History Lesson #2

[Justen Diablos]

"Justen?!" Yveva screamed.  Too late, even as she opened her mouth to voice her warning Justen was attacked by three members of the Black Tower.  Men who hated him because he had wit, intelligence, and charm while they had... um, none of those things.

 

Even without a warning Justen whirled expertly into a spinning kick that caught the first Asha'man in the chest, dropping him to the ground.  The second of the attackers, caught off guard by his comrade in arms falling directly in front of him, had his progress halted just long enough for him to be unable to stop the CoL Spymaster from completing his manuever and striking the third man in the face with a rapid left, right, fist combo.  Rather than rush in and face him man to man the Asha'man that remained standing backed off and raised his arm in a dramatic gesture.

 

"Die Whitecloak!"  With that a liquid white streak of fire burst from his open fingertips and extended toward Justen, finishing the Prince of Silly forever.

 

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Screamed Yveva.

 

__________________________________________________

 

 

Yveva woke with a start.

 

Yvevy:    Oh, it was just a dream, thank goodness.  Oh dear, my nightshift is completely soaked.  As it is every night.  Maybe if someone invented some air conditioners the women of this realm wouldn't be plauged by this horrible problem.

 

But that was someone else's concern.  For she was Yvevy the Mischievious, and all she had to worry about was being cute and adorable, which she did extremely well. 

 

Stripping off her sodden shift she began to search around for something to wear.  She couldn't go back to sleep after such a horrible nightmare, and even if she did it was always possible she'd have that dream again.  The one where she married an ego-maniacal emperor of a far off land who used the power of his chair to enslave members of his country into some odd cult in which they worshiped those who didn't bathe.  It wasn't so much a nightmare as a premonition of dhooooooom. And yes extra o's were necessary in that word, for this is the story of Yveva, and her awesomeness extends everywhere, even into the narration.

 

Yveva chose out a brown dress and shawl, because she actually just had only that one dress.  She had twenty of them, so it wasn't like she wore the same thing every single day, but they were all exactly the same.  And yes, they were all Super Duper Yvevy Awesome.

 

Yveva looked at her list of things to do for the day, as she did every morning upon wakening.

 

1. Feed her kittens

2. take a walk in the gardens

3. do a kind thing for an old person.

4. bake cookies for the rest of the Brown Ajah.

5. Giggle at least three times.

6. At 3pm sell crack to the novices in the west garden.

7. paint a beautiful picture.

8. find a chipmunk and admire it's spirit.

9. Give a random person a hug.

10. Destroy the Brown Ajah and everything it stands for.

 

Yveva Ponders this for a moment.

 

Yvevy:    hum. I don't remember that last being on there.

 

Deep Voice:    That's because I placed it there.

 

Yveva:    Ack! Joram! How long have you been there Joey?

 

Joram:    Um, well, er. I just got here. *puts away his video camera* I certainly haven't been here all night, nor do I plan to put any unauthorized videos I may have recorded on my website BrownAjahFetish.com Though even if I did no one would see it.  Except that one guy JDCOL. He's always on for some reason, even sends me a check every month to keep the site going.

 

Yvevy:    hmmmmm, okay then, I'll take your word for it.

 

And indeed she seemed to mean what she said.  Of course that was no surprise, since Yveva was indeed the sweetest and kindliest of all of DM.

 

Yvevy:    So what can I help you with Joey?

 

Koe:    Actually I'm the one who needs help.

 

Yvevy:    Koey! Oh my goodness Koey and Joey together. It's been too long since I've seen you.  What can I do to help?

 

Yveva giggled as she finished, and then mentally marked off one giggle on her list of things to do. Just two more to go she noted to herself in italics so that the reader could distinguish between narration and character thought.

 

Koe:    Well now as to that.  You see, I've discovered that Paityr, Steel Blade, and Rico are attempting to overthrow my rule of the CoL and place my Wonder Hamster Justen in charge.  I have Elriond's assistance and currently Firamar is distracted by his girlfriend who won't let him join the civil war until he does some chores around the house. The only problem is Diablos himself.  I don't know which way he'll jump.  So what I need you to do is make an attempt to destroy the Brown Ajah. He'll come running if his precious Browns are in trouble. *nods proudly*

 

Yvevy:    Destroy the Browns? No! I can't! I Willn't!

 

Joram:    Um, Willn't?

 

Yvevy:    Yeah it's a contraction of will not. *nods cutely*

 

Joram:    I don't think that's a word.

 

Yvevy:    But it must be! I'm super duper excited about it. And if it's not a word I'll be muchly sad.

 

At the end Yveva bats her eyelashes and pouts her lips, causing Joram to break down.

 

Joram:    Okay, stop! You're cuteness is too great. Now, will you assist us.

