Thoughts to ponder... feel free to add your own.

[Naeann]

Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2009:

 

Number 10:  Life is sexually transmitted.

 

Number 9:  Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 

Number 8:  Men have two emotions:  Hungry and Horny. If you see him  without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 

Number 7:  Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

 

Number 6:  Some people are like a Slinky..Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

 

Number 5:  Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

 

Number 4:  All of us could take a lesson from the weather.  It pays no attention to Criticism.

 

Number 3:  Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?

 

Number 2:  In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.  Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

 

And The Number 1 Thought For 2009:  We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.

 

Bonus:  "Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow."

[Desiree]

And The Number 1 Thought For 2009:  We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows, but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration.

 

I've been saying that for a couple of years now. I whole heartedly agree with this. i mean, I don't hav eanything against immigrants - just the illegal ones. and the ones who don't care to learn the language

[Talya]

*makes all men a sandwich*  :P

 

I like those Nae  :D

 

The Human body...

 

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. 

One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

 

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

 

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

 

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

 

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

 

Women blink twice as often as men.

 

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

 

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

 

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

 

 

Women reading this will be finished now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.       

 

 

 

 

 

 

[bad company]

Well you could get out the measure and save us the bother talya ;)

[Talya]

*eyes badco*

 

I have no idea where it has been, why would I want to touch it?

[Dunbar]

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

 

Don't I feel emasculated

 

Men are still busy checking their thumbs.

 

 

Oh god, it's true. I laughed.

[bad company]

Demi you'll never sell yourself with that attitude

[Guest dragonsworn1991]

I have a thought

 

If more people die from cigarettes a year than not wearing there seatbelts why aren't cigarettes against the law and not wearing a seat belt is

[Barmacral]

Don't open that can of worms, there's nothing smokers hate more than non-smokers who vocally feel the smoker should quit.

[cosmicpanda]

Pithy comments always fail me when I try to make them  :(

[Barmacral]

Thats because you try, which means you try too hard. Wit generally is done best with no forethought.

[Gerrendus]

Number 8:  Men have two emotions:  Hungry and Horny. If you see him  without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 

And if a way was somehow found to satisfy both emotions that the same time a man would surely die of bliss

[Desiree]

ROFL @ Gerr XD

[cosmicpanda]

Gerr, you haven't been around  ;D

[Talya]

Number 8:  Men have two emotions:  Hungry and Horny. If you see him  without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 

And if a way was somehow found to satisfy both emotions that the same time a man would surely die of bliss

 

So said my last ten dead husbands... :)

[Barmacral]

Gerr, you mean to say you've never had head and a sandwich at the same time? I'd feel sorry for you, but you're a dreadie.

[Dunbar]

Number 8:  Men have two emotions:  Hungry and Horny. If you see him  without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 

And if a way was somehow found to satisfy both emotions that the same time a man would surely die of bliss

 

Maybe you could eat sex

[Barmacral]

Demi, I take it your parents never had the talk with you?

[bad company]

That's why he speaks in beeps :D

[Desiree]

this thread amuses me to no end ;D

 

*stamps it with her RP Approval Stamp of DhoOom*

[eclipse0]

Oh there's nothing like coming downstairs to find your woman bent over the kitchen table with a turkey sandwich balanced on her bare back...

[Desiree]

o.O

 

that's really that appealing? :-\ i mean, yeah I can understand the honey, chocolate syrup, or caramel syrup thing... but a sandwhich?

[Barmacral]

I don't understand whats not appealing about a sandwich?

[Desiree]

LOL! man... if it was a sub from Logan's Heroes Fera'd prolly have a heart attack ::) but highly doubt I'd ever do that as it's just a little on the weird side. just a little... *holds hands apart as far as they can go* yeah, a little...

[Dunbar]

Demi, I take it your parents never had the talk with you?

 

I always figured it involved lots of ketchup