A chat about warders Atten Loraine

[Rasheta Ardashir]

Rasheta stared out her window and sighed she was in a bad mood, she had been without both her warders for a week now. Dante was off training, and she knew he was having a hard time of it. She didn't really need to stare at the harbor everyday till her eyes hurt, but she did. Visar had gone off somewhere as well, Rasheta wasn't sure were because he had not told her. She paused she knew in what general direction he was in just not why he had left the tower. She sighed and stood up and pulled her shawl closer around her and decided to wander the Tower. She had nothing else to do with her time.

 

Novices and Accepted scampered out of her way as she walked along the halls. She ignored them mostly her mind was elsewhere. She had not confessed her love more then a few weeks when Dante left her on training. It simply wasn't fair! She knew why he had to go but why so soon after they were learning to handle the new romance they had. She sighed and finally looked up and realized she was standing outside Loraine's rooms. The other Green Sitter had been very kind to Rasheta before and she found herself in need of a few kind words. She knocked at the door and waited as patiently as she could.

 

After a few moments the door was opened by Loraine herself, Rasheta smiled and said. “I am sorry to disturb you but I am without both my warders and need something to distract myself. You were kind enough to me before so I was hoping we could talk a little?” She phrased the last as a question and waited to see if the other Green would allow her to possibly cry on her shoulder.

 

[U4ea]

Loraine heard the knock on her door and set her book aside, grateful for the distraction. Kynwric had taken some recruits out for some field training and she was nearly climbing the walls in boredom. She had a stack of reports to read, a mountain of correspondence to write... but none of it held her interest this evening. She'd tried the book, but, honestly, she couldn't focus on that, either. She prayed it wasn't just a Novice on the other side of the door with another parchment that needed her attention!!!

 

She crossed the room and pulled open the door, a smile erupting across her lips to see Rasheta on the other side of it. Hearing the woman complain of the same malady that was driving her crazy made her feel better and she opened the door a little wider and stepped back, letting Rasheta through. "Of course! Please, come in! I fear I'm in the same boat you are in, Kynwric's off teaching someone future warder how to not die away from the Tower!"

 

She ushered Rasheta into the little sitting room and smiled. "Normally I would offer you some tea, but... well, I remember you don't particularly care for it. Perhaps some mulled wine, instead?" She moved towards the small sideboard that rested under a window behind the sitting area, reaching for two goblets and a decanter. She loaded up a tray and returned to the couch, setting the tray on the low table in front of it. She poured wine in one glass and held it towards her fellow Green. "Sometimes it helps with the nerves," she said softly. A twinkle lit her eye and she smirked. "And Kyn always returns asking if I had to get snookered just to keep from missing him so much. I almost think he feels cheated if he can't tell I'm a little light-headed at least once while he's away."

 

~Lor

[Rasheta Ardashir]

"Of course! Please, come in! I fear I'm in the same boat you are in, Kynwric's off teaching someone future warder how to not die away from the Tower!"

 

Rasheta smiled and then laughed as she walked into the room of the other Sitter. She had always liked Loraine, she knew that it was said that no friends could be made in the tower, after you were raised to Aes Sedai, but she liked to think that the Greens relied on each other a little more then the rest of the tower. They defiantly weren't as isolated as the rest of the tower. At least she hadn't seen that in the last forty years she had held the shawl. Doors were always open and warders good naturedly fought each other in the Green Halls sometimes. Things were enjoyable but the Greens also took there job as hunters of the Shadow and getting ready for the Last battle seriously. She sat down in Loraine's sitting room.

 

"Normally I would offer you some tea, but... well, I remember you don't particularly care for it. Perhaps some mulled wine, instead?"

 

Rasheta laughed again and nodded her head. "Please, I seem to have a reputation for disliking tea. I only drink it when i'm seeing Jaydena or one of the sisters in the other Ajahs." She made a disgusted face and she caught Loraine smiling before the other Sitter turned away to get the wine. Loraine sat down and put the tray in front of them and poured wine in a glass for Rasheta. Rasheta took it and Loraine continued.

