How do we remember those who've passed?

[Elgee]

There are many cultures in the world, and many ways to remember those who've passed on.

 

How do you remember? Do you follow the traditional way of your culture or religion, or have you developed something of your own? Please share with us here.

[Elgee]

In our smaller family group we have actually decided to rather celebrate the birth of those who have passed, than remembering the day of their death. In a way it makes us feel closer to them, because we remember them as they were when still alive - it's a happy memory, rather than a grieving one.

 

It actually started with the death of our 1 sister, Caren. She lived in a town quite far from us, whereas we other 4 all live within about 15km from each other. The 4 of us and our mum used to get together for coffee and cake on Caren's birthday, and we'd phone her from where-ever we were to group chat. After she passed, we continued getting together for cake and coffee. We send photos to her son, and he seems to find it therapeutic.

We now do this for all our passed loved ones.

 

[SinisterDeath]

Growing up, every summer my mother would plant a Garden.

After we moved from that rural area to "the city", she had to give up gardening, and even most of her house plants.

 

During her final year, the landlord offered to till some of his yard that spring and offered her some of that space to plant a garden, and she was thrilled. She passed before she could even get her hands in the dirt.

Every year since, I've gardened in one way or another. It's one of the ways I remember her.

Another way I remember her, is simply looking at something she made; The image below is something she made that others from around the country, see daily.

 

Years ago, she got into wood burning and inking, and used her skills to create the image on this door, that a restaurant called "Spanky's Stone Hearth" commissioned her to make.

[LilyElizabeth]

I don't do anything special to remember my parents. If I see something that I'd like to be able to tell them about, it makes me smile, but that's about it. I do believe that they are together now, after 20 years apart after my father died. He waited a long time for Mom to join him. I'm so happy for them now!

 

[Cross]

similar to sinister, sis and i've taken to the gardening of the house which my mom loved and was unable to do in the last couple years of her life. not only that but we've all begun updating the house. it's been decades since new paint and furniture and the like, and mom loved this house, she was so proud to leave it as an inheritance to me and sis, and would have loved to see us put our stamps on it. 

 

we've visited her grave a couple of times, its not something our family usually does, as she always said 'they arent there anymore.' and yeah we know that, but with mom, it feels different, like a last close physical link more than anything spiritual. 

 

beyond that, she's always on my mind, in the things i do i do in hopes she'd be proud. her memories are all over the house. 

 

i suppose the biggest way we remember her is in the way in which we live our lives, our Faith, our morality. being the people she raised us to be. 

[Elgee]

On 4/7/2023 at 4:49 PM, SinisterDeath said:

 

Years ago, she got into wood burning and inking, and used her skills to create the image on this door, that a restaurant called "Spanky's Stone Hearth" commissioned her to make.

 

How beautiful! That must be such a wonderful way to remember her, SD 🙂

 

You've reminded me now of the tapestry my mom made, from wool which she sheared herself from our own sheep, then dyed with natural things like Rooibos tea. I was pre-school then, and used to go sit with her at Mrs Scott's house (her weaving teacher)  in Hout Bay.

I met Mrs Scott's son, Jamie, there a few times (he didn't go to the same school as me) - he was such a beautiful boy! I had a total crush on him.

40 years later, he walked into my office in a totally different area from where we grew up, and asked me to rent out his house. I didn't recognise him at all, only his name. He'd gotten in with a bad crowd and became an alcoholic and drug addict. So sad.

So many memories from one little thing, heh?

[Elgee]

On 4/8/2023 at 3:25 AM, LilyElizabeth said:

If I see something that I'd like to be able to tell them about, it makes me smile,

 

It's wonderful that it makes you smile, Lily! That is precious *hugs*

[Elgee]

21 hours ago, Cross said:

similar to sinister, sis and i've taken to the gardening of the house which my mom loved and was unable to do in the last couple years of her life. not only that but we've all begun updating the house.

 

That is such a positive way to remember and honour a loved one. Especially gardening, which can only improve the state of our planet!