 

Yvevy:    But I can't. I refuse n' stuff. I'll bake cookies though if you want. It'll make you feel joy joy happy!

 

Joram and Koe share a look, as if they knew it would come to this and dreaded it while at the same time they were prepared to do whatever it took.  Or they just ate breakfast at the I-Hop and were about to toss up all over the place.  Those looks are actually very similar. You'd be surprised I'd wager. If, that is, as narrator I was allowed to wager. But then again I'm not allowed to address you directly and guess what? Doing it. Take that John Grisham! Watch me urinate all over proper literary style.  My prose is too sick to be constrained by such trifling things as norms and established rules.

 

Before Yveva can go bake cookies Joram grabs her up and kidnaps her, because that's what Joey and Koey do.  Yveva giggles, because she's not used to the feel of ogier fur and it's very tickley.  Even through her fear she manages to mentally mark off her second giggle for the day. One more, I'm two thirds of the way there n' stuff. Huzzah! Oh, and eeeeeeep! I'm scared.

 

(We now have a scene change.)

 

Koe's Secret Hideout.

 

Koe:    Sorry Yveva for the kidnapping, and for the smell by the way. Paityr was using this place for a while, you know how bad he smells.

 

Yvevy:    S'okay Koey, you know I couldn't ever be mad at you. You're my super duper favorite Org Leader named Koe.

 

Koe:    Awwwww. thanks.

 

Joram:    Enough, we must convert her to evil so that she'll undertake this plan.

 

Koe:    Righto. But are you sure our Dark Power Machine will work?

 

Joram:    Not entirely, that's why we're going to test it first.

 

It's then that Yveva notices she's not the only captive of Koey and Joey. There is another young man who looks slightly Californian to her eye.  Young and handsome, with a bright spirit.

 

Yveva:    *Whispering* I'm Yvevy, of the Browns. Whom might you be?

 

The Stranger:    They call me Don, I'm a younger member of Shayol Ghul, but I'm thinking of renouncing my evil ways and becoming a belly dancer.

 

Yveva:    oooooh, sounds like fun. eeeeeeeeep!

 

And the eeeeeeeep was indeed waranted, as Joram had come upon their conversation and grabbed Don by the neck.

 

Joram:    You first boy. We need to make sure it works before we test it on Yveva.  I'll never be able to live with myself if I destroy her super cuteness.

 

With that Joram tosses Don into what appears to be an angreal.  The young man twists and turns in seeming agony for about 33 and one half seconds. But really, who's counting.  Then the angreal shuts down and the boy is dumped forward.

 

He takes a step forward, looking unharmed.  His looks have matured, if anything he's even more handsome (Not to mention his calves, which have filled in nicely).  His lips are turned up in a smirk, as if he see's something darkly funny in everything.  There is a palpable presence of evil in the room as he speaks.

 

Don:    I AM THE DON!

 

Koe:    Whoop! It worked!

 

The Don:    If you two are done I think I'll go mock newbies, make warder trainee's cry, and tell Paityr how stupid he is.  In no particular order.

 

Joram:    By all means.

 

With that The Don leaves, set to plauge DM off and on forever with his sillyness and overall quick wit.  Not to mention evil.  After he leaves Joey and Koey focus all their attention on Yvevy.

 

Koe:    I am sorry Yveva, but this is necessary.

 

Joram and Koe then wait as Yveva wonders what's going to happen next.

 

Joram:    Well?

 

Yvevy:    What?

 

Joram:    You know.

 

Yvevy:    ?Que?

 

Joram:    You have to go into the Angreal... erm, all natural.

 

Yvevy:    But Don didn't have too! *pouts*

 

Joram:    Yeah but he was a dude.

 

Yvevy:    I don't see how that makes a difference.

 

Koe:    Well, if you'll notice in the books it's generally true that whenever a guy goes through some sort of right of passage involving the power he's fully clothed; whereas the women are always nude.  The most clear instance of this is when Rand and Mat are allowed to enter Rhuidien (forgot how to spell that) fully clothed, while the women folk are forced to enter nude. But that's just one example. Read the books thoroughly, nudity is very prevelant, in women anyway. The dudes always have clothes. So you see, I'm just following the books, because if I don't Serafelle will yell at me.  She takes her role as Incarn very seriously.

 

Yvevy, takes in that explanation and ponders seriously, while at the same time maintaining a cute expression.  She finally brightens up.

 

Yveva:    Okey Dokey. But you're both going to wait outside.

 

Koey and Joey Simultaniously:    Awwwww Yvevy!

 

The two leave. Yveva waits.

 

And continues waiting.

 

Yvevy:    That means you too reader.

 

Damn, she caught me. Guess I'll go out and wait with Joey and Koey.

 

_______________________________________

 

(Outside)

 

Joey and Koey appear to playing paper rock scissors.

