Cast a Shadow (Attn: Kathleen and Open)

[SerenaMorrigan]

The loud clicking of heeled boots echoed in the cool, stone corridors of the White Tower. If emotions were capable of manipulating the One Power, Serena would have been encapsulated in a bubble of flames and dragging behind her a path of destruction. She was fuming on the inside, and every time she thought about it her feet picked up their pace, and her long blue coat flared out behind her. The blasted women treat me like a child just loosened from her mother’s apron strings! How dare they undermine me during an Ajah meeting!  The diminutive Saldaean Blue had been meeting with the Ajah regarding an unusual occurrence where a set of Eyes and Ears had gone missing, some of the elder Aes Sedai did not agree with her and called her point of view “rash”. Bloody women! If Darkfriends are involved with our Eyes and Ears they will lead a trail right back to us, how could they not want to scout things out?

 

So, Serena found herself removed from her quarters to take refuge in the most unlikely of places for her, the Library. There was a time when the fiery Blue wouldn’t have been caught dead in that part of the Tower; however, as her position in her Ajah had changed, she found herself more inclined to remain within it’s walls, than outside. She was not one to be confined or caged, but one to roam free and travel. It was not that being Ajah Head was a sentence for penance, meaning that she had to always remain within the Tower, but it had changed her lifestyle slightly.

 

Pushing upon the large mahogany doors, Serena took in a deep breath and composed herself. Her features cool and composed, except for the spark behind her tilted emerald eyes. The clicking of her knee high black boots changed to an even pace, as she crept through the deadly silent Library. The large open room was fairly empty, save for a few novices and Accepted studying. Finding a nice quite place to sit was not difficult, and she pulled up a large cushioned chair with a table before her.

 

The two books she had cradled under her arm were her favoured subjects: One on the Saidin, the Taint, and madness; the other, on Aridhol and the Shadow. Both of which, had to do with Serena’s Causes. She did not fight the Shadow with sword in hand like the Greens, but she fought them and studied them in her own way. And, she did not study the effects of the Taint on the male half of the True Source, like the Yellows did; but she could not help but be curious, compassionate and somewhat sympathetic. Those men didn’t have a choice, yet they were punished for it.

 

After summoning a novice to bring her some tea, and using an immense amount of will-power to not take out her flask and pour something a little “extra” in it, she leaned forward and began to read. As her eyes swept over the material, she began to relax. Odd, that, reading material on some of the most dangerous and frightening events and individuals could make one feel more at ease.

 

 

Serena Morrigan

Blue Ajah Head

 

[Kathleen]

Kathleen had been sent to the library with a mountain of books to return. She was used to fetching books for the Aes Sedai, but this was her first time returning them. She had been offered a basket to carry them in when she was asked to take them, she had said no. At the time Kathleen had thought it would be much more of a burden to have to bring the basket all the way back up to the Aes Sedai's room but with the tower of books the Brown had given her to return, reaching over her head by a book, she really wished she had taken the basket. Though she didn't really know if it would have been much help. How did that Aes Sedai think one person was enough to carry all of these books at once?

 

Kathleen carefully balanced the books as she opened the door and came in to the library, she thought she knew her way well enough to put the books away on her own. She started over to a table to set them on so she could put them away a few at a time. As she got to the table she tripped over a leg of a chair that she didn't expect to be there and the books toppled out of her hands all over the table and floor. "Blood and A--Aes Sedai!" She gasped as she realized she had just dumped the books almost on top of the woman. Kathleen dropped into the deepest curtsy she could and her face turned bright red. "I am so sorry, Aes Sedai, I did not see you! I should have been looking...are you alright?" She fumbled with her words as she quickly tried to gather her books. Oh, I hope I didn't hit her with any books! How could I have been so careless? Why didn't I look to see that the path was clear? Kathleen kept fumbling apologies until she had scooped up most of the books. When her eyes fell on the books she hadn't brought she stopped short and almost reached for it out of curiosity but caught herself at the last moment and grabbed the last of the books she was meant to return.

 

Kathleen curtsied again and said, "I am so sorry for all the harm done, I will watch where I go more closely and I will be out of your way." She picked up her pile of books and started to walk toward the rows of shelves to put them away.

