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DM Week 1 Fantasy Recap

Justen Diablos

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As many of you know I,(your boy) JD, from time to time (read: whenever I actually win) do a recap of the weekly goings on (don't forget happenings) of our local fantasy football league (complete with an inordinate amount of parentheticals). Today will prove to be one of those times (Because as those in the know know, I am the newly minted owner of a slightly used (mostly some rear end damage over the weekend) Hax (canadian model, but what are you gonna do?). So, shedding all my asides lets move into the recap.


Week 1, DM Fantasy league.


Some new things to point out to some of my league mates before we move on. Some things I just noticed about the Yahoo league this year is we have some sort of pick' em option. We've always had this pick'em option, except now it seems to run a sort of points tally throughout the season giving those who make the best picks the opportunity to gloat. If you're looking for this handy feature it's under the league tab and all the way over at the far right under the subtab league pick'em. Now as of yet this hasn't updated to reflect actual winners and points yet but from a cursory glance it appears that only myself and one other person even bothered to make a prediction on all six games, while two teams (password is taco, Original sin) just made the bold move of picking their own team. boooo...hissssss. It's kind of a cool option and it gives folks like me who don't ever win the league a chance to win at something else, and retain some small bit of my masculinity. So hey everyone, go pick every game this next week and make this competitive.


The second new thing I noticed (It's possible neither of these are actually new and I'm just noticing them for the first time this year) was that if you go to the matchup tab there's actually a 'last week's recap' subtab you can click on that will take you to a computer generated recap of your last week's game. It's entertaining, and you have the option to read the recap for all of last weeks games. So if you want to do that rather than what we're doing right here, feel free. Otherwise...



Hax's Hussies vs. Team Diablos.


This was actually one of the more boring games of the week. On Wednesday both teams kicked off fairly well with Demarco Murray (Team Diablos) putting up 15 points on a stout effort only to be matched by Miles Austin (One of the afformentioned Hussies) rebutting with 13.3 of his own. The early games Sunday continued to go well for both of us, I had Maclin put up 15, Aaron Hernandez put up 12, the Eagles D came through with 18 and we were led by strong performances by ARod 28, and Matt Bryant 17 (from a kicker baby). Hax answered with Andre Johnson 19 and the still strong but getting weaker by the moment due to his devilry and refusal to eat meat Arian Foster 19. Roy Helu let him down with only 3 points or something but someday our young Canadian hero Haxorbarm will learn why us Americans don't grab Shanahan backs until after week one at the earliest. On paper this game was still close though until Sunday afternoon when the Packers/Niners game left Hax (Crosby 2 points, 49ers Dfence 9 points) significantly behind going into Monday (Something like 60 points). P Rivers did give Hax a good night, whilst Antonio Gates was all old and stuff, but I can't imagine it mattered at that point anyway. Final Score


Diablos 123, Hax 86 in what was the biggest margin of victory for the week.


Going into next week Team Diablos was all over the free agent wire Monday scrounging and I did manage to pick up C.J. Spiller before F Jax had even been helped off the field, so he'll end up getting the start going forward over Marshawn Lynch (not mentioned). Hax's stable of Hussies will also be significantly stronger next week with the return of both Ryan Matthews and Kenny Brit (who I really wanted and he stole from me). Not sure Brit will get the start though because Hax's recievers (A Johnson and Austin) actually had pretty exemplary games. Always nice to have a deep recieving corps.




