This week in entertainment

[Justen Diablos]

So today I've recieved three Happy 420 text messages, and this evening I have three less contacts on my cell phone than I did this morning.  *nod*  Now to avoid a four to five paragraph diatribe on why I can't stand pot smokers (or really drug use in general (mostly because I have absolutely no moral ground to stand on in any situation  :P)) I'll just get right into this weeks installment of the report.

 

Entertainment News

 

Twitter... how does this word hit you?  Would you consider yourself a big fan of the medium or do you think it's the worst thing to happen to the internet since R.Kelly?  Whatever your personal feeling about the medium *cough*itsucks*cough* it is exploding onto the pop culture scene.  What does this have to do with anything? you, the reader, might ask me in italics to distinguish your question from the rest of my column.  Well I'll tell you.  Ashton Kutcher is the crowned King of Twitter, as this week he was the first to reach 1 million twitter subscribers, beating global news network CNN to a million by almost thirty minutes (Yay).  Ashton held a press conference immediately following the victory, saying it was a "long and difficult road" and that the victory really goes to "his million(s) of fans".

 

"They're the ones who really made this happen" He said in an interview I completely made up for this weeks article "The people out there who ignore my limited talent and inability to say anything interesting in my 'tweets' and continue to subscribe to me in an effort to figure out if I really do love Demi or just decided to use a middle aged woman with two kids to throw the scent off the gay trail.  I owe it all to them, it just makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside" 

 

EA games was also involved in the battle promising to give (freely) every single game they produced this year to Ashton's one millionth twitter subscriber.  Who is this lucky (and infamous) twit? Osama Bin Laden. Indeed, it was surprising to all of us, though he explained himself in a brief statement My goal all along has been to bring the american civilization as we've known it in our lifetimes to it's knees.  Perhaps the combination of twitter and Ashton Kutcher can succeed where I've thus far failed.  Plus I really enjoyed Dude, Where's my Car? 

 

Because of Kutcher's fame and twitter's enormous success and increasing penetration (heh) into pop culture Oprah Winfrey has announced she will throw her large...erm...small (um, is she fat this week or not?)...eh, we'll go with hat (don't worry about what I was going to say) into the twitter ring, writing her first 'tweet' live on her show.  More twitter news? Yup, got it... this week there was also a twitter scare in which Mtv star Tila Tequila was declared dead.  I'm not sure whether or not this was a hoax or the truth, as I've never been able to force myself to care enough to read past the headlines (although safely here in these parenthesis I will tell you that it was indeed a hoax and that Tila is crazy hot (in an alive kind of way (*nod*)))

 

In other news and with actual real quotes (I don't need to make this stuff up (for the most part)) Jamie Foxx (Oscar award winning actor) blasted box office megastar (shame on all of you) Miley Cyrus telling her to "make a sex tape and grow up. Get like Britney Spears and do some heroin. Do like Lindsay Lohan … and get some crack in your pipe … That's what I want."  When pulled aside by his handlers and informed that it's 'uncool' for a 41 year old black man to verbally abuse a 16 year old white girl he quickly apologized saying "I am a comedian, and you guys know that whatever I say, I don't mean any of it. And sometimes, as comedians, as we do, we go a little bit too far...Miley, I apologize, so I'll call you. I got a daughter too, so I completely understand."  Billy Ray responded almost instantly saying "Hey, boy, where I'm from we don't take kindly to you people calling our daughters" When asked what he meant by this he spit his chaw out on to the reporter's shoe and answered "You know what I meant, now get out of my way, it's nearly 11 am and I need to get good and drunk before Nascar comes on."

 

Speaking of pimping out your daughter for financial gain (that's professional grade segway action people) the father of Slumdog Millionaire star Rubina Ali is denying reports that he attempted to sell his daughter for 20 million rupees (roughly 400,000 dollars).  Rafiq Qureshi says he loves his daughter and even though they haven't recieved a cent for her work in the film and still live in horrible conditions in the worst parts of india he wouldn't think of selling his daughter for anything less than 40 million rupees... maybe as low as 35 if they threw in a car.

 

In some other news tidbits Lindsey Lohan did an eharmony spoof this week that's both amusing and self depricating (Don't watch people, remember we're hoping she bottoms out and stars in porn (don't act like it's just me that wants that)). Chris Brown beats women (and is currently single). Author of the DiVinci Code Dan Brown is bringing his hero Robert Langdon to paper again September 15th when he releases his newest effort 'Lost Symbol'.  And Zac Efron is officially a big time movie star *ahem* as his movie 17 again dominated the box office over the weekend doing 23 million dollars... um shame on you again.

