Wish Master

[thehumantrashcan]

Granted!  But now your area has a drought.

 

I wish I could visit the set of WoT season 2.

[Canukistani]

Granted!  Unfortuantly you get food poisoning and spend the entire time in the bathroom.

I wish i didn't have to go to work tonight

[thehumantrashcan]

Granted!  But it's because you've been let go.

 

I wish teachers didn't have to pay for their required continued education.

[Delirium]

Granted!  Free courses on 20th century telegraph poles and Hammond Organ music for all!

 

I wish we could all party like it was 1999 (again!) 

[SinisterDeath]

Granted. But you repeat the next 22 years exactly the same, aware of everything that's going to happen but unable to change a thing.

 

I wish for a working time machine.

[Delirium]

Granted.  But it is the size of a thimble and you must be fully inside it to time travel.

 

I wish I knew the ultimate question.

[Canukistani]

Granted!  The answer is 42.

I wish I had a horse riding a pogo stick while dressed in a clown outfit

[ArrylT]

Granted!   

 

But this wish will only arrive after you have watched the entire Wheel of Time TV series (8 seasons) 13x backwards while wearing authentic Two Rivers clothing.

 

I wish I could sing like Thom Merrilin.

Edited December 9, 2021 by ArrylT
clarification and added wish

[SinisterDeath]

Granted. Now Thom has no voice to sing with.

 

I wish Facebook would shut down and never turn back on. 

 

[thehumantrashcan]

Granted but now there's this thing called Meta.

 

I wish to not wake up tonight until my alarm goes off.

[Canukistani]

Granted!  You accidentally set your alarm 12hrs later than you needed.

I wish i could eat carby sugary treats before bed.

[SableSage]

Granted, you have a new cavity in the morning.

 

I wish there were more hours in a day.

[ArrylT]

Granted.   Hours are now minutes and minutes are now hours.  So each hour is 60 seconds long and every minute is 60 hours long.

 

I wish I was at a party with Robert Jordan, JRR Tolkien and Jules Vernes.

 

 

[thehumantrashcan]

Granted, it's with their corpses.

 

I wish I could find my copy of the EotW.

[whiskey delta]

Granted but it’s in another language

 

I wish my dogs could talk

Edited December 13, 2021 by DELTA

[SinisterDeath]

Granted, now like toddlers they won't quit talking about that squirrel they saw that one time.

 

I wish I had a puppy.

[Canukistani]

Granted, now like a toddler, it won't quit talking about that squirrel it saw that one time.

I wish I was peacefully asleep right now

[ArrylT]

Granted, but it is because you are in a dreamless Coma until the end of Wheel of Time S2

 

I wish Iron Maiden would write a song that is all about WOT

Edited December 13, 2021 by ArrylT

[Canukistani]

Granted!  Hope you like World of Tanks.

I wish I had instant perfect temperature hot food

[thehumantrashcan]

Granted but it only lasts one bite then it's cold by the second.

 

I wish I wasn't tired all the time.

 

 

[SinisterDeath]

Granted, your now only tired for 23 hours, 59 minutes and 59 seconds every day.

 

I wish Jalapenos weren't so randomly hot or mild and and one consistent level of heat.

[ArrylT]

Granted,  now they will always be so hot they will melt your teeth.

 

I wish thehumantrashcan would tell us their favorite story involving Bert & Ernie.

[Canukistani]

Granted!   The story is rated XXX and is behind a paywall.

I wish thehumantrashcan would tell the XXX Bert & Ernie story

[whiskey delta]

Granted but ban hammers all around

 

I wish breakfast cooked itself 

[ArrylT]

Granted, but it also eats itself (like the great serpent).

 

I wish that I knew what to wish for.