An Exchanging of Words

[minisamus]

Cont. from Words To A Lonely Song RP

For the life of me I cannot remember

What made us think that we were wise and

We'd never compromise

 

Sunshine was gilding the grounds of the Tower and there had been a marked twittering of birds in the ivy outside the window when Saline woke next morning to a new day. But there was no corresponding sunshine in Saline Wastrel’s soul, no answering twitter in her heart as she sat up in bed, sipping her cup of strengthening tea. It could not be denied that to Saline, upon reviewing the happenings of the day before, the distance between Rory and her might be beyond repairing; it was too wide a rift . . . She had hoped, as it often happened, a night’s sleep would have given her insight come morning, but there was nothing there; no friend to storm right in and save the day.

 

Though it meant giving Rory up, it would be tempting to wash her hands of all this. In some ways, Maegan Sedai’s words made sense. The former Highest was berating Saline with claims of how their little lives did not count, in the grand scheme of things. Saline understood: it came from a history of Aes Sedai who never talked about their lacking relationships, preferring to fasten their pain within like miniscule cracks in gems.

 

It came belated to her Rory’s leaving was inevitable, and any attempts at getting Rory back might be painted a fool’s errand, thus a nice little problem presented itself to Saline. One thing, it had been, to make an issue more complex than it had to be in terms of its solution, another, for oversimplifying a complex issue. What seemed wise, therefore, would be to discern between the two situations without being too heartless, too harmful to either party.

 

Something in the tone of the conversation set yesterday told her had Saline put those thoughts to her - Maegan Sedai would not have seemed overly concerned with affairs of anybody’s heart. Despite the fact that Lillian, one of the two Whites with Rory, would have laid down her life for her Sisters. Maybe logically, or maybe, Saline fancied thinking, because giving help was the right thing to do. It should not feel so shameful to get things off her mind.

 

No more help was to be found within her Sisters of the Heart. They were distracted, occupied quite literally. The news that a contingency from the Black Tower arrived in the gardens was known but to a selected few, and had Saline not stumbled upon the gathering in the Red’s private garden she would not have expected such a bold move. If there was any time that the Tower needed to stand strong, and think quickly, there was no better time than now. Even when the whole Watchers’ keep fiasco went down, Saline had not felt such tightening of the chest as she had when the Travel portal emitted those . . . Asha’man directly into Tower grounds. They were as a scourge, and would carry with them decay, the taint; spreading panic and madness.

 

In these circumstances Saline was not sure exactly what she would do. The Tower was no longer home, had not been for years. Without Rory she could not stand tarrying a moment more in this emptiness; it was a constant reminder of how lonely she had been.

 

Taking a last look over herself she had on; a calico frock without embellishments, a hat pulled over her honey-shied curls and brown eyes to block the rays. And also sight, apparently, for in the gardens what Saline thought she bumped into was not a tree, but a woman.

 

“Owee.” She said, trembling.

 

After retrieving her hat Saline looked very long at Lavinya Sedai, for it was she whom Saline had collided with. Seeing the woman however, had opened up a whole line of thinking. Before long, Saline found herself smiling rather hopefully. How could she not have seen the answer?

 

“Sorry, Lavinya Sedai. You wouldn’t happen to have kept up news on the Rory, Lillian, and Abigail front would you? No, unlikely seeing how they’ve vanished. Well, I’m going after them but it’s in the blight and I’ll be needing companions. And I think, who better than a Gray to ask? You’ve not only experience with subtleties of negotiations and the laws, but also extensive travelling. Should you choose not to come, I entreat you to divulge my plans to no one else.”

 

She added the final touch, "I know you must be thinking, wonderful, why me? Usually we ask our Ajah Sisters, so it seems very thin I would ask you when we do not know each other well, right? Not even on each others' lists for sending greeting cards every Bel Tine, if you catch my drift. Again I must ask you to treat this as entirely confidential, Lavinya Sedai, but I may as well inform you that it is not twenty-four hours since Maegan Sedai turned me down.”

 

There followed a long moment as Saline permitted the Gray to absorb this before moving the conversation along with a feminine hand gesture, motioning to Lavinya Sedai.

 

“Yes, turned me down. Like a bedspread. In this very garden." Saline nodded, her eyes intent on the trajectory of a whizzing damselfly. It shimmered blue when passing her, and she traced it all the way until it disappeared around the mullberries. Wishing she didn't have to pretend that when she was talking to the ground she was talking to Rory. The time for explanations would come.