Newton's Law vs. Kiki's Yes Dancers


To start, Newton's Law is a team run by Empy's brother. At the start of every season I look at his team and can't imagine a scenario in which he doesn't win the Championship. I feel he drafts well every year. Now since I myself never win a championship it stands to reason that I have no idea how to draft properly, so Empy's bro might also have that same malady. In any case. He never wins either. Take that for what it's worth. This was by the way the highest scoring game of the week, and the loser of this game put up the third highest score of the week (meaning he beats any team out there but this one, and of course the great Team Diablos). But on with the recap. Again, Newton's law just drafted well. Megatron (1st round pick) put up a dozen while the Superstar Jimmy Graham (2nd round pick) lifted 14. Sproles added 14, Gostkowski kicked for 10 more and Matty Ice added 40 (he'll do that all year btw, best pick of the draft imo) giving Newton a huge early point total. The only miss of the week was RB Trent Richardson who only scrounged together 4 points (he'll also do that all year btw, and was a horrible pick (as were any Cle Browns selections made this year (or ever))). Kiki has a few prime Yes Dancers though as well. Vick actually put up a respectful 22 points, K. Smith 21, M. Forte 18 (that's just good solid RB play) and the Texans Defense added another 20. Helping to put Kiki in the lead (by about 17 points) going into Monday Night Football. The only starter for either team that fateful Monday night was the Baltimore Ravens Defense playing for team Law. You saw the Ed Reed touchdown, and even if you didn't Baltimore Raven's defense wins championships (ask Trent Dilfer) Final score


Newton's Law 130, Kiki's Yes Dancers 121.


Going forward Newton's Law is a strong team, but it should continue to have RB troubles. Sproles will be fine of course but TRich will face Cincy next week (They are good, despite the Baltimore beat down) and I can't imagine the Browns not sucking (ever). His back ups are even more pedestrian. I watched the Pittsburgh game and I don't even recall seeing Redmon, though apparantly he managed to rack up 27 total yards. And Isiah Pead didn't get a touch for the rams (minus 25 yards returning kicks) as SJax continues to get all the carries in the STL (maybe if Jackson got injured...meh). Kiki is a strong team going forward as well. Vick had a horrible day against the Browns but was still a decent fantasy play (he does that) and if Kiki wants to pull him RGIII is ready and waiting to step in. MJD is also waiting in the wings on this loaded team, probably until Kevin Smith breaks something, though with 3 strong backs Kiki is more that capable of playing match up Fantasy football for the next couple weeks. TE would be the only weekness, but really, who cares about TE's?





Password is Taco vs. Seggie's Pandas


This could have been the game of the week, even though it was low scoring (the game of the week was also low scoring, the game of the week should have been Newton v. Kiki but ah well), but I chose a different game of the week, for various reasons of my own. This game was bad. Empy's squad (the Password is Taco team this year) is the opposite of his brothers for me. It always seems a touch rough in the beginning, always seems to play really badly really early. And yet Empy continues to win championships and compete for championships. He's probably using his commish status on the sly to affect games. I just haven't figured out how yet. In any case he did have a few bright spots. Drew Brees went for 29, the Packer D went for 18 and Reggie Bush scored 11. On the flip side Eric Decker, Greg Jennings, Matt Prater, and Dwayne Bowe all scored 5 points. There's some excuse for the kicker I guess, and the rest are WR's, though why anyone would start a WR in a WR/RB flex spot I'll never know. Ah the mysteries of champions are beyond such as myself I guess. In any case his meager offerings weren't much matched by Seggie. Brandon Marshal (go Bears!!!!) scored 19 Eli Manning 15, and the Pats Defense(?) rattled home 20. Unfortunately the Burner (M. Turner) let him down with a low 3 points as Matt Ryan was obsessed with the pass and VJax couldn't put together a great game in his TB opener as he only provided 4. Still the Pandas were but 10 points down going into Monday Night with AJ Green set to run. It seemed almost unavoidable that gap would close quickly and decisively in favor of our favorite WoT character (aside from Kathana). It didn't. AJ stalled at 7 points and Empy eaked out a win


Password is Taco 85, Seggie's Pandas 82.


Going forward Empy does have AP (Adrian Peterson) on his bench, so maybe this week he'll find it in his heart to give him the nod ahead of Eric Decker since he did manage 20 points this week. Of course that will leave the Law Firm, Benjarvis Green Ellis on the bench another week despite putting up a healthy 15 points this week. Password is Taco might have to curb it's WR loving ways to a slightly more traditional 'we start running backs' formula if it wants to continue to win. Though whatever he does I have faith Empy will put the Taco in the championships while I lose a valiant struggle in the 5th place game. Damn Empy. On the Flip side the Pandas should also be better next week. Eli had a down day, Witten will be back to fantasy relevance after his spleen unlacerates and for a team that starts 3 WRs I like Seg's WRs. AJ Green is a monster, Brandon Marshal should have a huge year, and I have a hard time seeing VJax kept down forever. We'll have to wait and see.




