What is real (Attn Rhya and Owen)

[Serey]

Kai woke up.  Blinking sleep away, she tried to focus.  It was dark, she was outside and it was raining.  “Perfect,” she mumbled, and closed her eyes.  Pillowing her head in her hands she tried to fall back asleep, too weary to get up and return to her hut.  

 

But she couldn't sleep.  Hunger gnawed at her stomach, her throat felt raw, and the rainfall was heavy.  Rolling on her back, Kai opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue.  The rain was cold and tasted sweet.  

 

Hunger...  Thirst...  Confusion...  Drink from running stream... Eat deer...  Full belly...  Feeling of warm sunshine on fur...

 

The feelings and images raced through her mind, but they weren't her thoughts.  Over and over, the strange thoughts came, just as they had come for days.  Kai opened her eyes and looked around, desperate to find something to focus on, something real.  

 

Her hut.

 

It wasn't that far off.  She could see it, only about 200 paces away.  Her eyes locked on the sight, and she stood up.

 

Hut...  Running...

 

Kai began to hum, trying to chase the stray thoughts away, humming had worked before.  She headed for the hut, trying not to stumble.  Reaching the door she stopped.  A wolf stood in the center of the small room.

 

“It's not real,” Kai said, squeezing her eyes shut.  “It's not really there.  It's not really there.  It's not really there.”  

 

When she open her eyes again, the wolf was staring back, his yellow eyes unblinking.

 

“You're not real.”  Kai took a step forward, then another towards the beast.  “A real wolf would run or growl.”  

 

The wolf didn't move.  Hunt rabbit...  eat...

 

You are not real.”  She reached out a hand, gasping when she touched the wolf's head and felt fur beneath her fingers.

 

The wolf wagged its tail.

 

Kai fainted, landing in a heap on the floor.

 

The wolf buried his nose in her hair, her armpit, smelling.  The two legs was weak, had been starving herself for days.  He had tried to convince her to eat, to show her that everything would be all right, that he did not want her to die.  But she would not listen to him.  Others were coming though.  They would try.

 

He walked to the door of the hut and lay down to wait.

[Taymist]

Rhya scrunched her nose absently, shifting her weight in the saddle to find a more comfortable position. This journey had been longer than the previous one and she found herself thinking longingly of the tree house and her soft bed. A wistful sigh escaped her as she continued her musings about the number of new Wanderers being brought to the Stedding.

 

The Wolfkin were not numerous, or at least had not been, even counting the Watchers and Trackers who were, more often than not, somewhere out in the world gathering intelligence, arranging trade matters or answering calls for help from those going through their Howling. It said much to Rhya that the Trackers were too overwhelmed recently with work to do it all themselves. With increasing frequency she found herself travelling with Owen to collect another Wanderer, or heard of other Rangers being asked for their assistance.

 

Times are changing, she acknowledged silently. Even in the Stedding, they heard the rumours and stories of strange events; perhaps even more often and more accurately than most normal people given their access to the wolf dream. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder how it would effect the mostly sheltered life of the ‘kin.

 

On this occasion, their journey had taken them south-east, passing Whitebridge at a distance and skirting the Murandian border until the land rose into the Hills of Kintara. The entire area was mostly deserted with few people finding it habitable enough to remain. Rhya knew from her history books that the nation of Kintara had fallen, along with many others, some time before 600 NE. Indeed, the only town of any size that still stood was Far Madding. According to the wolves, there was no need to travel that far however. Their quarry was in the hills.

 

The horses picked their way, surefooted, around debris from old rockslides as they progressed up into the foothills and eventually, the barren slopes gave way to light forest. Content to leave her mount to its own devices, Rhya’s hazel-eyed gaze slid towards Owen as it was wont to do fairly often. Her awareness of him was like a constant itch. A faint smile tugged at her mouth as she watched him through dark lashes. He knew she was doing so of course and it was only a matter of minutes before he glanced at her, amusement writ large across his face. Rhya’s eyes danced with suppressed laughter, not remotely abashed at being caught staring.

 

“So, do you intend to hide again and let me do all the hard work or are we both going to speak to her?” she queried finally, a teasing note in her voice. The wolves had told them the Wanderer was female but they had given her no name.