 

New Releases!!

 

In a brief author's note I'll mention that I completely forgot what websites I got my news from last week when I wrote this report.  So now, I'm getting news from completely different sites, which hasn't made too much of a difference so far, except that I think my entertainment news was a bit more tabloidy (definately a word (I'm 87% sure)) this week than last.  And now, as I do new DvD releases I'll just say that wherever I got my info from last week they only mentioned those 5 or so DvD's I reviewed, but this week I'm checking out blockbuster.com, and they have like 67 (give or take twenty) new releases that come out tomorrow (including gay porn (Blockbuster I barely know thee anymore)).  In any case I'll limit my reviews to just the top five or so again this week.

 

Frost/Nixon   Ron Howard directs and Charlie and Emilio's lesser known brother Michael Sheen stars in this historical adaption of the infamous Frost/Nixon interview (I think that's where the name of the movie comes from) .  Now, I know Empy loves this kind of thing (also the Acadamy) and from reading the various threads on this message board I get that maybe ya'll's (that word works a lot better spoken than written) taste in movies differs a bit from mine.  Keep that in mind when I say that I'm really not that interested in this kind of thing.  So if you're into watching Acadamy Award winning movies (Like Brokeback Mountain) this is probably for you. Otherwise, get one of the other fine movies coming out this week.  3 Nyns. (Insert Fun Fact here:  Frost/Nixon was released in select (3) theatre's on December 5th 2008 (Because Ron Howard is an Acadamy Award whore) and then released to the masses on January 23 of this year.  Since that date it has grossed $18,622,031 domestically through March(The movie actually cost 25 million to make).  5 mil less than Zac Efron did over the weekend.../end fun fact)

 

The Wrestler   So a brief recap about non essential facts.  Former three time, three time, three time World Karate Champion Earnest Miller is in this movie.  And Marisa Tomei plays a stripper  ::).  Okay, so yeah, Tomei is still a lovely girl, and you know what, I'm all for an older actress being cast as the love interest of the main character (I'm as sick of the 60 year old guy 22 year old girl as you are (Or at least I'll say I am in public)), but as a stripper? she's 44. So, no, not fealing it.  Mickey Rourke doesn't do it for me and the premise of the movie - older wrestler trying to make a comeback and attempting to find love (To quote David Spade I enjoyed it the first time...when it was called Rocky Balboa). 2 Nyns (Because Evan Rachel Wood plays the daughter, and yeah, I dig Tomei and I'd still nail her  8))

 

Into the Blue 2: The Reef  You remember the original Into the Blue, with Paul Walker and Jessica Alba? Yeah, it sucked, but at least those two are pretty and famous.  1 Nyn

 

And now, the Release of the Week.

 

Notorious  The story of the Notorious B.I.G. from producer Sean 'Puffy' Combs.  Not really a lot to say about this movie except that I'm excited about it and will probably go get it as soon as I finish this report.  Writing credit goes to (among others) Reggie Rock, who wrote and directed Biker Boyz (horrible movie) so that's not that good a selling point.  But it is an interesting story for a hip hop fan like myself and so I'll give it my highest rating to date... 4 Nyns.

 

And with that I'll end this weeks new releases section.  I'm still contemplating switching to a 1/2 Nyn format for ratings.  But then I think about the muse for my rating system, what would Half a Nyn look like?  It would be distressing, I need both halves of Nyn to really get the full Nyn effect... though I guess that would depend on how we split Nyn, really in her picture box at the side of the screen on her posts I only see half a Nyn (the top half) and that still does it for me  ;), so maybe there is something to this 1/2 Nyn after all. Hmmmm *ponders* It's such a dillema (er, dilemma) yup, that looks much righter... dilemma.

 

 

In Theatre's Now

 

Two weeks in a row, first Miley rocks 34 Mil and then young Efron hits 23 million.  In both cases teeny bop movies are dominating the Box Office, it'll be interesting to see if any of the new movies this week will be able to unseat them this week.  God I hope so.  State of Play actually did a respectable 14 Million (if Ben Affleck and Russel Crowe losing out to the Jonas Brothers can be considered respectable in any context) and Crank did a paltry 6 Million (congratulations, at least we moviegoers got one thing right- ten points).  This week...