[Lavinya]

Lavinya did not feel safe, and she hated it. It felt too much like she'd been scared forever, and to have her second to last solace invaded with those foul wretches in black coats was too much. How many nights did she wake from the terrors of her dreams, more often than not screaming or in tears? Far, far too many. And it was all because of one of those light accursed Asha'man - Linten. The entire time she had been held captive, she had clung to the hope of being returned to the Tower; had known it for the one place she could safe. Until those fools in the Hall had agreed to this madness! It was as though her sacrifice and suffering counted for nought, or or they thought she had brought the abuse down on herself. The very notion made her scowl darkly. No one welcomed or encouraged the sort of torture Linten had inflicted on her, and while she was pregnant, no less!

 

At least Elise, her daughter, was safe. The fact that no one save Estel Sedai even knew of her existence helped ease her mind...though she still was not at peace knowing Elise's father was still ignorant of his daughter. Lavinya had every intention to tell Corin everything, at the first opportunity, until the man proved to be so troublesome and moody. He was a thorn in her heel at present, and it hurt all the more knowing she had put him there with her own manipulations. She loved him still - despite his best efforts to irritate her endlessly - and had taken it upon herself to see about rehabilitating him from the self-destructive path he had been following. That she insisted upon being the one to assist him was a sign of how much she cared and perhaps a hint at the roiling jealousy she still felt for the one he had thrown away everything for.

 

Hissing under her breath, Lavinya stepped out from the tower and into the gardens, in an effort to clear her mind and stave off the ill feeling that pervaded her at knowing asha'man were nearby. At least Rion and Linten were absent; Rion who had forced a bond upon her, and Linten who had abused her waking and sleeping. He was the reason she rarely slept at night, and that was partly was she was even more surly than usual. Corin was doing nothing to ease her humour, that was certain. Flaming goat-kissing ingrate! After all she was doing for him-

 

Lavinya gave a startled gasp as Saline burst from an intersecting path and collided with her, scattering her thoughts and earning the focus of her present agitation. Her first instinct was to give the Red a sever tongue lashing for her carelessness, but upon noting the slight tremble in the woman's frame much of her ire abated instantly. Once she had been a merciless tyrant and proud of it; no longer did she have the heart to treat any one that way without cause. Unless that person was a mule-headed, wool-brained tower guard named Corin Danveer!

 

Idly Lavinya brushed at the emerald green folds of her rather low cut gown. It was immaculate and expensive, a stark contrast the simple clothing on Saline. She could have almost passed for a dreamy brown. "Saline, I-" Lavinya shook her head as the Red kept right on speaking, bouncing from one topic to another with surprising speed, but she certainly managed to catch her attention. A trip to the Blight? Lavinya mulled the possibilities and ignored the niggling voice that told her to dismiss the notion out of hand. Anywhere away from the Black coats was welcome at present, but what of Elise? She could hardly sneak away for her regular visits while along the blight border. And what of Corin? He was her responsibility and burn her if she was going to let him destroy himself.

 

Then again...Corin. Perhaps what he needed was some time to reflect and see just how everyone else would treat a deserter tower guard. That his association to Sirayn had not come out was largely due to Lavinya's discretion...how would he fare if he was linked to the former Amyrlin's disappearance? Yes, perhaps it was time for the light blasted man to realise just how much she was doing for him, and maybe, just maybe, he would appreciate her effort better upon her return.

 

Smiling slightly, Lavinya linked one arm with Saline's and turned to follow the path the Red had been walking. "I am nothing if not discreet, sister." She said. "I am intrigued by your offer...pray tell me more of your plans." To know that Saline was forced to reach outside her own ajah to find help was fascinating, and it indicated it was either a fools mission, or perhaps a chance to earn some sway with the reds, or at least Saline. And running away from her fears was as good as any idea she could think of - she was no matyr. "I'm not averse to leaving the tower. Rory, Lillian and Abigail was it? Tell me, what leads do you have?"

 

Lavinya Morganen

Gray Ajah

[minisamus]

The two women turned up the path, making a strange pairing. There could be no mistaking them for twins as they wound around the corner. It was not only the contrast in quality and cut of their clothes. The Domani had this slow, swaying walk Saline had always admired from afar. Lillian also shared a proficiency in feminine arts during the times Saline and she spent together. She could dance the tiganza. Wondering idly if Lavinya Sedai also knew the tiganza she forgot who it was she had been walking with. After a while Saline fell into old habits of walking with Rory, whom would always wait for Saline. And the few times Rory was slow she had gotten dug in the ribs . . .

 

No longer moving, Saline started from her thoughts. As did poor Lavinya Sedai, who had just been jabbed, rather sharply I might add, in the ribs. Saline gaped "Aw, crap. Sorry!"

 

It took a moment before Lavinya Sedai would consent to another turn in the garden . . .

