Lor's Comfy Couch

[U4ea]

Let me start this thread by making sure you understand that I am not a professional counselor. If that's what you're after, please find someone who is. It's been my experience that when you think it's that serious... it probably is.

 

What I am is a 34 year old mother of two, who has been with the same guy since I was 19 and who spends her day with fourth and fifth graders. I have an older brother, a younger sister and a good head on my shoulders. If you're after big sister kind of advice, I will be happy to help out!

 

So, what can I help you with?

[Ryrin]

Let me start this thread by making sure you understand that I am not a professional counselor. If that's what you're after, please find someone who is. It's been my experience that when you think it's that serious... it probably is.

 

What I am is a 34 year old mother of two, who has been with the same guy since I was 19 and who spends her day with fourth and fifth graders. I have an older brother, a younger sister and a good head on my shoulders. If you're after big sister kind of advice, I will be happy to help out!

 

So, what can I help you with?

 

 

Hmmm. let me think..... I help folks all day so it is nice to have someone available to me.

[Ryrin]

I'm exhausted trying to do it all. Sigh.

[U4ea]

Same here. How much planning do you do to organize your day? I need to do more (like getting some things ready the night before, so there's less running around in the morning), myself, so I'm looking for options, too.

 

What do you think is the most demanding if your daily routine?

[twinflower]

*plops down on the couch*

 

Well Sistertwin, the problem is my Bill, of course!

 

I am interested/fascinated by the paranormal and enjoy watching many of the shows on TV about the paranormal, like Ghost Hunters; Ghost Adventures; Paranormal State, just to name a few. The thing is, my Bill is very scathing and insulting about my interest in them , and ruins the shows with his comments. He complains about having to watch the shows, if he is home when they are on. I'm not trying to force him to be interested in the paranormal or like it, I understand it isn't his thing and that's fine.

 

Thing is...his interests are old trucks and cars, and a passion for war history, which isn't my thing at all! BUT-we watch a lot of shows about this stuff, and i have learned quite a bit. I do complain about it sometimes, specially after it's been on for three or four hours! But, we have also had many great discussions about this stuff, because I do watch and ask questions about things I didn't understand or why some things were done the way they were.

 

I would like the same consideration for my interests as I give him. I've tried to explain this to him, and that ends up in an arguement sort of, or more about how I am forcing him to watch "evil" shows that are silly and in no way about reality.

 

Any suggestions?

[U4ea]

How about episodes where your interest and his collide? Ghost Hunters did a show at Pearl Harbor, for example. Would he try that?

[twinflower]

Oh yeah, he liked the Pearl Harbor episode, and all the ones they do of ships, historic locations like the Schloss Mill...but his enthusiasm is for the location and information about the location! He still makes snide comments about the evidence and personal experiences. Bill positive they are fake and set up, since it is TV and a reality show.

 

I know a lot of this has to do with his Baptist upbringing and faith, but he usually isn't so closed minded! He believes in good and evil, and that Angels and Demons exist, but we don't see them. He argued that if these guys can find evidence of Demons..why don't they ever have evidence of Angels, like when the supposed 'spirits' crossover?

 

I think this, for me, is really an issue about respect. One of those things that was said once, and becomes an ongoing catch line we have shared since before we were married is Bill saying, "I like the way you think!". When it comes to the paranormal, that obviously doesn't apply! I just want the same consideration from him, that I give his interests..the war,cars, dull boring documentaries about everything from Hoover Dam to how cement, candy, engines etc. is made! Some of it IS intersting IS interesting, but even the ones that aren't, I don't talk over the tv so he can't hear the show or complain the entire time it is on, or sulk. All things he does!

 

LOL! I don't even think a ball bat to the head would work! I've tried talking to him, with no success, maybe writing it out in a letter?

[U4ea]

I doubt the letter would work, either, to be honest. Perhaps it's just one of those "agree to disagree" things that you just have to deal with. I recommend avoidance, so it's not perceived as a lack of respect...

[Ryrin]

Same here. How much planning do you do to organize your day? I need to do more (like getting some things ready the night before, so there's less running around in the morning), myself, so I'm looking for options, too.

 

What do you think is the most demanding if your daily routine?

 

My job. I really can't plan for much other than my appointments or IEP's. There is always some crisis coming up. My caseload has dually diagnosed clients, those with both developmental disabilities and psychiatric disorders. Hard to plan there.

 

Also, I find it hard to shop and plan for meals during the week due to lack of time.

[Ryrin]

Oh yeah, he liked the Pearl Harbor episode, and all the ones they do of ships, historic locations like the Schloss Mill...but his enthusiasm is for the location and information about the location! He still makes snide comments about the evidence and personal experiences. Bill positive they are fake and set up, since it is TV and a reality show.

 

I know a lot of this has to do with his Baptist upbringing and faith, but he usually isn't so closed minded! He believes in good and evil, and that Angels and Demons exist, but we don't see them. He argued that if these guys can find evidence of Demons..why don't they ever have evidence of Angels, like when the supposed 'spirits' crossover?

 

I think this, for me, is really an issue about respect. One of those things that was said once, and becomes an ongoing catch line we have shared since before we were married is Bill saying, "I like the way you think!". When it comes to the paranormal, that obviously doesn't apply! I just want the same consideration from him, that I give his interests..the war,cars, dull boring documentaries about everything from Hoover Dam to how cement, candy, engines etc. is made! Some of it IS intersting IS interesting, but even the ones that aren't, I don't talk over the tv so he can't hear the show or complain the entire time it is on, or sulk. All things he does!

 

LOL! I don't even think a ball bat to the head would work! I've tried talking to him, with no success, maybe writing it out in a letter?

 

Just you follow your interest and he follow his. Ignore his disparaging remarks. I too find some of the things you mentioned very interesting. There is so much knowledge that we lack and so many possibilities. Have you ever heard of "String Theory?"

[U4ea]

I set aside a few hours on Sunday to clip coupons, organize them, plan my menu and go shopping. Have you tried making it a part of your weekly routine, Ryrin?

[Ryrin]

I set aside a few hours on Sunday to clip coupons, organize them, plan my menu and go shopping. Have you tried making it a part of your weekly routine, Ryrin?

 

 

Yes, it's just that I already do teach religious school that day, do laundry, tidy up the house etc. and don't want to spend my whole day on chores. Saturday is my day of rest so I guese it will have to be Sunday as I hate to go to the store during the work week.

[U4ea]

Sunday is usually the best day, since it's the first day of the new sales for most chain stores. You're more likely to beat the shelf clearers that way. I have the same problem during the week, so Sunday is grocery day unless something weird happens. :D

[Ryrin]

Sunday is usually the best day, since it's the first day of the new sales for most chain stores. You're more likely to beat the shelf clearers that way. I have the same problem during the week, so Sunday is grocery day unless something weird happens. :D

 

 

I try Sunday am when folks are in church.

[U4ea]

That one works, too. Of course, people are going to church at weird times around here, so it's hard to gauge when good times are.

 

 

Then again, getting my husband up and out before noon is a job. LOL