 

The Soloist  Based on a true story a journalist (played by Robert Downey Jr.) comes across a former classical music prodigy homeless on the street (Played by Jamie Foxx) and attempts to bring him out of his troubles and find his way back to normalcy.  Jamie Foxx was said to go into treatment after this movie as he got so into character he was left emotionally drained.  This looks like a good movie, and we know that Foxx can act his ass off (Ray was exceptional), so we'll see if this movie can score as big as a Miley Cyrus movie.  Somehow I doubt it will.  And that amuses and saddens me.

 

Obsessed  A regular businessman with a good life and happy marriage finds himself stalked by Beyonce who wants nothing but to make sweet sweet love to him from sunup to sundown.  Awwww, how terrible for him.  Don't movies have to have some sort of conflict in them? Because I don't see one here.  Just leave your wife for Beyonce...there, movie's done.  I'm not sure if Beyonce can act but she is gorgeous, so I guess I give this made for Lifetime movie a tepid thumbs up.  Not excited about it personally but it might not suck.  And Jerry O'Connell is in it. nice.

 

Fighting   This extremly originally titled movie is about a small town boy coming to new york and becoming a street fighter.  The blurb about it reminds me of the movie Lionheart with Jean Claude Van Damme.  I guess that was a good movie.  If I had to guess it's your classic teen violence movie that will score big with adolescent boys (and guys who aren't much more than grown up adolescent boys) and will probably be this weeks box office winner.  Terrence Howard is in it though, and that might be the artistic saviour of an otherwise bland movie in an overdone genre.

 

Seanchan News

 

We're up and running our best TV shows of 2008 competition.  The only show I really watch regularly of the ones nominated is House, so I hope it wins. So far House and Fringe are through the second round and onto the third, and currently How I Met Your Mother is destroying The Office and looks like a sure bet to move on as well.  There's still plenty of voting to go so go and make your preferences known.  The April Movie of the Month is Young Frankenstein, a Mel Brooks film.  Now I'm personally a big fan of Men in Tights and recently been turned onto Spaceballs, but I've never seen Young Frankenstien, I heard about it though, and they say it's quite funny.  Check it out this month and join the discussion, if for no other reason than the beautiful and talented Cadsuane is spearheading the discussion.  Zashara started a most quoteable movie thread and that seems fun.  The most quotable for me was always Menace II Society.  I loved that movie...

 

Conclusion

 

Well today I watched both How I Met Your Mother and Heroes on tv.  I was unimpressed (though I have enjoyed How I Met Your Mother in the Past) so I will continue to not report on TV in this column.  Even the basketball playoffs, though I feel they're worth writing about, I just won't do it here.

 

I said I'd do video game news and so I will, but there's still nothing I feel really excited about.  Fallout: New Vegas, a new action RPG has been announced for sometime next year. *shrug*

 

Anyway I'm off to get Notorious on DvD now, or maybe tomorrow morning, not sure.  Maybe I'll expand this column outward and do a second midweek review kind of thing of new DvDs or possibly movies in theatre's.  Because I'd really like to go to a movie.  Plus I enjoy hanging out here in Empy's main board.

 

And yes I know I'm late and this is a late release, it's no longer Monday. I'm sorry (not sorry) about that.  So to quote someone kind of amazing

 

Happy Tuesday DM

 

JD,

'Chan

[Cadsuane]

For the record, Marisa Tomei was hot in the Wrestler, 40 years old or no. *nod*  It was otherwise a well done, if emotionally unpleasant movie.

 

-kt

(Sleepy and) Adoring fan of this column since April '09.

[Dunbar]

*cough*itsucks*cough*

 

*cheers*

 

Also, when you said "do I really love Demi" I thought you meant me for a moment

 

That warmed my heart

[Joram]

But... what if you could post to Twitter WITH YOUR MIND??!?!?

http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/health/index.html

[Haxorsist]

Yeah, Twitter sucks. Joram likes it because he can subscribe to Miley Cyrus' tweets.

[Joram]

Don't make me firebomb your town.

[Nynaeve]

Usually I'd claim copyrights over the usage of my handle... then again... err... I think we'd both end up getting sued  *lol*  So, lets keep this on the hush hush  >.>

 

 

 

Nyn