 

Barely feeling the arm bracing her own, Saline Wastrel was going over in her mind such outstanding points of the walk as she remembered--the nervousness, the relief of finding that she was gripping her accidental listener, the growing conviction that she had grasped at the opportunity and made good; while Lavinya Sedai seemed to be thinking her own private thoughts. They had gone some paces before either spoke.

 

"A Cairhienian Eyes and Ears by the name of Beatrice might have some information, but for reasons of her own she won't come to the Tower so we'll have to go to her. I don't know what my exact plans are, but Beatrice is a start and hopefully more clues will come along the way. Also, you and I are on our own." Saline, who had been abandoned more than a few times in her life, spoke with feeling. "As for guards, I don't really know what to do."

 

At the mention of guards, Lavinya Sedai displayed some interest.

[Lavinya]

On their own. Yes, Lavinya knew what it was to truly be alone, though at times it had its advantages. Such as pursuing half-baked plans to fetch sisters long since missing from the blight border with minimal fuss and entourage. A convenient way to escape the twin confines of duty and fear. But what to do with Corin? She was trying to rehabilitate the man, not scar him further - as much as she was willing to leave, she was of two minds about leaving him behind to his own devices. Not that he couldn't survive without her of course, but the idea of leaving him free for another's clutches made her stomach twist in a most unpleasant way. He was her problem.

 

"Guards?" Lavinya turned thoughtful, forgetting even the twinge in her ribs from Saline's rather sharp elbow. She was going to be a most unusual travel companion; Lavinya did not know how long she would remain patient if the woman was going to insist on bruising her at every opportunity. If it weren't for the extreme curiosity she had to know more, she would have left the red to her own devices in the gardens instead of accepting her apology and continuing their stroll. Perhaps there was a solution to Corin after all. She could speak to the commander, there was no doubt in her mind that she could have Corin freed into her care in order to test him with duty and see if he would prove himself worthy to serve once more. But did she really want him to come? Yes. No.

 

Mahogany brows furrowed and pouty lips tightened. Burn him but he caused her whole world to turn upside down and inside out without scarcely needing to try. She did not want to lose him; had grieved once already at the possibility that he had suffered his demise alongside his beloved Sirayn. Letting him out of her sight was not palatable at all...but then again having him with her on this mission, with only Saline and a mystery Cairhienian for a buffer could prove far too much to bear. Besides, there were some things she wanted to keep hidden from him, and the man was too adept at ferreting out secrets for Lavinya to be comfortable. Elise. She would tell him...when the news wasn't likely to motivate him to some drastic action she could not control. And when he wasn't likely to leap at her throat. That too would help. There were other things, too. Such as exactly what she had endured at the Black Tower; how she scarcely slept unless it was daylight or she was too intoxicated to dream. Certainly not something she would have him witness and hold against her in his present state of mind.

 

"I may have a solution as to guards, leave that to me. The smaller the party the better, don't you think sister?" Lavinya looked sideways at her companion and smiled slightly at the look of...well it seemed like hope. "Yes, I suppose that means I will go with you Saline, the light knows I have every reason to go with you and very few to convince me to stay. I assume you would go with or without my help? I thought as much. Better you have a companion to assist you; besides, I know Lillian and Rory at least, and dislike greatly the thought of sisters disappearing under questionable circumstances. That has been happening too much of late and I do not like it." Lavinya fell silent once more, mulling sombrely particularly on Sirayn. Sirayn, who had promised her much, to whom she owed fealty. Sirayn, with whom she had shared a strange bond she did not understand; motherly yet at the same time tinged with a tension that bespoke of a far different sort of connection. Sirayn, whom had witnessed her tears and given comfort, who had given her blessing to pursue Corin. Lavinya's jaw tightened at the last. Betrayed...Sirayn had held Corin's heart in her pocket, had been the reason he spurned Lavinya's love.

 

Maybe a trip to the blight was just the thing to make Corin forget about the cripple old woman, and perhaps remember that there was another with whom he had shared a wonderful friendship. Yes, she would make him forget. The frown that had creased her features disappeared and Lavinya patted Saline's arm lightly. "We will see them restored, I am sure." And I shall see HIM restored to me, or die trying. "I will see to our escort. We have much yet to plan, sister. When do you wish to leave?"

 

Lavinya

[minisamus]

Over her the heavenly dome, full of quiet shining stars, hung boundlessly. Night, almost unstirring, enveloped the earth with a minty freshness. But Saline, to whom Lavinya Sedai, practically flying to her arrange their escort even, had been bade good-bye and was at the moment running around in terrible disarray. For the past hour she had been contemplating without any results, but Lavinya Sedai must have moved fast, for within the first watch Saline had gotten an escorting offer in form of a missive.

