The tonight's show with Nurit has come back once again to bring forth a beautiful Saladaen lady. Everybody welcome, Faile!

 

Faile: *walks onto the stage and sits down*

 

Nurit: Faile, you look lovely! That velvet dress is quite stunning.

 

Faile: *smiles warmly* Thank you, dear.

 

Nurit: Faile, lets start with the bad first. Have you heard about Perrin's recent change?

 

Faile: About him being able to speak with wolves? He's delusional, if you ask me. Last week it was talking to cows.

 

Nurit: No, I was talking about him being a men lover.

 

Faile: Oh, that! It's quite all right. Whatever makes him happy, makes me happy.

 

Nurit: You're taking this quite calmly. Seems a bit uncharacteristic of you.

 

Faile: Well.... I've grown. I'm a better person.

 

Nurit: Therapy?

 

Faile: >.> Anger management.

 

Nurit: Willingly?

 

Faile: Of course!

 

Nurit: *taps foot irritably* Don't make me swear you on the oath rod.

 

Faile: O_O There might have been an incident.

 

Nurit: What kind of incident?

 

Faile: Some words were said. Certain knives were thrown. Nothing too serious.

 

Nurit: So, who sent you to anger rehab?

 

Faile: RJ. He said if I don't get my act together, he'll kill me off and have Perrin marry the saucy wench.

 

Nurit: I'm assuming my readers need not a clarification on who you're talking about. Anyway, I see the treatment was quite successful.

 

Faile: Oh, yes. Nothing rattles my boat. I am a leaf in the wind.

 

Nurit: Isn't that sweet. *whispers Berelain...*

 

Faile: *eye twitches*

 

Nurit: *smiles* lets play a little game. I say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. Works for you?

 

Faile: Yes, go ahead.

 

Nurit: Perrin

 

Faile: Deodorant. As in, lack of *wrinkles nose*

 

Nurit: Rand

 

Faile: Wanker

 

Nurit: Mat

 

Faile: Doable.

 

Nurit: RJ

 

Faile: Way overrated.

 

Nurit: emmm...Berelain.

 

Faile: Bloody witch! I will get her! I will rip off her head and chew it till there's no tomorrow!!!!! Then I will squash her swan like neck till it looks like.... a real swan's neck! That ugly bloody %^^$<%$>>$%%^#^$#$%#

 

Nurit: And there goes a shit load of therapy money. Such a waste.

 

Faile: ....And when she screams for forgiveness I'll be all classy and kick her in the gut till she squeals!...

 

Nurit: wow, that IS classy. Any other person would just leave her in a pool of her own blood. But certainly not you, Faile. You'll kick her while she's down.

 

Faile: And when I twist her leg and she begs me to stop, I will.

 

Nurit: You will? O_O

 

Faile: Why, of course. So I can start working on the other leg.

 

Nurit: Naturally. Wow, Faile, I didn't know your violent tendencies were that extreme.

 

Faile: Are you calling me a hag?!?!

 

Nurit: *Looks up at her last line* Nope, no hag.

 

Faile: You want to take this outside, Nurit?

 

Nurit: Only if you take me somewhere nice.

 

Faile: *grabs Nurit by the hair and drags her out*

 

Nurit: Till next time, you guys....ack!.... ouch.......WITCH! no wonder Perrin left you for a male piece of ass!!!

 

Faile: *eyes narrow*

 

Nurit: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

The End

 

 

 

[ed2funy]

bahahaha....1 and 1/2 quotes. ^^

[Al Jenn Mael]

How do you get a half a quote. Either you do or you don't Ed.... Go big or go home!

[ed2funy]

I was a quote inside a quote. The credit is not fully mine.

:D

[claireducky]

What, no guesses on who I interviewed? 

[charis sedai]

I haven't gotten very many votes, either, Mother

[ed2funy]

I was only on my phone...give me a few days...

>_>

when exactly is the dealine?

:D

[charis sedai]

May 20th, for me. Make sure to PM me!!

[Verbal32]

What, no guesses on who I interviewed? 

 

Barm.

[Al Jenn Mael]

What, no guesses on who I interviewed? 

 

Barm.

 

I want to say Bob, but I don't think that is right...

 

How about... Corki?

[claireducky]

Verby wins!

 

Yeah, it was Barm and the Warder's guild. :)

[Corki]

What, no guesses on who I interviewed? 

Barm.

I want to say Bob, but I don't think that is right...

How about... Corki?

 

The "being here at DM for 3.5 years" should have given it away that it wasn't me! ;)

[Verbal32]

I could tell it was Barm right away due to how he phrased things.  :-\

[charis sedai]

VOTES! SEND ME VOTES! :D