[SerenaMorrigan]

Mashadar, the dark and mysterious power that seems to keep even the forces of the Dark One out of the city, is not unlike… Serena ran her finger along the lines of text, as if she had  never read the sentence before. …the menacing and corroding darkness of Machin Shin, or the Black Wind, in The Ways. Some think…

 

Serena had not noticed the moving tower of books that was headed straight for her table, and it was at that moment the tower collapsed right on top of her. Heavy volumes, fit for only a Brown, smashed on top of her hands and pushed her books down onto the floor. Pushing back in her chair, the legs screeched on the floor as she stood up. “What in the bloody..?”

 

At the same time, she heard. "Blood and A--Aes Sedai!" And the girl dropped into a deep curtsy, fit for nobility, no doubt. Her face turned a lovely shade of crimson and she stammered apology after apology. "I am so sorry, Aes Sedai, I did not see you! I should have been looking...are you alright?"

The Blue Sister watched the Accepted, and after being perturbed from being interrupted, she found the scene to be slightly amusing. Granted, her first reaction was anger, but after a few moments of watching the girl drop to the floor grasping at books as quickly as she could, Serena had decided that interaction with the younger initiates was exactly what she needed.

 

“Really, child, it’s quite alright. No need to stammer and fuss over a few books, although we may have to enlist you in some lessons on etiquette. Keeping one foot in front of the other gracefully, will be quite useful.”  Tilted emerald eyes twinkled, yet her other features remained cool.

The young woman must not have heard her, and continued to scramble for the books. Her hand reached for Serena’s books, paused, then returned to the rest of her pile. Tilting her head to the side, the Aes Sedai watched in interest. Perhaps the Accepted was interested in those topics as well, it would not be brought up often in her studies. Serena, herself, had had to seek out help from Espara Sedai when she was an Accepted, to find out any information on Aridhol.

 

In moments, the girl rose and headed towards the rows and rows of shelves. Shaking her head with a sly grin approaching her lips, Serena followed the Accepted. “Oh, Light, there’s no way you will be able to navigate your way around here with all of these and not cause another accident. You can hardly see around these. Which Brown sent you down here without a basket?” She reached up and grabbed the top half of the books. “I will help you put these away, and when we’re done, you will come and meet me back at my table.” Serena nodded matter-of-factly, despite the look on the young woman’s face, and spun around on her heel to find the shelves that she needed.

 

 

Serena Morrigan

Blue Ajah Head

 

 

OOC: Hope that's alright. I promise I'll make the next one more exciting.  ;D

[Kathleen]

As Kathleen got to the row of shelves she was surprised to find the Aes Sedai had followed her and just as she thought she was going to be told to go see the Mistress of Novices she was glad to hear the woman say that she would help. Kathleen told the Aes Sedai who had sent her and was relieved to feel the weight of the top books removed. Finally she could see again!

 

She took in what she could of the Sister as she turned the corner to put the books she had away. Surely she wants to me to come to the table later so she can give me my punishment. What is the punishment for physically harming an Aes Sedai? I know it was a book, not a real weapon, but still I wonder how bad it could be? She's probably over there thinking up something suitable enough for me to tell Pia Sedai right now! Though, she did come over to help me, perhaps it was so I would be done sooner and could get my punishment sooner, but she seemed to nice for that to be the case. Perhaps she will just scold me on her own and send me on my way? Perhaps I can get a better look at those books she had been reading, they seemed interesting. A little dark maybe, but the world isn't always a bright place. I know there are evils in the world, I just never thought I would have a chance to get to know them from a book. Yes, when I am done here I will I'll go back to the table and hopefully get a chance to glimpse the titles..and hopefully I'll remember them by the time I get back from my visit with the Mistress of Novices.

 

When she finished that thought she realized that she was also putting the last book she had away and smiled. It was nice to finally have her arms free again. She hadn't noticed them aching when she carried the books but she could feel the dull pain of relief now. The smile slipped when she remembered where she was going and headed back toward the table. You have already apologized, so don't blabber on. She called you there for a reason and surely it wasn't to hear you fumble around any more. Be quite and hear what she says, don't argue. Who knows, maybe she just wants to get to know you..ha yeah right, an Aes Sedai wants to chat and get to know an Accepted! They teach us, they have us do things they don't want to do themselves and that's about all. There will be plenty of time to get to know us when we are Aes Sedai to and before that why bother, we may be out of the Tower. At least that is how they come across. Oh, I hope she's back at the table before me, I don't want her to have had more work to do putting my books away!