 

[WhiteWolf]

    Sniffing, with disdain, Owen ignored Rhya’s words and instead continued to scan the land around them. Although this area was reputed to be sparsely inhabited, that did not mean they were safe, far from it. Owen knew from experience that Trollocs and other enemies could appear almost from thin air.

    Without conscious thought, Owen’s right hand dropped to his side and started to ruffle the fur of the large white female wolf that sat next to him. He remained silent for some time; his eyes continually search the hillsides. Finally Owen broke the silence. “This is not the time for frivolous thoughts or comments Rhya, we are in a desolate land, far from help. “

    Rhya’s mouth worked, but no words came out so shocked was she at Owen’s words. Just as she was about to regain control and tell him what he could do with his frivolous attitude, Owen turned to her and winked, a smile slowly spreading across his face. Leaning in, Owen put his nose next to hers and whispered: “got you.”

    Rhya’s response was totally lost as Owen’s lips covered hers and soon her objections had switched to quite moans. When they parted they were both slightly breathless, but it was Owen who recovered first. “If you are not confident enough to handle a first contact Rhya then of course i will accompany you. However i thought you competent enough that i did not want o cramp your style or steal your glory.”

    Rhya just stood there, her mouth silently forming an “O”

    “Well come on Rhya, don’t just stand there, we have a long way to go and not much daylight left.” Owen climbed into the saddle on his horse and started down the trail, whistling to himself, and trying to keep the smile from his face as he could feel the emotions pouring from Rhya. Eventually he could no longer contain his amusement and burst out laughing.

 

 

Owen

 

The White Wolf

 

Ranger Leader

 

[Taymist]

The Light take him. If I ever met a more infuriating man! If Rhya had actually been a wolf her hackles would have been standing on end. As it was her scent was prickly enough for ten thorn bushes until Owen started laughing fit to bust. She contented herself with muttering about bone headed mules and men who were too full of themselves, narrowed eyes glaring at his back as she followed him along the trail. In truth, Rhya's annoyance stemmed from dismay and was mostly directed at herself. She had walked right into that little trap. She was supposed to be a sensible and intelligent woman, yet one kiss from that... that lout!... was enough to scramble what wits she had.

 

Rueful amusement warred with irritation. Steal my glory indeed, the thought brought a disdainful sniff but she couldn't hold on to her temper. Had the tables been turned, she'd have been just as self satisfied.

 

The sending came suddenly and strongly from a single source, wiping all other thoughts from her mind. There was an impression of great hunger, self inflicted if Rhya understood correctly. "She's trying to die!!" she exclaimed in disbelief. Owen's responding nod was brief, his expression grim, all trace of laughter gone.

 

Both riders moved at once, kneeing their mounts onwards with as much speed as possible without risking an accident. Ice loped easily alongside them and Rhya distantly sensed Shadow off somewhere ahead. Stealth would be wasted. The girl was not going to be in any fit state to run anywhere if she was weakened by hunger.

 

The minutes seemed to drag on, every second of delay causing Rhya's concern to heighten. They would not be too late, they could not be. The idea that someone would take their own life, would just...give up... even over something as traumatic as the Howling, was so alien to Rhya that it made her skin crawl with horror. At last, they broke as one through the trees and out onto a small grassy plateau. A hut stood a small distance away; a male wolf rising from where it had lain at the door as Owen slipped from his saddle and approached on foot.

 

Rhya dismounted more slowly, searching through her saddlebags for some food, a tinderbox and what few medications she'd brought, anything that might be useful and then, having stuffed things into her pockets, busied herself collecting wood. She nodded respectfully to the wolf as she finally entered the dim interior of the hut and found Owen crouched over a woman about her own age who lay on the floor.

 

"Rhya, get a fire started. She's coming round now," Owen directed quietly.

 

Silently, Rhya hurried to do as bid and soon had a small fire going and a pot of water boiling on it. A soon it was ready, she made tea for them all and crumbled several herbs carefully into the largest cup. "Here," she murmured, passing the tea to Owen. "Give her that and make sure she drinks all of it."

