From human to property

[Niniel]

Tovinia picked up the pieces of the shattered vase from the tavern floor. She cursed as she cut herself on the glass. Her father had one of those days again. He had called her all sorts of names because she had picked flowers to put on the tables and had “accidentally” pushed one of the vases to the floor. He didn´t think that the guests would bother to look at them and that she could do something useful instead. She knew better than to argue with him. Today he jelled at her for doing to much but tomorrow he would tell her that she was too lazy and didn´t work hard enough. He would probably blame her for destroying one of the few vases of glass they owned too. Tovinia sighed. Her father was probably right; the guest would never notice the flowers anyway. Their guests came to the tavern to get something to eat, get drunk, harass the waitresses and maybe get into a fight. Why had she decided to get up early in the morning and pick those flowers? She had to think before she could answer the question. She hated the tavern and she hated the shabby guests with their shabby hands but she felt some sort of pride in doing a good job. No one would appreciate it but she felt good knowing that she was doing her best. Despite what her father said, she had never been lazy. He had made sure she knew how to work.

 

Tovinia looked at the flowers. There was another reason for why she had picked them today but that was a secret she would never let anyone know. For a second her face got soft and her mind floated away. She was too old for daydreaming but the last weeks events had given her a lot to dream about. Tonight she would meet him again and although she would never tell anyone about their love she wanted a little bit of her emotions to show in the tavern. When she had picked those flowers she had thought about him and she had let herself take a short pause from reality.

 

A load noise from the alley outside woke her up and her eyes got cold again. Her father hurried to the door and she followed him. A group of seanchans were approaching. Before she lowered her eyes she could see that there were both soldiers and sul´dams among them. She noticed a damane too. Maybe it wasn´t necessary to look down but you could never know with these intruders. Their customs were almost as strange as the creatures that they had brought from the land beyond the ocean and to violate any of their laws would be certainly painful. She was surprised to see the seanchans in this part of the town. As long as people promised to obey, wait and serve they were mostly allowed to live the way they had before the seanchans arrived and this alley was not one you visited if you didn´t have to. The seanchans spread out in the alley and one of the soldiers turned to her father. " In the name of the Empress, may she live forever, we order every girl and woman out of your house" he said in that strange accent. Her father hurried into the tavern to get the waitresses. In a few minutes he was back with them. One of them was dressed sloppy and Tovinia guessed that her father had just woken her up. The other one dried her hands on her apron. Both of them stared at their feet but Tovinia could see fear in their eyes. Tovinia wasn´t afraid but just to be on the safety side she reminded herself of the oaths. Obey, wait and serve. Obey, wait and serve.

 

After some more minutes everyone from the houses had come out in the alley. All of the girls and women where ordered to stand in a line. One of the sul´dams started to speak but Tovinia didn´t understand everything she said. They had been gathered for some sort of test? One of the other suld´dams approached the first girl in the row. Tovinia glanced at her. When the sul´dam put the a´dam around the girls neck she suddenly understood what was going on. They were looking for women that could channel. Tovinia gave a sigh of relief. She knew what they did to the Aes Sedais and it was horrible but no one in this street was an Aes Sedai and they would have nothing to fear. The sul´dam shook her head and released the first girl from the a´dam. Then she moved on to the next. The other sul´dams looked at her eagerly but again she shook her head. Slowly the sul´dams got closer to Tovinia. One after one they asked the girls some questions and then put the a´dam around their necks but nothing seemed to happen. Finally it was her turn…

[Niniel]

The sul´dam that seemed to be in charge approached her. "Have you taken the oaths?" Tovinia nodded. "I live to obey, wait and serve", she said in a calm voice. "We will see about that", the sul´dam mumbled. Even though she stood right in front of Tovinia it was still hard to understand her. "How old is she", the sul´dam asked and turn to Sevelf. "She is 14." "Are you her father?" Sevelf nodded. "And have you taken the oaths?" Sevelf looked nervous and stuttered as he repeated the oaths. The sul´dam eyed both of them and then she waved at the sul´dam that was holding the a´dam. She walked over to Tovinia and put the a´dam around her neck. Tovinia continued to look at her feet. The a´dam felt slightly cold and she shivered. If they only could get this over with. The testing had taken some time and there were still five more girls after her that would be tested. She would have to work faster when she got inside, otherwise her father would blame her for not doing her job properly again. Somehow everything was always her fault. She had learn how to cope with her father´s anger but that didn´t mean she looked forward to it.