 

Kathleen let the thoughts quite before she got to the table and relaxed as she saw the Blue waiting for her. When she got up beside the Sister Kathleen curtsied deeply again. "I am sorry I took so long returning, but you summoned me and I came." She stood in straight posture and tried to sneak a look out of the corner of her eye at the books on the way down into the curtsy, but didn't get a very good view. When she stood again she stood straight up and waited patiently for a reply.

[SerenaMorrigan]

The girl arrived back at Serena’s table, and the Aes Sedai studied her. The steps she had taken back to the table had been almost “bouncy”, and as soon as the girl probably thought that Serena was watching her, she composed herself into a stiff manner as she approached. Her curtsy had been too deep again, and now she stood with the rigidity of a soldier. No doubt the poor child is running circles in her head about what is proper, and what is not. Oh, Daes Dae’mar had  been so much fun to inflict upon the younger women of the White Tower, when Serena had first been raised to the shawl; however, it was not always needed, even if it came as second nature. Likely, the girl would jump if she said "toad". Where was the fun in that, when your subject was so willing.

 

Arching a dark eyebrow, seemingly unimpressed. “Child, your formalities are impressive, and often needed, no doubt; but, please relax and sit yourself down.” She waved a hand towards a chair opposite from her. “My Sisters often put an incredible amount of effort into etiquette and formalities, and fail to include that the Creator gave Accepted brains to use. Besides, if you have come as far to obtain the ring, you should be able to begin to think for yourself.”

 

Serena gestured at the tea pot. “You may have some, if you like.”

 

The Blue Sister let the anger that had practically consumed her from earlier, trickle out of her mind. A smile approached her lips, and she shook her head. “Here I speak of formalities, and I hardly follow them myself. I am Serena Sedai of the Blue Ajah. I have been sitting here, studying, and I am growing increasingly restless with my subjects.” Her hands grazed over the books before her. The titles in plain view. Tilted emerald eyes watched the Accepted from her periphery.

 

“Anyways, “ She leaned back against her chair, again, and propped one of her boots up on a chair across from her. Serena often feigned a relaxed state in heated moments, and times when her “opponent” would have expected her to be on her toes, or the edge of her seat; however, she was truly relaxed in this moment, and was having a little fun all the same. “Tell me about yourself, Accepted. Like, say, your name for starters, and maybe how you are taking to the life of Acceptedhood.”

 

Flames from a nearby candle danced in her eyes.

 

Serena Morrigan

Blue Ajah Head

 

[Kathleen]

“Child, your formalities are impressive, and often needed, no doubt; but, please relax and sit yourself down.” At that Kathleen smiled and rounded the table to the chair Serena had offered and sat herself down. Relax, with an Aes Sedai I nearly killed? Well, I suppose I didn't really almost kill her, it was only books. She seems to have moved on so I should too.

 

When Kathleen was offered tea she gladly accepted, wow, my first real chat with a full Sister,she thought as she poured a cup for herself. "Would you like a cup as well," Kathleen paused and then quickly added "Aes Sedai?" relaxing some formality is one thing, but I don't want to go to far. At that the woman in blue spoke up again, "Here I speak of formalities, and I hardly follow them myself. I am Serena Sedai of the Blue Ajah. I have been sitting here, studying, and I am growing increasingly restless with my subjects.” Kathleen couldn't help but follow the Blue's hand as it passed over each book, who would have thought that she would get to have this opportunity to see these books, and she would even get the chance to ask about them! As she let the titles sink in and quickly memorize each book's size and details she heard Serena ask about her.

 

Kathleen looked up from the books and replied. "My name is Kathleen, and I have only been Accepted a short while. To tell the truth, not that I would would lie.." She cleared her throat and tried to fight off a blush, "I am finding being Accepted is a lot different for me than being a Novice was. Not for the role or the new dress, of course, I have just been changing in attitude it seems. When I first arrived I was timid and overwhelmed. I was awestruck by the Tower and all that came along with it, and I closed off to everyone. I didn't want to stand out, but in doing so I lost touch with who I was. Since I gained my ring I have realized how shut out I was making myself, and how much I've missed by over thinking. Now I am just starting to let down my guards, but it seems it is harder than I had thought it would be." It was more than Kathleen had meant to admit, and surely more than what the Aes Sedai had been expecting to hear when she had asked about her transition to Acceptedhood was going, but it felt good to say it in an odd way.

