Darkfriend Application

[ed2funy]

Found this on some site. Some guy named Douglas Banks wrote it.

DarkFriends Inc.

Application for Membership

Name:

Age:

Ajah(if applicable):

 

Please answer the following to the best of your ability.

 

1. In 50 words or less, why do you want to serve the Great Lord?

 

2. How did you first hear about DarkFriends Inc.?

_ friend

_ relative

_ Trolloc

_ dream

_ other (please explain) ___________________________

 

3. Are any members of your immediate family darkfriends? If so

please state name and rank.

 

4. Any special abilities or connections we should be aware of?

Channelling, viewings, brother to daughter-heir, etc?

 

5. Please list any accomplishments or awards that might be of

interest to Shai'tan. Include any dark deeds done, dark prophecy

written, etc.

 

6. Personality and motivation are extremely important to us here at

DarkDriends, Inc. The following questions are designed to see if

your personal traits are compatible with our philosophy. Please

answer the following as honestly as possible. Remember, there are no

"wrong" answers, but certain answers might get you killed.

 

a. Which most accurately describes your plans AFTER the Great Lord

slaughters the dragon reborn at Tarmon Gai'don?

_ Revenge on hapless fools who crossed me.

_ Power, power, power!

_ Fawning adoringly at the feet of the Chosen.

_ Replacing the Chosen.

_ Perfectin a recipe for honeycakes.

 

b. Which best describes your usual frame of mind?

_ murderous

_ scheming

_ devious

_ tenderhearted

_ bootlicking

_ seething

_ plotting

_ neighborly

 

c. Tell me about your mother.

_ sweet

_ dead (I killed her)

_ mysterious

_ I'll tell you about my mother!! (BLAM! BLAM!!)

 

d. Lews Therin: Ilyena

_ Rand: Aviendha

_ Rand: Elayne

_ Rand: Min

(careful!)

 

7. Would you object to any of the following?

_ working in close relationship with Trollocs

and other subhuman beasts?

_ working under potentially deranged Forsaken?

_ giving up any relations or ties with the Whitecloaks

or Whitecloak satellite programs, including but not restricted

to the Whitecloakettes and the Ladies of the Sunburst

Dessert Club?

 

Please mail the form to the above address with a check for

$35 and the head of a chicken. You should expect a response from

DarkFriends Inc. within two to three weeks. If your application

is exceptional, you may be invited to meet the Dark Lord himself

at his luxurios abode in Shayol Ghul. If we find that you are not

fit for service, please do not disclose any of the information

on this application to others; Darkfriends Inc. frowns upon such

behavior, and we will be forced to nail your tongue to the door.

 

Thank you for your interest!

[cosmicpanda]

I likey. I'd give you points, but, you know *mumbles*

[ed2funy]

Technically, you still can. *waggles eyebrows*

 

Or twist Nae's arm into doing so. :o

[LilyElizabeth]

I'll give you 10, Ed. I don't have much to give out.

[Edielin]

I'll give you a tree, Ed. I'll lynch you from it, someday, but for now you can keep it...

 

Close.

[Mr_Fahrenheit]

Ed, this is pure quality. We should get responses to this, i'm sure someone can up with something appropriately funny. Nice :)

[Alaksuleiel]

Hahahaha 10 from me too :)

[ed2funy]

Woo!

[Adella]

Haha, we really should send this to people when they wanna join!

[LilyElizabeth]

Or we could add it to what they have to do to join a faction.