 

"We have found one", the sul´dam with the a´dam said. Her voice sounded weird, like she was excited and disgusted at the same time. "Excellent", the head sul´dam said with a proud voice. She turned to Sevelf. "In the name of the Empress, May she live forever, we herby claim this damane as a property of the Emperss, May she live forever." Tovinia looked up. What was happening? Why did they call her a damane? Why wasn´t she released? The sul´dam started to walk away with her. "What are you doing?", Tovinia asked puzzled. The sul´dam stopped and looked at her. It was a look that you would give to a child when you had to explain things that a child wouldn´t understand. "You will not be one of mine but I will give you this quick lesson. You are not to question your sul´dam and you must not look her in the eyes." She smiled and patted Tovinia on the cheek. She patted her like she was a puppy! "But this is clearly some sort of mistake! Release me!" The sul´dam smiled and patted her on the head this time. "I said that you should not question your sul´dam and you will not look at her."

Suddenly Tovinia realized that this was for real. Somehow they had mistaken her for someone else and they were not going to let her go. As the sul´dam started to walk again an anger grabbed hold of Tovinia. Without thinking she hit the sul´dam right in the face. As she did she suddenly felt a massive pain in her head. The pain was so intense that she fell to the ground. Screaming she hold her head in her hands. Tears started to flow down her cheeks. She could hear other screaming too. One was the sul´dam and the other one was… her father? She could not focus on the voices because the pain filled her whole body now. It felt like someone was beating her over and over again. She tried to get up on her knees and crawl away but the pain didn´t stop, it only became worse. It felt like she was on fire. She was going to die. They would kill her right her, right now. Her last thought was that she would miss her meeting with her love tonight…

 

She woke up and first she didn´t know where she was. The pain was still there but not so intense as it had been. She was surprised to see that she still lay on the ground in front of the tavern. The sul´dam sat on her knees beside her. Again she patted her on the head. "You have now learned your second lesson. You must not ever hurt your sul´dam. Is it understood?" Tovinia nodded and tried to wipe away her tears. The pain in her head still remained but the pain she had felt in the rest of her body has disappeared. "Stand up", the sul´dam ordered her. Tovinia couldn´t but obey. When the sul´dam started to walk she followed her. They stopped in front of yet another sul´dam. "I fear this one will be tough to tame", the first sul´dam said. But I know that you have succeeded where many have failed so I trust you will do fine. I could feel that this one has great potential." The sul´dam took of her bracelet and handed it to the new sul´dam. Although Tovinia was still dizzy she realized that this might be her only chance to escape. Quickly she snatched the leash and started to run. In the corner of her eye she could see her father lying on the ground with a seanchan soldier standing beside him. Was he hurt? Before she could continue that thought she fell to the ground and she heard the click when someone put on the bracelet. Then the pain began again…

[Kathleen]

Gian woke with the sun and readied for the day quickly. Today would be another long day of looking for damane. They had taken the city not long before but the soldiers were already doing well to control it. Some people tried to defy them, they always did, but they always learned. It didn't concern Gian, they would come around in time. What did concern her was knowing there were marath'damane out there. Too many of them. Today she was determined to change that. Even if they found a handful.

 

She joined a group of Sul'dam who were going out to test the girls. The city had had time to learn of their presence and to accept their oaths so the testing came easily enough when they called the girls to line up. Why the townsfolk shook with fear when they saw the Seanchan walking in the street was beyond Gian. So long as they made their vow and did as they were told these people had no reason to fear them. Yet they all seemed to act as if they'd have a knife in their back if they sneezed. Let them shake, it was not her concern.

 

They stopped every few blocks calling the girls out of their houses to be tested, but they rarely ever found what they were looking for. Gian wasn't sure if she should be pleased that this town wasn't overflowing with marath'damane or displeased that her team didn't have much to show for their time here. They were the best of the best Sul'dam in Seachan and she knew this land was running rampant with them. She was starting to feel like she was failing at her mission when they'd go out in the morning testing and end the day with so few damane.

 

The group stopped in the middle of street and the soldiers called the girls out. People rushed through the houses, some running out to see what was going on and some running into the house to get out of the eye of the Seanchan. The people fumbled on the streets trying to figure out what they were supposed to be doing.

