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The Princess Bride

Aiel Heart

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This is mainly for the mafia people who haven't seen it. Those of you who have, if I happen to leave out an important line, just bug me and I'll edit it. Trying to type fast as I watch this.


Or you can just go to the online movie script that I found halfway through the movie (mine's shorter and has some movie clips though ;P )

Edited by Aiel Heart
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His mom comes in and says that his grandfather is here to visit this kid who is apparently sick.


And since people will yell at me if I leave this out, the kid says that he hates having his cheeks pinched, and the grandfather always does it. His mom says maybe he won't and the grandfather promptly comes in and pinches the kid's cheek.

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Then the grandfather says that he brought the kid something.


The Grandson: A book?

Grandpa: That's right. When I was your age, television was called books. And this is a special book. It was the book my father used to read to me when I was sick, and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you.

The Grandson: Has it got any sports in it?

Grandpa: Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles...

The Grandson: Doesn't sound too bad. I'll try to stay awake.

Grandpa: Oh, well, thank you very much, very nice of you. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming.

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Wesley had no money for marriage, so he went to find his fortune elsewhere. Before he left, Buttercup was worried that something would happen to him.


Westley: Hear this now: I will always come for you.

Buttercup: But how can you be sure?

Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day?


(yes I'm cheating on some of these quotes--I don't like having to pause the movie :P )


and his ship was attacked by the Dread Pirate Roberts, who never left captives alive.


(to which the kid responds "Murdered by pirates is good")

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Five years later, Prince Humperdinck announced that his bride would be the Princess Buttercup.


She did not love him, and was consumed by emptiness, but the Prince had the right to choose his bride. He said she'd grow to love him.


Her only joy was in her daily ride

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One day, while she was on one such ride, she met three strangers. A short fat bald man (Vizzini), a Spaniard of medium height with shoulder length black hair and a mustache (Inigo Montoya) and a giant man (Fezzik).


Vizzini: A word, my lady. We are but poor, lost circus performers. Is there a village nearby?

Buttercup: There is nothing nearby... Not for miles.

Vizzini: Then there will be no one to hear you scream.

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Fezzik puts his hand on her and she passes out. Vizzini puts a ripped piece of a Guilderian soldier's uniform on her horse and sends her off.


He announces that the prince will suspects the people of Guilder have abducted his love and that when her body is found on the Guilder frontier it will confirm it.


Inigo and Fezzik don't like that Buttercup is going to be killed and Vizzini goes bezerk on them

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They get on a small ship and Vizzini waddles off to do something


Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can *fuss*.

Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at *us*.

Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no *harm*.

Fezzik: He's really very short on *charm*.

Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.

Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.

Vizzini: Enough of that.

Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?

Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead.

Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it.

Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?


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Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody's follow' us?

Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. - Out of curiosity, why do you ask?

Inigo Montoya: No reason. It's only... I just happened to look behind us and something is there.

Vizzini: What? Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters...

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Grandpa: She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time

The Grandson: What?

Grandpa: The eel doesn't get her. I'm explaining to you because you look nervous.

The Grandson: I wasn't nervous.

[Grandpa gives him a look]

The Grandson: Maybe I was a little bit "concerned" but that's not the same thing.

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Fade to the next morning. The other boat is very close to them now.


Inigo Montoya: He's right on top of us. I wonder if he is using the same wind we are using.


then Vizzini points out that they have reached the Cliffs of Insanity

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Inigo is very impatient about having to wait


Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you could speed things up?

Man in Black: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.

Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.

Man in Black: That does put a damper on our relationship.

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