 

"And Kyn always returns asking if I had to get snookered just to keep from missing him so much. I almost think he feels cheated if he can't tell I'm a little light-headed at least once while he's away."

 

Rasheta drank out of the glass and shook her head. "I don't know how you do it." She paused and found herself blushing a little. She needed to get herself under control she was far from a blushing child in love for the first time. She cleared her throat and said. "I think being in love makes the time apart harder. I fell for Dante and told him just weeks before he left. It wasn't easy to let him go." She took another drink and asked. "How did you handle Kyn's first time away?"

[U4ea]

Loraine smiled and swirled the wine in her glass a moment before she answered. "It wasn't easy. I was lucky it was just an overnight trip for some training he was working through. We weren't even bonded, at the time. I was a horrible hold out, you see." She smiled a little wistfully for those days when whether she could bring herself to tie him to her forever was a really big issue. "I was lucky we weren't bonded, I think. I bought a new rug after I wore the threads in my old one clean through. I wouldn't let him in here for a week until I found one I liked. Naturally, he'd learned how to ask a question so I couldn't hide why I needed a new one by then."

 

She laughed and sipped her wine, tilting her head. "Just so you're aware of it, it doesn't get any easier letting them go. I am frightened every minute that some freak accident will happen while he's away and he won't come home to me. A rock his horse didn't see in the dark or a snake curling up for warmth." She shook her head and took another sip of wine. "I just have to trust his training and pray that the Creator will see him safely back to me. The nights are the hardest, though, when finding something to distract myself is key. And Light help us if he feels a moment of shock or pain, because then I worry about that until I can lay my hands on him to make sure he's alright!"

 

She laughed at herself and shook her head again. It wasn't like she could Heal him if he was seriously injured. She could give him enough energy to make it to the infirmary, though.

 

~Lor

[Rasheta Ardashir]

"Just so you're aware of it, it doesn't get any easier letting them go. I am frightened every minute that some freak accident will happen while he's away and he won't come home to me. A rock his horse didn't see in the dark or a snake curling up for warmth."

 

These words were not the words Rasheta was hoping to hear from the older and wiser sitter. She nearly burst into tears at the thought. She struggled for a moment to get her emotion under control by taking another drink of her wine. She didn't think the bond between her and Dante was helpful in the case of letting him go. Loraine seemed to be confirming that. Knowing they were alright NOW didn't mean they would stay that way. She would know the manner of Dante's death but it would be very hard to exact vengeance on a snake or a horse who threw him.

 

Shortly after Rasheta had this thought Loraine continued speaking about how she felt about Kyn. Rasheta smiled when the other sitter commented on not feeling alright till she could lay her hands on Kyn again. Rasheta was feeling the same now and the past two nights had been hard on her. She was now used to sleeping next to Dante and with him gone it was starting to depress her. She knew that wouldn't be good because then Dante would start to worry about her and he would not pay as close attention to his training as he should and then she could loose him. She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling of Loraines room for a moment before she said.

 

"I'm not used to being in love. I thought that my ability to love had died with Adrien in the Blight. Dante took me by surprise, I thought I hated him at first." She laughed remembering. "He wormed his way into my heart though. I'm not sure when or how it happened. He told me he had always loved me." She shook her head and took another drink of wine.

 

"What do you do at night to distract yourself?" She shook her head. "I'm afraid i've gotten used to Dante sleeping next to me and the last two nights have been." She paused for a moment to think of the right word. "Difficult." She settled on. She realized that to an outside observer this whole conversation would be rather strange two sisters lamenting over the loss of warders. It did take Rasheta's mind off things though at least that was helpful. She turned her attention back to Loraine who was speaking.

 

 

[U4ea]

Loraine smiled, understanding exactly what Rasheta was going through. "To be honest," she started, setting her glass aside. "When we were newly bonded and he left to go on a training mission, I couldn't sleep in that bed. We've been together longer than we've been bonded, which is not exactly the normal route, I know. It just meant that I was used to him as a man before I was used to him as a Warder. That made missing him harder, I think."

