NEWS

[Nynaeve]

FYI, feel free to comment on the news (but don't spam). I will try to have two new articles up every week or so.

 

 

http://www.cleveland.com/news/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/cuyahoga/1235053868227360.xml&coll=2

 

Fell outside strip club but claimed it was a hate-crime attack, police say

 

So, you feel really good about yourself and decide to hit the strip club with your buddies. The Secrets Gentleman's Club on Brookpark Road, to be precise. After you get a lapdance or two, stuff a few dollars down some g-strings and have an amount of alcohol that would knock out a hypo, you go out to the parking lot (roughly around 10:30 PM) and very gracefully fall flat on your face, breaking a leg in the process. 

 

When you come to, you can't think of a better idea than to tell the police that one men from a group of three African-American called you a racial slur, punched you in the face and then the other two joined in and beat you up to a bloody pulp.

 

Well, if you're bright enough to do all the above, just make sure that there are no surveillance cameras around, dumbass :P

 

 

Nyn comment: The only thing I want to know is....  Hax, where were you February 2, at 10:30 PM? :P

 

 

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http://www.statesman.com/blogs/content/shared-gen/blogs/austin/blotter/entries/2009/02/19/car_drives_through_front_of_te.html

 

Car drives through front of Texadelphia

 

Your tummy rumbles and you need food. Sandwich sounds like a good idea? Great! Your flawless thought process brings you to Texadelphia for one of there yummies. You decide to use the drive-through to order the sandwich because you still have a lot of things to get done, being the busy man that you are. Seconds later you're dismayed to discover that the restaurant doesn't have a drive-through....

 

 

Nyn comment:  Oops?

 

 

[cosmicpanda]

how the flippity bunny rabbit did they do that?

[Nynaeve]

Oh, I prettified it. He was really in the parking lot and he accidentally hit the gas and drove into the shop  ;D

 

 

 

 

Nyn

[Guest dragonsworn1991]

People does some crazy stuff

[Desiree]

it wasn't a crazy stunt, but a really tired one on my way back from work at like 1 am and I hit the breaks instead of the clutch once and nearly has this guy who was tailgating me rear end me. so I can see how accidents like that occur

[Desiree]

 

Olympics for the Unemployed

 

Jobless New Yorkers gathered around for this mock olympics in Manhattan organized by a laid-off computer programmer. The unemployed competed in a wide range of low-tech games, a parody of many classic games. Children of a nearby school cheered the contestants on as thery participated in Office Phone Skee-Ball by throwing black office phones at chalk markers on the ground and Pin the Blame on the Boss. Other options scribbled on the sign if you missed the Boss included the following: the War, ARMs (Adjustable Mortgage Rates), consumer spending, the FED, and the economy.

 

Pol comment: Az, did you get laid off?

 

 

Grandma Gets Arrested for Teaching A Lesson on Speeding

 

Picture this. You're a police officer sitting in your car and idly recording the speed of passerbies when all of a sudden an eastbound Mazda 6 zooms by at a speed of 103 miles per hour. That's exactly what Marion County Sherrif's Department Deputy Ryan Postlewait saw - a record speed recorded on Hylo Road. Sandra Nardi, 53, decided to teach her grandson a lesson on the dangers of speeding by taking him for a little "joyride." Her reasoning? Several people, including many teenagers, were killed on Hylo road for speeding and dangerous driving. It is needless to say that Nardi was arrested and taken to Marion County Jail on charges of reckless driving and reckless endangerment.

 

Pol comment: Go, grandma, go! Put the pedal to the metal! Oh wait.... awww. Looks like the Barm Police finally caught up to ya. Oh well, you had a nice run.

[Desiree]

 

Man Drops Engagement Ring Off Brooklyn Bridge During Proposal

 

Today is hopefully going to be your lucky day as you're about to pop the question to your girlfriend while on the Brooklyn Bridge. You pull the fuzzy little box out of your box and - uh oh! Your hopes and dreams tumble as the ring falls down into traffic below through a crack in the pedestrian bridge. That's exactly what happened to Don Walling as he was about to propose to Gina Pellicani. After eating supper with his family and his girlfriend to celebrate his 29th birthday, he had taken them for a walk on Brooklyn Bridge. Wallings got down on one knee, with his sister-in-law recording the historic moment, when he dropped the ring after pulling it out of the box. Stunned, the man sprung into action. He kissed his girlfriend on the cheek and told her he was going to fetch the ring. While climbing down the bridge, a concerned citizen called in a suicide jumper alert and a police suicide prevention van immediately arrived at the scene. After convincing the cops he wasn't crazy or suicidal, with the help of police blocking traffic and the family directing him above, Walling was able to locate the ring. While the band was bent, the diamond and other stones were intact. Wallings insists it fell out of the box, but the couple still plans to marry on April 24th on Long Island.

