Spymaster's Report

[Justen Diablos]

Apparantly no one really uses this board.  Now most of you would say

 

"Justen, no one uses them so they should be useless to a attention seeker like yourself."

 

And you'd be correct.  I'm like a gleeman, telling tales to the largest audiences I can find.  Why waste my effort on trying to be funny in a vacuum?  It brings up the interesting riddle

 

'if Justen is amusing and no one is around to laugh will he cry himself to sleep that night?'

 

The answer is of course yes.

 

Really not much of a riddle then eh?

 

Now the rest of you, not worried about my attention seeking are probably more concerned with why I've decided to invade your tiny little corner of the universe.  Why won't I just be content with spamming random boards like the White Tower or Seanchan?  Or better yet simply staying home at the CoL boards and not bothering decent folk.  Well, I can't answer that except by saying that's just not how I roll.  

 

So since I don't have to be back to work until next monday and I have an entire week's vacation still staring me in the face I'll blow the dust off of an old tradition.

 

Spymaster's Report (Circa 3/11/08)

 

For those of you new to the Spymaster's Report I'll explain briefly.  And yes I do know how to be brief, contrary to popular belief.  I just choose not to be most times because I personally enjoy the sound of my own voice.  Or in this case, the sound of my keyboard slapping as I randomly punch in vowels and erm, not vowels (Who can't spell consenants? I can't. And it's okay to admit that in here, because technically inside these here parenthesis I'm safe.)

 

Back when I first started as a newbie in the CoL I wanted to suck up to my new Org Leader Koe while also getting the chance to be completely random and nonsensical in a moderately funny way.  Since I was the Spymaster for the Children of the Light I put together a little thing I called the Spymaster's Report which I posted on the CoL private boards every single day detailing the activities of the day before throughout DM's OOC boards.  And yes, I did have a grip of time on my hands back then. So what?

 

So what happened this weekend at DM?

 

I'll feed you baby birds.

 

At the general discussion board OzzieAlthor posted some utube links and they were probably funny.  I have this thing about clicking links in which I don't. So I don't personally gaurentee it's amusingness (totally a word) but other people checked it out and thought it was funny, so there ya go.  Darrow discussed some basic simalarities between Elder Scrolls and Wheel of Time.  Generally I fall on the side that fantasy fiction is the most inbred form of entertainment in that everyone does the same thing and uses the same phrases/characters/names as everyone else.  Finding something new is generally the biggest challenge in discovering good new fantasy fiction. *nods authoritatively*  There is also a fairly heated fiddlesticks discussion going on about post counts.  I personally think post counts are neat, but if attained through single word posts that have nothing interesting and/or funny inside they're simply not worth it.  I prefer content over quantity as a general rule.  Anyway I always like high drama, so I enjoyed the thread.

 

On to the Fiddlesticks board, because I promised I would go there and I generally keep my word in some fashion or another.  Someone posted a link to a complete version of the pirate rules.  I still don't follow links, but the couple i picked up in a later post were amusing, and I would definately encourage those who do follow links to check that out.  Most of the threads over there have been going on for a while, but they're still worthy of attention.  I can't really explain most of the threads, but I'll try.  There's a thread where each person answers the question posed above, tells a little about what they're doing, and then poses their own question.  Sounds kind of dry when I say it huh?  Mad fun though.  I read the whole thread, enjoyed it, bought the home game.  There are other fun threads in the fiddlesticks board. Also some that I feel were a complete waste of my life.  And some that were so long (over 300 pages, really?) that even your faithful spymaster refused to read.  All in all I don't think I'm really a fiddlesticks type guy (I'm silly yes, but I demand long winded posts to amuse me, single sentance posts just don't do it for me), but some of that stuff seems fun, and I encourage people to check it out to see if it's they're particular brand of tea.  

 

Wow, debates and discussions board is exactly that.  Afraid I have no desire to get caught up in political type topics.  I'm an entertainer, and have no business being involved in politics (No matter what Sean Penn may think).  And yes, I do have opinions, and am very well-versed on current events.  Just don't so much discuss them.  

