Wish Master

[Arie]

Granted, but the money goes to an off shore account that gets robbed by russian hackers.

 

I wish mornings were easier.

[SinisterDeath]

Granted.  Mornings no longer exist.

 

I wish toddlers weren't so destructive.

[Arie]

Granted, but now you have an instant-teenager for life.

 

I wish my my children could just get along when they have friends over.

[SinisterDeath]

Granted, now the friends don't get along when they're over.

 

I wish the toddles weren't hungry every 5 minutes.

[Arie]

Granted, now they are hungry every 6 minutes.

 

I wish allergies weren't a thing

[SinisterDeath]

Granted. Now Pollen is the size of a car, and literally hunts you.

 

I wish @thehumantrashcan would post more wishes.

[Arie]

ouch. XD 

 

Granted, but they aren't PG-13 so we have to hide them all.

 

I wish I could take on my old post count numbers...

[thehumantrashcan]

Granted but every time you post that number goes down.

 

I wish $%@*<÷ *$%@# *$&#@*#%@ *#&@%#%.

 

Shucks they are censored.

[Canukistani]

Granted, but now you can only speak in BEEEEEP and type in %$^@#^&

I wish for more salad

[SinisterDeath]

Granted, now salad is 1000 calories an ounce. Beef prices plummet due less feed required. Cow population quadruples, and cow farts now warm the earth up 150x faster.

I wish every steak I eat is better then the last.
 

[Arie]

Granted, but each time the steak gets smaller and smaller.

 

I wish for more coffee

[Canukistani]

Granted.  The skies cloud over and coffee rains down.  The coffee rain continues for 20 days and 50 nights flooding Arie's home, and only Arie's home.

I wish for more podcasts

[SinisterDeath]

Granted. But they all suck.

 

I wish Facebook ceased to exist.

[Arie]

Granted, but all the trolls found Dragonmount. 

 

I wish for a grilled cheese.

[SinisterDeath]

lol Balefire goes brrrrrr

Granted. Except it's one of those school grilled cheese sandwhiches made in the oven that you chip a tooth on.

I wish I didn't need caffeine to exist. 

[thehumantrashcan]

Granted, but now caffeine doesn't exist and you're to blame.

 

I wish the Seahawks didn't stink so much this year.

[SinisterDeath]

Granted, now they smell like tide.

 

I wish my QB for Washington gets 4TDs.

[thehumantrashcan]

Granted but he also get's 4 pick 6s.

 

I wish to get all my work done in the next hour.

[SinisterDeath]

Granted. But 5 minutes after getting it done, your workload exploded and now you have 60 hours of work, all due by the end of the day.

 

I wish our there were 30 hours in a day instead of 24.

[Canukistani]

Granted!  But now the earth has stopped rotating and all life either burns off or freezes

I wish the Wheel of Time show had infinity of money

[SinisterDeath]

Granted. Now the show never releases because everyone's gone full gluttony and party all the time.

I wish we could have our cake, and eat it to.

[Canukistani]

Granted!  The cake is made of poop.

I wish I could come up with a clever wish!

[SinisterDeath]

Granted, but you immediately forget what it was.

 

I wish I had a better short term memory.

[Arie]

Granted, but now every song you hear is on repeat constantly until the next one is heard.

 

I wish I had dinner, that I didn't have to make, that is just good food.

[SinisterDeath]

Granted. You get one bite and the whole meal disappears.

 

I wish the person below me gets my snow.