 

Kathleen took a sip of the tea, and looked again to the books. She felt she should lighten the mood some how so she asked Serena Sedai about them. "I'm sorry to change the subject so quickly, and if you have more questions I would be happy to answer them, but I can't help but notice a theme to these books. I have taken many books to Brown Sisters, and a few to the Whites, but none have ever asked for any of these books, or similar. I didn't even know we had them. How long have you had an interest in this stuff? And what do you look to gain from these books? Are there others like them, or this all we have?" She didn't want to seem to intrusive or excited but she just had to ask. Perhaps the Blue could help her learn more. Well, anything at all really. All Kathleen knew at this point was that some people thought there were things out there like this, but most just thought them tales.

[SerenaMorrigan]

"I am finding being Accepted is a lot different for me than being a Novice was. Not for the role or the new dress, of course, I have just been changing in attitude it seems. When I first arrived I was timid and overwhelmed. I was awestruck by the Tower and all that came along with it, and I closed off to everyone. I didn't want to stand out, but in doing so I lost touch with who I was. Since I gained my ring I have realized how shut out I was making myself, and how much I've missed by over thinking. Now I am just starting to let down my guards, but it seems it is harder than I had thought it would be."

 

Serena nodded, and folded her hands in her lap. Ah, the life of Acceptedhood. She smiled as Kathleen spoke of the trials and tribulations that Serena had practically forgotten. Light, that had been such a strange time in her life. During her novice-hood she had had to learn to read, and had to adapt to the structure of the White Tower. Most of the other novices had performed their tricks and pranks, but she didn't start getting into serious trouble until she donned the banded dress of the Accepted.

 

The subject quickly changed to the books Serena had displayed before her. "I have taken many books to Brown Sisters, and a few to the Whites, but none have ever asked for any of these books, or similar. I didn't even know we had them. How long have you had an interest in this stuff? And what do you look to gain from these books? Are there others like them, or this all we have?"

 

Arching a dark eyebrow, Serena responded. "Perhaps, Kathleen, they simply did not ask you to bring these specific books to them. Aes Sedai have been interested in these things for quite some time, and it is not always information that we wish our innitiates to be side-tracked with."

 

Her hand grazed over the covers of the books as she spoke. "Although, I've been studying Aridhol since I was about your age." Serena fondly remembered her time in the library, where she sat across from Espara A'Dautry and Delana Sedai discussing Mashadar. "It was fascinating to me, how a whole nation could fall victim to such an awful Taint on what had been such a great city. A place, where not even Shadowspawn will tread."

 

"I acquired these many years ago, from a Brown Sister that had taken me under her wing while I was still a novice." Memories of Arette Sedai trickled into her mind's eye, and she wondered whatever had happenned to the woman. Gone, without a trace.

 

Lifting her eyes from the table, she tilted her head to the side and regarded the Accepted. "And you? Do you have an interest in these subjects?"

 

 

Serena Morrigan

Blue Ajah Head

[Kathleen]

"I am very curious about the taint and madness. There has to be a way to end it and the madness should be able to be Healed. I would like know more closely how it came to be, I haven't heard much of the specifics on it. And I would like to know more about the madness. How long does it take to set in, how quickly does it get worse. What are the symptoms to look for? Does it always happen to every man, or are them some that could survive without going mad? I know we told it happens eventually to all, but is that just a way for us to accept the idea of stilling and executing them and not feeling bad for it?

 

If this could happen to the men, is there anyway it could happen to us? If we could go back in time and stop this, how would it have been prevented, and would that give us a clue to how to put it right? I know all of this has been thought by almost every Sister in Tower since the day it became known that Saidin was tainted, but why, after all this time has there been no way to fix it found?

 

Then with the thoughts of the Dark Ones taint on male channellers, I drift to wonder about his touch on the rest of the world. How can something like the Dark One bring such disaster and misery to so many places, literally destroying some. Does he choose with places he touches and what happens there, or is involuntary somehow? If sends his darkfreinds out on missions how does he do it? Does he have a face and a body and order them around like a king sitting from a thrown, or do they think themselves what he would want them to do and them take it upon themselves?