 

[Serey]

The sound of voices and the smell of tea drew Kai from her stupor.  With a groan, she sat up.  The world seemed to tilt and her sight filled with dark brown spots.  She drew her knees up to her chest, and rested her aching head on top, waiting for the faintness to pass. 

 

Taking deep even breaths, she tried to ignore the smells that filled her nose and her growling stomach.  Part of her knew she had to get a hold on herself, that she needed to think, that there were strangers in her home.  The other part remembered why she was in the hut in the first place and just wanted to go back to sleep.

 

How many days had it been?  She had watched Brason fade away, no longer able to eat or drink.  It took two days for him to die.  Surely it had been more than two days since her last meal.

 

Kai lifted her head and wrapped her arms about her knees as she looked around.  The hut was filled to near capacity with her, the wolf, a woman tending a small fire, and a man.  The last drew her attention, and she narrowed her eyes.  He looked like a ghost, his skin paler than could be accounted for by sickness.  Then her eyes drifted to the wolf.  He was brown with a large head and a rather scrawny body, as if he had grown too fast, and needed time to flesh out.  She thought he was the same wolf from before, but couldn't remember what the first wolf had looked like.  He smelled familiar, but maybe all wolves smelled the same.  She smiled when her gaze drifted to the woman.  She looked ordinary enough, until one looked at her eyes, yellow eyes like the wolf's.

 

Brason had seen things, too, towards the end.  Maybe it--

 

The wolf barked, making Kai jump.  Drink.

 

Kai blinked, noticing for the first time that the man was offering her a cup.  Had he said something?  She tried to remember as she reflexively reached out and took the proffered cup.  “Thank you,” she said, letting the cup warm her hands.

 

Steam wafted up, misting on her cheeks.  Tentatively, Kai took a sip, and shivered as the hot liquid burned its way down to her stomach.  Looking up, she met the man's eyes, only a little surprised to see that they too, were yellow.

 

Confused, Kai took another drink of the tea.  It seemed real enough, but she had been fooled by dreams before.  “So,” she muttered, after another swallow.  “What is this?”

[Taymist]

Rhya's head lifted at the new voice and she looked at the woman speculatively for a moment. She seems to be sane enough, the rapid conclusion flitted through her head as she favoured the patient with a warm smile. "Nothing to be worried about. It's just tea with a little andilay root and willow bark mixed in to clear your head and alleviate tiredness. Finish it all, you'll feel better for it and then we can see about getting some food inside you."

 

The woman's mouth opened but Rhya wasn't about to give her any chance to protest, "Eating isn't optional. We don't allow people to die if we can possibly help it. You can eat of your own accord or I'll have Owen hold you down and I'll spoon feed you myself." The smile never left Rhya's face as she talked but her tone of voice left no doubt that she meant every word. "Things are never so bleak on a full stomach. Now, why don't you tell us your name and then Owen will enlighten you about a few things that may change your view of your current situation. I'm Rhya by the way."

 

[Serey]

Kai brought the cup to her lips and feigned taking another swallow as she tried to make sense of the woman's words.  We don't allow people to die...  Who was we?  Did the woman mean herself, the ghost-man and the wolf?  And...  Owen...  Rhya...  That was more than a little odd.  Usually the characters in her dreams remained nameless.  A tingling feeling ran down the back of her neck.  Could the odd grouping be real, and not just a figment of her imagination?

 

Kai shook her head, and sighed.  She doubted it.  It was just her luck that her mind had conjured up a wild beast, a ghost, and a pushy, know-it-all girl who all seemed bent on making her eat.  "Can't complain if you get what you wish for," she reminded herself and looked down at the cup.  It was half empty.  That was odd too- whatever the dream was, it was surely detailed.  Kai stiffened.  Dreams with too much detail were dangerous.  Things that happened in those dreams, they blended with reality and next thing she knew she had sleepwalked or--

 

She let out another sigh.  No matter how real the dream, she did not have to play along.  Kai held the cup out at arms length and tipped it over before dropping it.  “Go away,” she said, laying back down and closing her eyes.  "Leave me be." 

 

If they didn't, well, she would just ignore them.  It couldn't be much longer, anyways.

[WhiteWolf]

    Try having a full stomach and a load of ale and then you will not so blithely say that the world looks better on a full stomach.