 

The Door to Koe's Secret Hideout opens and out steps a beautiful women in a dark dress, maybe black, perhaps a dark blue. Not really sure, in any case her face is an exotic mix of emotion. Not only is the cuteness and super duper sweetness there, there is also a darkness there. A cute darkness, but still a darkness.

 

Yvevy:    I. AM. YVEVIL!

 

Yvevil:    MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

The End.

 

JD,

Historian.

 

For more Brown Ajah stories or to find out what happened next you'll have to check out the assembled tales of the wonderous tales of the Brown Ajah, as told by Justen Diablos.  But since I haven't written them I guess you'll just have to imagine what happened next if and until I do.  Or you could just ask Yveva how she came back to the light.

 

If, that is, she did.

 

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[The Don]

this story is much better. Paityr is so stupid.

[Raeyn]

So that's where your super-powers came from *grins*

[Illiara]

Oh, I love it!  Keep going...

[Wayward_fool]

*bounces a bit*

 

That was nice... but I'm more excited about THE NEXT ONE!!!

 

How come Donito got to appear first huh? HUH? *sniffs*

 

*sits around waiting for his cameo*

[Barmacral]

They made lil'bit evil? Well that certainly explains things.

[The Don]

yup, now the secret origin of my super-powers is out

[Raeyn]

More stories, they say?  More stories can be provided:

 

http://www.angelfire.com/ky/blackthorne

http://www.angelfire.com/hi4/DMHistory/

 

<3

[Justen Diablos]

Wow, I actually sent you a story about my first days huh? That must have been a while ago. Too bad I didn't know you were collecting silly stories back then, because I wrote a few. I'm still looking for my Age of Legends High stories I wrote right before I left.

 

*looks underneath a sleeping Blue*

 

Nope, not under there.

 

JD,

CoL Spymaster (Yeah I'll claim the title, cuz who's gonna stop me? MWAHAHA)

[Raeyn]

The link, at least, is still on the Library.  And though I've not updated it in years, I do make sure it stays alive so I can share that goodness.

 

Raeyn Sedai

Mistress of the Library ('cause if we're claiming old titles here.. heheh <3)

 

 

[JenniferL]

Yay! Janet's archive is still up! I tried to find it the other night and I couldn't and it made me sad.

[Jhaenara]

Sheesh, almost any story I'm in on Blackthorne's site, I'm in the Closet®... hahaa...  my poor reputation... 

 

Okay, yeah, who am I kidding...  :P  ;)

[JenniferL]

"And that is why the sock came first. Any questions?"

 

"None from me," said Kalysta. "I’m sold."

 

"Yes," said Dazzle. "Your logic is impeccable, Mr. Spock. Absolutely impeccable."

 

"Um. What’s going on here?" said Lone Wolf.

 

"This is Mr. Spock. We’ve been discussing logic. He’s really good at it too."

 

"Um, okay. Sounds great."

 

"Yeah, he’s also got this great neck pinching trick too. Go ahead and show him, Spock."

 

"I am not sure that’s a good idea."

 

"Oh please!" begged Dazzle. "It's so cool!"

 

"Well, okay." he said. "Hold still, Lone Wolf. It will only hurt for a minute." He reached out for his neck.

 

"Hey! Wait a --" With a soft thud, he collapsed on the ground.

 

The White sisters applauded enthusiastically.

 

"That was so cool!" said Dazzle.

 

"Yeah, let's go show Serguent. I bet he’d really like it." said Kalysta.

 

As they walked away, Lone Wolf twitched slightly on the ground.

 

Please note here, that I am too busy abusing my ex-boyfriend to bother spelling tha man of the man I eventually married correctly. Segurant brings this up frequently when he's feeling ignored.

[Paityr]

this story is much better. Paityr is so stupid.

 

So's your face!

 

:P

 

I love that comeback.  ;D

[The Don]

your mom loves that comeback  ;D

[JenniferL]

Yeah, that's what she said!!!

[Paityr]

So's your face!

[JenniferL]

Yeah, that's what she said!!

[Paityr]

That doesn't even make sense.

[Raeyn]

*points to Kathana*  That's what she said!

 

*goes back to plotting pudding-related deaths*

[Yveva]

hee hee h...AHAHAHAHAMWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

 

and every word of it true.

 

ps.  I just discovered that Koe has the same email address as he used to have.  we should all email him *weg*

[Paityr]

Mmmmmmmmm....Koey.

 

He was my first org leader, you know.

 

*nods*

 

They say you never forget your first.

[Wayward_fool]

That's what she said!

 

Sorry. *is a little behind*

[Paityr]

YOU'RE a little behind!

 

Oh, wait...you already said that.

 

:-\

[Jhaenara]

Well, you're a BIG behind!  (____i____)

 

Yeah, I said it...