Boyo's Soy Bombers vs. Complete Desailation (not sure what that's a refence to)


It is my understanding that team CD is in the hands of a female owner. nice....




For Boyo it was just bad. Start/finish/middle. Bad. I guess that might be too harsh. Jeremichael Finley scored 10, Stevie Johnson scored 11, and Shonn Green put up 15. All acceptable. But when Fred Jackson (I'm pretty sure he died) and the Buffalo defense (absolutely positive they died) put up a combined score of less than 3...you're going to lose fantasy games...to a girl. Though pretty much anyone that started Peyton Manning 26, and Ray Rice 21 would have trounced the Boyo this past weekend.


Complete Desailation 92, Boyo's Soy Bombers 69 (dude)


Next week Boyo will hopefully be better if Cam Newton and Victor Cruz can put forward a couple of fantasy relevant days and S. Johnson, J. Finley, and S. Greene can continue to play well. Probably should upgrade on defense before even finishing reading this sentence (seriously Soy, they got abused by Mark Sanchez...abused), and I can't fully endorse Michael Crabtree starting in any fantasy league game (or any flag football or pop warner game) so you need to go ahead and fix that. For team CD the future looks bright. Peyton had a good game, Ray Rice is a beast, Jamaal Charles didn't break anything, Fitzy is one of the best recievers in the league (Kolb I guess will be QB) and Reggie Wayne had a good day and looks like a safer bet that 'how many drops is that today?' Marques Colston. In any case, good times. And Soy got beat by a girl...I think. I actually don't know who a quarter of the people in this league are. Like that Panda kid...what's his deal?





Kynwric's Ghosts vs. Pandamonium


Speaking of that Panda kid (segways bro, segways) he has a team, and they played. That's all I got left. I sometimes forget how long winded I am when I start these recaps. I think that's why I don't do them except four or five times a year. Anyway, Pandamonium. Yet another team starting a WR in the WR/RB flex spot. Did I miss a memo? Is this okay now? Bah, Bah I say, the kids and their newfangled fantasy strats. Tom Brady 22 and Percy Harvin 12, did alright, as did Jordy Nelson and Dez Bryant, who both put up 8 points. CJY1K is looking less and less impressive as the years plow on, scoring only 5 points. For Kyn Julio Jones scored 24 fantasy points (Julio is a gifted young man), whilst Stafford added 16 and the ageless Tony Gonzalez grabbed 11. Running backs (and there were 2 of them) SJax and Willis McGahee were relatively unimpressive (should have started a WR) combining for 14 points. The real fascinating part of this matchup was in the Monday Night element. Going into Monday night Pandamonium was down by 4 points. More accurately 4.3 points with TE Jermaine Grehsam (Cin) the only player left to go for either team. That could have honesly went either way. I mean Gresham can score touchdowns, and even if he doesn't 43 yards isn't something completely beyond the expectation level of a starting TE nowadays. Right?


Kynwric's Ghosts 83.70, Pandamonium 82.27, the closest game on the menu.


Kyn grabs the win and going into week 2 it's not a bad team. It looks like he's already benched Wes Welker (who only scored 1 point) in favor of the electric Randall Cobb (who scored 17). I'd argue about the relative merits of replacing an everyday fantasy stud like Welker with a flash in the pan one hit wonder like Cobb based on week 1 game stats but since I play Kyn next week...moving on. SJax and McGahee both had decent outings that would have been markedly better with just one touchdown for either so I think they're safe (if not homerun hitters) moving forward. Julio Jones could be the best WR in the world right now (sup Megatron) and Matt Stafford shouldn't throw 3 picks again this year. It's a good team moving forward and a daunting task for your's truly next week. As for the Panda, Tom Brady is a great QB. Jordy Nelsen, Pierre Garcon, Dez Bryant, Percy Harvin, and Brandon Lloyd are all good recievers, though I feel having that many WRs who are basically in the same skill range (exempting Dez Bryant who should be a WR1 this year) will constantly give you headaches as you'll spend too much time overthinking it and then eventually the one on the bench will score 20 (as Garcon did this week). He also added the butler Alfred Morris off the free agent list following his strong week 1 outing for Was. It looks like for now he is the guy in Was. and Shanahan does love to run the football, so maybe Panda has found his RB2, or RB1 depending on how Chris Johnson moves forward from here.