 

She smiled and leaned forward. "At first, I would stay up until I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, then sprawl out on this couch and fall asleep. I didn't sleep well, though, and Kynwric complained about it wearing on him while he was training. Naturally, that made me feel horrible, so talked to the Yellows in the Infirmary, telling them I had nightmares about one thing or another that were keeping me up all night. It wasn't a lie, since every time I was close to sleep, my mind would find some horrible danger to frighten me out of my mind and I'd wake up determined to get to him before I lost him completely. They gave me something to help me sleep and it worked beautifully. Naturally, though, Kyn said he didn't like what it felt like through the bond when I was taking it, so I stopped that, too. After that, I tried everything, from lining pillows up on the other side of the bed and wrapping them in his clothes to just sleeping in a vacant apartment here in the Green Halls until he came home." She laughed and shook her head. "Even now, after being bonded for so many decades, I can't focus on much of anything besides the fact that he's not here. The only thing that makes me feel better is..."

 

She paused and smiled at Rasheta. "Have you tried communicating with him through the bond? Sure, you can't hear a single thought in his head, but you can feel everything he's feeling. It's harder, the farther away he is, but sometimes I can tell Kynwric about my day by using the memories of it to invoke emotions and feelings for him. If he's able to, he does it back to me sometimes. Although, usually when he's training, it's mostly exhaustion and excitement with a dash of that wistful freedom of being away from here that I get from him. It's something you and Dante could try, though. I believe that being in love with the person on the other end of the bond enhances that ability somewhat. I have more of a vested interest in how he's feeling, after all."

 

~Lor

 

[Rasheta Ardashir]

OOC: Sorry this took me way to long to get back

 

IC:

 

Not sleeping in the same bed she shared with Dante seemed like a good idea. She had spent enough time on the couch in her sitting room to know it was comfortable she would attempt to sleep there tonight and see if she could stay asleep for longer then a few hours. Visar would think it strange but he wouldn't say anything she knew him well enough now to know that.

 

"Have you tried communicating with him through the bond?" Rasheta blinked and listened to Loraine's explanation of what to do. She could try it, Dante would probably find it a little strange but he may enjoy it too. He didn't like being away from her anymore then she liked being away from him. She resolved to try it later that night while she was alone. That way if it didn't work she wouldn't feel like so much of a failure. She drank a bit more and said. "I thank you for the advice. I will have to try it." She shook her head then and continued "Sometimes I think love and warders are more trouble then they are worth." She laughed and added "but they can be worth it too." She had wondered how the other Ajah's could not end up falling for a warder. They were easy to love. She had two and while she would never sleep with Visar she did love him in her own small way. She said to Loraine.

 

"Do you ever wonder how the other Ajahs. Keep themselves distant from there warders. Its odd that they wouldn't fall for them isn't it?" It was a very odd question she knew but it just slipped out.

 

 

 

 

[U4ea]

OOC: Me, too. It's been a crazy month. *sighs*

 

IC:

Loraine smiled, agreeing completely. "They are indeed worth it," she said softly. Her thoughts strayed, as always, to her sons, before she blinked and turned back to Rasheta. "As for how the others keep themselves distanced, I have often wondered the same thing. Of course, I think, after a while, they love them regardless of whether they wanted to or not. A lot of couples in arranged marriages are the same way. They'll still tell you that they're 'just good friends,' but while they may never snuggle for more than warmth on a cold night, I'd be willing to bet they'd happily lay down their lives for them."

 

She laughed and sipped her tea. "Of course, a White with a warder confuses me to no end. I knew one not long after I was raised to bonded a warder, fresh out of the Yard. He was cocky for about a month." She shook her head and laughed. "I'm not sure who I felt sorrier for after that. She treated him like a servant and knew the minute he started thinking about slapping her. She had him so beaten down by the end of that first month..." She shook her head again and looked up at Rasheta. "He was a Borderlander, though. He didn't stay down for long. I swear, before he died, she was the one looking frail!"

 

"Personally, I don't think I could look Kyn in the eye and order him to fetch my breakfast. I'd be afraid to see what he'd bring up from the kitchens!" She curled her legs under her and shuddered with a wink. She was just lucky he knew she was hungry as he passed the kitchens and brought her breakfast on his way!

 

~Lor

[Amadine]

*bump*