[COL] Hax's Guide to German Girls.

[Haxorsist]

This week-end I got a chance to try something I can't normally do. Picking up a German chick.

 

Let's start with what you have to do first. Spotting the German. Now I have no idea how to do this. I just started talking to some girl and she happened to be German. Score. I guess if she's wearing a t-shirt that says "I'm German" she might be German. Or she could be speaking very loudly in German. But she might just be a non-German who happens to know German. I guess you just have to ask.

 

Ok, you've found one, now you have to get the conversation going, preferably in a language she can understand. I learned that there are some things you shouldn't do:

 

1. Even if the Germans are a beer-loving people, German girls (the one German chick I met) aren't fond of guys who are too drunk. For example, if the only reason you sat down with her is that you were having trouble standing, you might've been too drunk. This one is the most important one, because if you're not too drunk, you'll probably not make the other mistakes.

 

2. This is not an appropriate conversation:

You: I think the German language is beautiful.

Her: Oh? I don't really think so.

You: Why don't you speak some German and let me decide.

Her: *speaking German*

You: *laughing hysterically* Yeah, you were right. That was just terrible! *more laughing*

 

This might lead to her thinking you're an asshole.

 

3. Don't ask her whereabout in France she's from. Remember, she's German. This is especially important if she's not too fond of the French.

 

Let's move on to the things you should talk about.

 

Unfortunately I got nothing. The girl I was really hanging out with came back and I had to leave. To be honest, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have found anything to write here anyway.

 

That's all for now. If I meet someone of a different nationality, I'll be sure to write another helpful guide. ;)

[GrandpaG]

Nice title.

[Dunbar]

I know a german woman, but she's about 45 and the mother of my biest friend

 

hmmmmm!

[Majsju]

I had a brief afair with a German lass a few years ago. Good times.

[Cadsuane]

Maj, dressing your blow up doll in this costume does not count as an affair with a German lass.

[Corki]

I always thought you avoided German girls because of their hairy armpits...

[Haxorsist]

In my experience, that's Italian girls.

[Cadsuane]

I heard it was the French. *nods*

[Majsju]

I do not mind hairy armpits, as long as it is not long enough to braid.

I definitly prefer a bit of hair over a bit of silicon.

 

Cads, when I asked her to wear such a dress she threatened to break my nose ;D

 

[Dunbar]

Braided underarm hair

 

o_o