Corki's No Hopers vs. Original Sin


I give this game of the week status mostly based on how close it was going into the MNF games and also that it didn't suck all around as much as the previous game I just recapped. So here we go. Corki's squad got out of the gates early with Ahmad Bradshaw scoring 15, he followed that up with a Sunday that saw Gronk put up 12 from the TE spot and Frank Gore (still doing it and doing it and doing well) score 18 against the Packers defense. David Akers scored a magical 17 points from the K slot and Antonio Brown for Pit. put a respectable 8 points on the board. The only real let downs from the week were the Seattle D (scored 12 but expected more from them against the horrible QB play that defines the Cardinals) and Hakeem Nicks (scored only 3 points. Between him/Cruz/Manning they really let down the fantasy community on the week). On the flip side Original Sin (I always forget who that is) had Romo go for 31 on Wednesday and followed that up Sunday with good performances from Steve Smith (12), Shady McCoy (12), Vernon Davis (10)(I think I should have been parenthisizing (totally a word) these scores this whole post but I use the parenthesis so much for evil I've forgotten how to use them for the good of man)and the Chicago Defense(19). Roddy White even had 8 points and there was no bad games from anyone on this team. Though I guess one could argue Lesean McCoy and Roddy White could have had a more impressive days, they still pay the fantasy bills better than 3-5 points do. Going into the Monday games it was interesting. Corki was down but far from without hope as it was about 95 to 88 in favor of the Original Sin. Corki had Flacco (who's been highly praised this offseason) in the early game against OS' Run DMC and Sebastian Janikowski in the late game. Flacco came out and scored a bit shy of 26 in the opener, having a good day and just missing on some big TD throws near the end. He was ultimately too good as he wound up finishing the 4th quarter on the bench with a big lead. Awesome for him the Ravens, not a party for Fantasy owners. In the second game Janikowski came out with a 50+ yd field goal right off top and hit another to score 9 points, meaning Run DMC needed only about 9 more to hold off the No Hopers.


Original Sin 115.38, Corki's No Hopers 113.74


McFadden ended up with 11+. Finishing Corki by just enough. Going forward Corki has a decent line up. Schaub and Flacco to play opponent friendly match ups at QB and Nicks should be better at the WR. Lance Moore had a big day for him off the bench but NO recievers do that, then when you put them in they catch 3 passes for 32 yards. Malcolm Floyd also had a good day and he's interesting going forward as P Riv's possible #1 reciever, and River's looked very good last night. I don't know that Corki has any real break out score 30 in a game type of players, but they're all solid contributers who should get him to the playoffs where he generally loses to Empy. For the Original Sin it was a good win. Tony Romo looked great, he should always play that well with the recievers he has. He doesn't though, sometimes he's just bad, but a good QB1 all the same, if a bit roller coastery (totally a word). At WR Steve Smith and Roddy White are solid, and he has the best RB combo in the game I think in Shady McCoy and Run DMC. Vernon Davis as a solid TE added into the mix and I think Original Sin could challenge for the title this year.


But I also think I could challenge for a title, and we all know that won't happen. As Empy will win again. That's okay though, at least he's stuck there with a beautiful family and a lovely (no doubt) new child while I get to spend my Tuesday afternoons alone writing an hour diatribe on a fantasy football league whilst eating warmed up Pizza Hut Pizza. Ha Ha take that sucker!



Your Boy

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