 

    Owen had to bite his lip to not say that out loud. Humour could often take the edge off of a situation, but in this case Owen thought it wiser to say nothing about vast amounts of alcohol and full stomachs. Instead he focused his senses on the Wanderer in front of him. He could easily sense the anguish that poured from her. But it was more than that, and the more Owen concentrated the more concerned he grew at the depth of feelings he could sense.

    “It is always difficult for those of us who are blessed by the change we undergo. It is often a time of confusion, of fear. A time when we can feel totally isolated from everyone and everything around us.” Owen was speaking softly, almost as if he was talking to himself, but he knew the Wanderer could hear him and although she tried to hide it, he also knew she was listening.  “And then, just when we think we can deal with the changes we start seeing Wolves, when we are awake and when we are asleep. And they talk to us, although talk is not really what they do. They send us pictures is the best way to describe how they communicate with us.” Again Owen stopped talking and this time started sipping at his tea. Just when it seemed he would not say anything else, Owen started talking again, keeping his voice low forcing Kai to lean closer so she could hear what he was saying. This was exactly what Owen hoped for, to try to make a small penetration into the wall she had thrown up around herself.

    “I know you are going to find this hard to believe, but you are not alone in this. There are more people like you than you could imagine. We have our own home where we are safe from those who would harm us or turn us over to those who would harm us. You can come and live there and no one will cause you any harm. We have our own healers, stables, blacksmith and an Inn that you just have to see to believe. It looks like it was carved from a living tree so intricate is the work. “

    Owen continued to describe the Stedding and the large forest that surrounded it. He also made mention of the Citadel and the Council there. “It may surprise you, it certainly does me, but we have good relations with the occupants of the Citadel and they help to protect the integrity of the Stedding and those of us who live there.”

    Owen decided he had given Kai enough to think about and hopefully she would feel intrigued enough to forget her own troubles, for now, and start asking questions. Glancing over to Rhya Owen winked and smiled, hoping she would understand what he was doing.

Owen

 

The WhiteWolf

 

Ranger Leader

[Serey]

When the ghost-man stopped speaking, Kai felt numb.  While he had spoken, she had sat up and listened, his words capturing her attention.  So much of what he said was correct.  The confusion, fear, isolation, the wolves...  And then, the Stedding.  Kai tried to wrap her mind around the idea: a safe place, no one would harm her, others like her lived together.  But he didn't know everything.  He spoke of her being safe from others, but what about keeping everyone else safe from her?  And what about Brason?  He wouldn't be waiting for her at the Stedding.  Her family wouldn't be at the Stedding.

 

Kai realized she was breathing hard, and it took another moment before she realized it was because she  was crying.  Mortified, she buried her head in her hands and tried to calm down.  These people, they said she wasn't crazy, but if she didn't get a hold on herself...

 

Images and feelings rushed through her mind, too quick to decipher, but they chased away her own thoughts and left her with feelings of calm and hope.

 

The wolf, she realized, and wiping away her tears she looked at him.  Was he even a wolf, or some other creature?

 

As if called, the wolf walked over and lay down beside her, resting his head in her lap.  Images filled her mind again.  The wolf sneaking after a wasp as it flew back to its nest.  Curiosity.  Poking the nest with his nose.  Wondering what the wasp was doing inside.

 

The ghost-man had said she could talk to wolves.  That was crazy, but, what if he was right?  Could she learn to understand what this wolf was trying to say?

 

Carefully, Kai ran her hand down the wolf's long back, and the wolf wagged its tail. 

 

“I...”  She shook her head, and smiled.  “I've always been scared of animals, especially dogs.”

[Taymist]

Rhya’s eyes narrowed when the woman casually tipped her cup upside down but she held her peace. Letting Owen deal with things for now seemed the wiser course. She wasn’t angry precisely, but it troubled her deeply that any person would consider death a preferable solution to a problem than facing it head on. Something so alien to her own nature set her on edge and she held her tongue with difficulty, listening to Owen speak as she set to making fresh tea.