 

One by one the line got smaller. Gian waited as another sul'dam tested the girls. She was simply there to handle the newly collared girls as the testing continued. The line was dwindling and Gian was getting rather bored waiting. She had just about given up hope when she was surprised to hear they had found one. Gian's eyes came to alert as she looked the girl over as the sul'dam who had tested her brought her over.

 

She hadn't been expecting the scene that came next, but she didn't step in to stop it either. The other sul'dam would be able to handle it, but Gian knew this unruly damane would end up with her. She always seemed to get the problem cases, but she took that as compliment on her training. This one would learn. Gian's damane always learned.

 

When the damane rose from the ground and the other sul'dam lead her over, Gian gave the girl an almost sympathetic look. She had grown up knowing about these tests, expecting them. This poor damane must have been so scared and confused. Gian would calm her and explain it all to her. This one would be fine once she was calmed. As if reading her mind the sul'dam who held the girl's leash spoke to Gina, "I fear this one will be tough to tame, but I know that you have succeeded where many have failed so I trust you will do fine. I could feel that this one has great potential." As she slipped the bracelet off of her wrist and held it out for Gian, the damane grabbed it and tried to run back down the road.

 

Gian didn't call out for help or chase after her. She just stood and watched the girl. It wasn't long before she fell to the ground. Gian almost wanted to wait for the girl to call out for her help, but she didn't think it would come. The poor thing probably had no idea what was going on. Gian walked calmly over to and squatted down over her as she tried to take the bracelet from the girl's hand. The girl clenched it still, with white knuckles she held onto it as if her life depended on it.

 

"Give me the bracelet. I can make it better." She tried to take it again and while the grip was lighter she was still holding on. "Give me the bracelet!" Gian demaned, in a calm, quiet voice. The girl didn't truely give it but Gian had pulled it out of her hands by this point. She put the bracelet on her right arm and sent a wave of pain to the girl. Not too much, as the girl would be in enough pain just from having run, but made it worse to emphasis her words.

 

"You were told to listen. I told you to give me that bracelet. You will listen to me in the future." She let up and helped the girl sit up. Gian wiped the tears that had begun to roll from the cheeks and in a caring tone spoke, "Come now, you have much to learn, but I will teach you."

 

*******

 

Gian led the girl back to her room at the inn that had become her temporary home. The small room would have less distractions and a more calming feel for girl as she learned of how her life was changed. The girl was hesitant to leave but as they walked up the street the tension on the leash grew less and less as the girl stopped fighting.

 

When they got into the room Gian led the girl to a small chair and patted the coushined seat as she spoke, "Have a seat here, dear." The girl looked confused, defiant and scared, but Gian tried to comfort her, "It's alright, you're safe now. But I am very disappointed in your behaviour today. You have much to learn, but you seem to have found a lot out the hard way this morning. Given that, I will forgive your outburst. Let us start again shall we?" Gian paused as if to reaffirm a new start.

 

"Best to find out we are starting from. Let us see how smart of a girl you are. Tell me, what have you learned from your actions today? Do you have any questions? Don't worry, if you are confused by anything I will explain it." Gian waited patiently for the girl to answer.

 

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

Edited October 20, 2011 by Kathleen
Added part two

[Niniel]

It hurt, it hurt so much and suddenly the pain was almost gone. The sul´dam looked at her and smiled. Then she started to walk. Tovinia couldn´t do anything but to follow. She turned around one last time to see her dad but it was too much people in the way. As they walked she saw people looking her way curiously but she didn´t dare to scream for help. All emotions were overwhelming and it felt like she wasn´t able to think. She realized that she was scared. When was the last time she had been scared? She couldn´t even remember. Although the pain had been horrible that was not what scared her. It was the look in the sul´dams eyes - and her voice. "You will listen to me in the future". It was not a threat, she was saying it like there were no doubt that it would happen.

 

The sul´dam took her to a small room in an inn. "It's alright, you're safe now. But I am very disappointed in your behaviour today. You have much to learn, but you seem to have found a lot out the hard way this morning. Given that, I will forgive your outburst. Let us start again shall we?" It was like she was talking to a little kid that didn´t know what was best for her. Tovinia shivered. "Best to find out we are starting from. Let us see how smart of a girl you are. Tell me, what have you learned from your actions today? Do you have any questions? Don't worry, if you are confused by anything I will explain it."