 

"Fortune prick me! The talk's in two hours." cried Saline, distressed by emergence. She clamoured in such a fashion into dark boots, gray breeches and a matching shirt and onto the building by the port, the headquarters for the Guards that had contacted her. Saline could be fearfully reserved in the best of times, and now, perhaps just because she was dressed so plainly she became aware of the comaderie in her surroundings. Her heart was filled with dread and she began to be afraid of every word she uttered, every gesture she made, which was very trying for a woman who already felt so alone. Where is Lavinya Sedai anyhow? Hasn't she arrange the meet and greet? Otherwise how can they know I'm searching for my Sisters?

 

"Gentlemen, the note . . ." Saline began in some agitation; she had turned pale when she realised she was alone, without the Gray Sister beside her. On second thought she probably should have checked with Lavinya Sedai before rushing out to keep her appointment, but it had not seemed suspicious at the time.

 

"How we found you is not important, although our accountant likes to track down potential employers" the captain cut in gruffly, "you seemed in need of extra investigators who would also be able to protect you while your party travels, and we are here. You can take it or leave it, Saline Wastrel."

 

"You're the Red Guards?" asked Saline, her eyes scanning as though one group of mercenaries would impersonate another. Aside from the captain there were five and forty men in the building this night, she had been told the rest were out on assignments and that they numbered more than a hundred should she have need for more . . .

 

"Like I could afford you lot." she had replied before the captain, whose name was Mitya and the other Guards started muttering that they had not even named a price.

 

Saline could understand that. They seemed very serious about investigation, disarmingly so. She hoped they would be as committed in protective work for which she had decided to buy.

 

Her mind made, she wanted to get the bargaining out of the way. Saline was not rich by far, but had saved up a nice sum working in the bakery back in Illian. Think the Tower provided a minimal salary for its Sisters? What Saline and others did was considered a public service, as servants to all. Most Aes Sedai relied on their families or connections. In some ways, a steady source of income when she baked for the cake shoppe had been one of the few perks of her self-imposed exile.

 

"Money, gentlemen? I understand the need for it, by all means. I'm actually surprised you didn't ask sooner." Saline shrugged at the mercenaries, her eyes fixed on captain Mitya, "well, here it is, my money. Here, count it, take it. That's all I have, I think."

 

She took everything from her purse and dump its contents on the table. It made a nice enough pile on the table, but she kept on patting her body for more. And more she found, and given up. Even the two coppers from the left pocket of her coat.

 

"Naturally," answered Capt. Mitya. "But I should like very, very much to know, Saline Wastrel . . . how they look . . .  on things in general now, that is, how can I explain, what are their likes and dislikes? Are they all like you? Under what influences are your friends now? In a word, I should like . . ."

 

"Ah, captain, how can she answer all that at once?" observed the man they named Rasputin at the introduction round. Saline only remembered the name as he was the only one wearing a suit of thin dark stuff and he had on a white scarf around his neck rather than leather or armour. Rasputin sat beside the captain as the valued accountant, apparently, for the Red Guards even though he would not be participating in the actual investigations. He had single-handedly guarded the financial well-being of the group for many years. Very important for a little known mercenary unit such as the Red Guards, Saline fancied.

 

Though Rasputin's words were soft-spoken, Mitya winced terribly. This only served to confirm her suspicions regarding the importance of Rasputin's position as an accountant when the captain made a half-bow from where he was seated.

 

"My sincere apologies, Sir."

 

"No, no, it's done. Don't bother. There's no need exerting myself. I've already exerted myself enough on all of your triffles." Rasputin's reply was dry, brief, and incorporated everybody . . . such as could be expected from somebody who dealt with money all his days. As the other men attempted to placate Rasputin with their half-bows he told them with a flutter of his long sleeves. "Enough, gentlemen, drop it."

 

Rasputin told it without without going into details, or giving any sign of anger or motive for his sudden rebuke. And this time the Guards did not matter: it was clear that for Rasputin the main point now lay elsewhere. Saline's payment. Rasputin totalled it all up. Mitya, the captain, willingly helped. They counted every copper and added it to the reckoning.

 

Saline ignored the business aspect of things. Rasputin was the group's accountant after all. "What am I to tell you, Captain? I have known Rory Baker for the greater part of a half century; she has a noble nature and a kind heart. She does not like showing her feelings and would rather do things than open her heart freely. It took a long time for her to trust me, but I've betrayed our love, friendship even, with a cruel . . ."