 

Glancing from time to time at the woman on the floor, who still hadn’t vouchsafed a name, Rhya was glad to see she was sitting up and paying attention albeit with diffidence. So there is still some spark of fight left in her. Her spirit is not quite defeated. Good. No sooner had she noticed that than Owen was winking at her surreptitiously and her responding nod was almost imperceptible.

 

Satisfied that matters were in hand, Rhya left them to it while she headed back outside to collect two freshly killed rabbits left a few feet from the doorway. It could be very useful having wolf companions at times like this and she sent thanks to Shadow before settling onto a log nearby. Skinning and cleaning the catch was the work of a few minutes and soothing besides, returning Rhya to a more normal frame of mind.

 

By the time she returned to the hut, the girl was wiping away tears, looking curious and hopeful but doubtful at the same time. That was the breakthrough. She was listening and interested, considering new possibilities. Having collected and refilled the dropped cup with tea, Rhya handed it back to the Wanderer with a quiet admonition to drink it this time and set about putting the meat to cook, hoping that the aromatic scent would engender a wish to eat.

 

“I've always been scared of animals, especially dogs.”

 

Rhya grinned at the hesitant comment.

 

“Wolves tend to avoid humans generally and they wouldn’t hurt one of the ‘kin over and above that. Some of them become our companions and settle around the Stedding. You can meet our wolves, Ice and Shadow, later. They came along with us to find you. Has he told you his name yet?” Rhya inclined her head at the wolf sitting contentedly under the girl’s hand. “It’s usually one of the first things they tell us. And perhaps we may know yours now too?”

 

Giving the woman time to collect herself, Rhya checked the meat was cooked through, split it into three equal portions and added some bread to each plate. Dropping herself gracefully to sit cross legged beside Owen, she gave each of them a plate and began making inroads into the third.

 

 

[Serey]

Kai had accepted the cup and plate of food without comment.  Looking at the food made everything seem so clear.  Everything, all of it, was real.  The hut, why she had come to live in it, the wolf, the strangers.  Light help her, but she wasn't delusional. The wolf, the woman and the man were odd, true, but she just wasn't imaginative enough to have thought them up.  And too much of what the man had said was correct.

 

Watching them now, she couldn't help but grimace, as the woman merrily ate her portion of the rabbit and bread.  Kai didn't feel like eating, the tea she had drunk earlier felt heavy and expansive in her gut.  But, the woman had said eating wasn't optional, that she and the man would force feed her if necessary. 

 

Go ahead and try, Kai thought, smirking.  She didn't think she could stomach anything else, not and keep it down.  Hoping the woman was too busy eating to notice, Kai set her plate down in front of the wolf's head.

 

He whined.  Eat.

 

No, she thought, glaring at him.  You eat.

 

The wolf stared back.

 

Can you understand me? She gazed into his golden eyes, looking for some sign of comprehension.

 

Eat.

 

“Well,” Kai said in frustration, setting the cup down as well, “if the first thing a wolf tells you is his name.  This one is called 'Eat.'  As to my name-”  Her cheeks flushed, anger making her cut the sentence short.  She stood up and walked over to the window.  A wave of dizziness passed through her, and she placed a hand against the wall to steady herself and tried to concentrate on taking deep breaths.

 

She had always prided herself for her ability to to not only keep her temper under control but to control what she became angry about.  Little things never bothered her, and when something bigger came along, she dealt with it and moved on, anger rarely entering the equation.  Now, she was angry and she didn't fully understand why.  It wasn't that the strange group had forced their way into her home uninvited.  And it wasn't the way the woman, no older than herself, treated her like some insolent child.  It wasn't even that they made her feel like an insolent child.

 

“You don't know me,” she said, her voice bitter as the reason dawned on her.  “You think you know what's happening to me.  Well, maybe you do.  But you don't know me at all.  You think you know what's best for me?” 

 

Kai turned around to glare at them, unable to keep herself from shouting.  “You don't know anything, all right?”

[WhiteWolf]

    The sudden switch in emotions did not surprise Owen as much as it did Rhya, but only because Owen had seen this sort of reaction many times before. In the years before the battle of Emonds Field and the establishment of the Citadel, a Ranger had accompanied many of the Trackers when they went out to find Wanderers. Owen had taken part in his fair share of those journeys so Kai’s response was nothing new to him.