 

Tovinia took a deep breath and looked the sul´dam in the eyes. "There must be some kind of mistake. Are you not looking for the Aes Sedai? I´m not one of them." Her voice didn´t sound like it used too. She cleared her throat and forced herself to calm down. "I have done nothing to deserve this. People say that you seanchan are fair... Let me go."

[Kathleen]

"There must be some kind of mistake. Are you not looking for the Aes Sedai? I´m not one of them. I have done nothing to deserve this. People say that you seanchan are fair... Let me go." The girl stared her in the eye and pleaded as she spoke. At the mention of Aes Sedai, Gian could almost feel her blood boil. She sent a wave of pain through the a'dam but when the girl yelped in surprise Gian stopped. She was trying to gain the girls trust to make teaching her come easier. She was not going punish the girl for doing things she did not know she shouldn't do.

 

"Lower you eyes, before you lower mine. You're eyes are not to meet mine. Ever. It seems we start from nothing, but perhaps that means we must only build up, not tear down." So much trouble this one was proving to be. This girl would be half dead if she was with another sul'dam, but Gian was not another. With patience she would make this one into a good damane yet.

 

"There is much you must learn, and now I will teach you. I will only explain this once so pay attention. If I have to remind you of these lessons, I will remind you in much the same manor you had your first lessons explained this morning." Gian grasped the chain of the a'dam for emphasis, but did not send anything through it. "You will do well to listen more closely to me." Gian took a breath and crossed her hands the blue skirts of her dress.

 

"There has been no mistake. You are a Damane. You will not ever speak of this term," Gian paused, fighting her tongue to spit the word out, "Aes Sedai, again. There are only marath'damane, those who must be leashed. The damane, leashed ones, such as yourself. And Sul'dam, the holders of the leash, such as myself. The test is very thorough, and is never wrong. The sooner you accept this, the better your life will be."

 

Gian didn't give the girl time to protest as she continued the lesson. "The collar around your neck is connected to this bracelet on my wrist, as you can see. This is called an A'dam. It will keep you safe and stop you from causing too much trouble. Through this a'dam we are connected. If you do something you should not, I can use this a'dam to correct your behaviour. As you have already learned, any pain that is inflicted to the Sul'dam will pass through the a'dam and the pain will be doubled onto you. So, you must never try to harm the one who holds this bracelet, and you must protect them from harm, even more than you would yourself. If not, you will have a fate worse than that of the Sul'dam. Even to death."

 

She paused to make sure the girl was still attentive, and once again continued before the girl could speak, "This a'dam can do much more. As you have already learned, trying to run away is futile. If you take this bracelet from where a Sul'dam has left it, well, you felt the crippling pain of that on the street earlier. Rest assured it will happen every time. Before you try it, the same will happen if you try to remove the collar.

 

The a'dam isn't all pain and restraint though. It is much more. Through the connection, the sul'dam can feel the damane. I can feel all that you feel as you feel it. When you are frightened, I will know it. When you are happy, I will know it, and so on for all emotions. Through this a'dam I can send sensations to you. When you do well I will reward you with pleasant sensations. When you do not do well, you will be punished much like you were earlier. How much punishment you receive is up to how well you listen and obey.

 

If you are a good girl, you can have a very good life. It is better to accept your place then try to fight it. It is a fight you cannot win. You are what you are. The best thing you do is listen well, and be the best damane you can be. Your life has changed today, but it has not ended. Do you understand this?" This time Gian did pause and waited for the girl to answer.

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

I will not kill my new damane...I will not kill my new damane...I will not kill my new damane.

Edited October 26, 2011 by Kathleen

[Niniel]

Tovinia lowered her eyes as she listened to the woman. She had a hard time to believe what she heard. Could the sul´dam do all that with the a´dam? She doubted that the woman was sane but at the same time she had felt the pain and knew that at least one of the things she had heard was true. "The sooner you accept this, the better your life will be." The words echoed in her head. Wasn´t it the same lesson that her father had taught her? She had learned her place and had lost her childish hope that something, anything, would happen in her life. Until she fell in love with Keire... Keire, who she would have met tonight. Would he miss her? Would he come looking for her? Would he try to save her? Tovinia shivered again. All the questions, thoughts and feelings were too much for her. And in front of her sat a crazy woman who seemed to think she could train her as a dog. What was she going to do? The answer was clear - pretend. Wasn´t it what she was best at anyway? Accept and pretend. Maybe someone would release her later, maybe the insane sul´dam would realize she was wrong about her (although she doubted it), maybe it was all a bad dream she would wake up from, but until then she was going to pretend and accept.