 

I really haven't had the opportunity to research any of this, or ask anyone questions, so I really am just full of questions and the desire to know the answers." Kathleen shifted slightly in her seat and took another sip of her tea. "Where does your interest lay in this subject?" She asked as she set her tea cup down and placed her hands in her lap.

[SerenaMorrigan]

"Wonderful questions, indeed." Serena pursed her lips and pressed her fingertips together in her lap, so that they formed an arch. The girl had obviously thought a lot about the subject, much as Serena had from the time she was an Accepted. Granted, she could not tell Kathleen all that she knew, and some of it, she did not even know herself.

 

"At times, I wonder if I would have been better suited as a Yellow, because I have wondered the very same thing about Healing the madness." She smirked at the thought. Her, spending all of that time Healing? No, that was not where her interests lay completely. "Personally, I am not sure how long it takes for it to begin, but I would bet my life on the fact that the more one would use Saidin, the more it would lace itself into their very being. Much like drinking poison. The more you drink of it, the closer you become to death."

 

Raising her arched fingers to her mouth, she propped her elbows up onto the arm rests of the chair, and pressed her fingers to her lips. "Which makes me wonder if a man could survive if he simply did not touch the True Source. However, personally, it would be incredibly difficult for me not to embrace Saidar once I'd had my first taste of it." Her insides tightened so she would not shudder at the thought. "I mean, could you imagine it? Not reaching out and grasping at the sweetest and most powerful thing you've ever felt?"

 

She let her eyes be affected by her smile, when she thought of one of the questions Kathleen had, and she let out a light laugh. "As far as I know, since the Dark One's touch had lashed out on the male half of the True Source, that would mean that all men would be affected by it. In history, all of the channeling men that had been caught, caused serious harm to the people about them, and parts of the world as a whole." The Blue nodded her head towards the window, rain still pelted at the glass, and every once in awhile a flash of lightning would silhouette Dragonmount. "We do have proof of that, right outside of our walls. Although," and this where she found it funny. "some of us take it too far at times, I think. There are those in the Tower that might be more than happy to just do away with men altogether. Channeler, or not." She restrained from winking, but her eyes reflected what she was thinking, and hopefully Kathleen would understand which Ajah she was talking about.

 

"I am sure that the Taint could have been lashed out at Saidar, if things had gone a little differently. Unfortunately, none of us has learned to time travel, so going back is out of the question. Men going mad, is just something that 'is', although that does not mean that we can't wish that it never happenned, or wonder if it could be fixed. Some Aes Sedai would argue that I waste my time pondering such things, and should leave that up to those who are more suited for it: No one, or the Brown Ajah."

 

"As to your questions about the Dark One," Serena sat up and leaned forward, her face darkened as she spoke. "I study the Shadow and how it works in our people and the world; however, one can only get so close. From my own experience, we know there is an heirarchy, one with Dreadlords somewhere near the top. Of course, the Forsaken would be at the top of that food chain." Emerald eyes darted towards Kathleen, and she wondered if she had spoken of the Forsaken with too much nonchalance. It wasn't that she was not afraid of them, but showing fear and acting out of it would only cause her to be weak.

 

"Dreadlords are the men that abide by the Dark One's hand, and can channel." Her skin crawled as she thought of her brush with one in Aridhol. Yes, he saved my life, but why? "Anyways, I would assume that the Dark One gives orders to his subjects, and they carry them out. I also believe that there is reason and rhyme for the places that his hand touches. Perhaps, some of it is like waves rippling outwards from the intended target, but for the most part I am sure that the destinations are pre-meditated. Now, just because Darkfriends don't channel, doesn't mean they are any less dangerous. Yes, we can Shield them and hold them with bonds of Air, but it is behind the scenes that they often work. Squirming their way into High Courts, for whatever reason that promises them power."

 

Serena's face grew even cooler, and her eyes took on a very serious look. She leaned forward and held the Accepted with her gaze. "Kathleen, you spoke of letting your guard down earlier; don't ever fully let your guard down." A draft of cool air swept through the cracks in the walls, making the flame on the candle waver and almost snuff out.

