Slightly absurd modern sayings

[Reyoru]

Obviously sayings and proverbs go back a long way (theres a whole book of them in the Bible), but do you know any MODERN sayings?

 

"If at first you don't succeed.... Destroy all evidence that you ever tried"

 

;D

 

[Talya]

"Life is like a box of chocolates....eat the all the good ones first"

[Reyoru]

^^ Lol. Great movie that was, but the modern version is a bit tweaked  ;D

 

"The road to success..... ... is always under construction"

 

[Talya]

"Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen."

[Talya]

"It's not the size that counts.....oh wait...yes it is"

[Talya]

"Alcohol doesn't solve any problems....but then again neither does Milk"

[Reyoru]

"If you have bunked the class, the professor has taken attendance."

[Talya]

"If at first you don't succeed.....Sky diving is not for you"

[bad company]

That is awesome. Though I have skydived and suceeded

[Talya]

Then you are fortunate, lol, you obviously succeed first time!

[ConQuest]

walking the line is better done sober... but it is more entertaining to others when your obliterated

[Talya]

lol...thats a good one too Questy!

 

He who laughs last....thinks slowest!

[ConQuest]

lol...thats a good one too Questy!

 

He who laughs last....thinks slowest!

 

or lost their funny bone

[ed2funy]

lol...thats a good one too Questy!

 

He who laughs last....thinks slowest!

 

or lost their funny bone

 

:D lmao....

These are hilarious.

[ConQuest]

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

 

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

 

Consider the postage stamp. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

 

Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive.

[ConQuest]

oh and dont forget...

 

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.

[Al Jenn Mael]

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

 

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

 

I've found Jesus. He was behind the sofa the whole time.

 

You! Off my planet!

 

Therapy is expensive, poppin' bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

 

Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of

self-control.

 

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

 

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.

 

I got these from

 

http://www.realpoor.com/Funny_smartass_sayings_for_when_you_re_stressed____t16811.html

 

I would say the content is 16+ for those with a stricter view on such, I've seen worse around here, so it isn't to bad. Either way I like to keep everything clean with people I haven't met so :P

 

The &%*&* Curse words and have only vague innuendous (Trademarking that) jokes. Just putting it out there to be on the safe side.

[ed2funy]

lmao...these are hilarious man.

[Al Jenn Mael]

Wow, you really love mafia O.o

[ed2funy]

lol...

I just want people to sign-up for those so that my game comes up faster.

;D

 

But, yes, I also want to play. :D

[Talya]

I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.

 

I like this one..lol

 

Ed..*pins him down so he can't go anywhere...*

[Reyoru]

O_o ahem ;)

 

Consider it an honour, Ed its not often our OL pins someone down ;)

[Talya]

I didn't say what I ppinned him down with...

 

*hides the tent pegs*

[Reyoru]

Oh, tent pegs was it... ;)

[Talya]

Of course...what else would I use... ;D