 

"Do you understand this?" The words had been hanging in the air while Tovinia´s was struggling to calm down. She nodded without looking at the sul´dam. "Yes, I understand." She realized that she didn´t know the proper way to address the sul´dam and added "What may I call you?"

[Kathleen]

The girl looked of compliance, but Gian could feel the determined resistance within her. That would change. When the girl finally did answer her question she continued on with a question of her own. The smile left the Sul'dam's face. The girl now knew she was damane, now to teach her what that meant. The damane on this side of the ocean really were so ignorant! But that didn't mean they couldn't be taught. Gian's tone became quite stern and reprimanding. "I asked you if you understood what I had said. I did not tell you to speak anything else. You will not speak unless you are spoken to, and then you are only to speak to what has been asked of you." The sul'dam stood up and turned from the girl, "Come." It was a gentle command, but it was clearly a command. Gian moved to a chest on far side of the room, almost pulling the girl out of her seat before she finally rose and followed.

 

The chest opened and Gian rooted through it for a moment before pulling out a simple grey dress. "This is the dress of a Damane. You will put it on and you will not destroy it. No tugging or messing it up." Gian handed the dress to the girl who began to look around the room confused. "You may change here. Do you need help?"

 

When the girl was dressed Gian lead to her a full length mirror and stood behind her smoothing out her hair. "There, that is better." Gian's reflection smiled out at the girl. "Now, I will answer your earlier question. I should have introduced myself earlier, but I was too concerned about calming you. I am Gian, but you will call me 'Mistress'. I suppose you'll need a name too." Gian stared into the mirror at the girl's face, thinking of a name. She could see the girl about to say something and she sternly shook her head at the mirror. The girl closed her mouth. "Siril." Gian smiled. "You are Siril."

 

Gian placed her hands on the girls shoulders and let Siril take herself in.

 

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

[Niniel]

Tovinia got dressed. Normally she would have felt embarrassed to change clothes in front of someone else but she had turned off her emotions. It was an ability that she had learned long ago when she was a child. Accept and pretend, accept and pretend... The sul´dam forced her to look in the mirror. The grey dress was plain and dull but it fitted her quite good. It was not the dress that caught her eyes though, it was her own face. Her eyes where swollen after all the tears and she had a big bruise on her chin. She could see dried blood in some of her braids. Maybe she had hit her head when she fell?

 

"Now, I will answer your earlier question. I should have introduced myself earlier, but I was too concerned about calming you. I am Gian, but you will call me 'Mistress'. I suppose you'll need a name too." Tovinia looked at Gian in the mirror but immediately looked away. She was about to say that she already had a name but she kept quiet. "Siril." Gian smiled. "You are Siril." Tovinia opened her mouth ones more but she was speechless. Even if she had been allowed to talk she wouldn´t have know what to say. She looked at her reflection. She was Tovinia! The insane woman couldn´t take away her name. She took a deep breath. But maybe it would be easier to pretend if they called her another name? She could store Tovinia in the back of her head until she got free. Until then she could pretend to be Siril.

 

Tovinia turned away from the mirror. Gian cleared her throat but didn´t say anything. Was she supposed to say something? "Yes mistress. That is a good name. I´m Siril."

 

 

 

Siril

Damane

[Kathleen]

"I'm Siril?" Gian laughed mockingly. "Look at that, my silly damane thinks she's the sul'dam! Every damane knows she only uses her own name to address herself." Gian's facial features dropped to straight seriousness as she sent a burning sensation all over the girl's body. It wasn't enough to scar her, just enough to give a very unpleasant feel and get the girls attention. She would associate it with being bad, at least that was the plan. "You will not play at pretending to be a Sul'dam. You are a damane. You are Siril, and nothing more." The sensation stopped abruptly and Gian continued, "Now, tell me what a silly girl you were, Siril, pretending at being a sul'dam." Gian waited to hear the girl answer her.

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

[Niniel]

Tovinia shivered as she felt the pain. No, not Tovinia. She was not here anymore. Siril. And Siril had obviously done something wrong. She didn´t understand why she had to talk about herself in third person but it was best to play along. She got more and more convinced that the sul´dam was mentally ill. All of the sul´dams couldn´t be like this, could they? She summond all her powers to sound truthful. "Siril is sorry for her behaviour. Siril is a silly girl. Siril will not act like she is a sul´dam. Siril will try to learn faster." She hoped she got it right.

