Friends?

[Edvar alGiven]

Alright, heres the question. If you were in a meaningful relationship, and your significant other had a friend, of the opposite sex, stay the night at their house and sleep in their bed with them, no matter what the circumstances were, would you be jealous or upset? Or would you trust your partner?

[Alys Kinch]

probably not. there are other places than the bed for one or the other to choose to sleep.

[Edvar alGiven]

lol, that wasn't the question, though I personally completely agree. I would rather sleep on the floor myself than in bed with someone who was not my partner.

[Kadere]

I would be jealous and upset. It's pretty innappropriate for them to both be sleeping in the same bed.

[Majsju]

If I did not trust my partner, she would not be my partner.

[Guest leebarr]

Yes upset

[Shendare]

There are only two reasons I could think of for a significant other and a friend of the opposite sex to actually want to sleep together in the same bed knowing the significant other has a significant other.

 

1) For intimacy (sexual, emotional, whatever)

 

2) To test the absent person's level of trust

 

Neither of these reasons is a good one, in my opinion.

 

As for #1: The kind of intimacy shared in bed between people who have any biological chance whatsoever of sexual attraction should be shared between the significant others, not just "friends". If the person's not getting the intimacy they need from their significant other, then there are some major problems in the relationship that need addressed immediately.

 

As for #2: If a person feels they have to put their significant other's level of trust to the test in such a way as that, which can potentially cause real, permanent emotional damage, I feel they have some personal problems they need to deal with. I'm not going to set my significant other's favorite pet up against a wall and say "Honey, go into another room. I'm going to throw these half-dozen knives at your pet there against the wall. You trust me not to hurt it, right?" An extreme example, of course, but it conveys the point. There's absolutely no call to risk that much emotional pain to prove a point.

 

I will also admit ahead of time that I may potentially be more emotionally connected to such a hypothetical discussion than the average person, since my ex-girlfriend and I broke up after three years together after she became pregnant "on accident" from "just a friend".

[Kaznen]

The situation you gave I would say, no, not all right.  If your significant other has a little sleep over the friend should take the couch or floor.  More a matter of respect then trust.

 

If they went out of town for business or a convention, funeral, wedding, concert, ect. and they get a split the cost of a hotel room that only has one bed, then I wouldn't have a problem with it (I hope).

 

But the slumber party you described isn't cool.  Even if the friend were gay, it still wouldn't be cool.

[albion1636]

I agree, i would be both upset and angry.

 

Shendare, i'm sorry to hear about your situation man.

[Alys Kinch]

aww, shen! *hugs*

 

and i meant that i probably wouldn't trust my hubby in that situation. jealous, upset, hurt, angry...

[Twilight_Wolf]

In adult relationships, there is really little room for those friends of the opposite sex. Trust aside, it is a matter of respect. I would not spend time alone with a friend of the opposite sex, let alone in the same bed for a sleepover. I think that 90% of women that have guy friends, may actually like them, but most of the guys are just waiting for a fight and a chance to be the provider of revenge sex.

[Thorum]

I don't have a partner yet, but it would probably be like this:

 

If I did not trust my partner, she would not be my partner.