    So he did the best thing he could, he ignored the outburst and continued as if nothing had happened. Sipping his tea Owen let Kia vent her anger and confusion. Although what she said was very important to her, it was nothing Owen had not heard before.

    When Kai realised that she was not going to get the response she wanted she eventually returned to her seat and grumpily picked up her mug. Her grip was so tight that Owen could see her knuckles turn white.

    “I know a lot of things about many a subjects. I can shoe a horse; i can sharpen a sword blade. I can follow a trail and provide food for myself and those travelling with me. I also know what Wanderers go through when they go through the Howling. Please do not forget that all of us suffer when we go through the Howling, and it may seem now that you are having the worst experiences anyone can have. However if you can only understand that you are not alone in this, that would help you more than you may realise.”

    Owen sipped his drink and glanced across at Rhya. She was awfully quiet. However her emotions were anything but quiet, the overriding one was of anger and this surprised Owen quite a bit. He decided to file that piece of information away for later. For now they had a Wanderer to save, and this one was not going to be as easy as others they had helped.

    “It might be a good idea to introduce ourselves properly. I know Rhya mentioned our names before, but i did not catch yours. So i am Owen, known to the Wolves as White Fang. My companion here is Rhya, who is known to the Wolves as Autumn Mist. My Wolf Companion is Icewind on a Cold Dark Night, or Ice for short. Rhya’s Wolf is called Shadow and is Ice’s brother, how should we call you?”

Owen

 

The WhiteWolf

 

Ranger Leader

 

[Serey]

“Kailani,” she said, “Kai, for short.”

 

She stared at the wolf.  What are you called?

 

Wolf follows a wasp as it flies back to its nest. It is summer, and the sun is warm on his back.  He sees the wasp go into a nest and he sniffs it.

 

“And he's called...”  Kai shook her head.  “I don't know, it's not a name- its more like a memory complete with feelings and emotions.”  She sighed, and the wolf wagged his tail.  “Something about following a Wasp, maybe.”

 

Wasp? she asked, and the wolf yawned.

 

“Wasp,” she said aloud, “I think.”

 

Kai looked down at the cup in her hands, at the way her fingers clenched around it.  Drinking their tea, telling them her name, the wolf's name, it felt like losing, like they were getting the upper hand.  She wanted them to go away, to leave her alone.  But they wouldn't.  They were meddlers.  They had come, uninvited and they would probably do other things she did not wish. 

 

“I know you want me to eat, but I can't," she said, trying to sound honest and not like a whiny child.  "Not right now.  I think I'd sick up.”  Kai relaxed her grip on the cup.  She brought it up to her mouth and breathed in the steam, trying to let the scent calm her frayed nerves.  If she wanted to get the upper hand, emotional outbursts wouldn't win her any points.  She needed to be calm and rational. 

 

“So,” she said, looking at Rhya and Owen in turn, “other than for me to eat, what do you want of me?”

[WhiteWolf]

    “We do not want anything of you. We are here to offer you our help, if that is what you want. If you do not want our help we will leave. It will pain us to do so, as there then would only be one outcome of what you are going through. That would not be something we would wish on our worst enemies.”

    Owen was trying not to be over dramatic, that would be the last thing that was needed in a situation like this. However, he was not going to sugar coat the situation that Kailani found herself in, that would go against everything he believed.

    “I know it is hard to accept right now, but all of us who live in the Stedding have gone through exactly what you are going through now.” Sensing the disbelief in her, Owen just smiled and looked over to Rhya, winking at her to try and lighten the sternness he was sensing from her. She was obviously growing weary with the girl’s reluctance to trust them. This was one area that Owen easily out stripped Rhya, he could be just as bull headed as anyone they were likely to meet. What Kailani did not realise was that Owen would not take no for an answer, her fate was virtually sealed from the first moment they met. He would not force her to come with them, but he would make her leave them if that was what she wanted. Neither Owen nor Rhya would chase her away and there was a good chance that if she did leave them they would follow her and continue to convince her to accompany them.

    “The choice is yours to make Kailani, we are here to provide you with your options and try and show you the right path. Only you can take the first steps along that path. We can accompany you, but we will not force you to walk with us.”