How many is too many?

[yolindamo]

Wives that is. I had a friend who stopped reading the books and got pretty violently upset about it when it became apparent that Rand was going to be in love with three women and everyone was going to be OK with it. (Well, Min is questionable)

 

Sister-Wives, Multiple bondings, Anyone else have a problem with this?

[racha_giurgiu]

If you want to go and get really technical about it, modern day society with the single wife plan is what is backwards, at least if you subscribe to the Christian bible. Most of the Fathers of the Old testament had multiple wives. Abraham, Isaac, Jacob being prime examples. With as many biblical similarities as there are within WOT it's not unreasonable to take multiple wives as par for the course. Especially with the sister-wives having to approve of each other. The women really have most of the control in Randland when it does come to marriages and they are amenable in most cases to sharing.

 

It's not likeable from my modern day one man one woman marriage standpoint, but it's not as unpleasant as what some people want to make it out to be.

[Kadere]

Plus it's all a fantasy, and it's not exactly advertising managomy as the way to go. Perrin, Lan, Mat and most every other character are in relationships with only one woman. And all three of the female characters get along with it fine. So, eh, I don't see much of a problem.

[KaptainKaos]

This is fantasy... why would someone continue to read without ill comment when the story has super destructive 'power' wielding characters or evil torturing half man half beast creatures and then stop and go "OH NO!!! HE IS GOING TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE WIFE!!!" Come on it's hypocritical to get to what Winter's Heart the tenth book and finally say something isn't morally right here... it just doesn't make any sense.

[Iceman]

This is fantasy...

 

Of course it's fantasy...

You know how much of a pain one wife is, why would you want three?!

 

<runs> :D

[liatildina]

Hmm, having one committed relationship with your spouse - priceless. Trying to keep three women happy at the same time - must have a crazy guy living in your head. It's gotta be Fantasy because in reality three women, three strong, determined, witty, smart women, would eat him alive. He would keep wishing he was back in that box with the guy screaming in his head. But hey, the entire bonding thing is a little like marriage too, or a lot like it, and some of those ladies have chosen many men and seem to be doing just fine.

[edman]

At first, I didn't like it all. Not because it's immoral or anything, I just think it's strange. Now, I couldn't care less. Works well for the story so, eh. But to be honest, I think having a rebirth of Ilyana (sp) would have been good and made sense.

[racha_giurgiu]

No, no, no... Because that would have really been a maddening point for the whole LTT/Rand thing. I considered the rebirth of Ilyena and concluded that would be too cheesy and disrupt too much of the story.

[Luckers]

"Bigamy is having one wife too many... but then, so is monogamy."

Oscar Wilde.

 

Heh, a man after my own heart.

 

Frankly i have no issue with polygamous relationships. On an emotional level its really just a matter of wether all participants are happy, and wether its a relationship of equals. In that sense it really just comes down to the fact that no one has a right to dictate our personal relationships to us. On an economic level its slightly different... monatary advantages and all that, but i see no reason why that should stop people being happy together. There was an episode of ... Boston Legal, i think, where a man had two wives, one who took the role of stay at home mum to all the children while the guy and the other wife worked to support everyone, and it worked.

 

That being said I've participated in polygamous relationships in the past--once with a guy who was also dating a girl who i wasn't dating, and once with a guy and a girl, everyone dating each other. In the end there were issues... petty jealousies and the like... but i suppose the same can be said of most monogamous relationships.

 

Frankly i think Rand's situation works only because they all have focus' of their own, but meh, it DOES work. So who cares.

[Jimmyrun]

I don't really see a problem with it, polygamy or polyandry (one woman and multiple men), as long as the relationship is healthy what’s the problem. I grew up in Utah and still live there now and as many people might know the first settlers in Utah practiced polygamy and the only reason that it stopped being a legal practice was that in order to gain statehood it had to be given up and hence it became against the law to practice polygamy; of course if you are from the states you know about the guys on the borders of Utah, Colorado, and Arizona that still go to town with it.

 

I guess having grown up with it being in my history and having friends with ancestors who practiced polygamy it might be a little easier for me but I don't really see a problem with it. Rand loves Aviendha, Elayne, and Min and if I remember correctly (sometimes the mind doesn't want to work right) they all had a hard time with it at first but as the story goes they realize that they love each other as much as they love Rand, just in a different way; except maybe Aviendha and Min but they haven't had the opportunity to get to know one another.

 

The whole idea of no longer reading the books solely because Rand has three women is a little much but I guess if your friend finds it offensive than he/she has every right to stop reading. I wouldn't want to read something that I found offensive but it also amuses me when people take it to the extreme and get violent about it, like the people who burn Harry Potter books because of the witchcraft. Each person has a right to decide if it is something they want to be exposed to but it does seem a little odd that you would stop reading a book/story for something like that when there are clearly polygamous relationships among the Aiel, gays, lesbians, bisexuals (as stated by RJ), etc. so to use the fact that Rand is in a polygamous relationship as the basis to stop reading seems a little over the top when there are instances of "non-traditional" relationships at other points in the books.

 

Also, it does seem a little extreme that he/she would find fault in Rand’s relationship with Aviendha, Elayne, and Min and not Rhuarc, Amys, and Lian. All we know before seeing Rhuarc with his two wives is that both Elayne and Min have feelings for Rand. It just seems a little weird to me that someone would stop reading the books because they have a problem with Rand in a polygamous relationship with Aviendha, Elayne, and Min and not have a problem with other polygamous relationships among the Aiel.

 

On a side note:

"Bigamy is having one wife too many... but then, so is monogamy."

Oscar Wilde.

 

That's a good one but I subscribe to the old standby of:

 

Women… you can't live with them, you can't live without them.

(Have no idea who first said that)

[yolindamo]

This is completely off subject but something you said grabbed my attention. What has RJ said about the homosexual relationships in the book? I have noticed this in the books but never heard it discussed before.

[Luckers]

He has only ever touched on lesbian relationships to date. He also has treated them as unremarkable. the social setting he has developed seems to include them as a lesser relationship as well.

[Jimmyrun]

The information that I got was from another website FAQ section, to check it out head over to the following link:

 

http://www.wotmania.com/faqtopic.asp?ID=113

 

My whole point in saying it wasn't that they were important just to say that it is a little wierd that someone would stop reading the series for one "non-traditional" relationship and not others.

[yolindamo]

Oh yeah, I got what you were saying. She was an idiot. I was just interested in the homosexual stuff in more detail, but had never seen it discussed.

[Jimmyrun]

Like I said check out that link it had a lot of good information in it. I don't know that I see all of what they say but they have some quotes from RJ and some references to the books.

 

http://www.wotmania.com/faqtopic.asp?ID=113