 

New Members.  Morgan DF and Monique both joined up on saturday. Then never really posted again.  Morgan DF is apparantly a member of the podcast team.  Don't know what that means.  I greeted them both, as it is now a personal goal of mine to introduce myself to all new members and make them think I'm really weird.  I want the first question they ask their new friends at DM to be "Hey is there something wrong with that JD guy?  He kind of creeps me out."  That would be wonderful.

 

On the meeting boards it appears that the Europeans are gathering somewhere in Europe.  Possibly in an attempt to take over the world.  If you're in Europe and have a strong desire to take over the world you should check it out.  DragonCon also has it's own board, but nothing exciting is happening on it right now. So you can probably ignore it if you haven't already.  Come back and check on it when it's not sleeping.

 

On to the Empy Awards.  I'm a little dissapointed frankly that there's no reference to me (justen diablos) in any of the award titles.  For instance...

 

"The Justen Diablos Prince of Silly award."

 

Sounds special doesn't it? I mean if Empy really loved me as much as he claims you think he'd have immortalized me in his awards right?  I know I still have that tatoo on my left buttcheek reading simply 'Empy and JD Forever' inside a pink heart.  *nods*

 

Anyway, for those of you who want a complete list of winners you've come to the right place.

 

Empy Awards 2008

 

Most Impressive RP Organizer/Ideas Person: Matalina

Funniest Role Player: Nynaeve

Most Improved Org: Wolfkin

Most Improved Division: Children of the Light (Whoop!)

Most Impressive RP/Male: Owen

Most Impressive Overall RPer: Wintermist

Best RP Division: Congress of Shadows

Best Community Thread: BotRH 'Jak o' the Shadows'

Most Impressive RP Thread: 'Wolflover Returns Home'

Nicest Community Member: Twinflower

Funniest Community Member: Barmacral

Silliest Org Member: 12th Regiment

Best Signature Maker: Cleopatra

Evilest Person in the Community: Mystica

Most Active Community Member: Jaydena

Best Org: Band of the Red Hand

Best WoT Geek: RobertAlexWillis

Best Female Role Player: Nynaeve

 

And that's your list.  I don't really know those people that well, but I'm sure they all deserve it. If you do happen to know them, and like them preferably, go give them a congrats right quick. I'll wait.

 

*whistles softly*

 

Ya back?

 

Righto then.

 

Over at my very own Children of the Light board I'm randomly posting spam that I hope is funny and Empy is trying to bring a dead org back to life due to his fond memories of the CoL hot tub after 9pm.  Other than that the threads are always silly, always kind of funny if not hysterical, and there's no use even trying to explain it beyond that.  Although I will be posting my mini-series about Justen finding a bride this week. If I'm on point (which I rarely am) it might be funny.  Also possibly some other short stories might pop up as well.

 

The Aiel are currently being invaded by the Wolfkin.  They're holding up nicely under the onslaught of doggy spam, but I don't know how much longer they'll be able to be assaulted with chili and being licked before they have to spear someone.  It also seems Taznen is running short on candy, watch out Black Tower! They also have a thread called '50 reasons the aiel rock' that has 64 reasons on it.  It's fairly amusing but I'm doubting reason 65 will be

 

'because we can count good'

 

It might be though, who knows what those Aiel are thinking.  Right Black Tower!?

 

The Band of the Red Hand is proving why they were org of the year by having an awards ceremony.  It's pretty cool actually, and I say everyone should check it out.  I dig the certificates, awesome, way awesome.  I won't go into everyone that recieved recognition, but congrats to them and also the Band for being an org that fairly rocks.  The Wolfkin are also invading the Bands boards and having a generally good time.  Also did you know the Band greets each member as they join the org?  I think they're starting a cult over there.

 

The illuminator's board confuses me.  I don't know what they're doing and despite my best efforts (Which lasted a full three minutes) I couldn't figure it out.  I'm sure the people involved know what's going on though, and are enjoying themselves.  Also the Illuminator's are looking for a signature for their new Suras thing which will also serve as an overall Org. Sig. Nice.

 

Damn the Kin post a lot.  I mean they have a lot of recent stuff.  Alright I'll be back in a second.

 

*a second*

 

It seems they do a monthly check in, which is a good idea btw, and for this month members are asked to list their two favorite expressions.  Now I personally have many favorite expressions but currently these are my two favs.