 

Pol Comment: Fell out? Yeah, nice way to cya on NBC, dude XD

 

 

Journalists Get Shocked With 'Sexy' White House Call

 

Thursday, when United States-based journalist attempted to connect to a conference call with senior officials and Barack Obama in London were amazed when a sexy voice instead came over the phone "Do you have any hidden desires? Well, do you feel like getting nasty? Then you came to the right place -- brought to you by the girls of Swank magazine." After giving up on the US 800 number, journalists finally got through to two officials in London, National Security Advisor James Jones and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. There were two numbers listed in the email, and 800 number was sent for journalists in the united states to use while the other one was for overseas journalists. No explanation has been offered as to how the White House sent out the wrong number in the email. When asked about the mistake, Thomas Vietor, a White House spokesman, said there were "Lots of important issues to cover today!" over the number. After being asked further about the number, Vietor replied: "I haven't dialed whatever number you're referencing. Please call such numbers on your free time!"

 

Pol Comment: Buuuuuuuuuure! You didn't get the news? We already know politicians lie through their teeth 8)

 

All articles were obtained from this site: http://www.encircling.us/

[Desiree]

 

Church Threatened by School District

 

A church’s lease contract is under review after sending out fliers for their latest sermon. New Hope Church has been threatened to be kicked out of Sherwood Elementary by the Brevard Public School District. Why? For having a sermon titled “Great Sex for You.”

 

Twenty-five thousand fliers were sent out to residents that asked them “Is your sex life a bore?” Pastor Bruce Cadle thought that this taboo topic had been kept silent for too long. The fliers invited those unsatisfied with their love life to participate in the church’s new three-week program inside the school auditorium. However, Mark Langdorf, the Director of Risk Development, said that the people mailing the fliers out generated a lot of complaints. Many of which stated that the sermon was not appropriate to be held in the auditorium of an elementary school. New Hope Church will have to find a new home for their sermons.

 

*Original article can be found at http://cbs2.com/watercooler/church.sex.sermons.2.995142.html*

 

 

You Hit Like A Girl

 

“You hit like a girl!” was the furthest thing from Christopher Childers’s hopeful mind when he snuck into a car with two nineteen-year-old Hooters waitresses. Childers was looking for a little fun by surprising the two waitresses, but the beating he received took him off guard. One of the girls called the police after the other one slammed his leg in the door.

 

Artie Turner, Police chief of Georgia’s Loganville PD, told reporters that Childers had said that the women “looked easy” and he had a “very conservative” girlfriend. Police found pictures of Childers being beat in his vehicle by the two Hooters waitresses. However, much to Childers’s dismay, the women weren’t wearing their tight Hooters T-shirts. Reality is never as good as fantasy; especially since Childers is now being charged with felony entering an auto.

 

*Original article can be found at http://weirdnews.about.com/b/2009/04/20/hooters-girs-beat-up-guy-in-parking-lot.htm*

[Zyrshnikashnu]

Many of which stated that the sermon was not appropriate to be held in the auditorium of an elementary school.

I have to ask why they were having their service in a public school.

[Desiree]

I've no clue honestly, lol. I wondered that myself and that's why I put it up there, mainly. Might be a small town like the one I grew up in where that's the biggest gathering place they have readily available.

[Desiree]

 

"Japanese melons! Get your Japanese melons! Only $5,200 a pair!"

 

Yubari melons, rare Japanese melons grown only in the town of Yubari on the northern Hokkaido island, are highly valued for their perfect proportions and taste and the first pair of the year always fetches a pretty penny at auction in Tokyo. Tokyo is Japan's most recent city to succumb to the recession, and even these prized melons drastically dropped in value. This year, this specially-grown pair of canteloupes sold for $5,200 - a steal compared to last year's price of 2.5 million yen, or $26,000. Not every melon sells for this price. In fact, many people flock to auction in hopes of having the winning bid for the first pair of the year and they are always the highest price. This year, the average melon sold for $400, down by $230 form last year's sales. Kaoru Hirano, a Yubari official, states that the drop in price is actually good for the melon industry as it will help to rebuild the economy since more will be bought at the low prices. And what on earth would Japanese want with such pricey melons? To give them as gifts in the summer, of course!

 

Pol comment: Man... and I thought my melons were expensive o_O

[Zyrshnikashnu]

Someone should plant some elsewhere. Then the price would drop and this bit of culture would be DESTROYED!

[Dunbar]

We shall smuggle them to our greenhouses