 

Siril

Damane

[Kathleen]

Gian listened to girl speak the words. She had the tone and the words said correctly but Gian could feel the girl's resistance. She didn't believe what she was saying. She was trying to fake it. This was a common theme in new damane, but Gian couldn't let Siril think she was fooling the sul'dam.

 

She sent another wave of fiery pain over the girl as if she had a whip crashing into her back. "I know when you are just speaking to hear your own voice. I told you I can feel what you are feeling. You will not fool me. Say it, and mean it, Siril." Gian made the girl repeat her words time and time again, each time causing the girl more pain between each time she spoke, until the girl finally seemed to use her name with out struggling over it, as if she had accepted it as the truth, if only for that moment. She was practically pleading, and Gian instantly stopped the pain. It wouldn't be the last time the girl would fight for the life she had before, but it was step closer to breaking her. Siril would know she can't fool Gian, and that was a good enough lesson to start with.

 

"Now let's get you cleaned up. I think you learned quite enough for one day." Gian helped steady the girl. "Go wash your face, I won't take to you the kennels with tear streaked cheeks on your first trip there." The wash stand wasn't far so the girl could get to it without pulling on the chain. When she had cleaned her face up Gian looked her over, then smiled.

 

"Very good, Siril. Come now, I'll take you to your kennel and you can have a rest. Now, you be on your best behaviour while you're there. Do not talk to the other damane, if you see them at all, and you be polite to any Sul'dam who comes by. You remember what I taught you today, and be good!" Gian started for the door and spoke one last command, "Walk just behind me, and do keep up, but do not rush ahead."

 

Gian lead Siril down the hall and to a lower floor of the inn at a swift pace. They stopped outside a door and Gian turned to the girl. "This is where the kennels are. Remember what I said, you are to be good here. Do not cause a scene. Do no speak to anyone unless they tell you to speak to them. You will listen to the sul'dam. You will be a good damane. If I find out you have misbehaved, I will not be pleased. If you do not please me, I will punish you. Do you understand this? Tell me that you will be good, Siril." Gian waited for the girl to answer, and she hoped the girl would keep her word.

 

Gian opened the door and walked Siril down to between each unit until they reached the one that was set aside for Siril. Gian ushered the girl into her new space and hung the bracelet of the a'dam on a hook. The room was set up so that Siril would be able to move around in the space quite freely without needing anyone to move the bracelet. "This is your room." Gian smiled as she told the girl the good news. "You like it, yes? It is your's. Now, get some rest, I will see you in the morning." She gave the damane a stern look to remind her to be on her best behavior and then Gian turned to leave.

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

[Niniel]

The sul´dam was ruthless. She could really feel her emotions. Siril started to understand why the damanes was so obedient. What she didn´t understand was why they didn´t run away. She hadn´t succeeded today but surely there must be some people who where willing to free the enslaved women? She reminded herself that for now she would just play along. It was wonderful to wash in the cold water. Somehow the pain disappeared for a moment. Then it was back again.

 

As she was told she walked behind the sul´dam on the way to the kennel. She was going to a kennel! She was indeed like a dog to them. "Remember what I said, you are to be good here. Do not cause a scene. Do no speak to anyone unless they tell you to speak to them. You will listen to the sul'dam. You will be a good damane. If I find out you have misbehaved, I will not be pleased. If you do not please me, I will punish you. Do you understand this? Tell me that you will be good, Siril." She noticed that her voice trembled as she answered the sul´dam. "Siril will be a good damane."

 

Her room was simple but clean. Finally she was alone. For a second she had thought about trying to run away again but she decided that now was not the time. She felt weak. She wondered if she would be called lazy if she laid down on the bed but she felt like she didn´t had a choise. Her strenght was gone and she just wanted to rest. She laid down on the bed and although she tried not to think about it, pictures from the day popped into her head. How was her father? Would he come for her. She doubted it. What about Keire? Did he know what had happend to her? Would he come for her? Tears began to drop down on her cheeks. She hadn´t cried for many years but today she hadn´t been able to stop it. She was so tired. Surely they would let her go as soon as they noticed that she couldn´t channel? So tired. Please no more pain. So very tired. As the tears wet down her dress she fell asleep...