 

That's how the kid does,

(as in, 'Hey, why'd you piss on my lawn?' "Because that's how the kid does!")

 

and

 

Go ahead, just take a hit fourth grader, nothing bad is gonna happen.

 

They're also playing a three word story game.  Which requires a whole bunch of time I would imagine.  I personally like to write my own stories all by myself, and then force others to read them and tell me how super awesome I am.  By force if necessary.

 

The Ogier are sporting a sparring match between Winds and Moose.  It seems to go against everything the peaceful Ogier stand for but it is pretty clever and I tend to like it.  They're also learning combat moves for some reason and discussing really disturbing philosophical questions.  All in all I dig it.  And By the by the Ogier have a new Org Leader. Kelly Sedai. So Huzzah.

 

Over to the Seanchan Org.  Here are some of the topics they're discussing...

 

X-Box plans to possibly add a Blue-Ray drive

The Cast of Stardust (Claire Danes included, whom I love more than life itself)

Apple is planning to enter the handheld gaming market

Major changes to the TV shows 'Who' and 'Torchwood'

New Photos of Characters from the upcoming movie Watchman

 

And as always the basic what's on T.V. what's in theatres stuff.  I generally find most of these threads packed with interesting tidbits, so they're definately worth a go.

 

Really Shayol Ghul? Really?

 

*walks off muttering to himself about good intentions gone horribly wrong*

 

Yeah so SG is really active.  The entire first page has threads that were posted on today.  Really? Is that strictly necessary SG?  *shakes a fist*  

 

Far Dareis Mai is starting a new medieval mafia game.  If you're interested go

 

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,28357.msg728300.html#msg728300

 

to sign up.

 

Now I have no idea what the mafia game is, so I won't comment.  

 

Um, most of the Shayol Ghul stuff is either incredibly silly or them venting about how bad they need a new Org. Leader.  The silly stuff is great, I didn't realize darkfriends could be that funny, the Org Leader stuff is a bit over dramatic.  I mean everyone knows Org Leaders are supposed to be inactive. It's where good members go to retire.  Except Kat and Empy, who just won't go away for some reason.  I'm not saying other Org leaders are inactive. I'm just saying they're not inactive yet. Give em time.  Kat and Emp are freaks of nature.  Good luck to all that are currently attempting to join their elite group.

 

Over at the White Tower I've been making mischief for the past week, and as I'm not going to sit here and talk about how funny I am I'll just say that I'm funny, you should check it out.  I wrote stories and stuff. Funny stories. Would I lie to you?  

 

Finally, the Wolfkin org.  They're also very active, including adding what appears to be 4 new members to their org recently.  I'm not going to talk a lot about the wolfies and I think now would be a good idea to discuss the way I went about doing this.  Back in the olden days, when I did this before threads were generally not that long.  15 posts was considered a lengthy thread.  Now when I check the boards it's not unusual for me to see posts that are hundreds of pages long and while they're currently being posted on they started back in 1984.  I simply don't have that kind of time or desire to drive myself to suicide to comment on it.  I assume the people involved in the threads are up to date on them, and they know exactly what's going on in them. The rest of us probably don't need to.  Anyway that's definately a logistical problem as far as my Spymaster Report goes. That and the amount of time that goes into it.  I'm glad I did it back in the day when I did.  It was a simpler time, and more suited to a simple spymaster.  Now a days ya'll are just crazy.

 

Which I also enjoy.

 

JD,

Former Spymaster for the Children of the Light.

 

And yes I did check the BT board too.  Rune posted over the weekend, which I was stoked about.  *Loves Rune*

[JenniferL]

Oh god, how I've missed this.

[Haxorsist]

This is great. I'm hoping this will become a regular thing. As regular as Maj's farts.

[Jelly]

Wonderful! ;D *applauds*

[Kaznen]

It also seems Taznen is running short on candy, watch out Black Tower!

 

*Aiel kicks Justen Diablos to the ground and startes punching his head*

 

It's spelled with a "K"!

[Alys Kinch]

you know, justen, you should join anyway and entertain us with your amusing rambles. all of our ramblers are mia, and we need new ones. :P