 

 

As if she had not assumed such an ominous postion and tone, Serena leaned back against the chair again with ease. The iciness of her face smoothed out, and appeared warmer. "Did I help you with any of your questions? Really, it's almost all speculation and theory, so I probably didn't help you at all; however, I am glad to have someone to throw theories around with."

 

 

Serena Morrigan

 

[Kathleen]

Kathleen was glad to have someone to talk to about this subject. She had been thinking about it for a while now and had wanted to ask those questions and get some answers or pointed in the right direction but how do you bring up something like the taint or the Dark One in casual conversation with someone who have answers? The only people she know who may know more about it were Aes Sedai and you can't just walk up to an Aes Sedai and ask them their thoughts on the Dark One.

 

Kathleen was beginning to relax more and she was thrilled to be hearing what Serena was saying. Kathleen had often come to the same conclusion about likelihood of a man choosing not touching the source to keep him from going mad. She didn't know if she would have enough will power to keep her from embracing Saidar and if Saidin was just as intoxicating how could any man resist. Sure they could limit it, but over time it would add up. Unless the taint left them after not holding the Power for a length of time, but the evidence seem to suggest that it stayed long after using the Power and it built more every time it was used.  She discussed this thought with Serena Sedai when she asked Kathleen if she could resist the call of Saidar. Kathleen let the Aes Sedia finish answering the questions she had had and then she replied.

 

Kathleen had always wondered if the Red's approach of stilling and killing all male channelers they found was really the best approach. "I know the Red's reasoning to seek, still and execute is based on all of the male channeler's that have been caught after causing serious damage to others as well as themselves and that they think they are helping the people by not stilling the men before they can go insane and bring harm.I know they think that by killing them they are easing the pain of being stilled. But of course they found the ones who have caused damage but they have also found innocent ones who haven't had a chance yet, but how do we know that there are not men out there who have lived for years using Saidin, going mad but still they do not harm others. Maybe they go mad, but maybe they have found a way to slow it down or hold it off, could we be robbing them of long, happy, safe lives where they could be with family without hurting anyone or anything. I understand that even if it is that some can take longer to get mad we can't take the chance of just leaving them to go off on there own time when no one is around to help, but could there be a chance to still them and let them live. I know it is said that most die from loosing the connection, but surely there is a way to pull through. I just think taking a life before someone has done any damage to deserve it is not right." It was awkward to talk of stilling, it was one thing that was almost never spoken of, but if Kathleen could talk to anyone about it she thought Serena Sedai may be one who would be more open to it than any of the others. Kathleen never understood how so many people could just not talk of something and act like because they never say it, it just doesn't exist. As though if you stop acknowledging that you need to breath sooner or later you actually wouldn't have to.

 

Kathleen had noticed a drastic chance in tone when the Blue began speaking of the Dark One, and the darkfriend's affect on the world. She knew she had to tred lightly and the woman's comment of not coming out of her shell completely did make Kathleen's thoughts race a little with timing of the comment, but just had to press a little. "You had said you study the Shadow and how it works in our people and the world, then you continue to point out that they work behind the scenes, and that they squirm their way into High Courts, for whatever reason that promises them power. Are you suggesting that the Shadow maybe be working in the Tower?" Kathleen hadn't realized what she just what she was implying until the words were out of her mouth, her question still stood, it was one she had been concerned about since she had found out that the Tower was real and that darkfriends and the Shadow weren't just tales to scare her and her brothers into being good. "I mean, are you suggesting that hypothetically the Shadow could really be doing things to help the Dark One based out of our White Tower. You suggested that they usually aim for places of Power that could affect the world, and what place holds more influence in the world than the White Tower? How would we know who is working for the Shadow and who is working for the light? Is there any sort of precaution the Tower makes to keep darkfriends away to stop them from gaining the Title of the Tower?" Kathleen knew she was stepping close to things that shouldn't be said, she hoped the Aes Sedai didn't think she was accusing her of being a darkfriend. But with the words out of her mouth Kathleen couldn't help but recall the oddness in the voice of the Blue sister when she had been answering the questions on the Dark One. Kathleen had figured that the reason Serena had known so much and had spoken of the forsaken so casually was from years of researching making her more comfortable with the topic, but now that she made the possible connection to the Dark One and the Tower, she wasn't sure what to make of it.

 

 

[Amadine]

*bump*