 

Rasputin glanced at her often while she was talking, but only for a moment and looked away again. And some of the Guards ventured to look more boldly at Saline Wastrel at last, they attended her descriptions of each woman and their histories and habits intently. Captain Mitya sat at the table, listening attentively, hissing at one point as Saline mentioned her interest in earth weaves, then got up again and began walking to and fro with his arms folded and his lips compressed, occassionally putting in a question, without stopping his walk.

 

Before she knew it a contract had been drawn and she was to pen her name into the Red Guard's employer book.

 

Saline was simply agog; she could not help but to ask, "er. Shouldn't there be more to the agreement? You will be joining our party in a month's time?"

 

"Yes, we shall write it down." muttered captain Mitya.

 

"And that's all?" Saline smiled hopefully. Bargaining was easier than it sounded!

 

"All."

 

Somehow feeling as though she should be giving them more, Saline added "I don't want to take advantage of what you offer me, captain. I will guarantee provisions and travel expenses . . . and the same amount I'll pay over again when next we meet, for departure."

 

"Why, thank you very much," Mitya said politely, but his accountant nudged him slightly under the table, and he managed to stop himself in time. "No need, our commission's covered. Your offer is appreciated in any case."

 

"You will reward them should their efforts prove worthy of it. Let them work for your money. Well, what more? I think your arrival will have a most beneficial influence on the three friends you're seeking. Good talking with you, Saline." Rasputin added, in a sort of tenderly joyful voice. Smiling benevolently he picked up the transcript of their meeting and vacated the room with the employer book, and although talk went on concerning terms and plans for how to best navigate the borders without being detected for a while longer, the departure of the mysterious accountant had essentially ended the meeting.

 

~*. . .*~

 

A new day, a new morning. And it was a very early morning that found Saline inside Lavinya Sedai's rooms for the first time ever. She was still in the gray breeches and boots as she paced the length of the Gray Sister's quarters. Anybody else might have pulled long faces: this was not at all what one expected. But she fancied Lavinya Sedai looked intrigued even, as Saline laid out plans she and Mitya's Guards had came up with. Maps and all.

 

Saline gestured at the points on one of the larger maps the Guard provided. It was a very good map, better and more accurate than Saline's. "See? Here in the Mountains of Mist where Lillian Sedai, Rory Sedai and Abigail Sedai began, and here, where they were last seen entering the blight we'll be focusing on. Captain Mitya and six of his Red Guards will be accompanying us. They are too toned and grizzled to be taken for a travelling troupe or ordinary merchants, but as we are investigating our Sisters' disappearance . . . we must not been seen as Aes Sedai if we can help it. I think, the best guise would be for you to be a noblewoman sent from Bandar Eban up north supposedly to visit cousin but really to be married off at the highest bid basically, with her family guards and me as your handmaiden. A sad story for the noblewoman but hey, it's what happens in life even for otherwise educated and privileged women. Moreover it would be believeable. Our party, mostly the Guards as you and I are flies on the wall, will be investigating the three runaways. The Tower Guard you've chosen, this Corin fellow, is your brother. Can you get him to agree to this?"

 

Drawing upon the strength within the Spring Saline waited for Lavinya Sedai's response . . .

 

In truth it still intimidated her to ask such things from older Sisters, and yesterday she would not have capable of bringing herself to do so, yet somehow after her negotiations with the Red Guards she was feeling better. It was her day, and her mission above all. Even without approval the Sisters went freely and so could Saline Sedai, although she rarely used her title. If Lavinya Sedai would not be able to stick to the plan then she could venture with the Red Guards. Who would, with luck, guard her not only from the dangers abroad, but also not let her determination be led astray. Once they leave she would not return to the Tower without her friends.

 

In the meantime there was still much work to be done.

[Lavinya]

Lavinya sat behind her new desk of carved mahogany, elbow propped on the smoothly polished surface and chin in hand, watching Saline Sedai as she paced unceasingly across her sitting room. She was trying to determine whether the woman naturally had too much energy or was just nervous in her presence. Not that she was trying to be intimidating, but she did seem to come across that way with little effort. Then again, Saline seemed to be well ensconced in her own private dream world much of the time - it was possible she scarcely registered Lavinya's presence, let alone found her intimidating.

 

The desktop was littered with several curled papers, the edges held down with various implements from the elegantly curved drawers - an inkpot, several smooth stone paperweights, a carved miniature of a rose embedded in a palm sized piece of lacquered wood. Lavinya looked to where Saline pointed yet again, studying the terrain carefully. They had spent some time that morning already discussing the location, the accuracy of the maps, and how it compared with the scant rumours Saline had of the sister's whereabouts. It was as thorough as it was going to get. Lavinya was satisfied; an escape from the tower was an escape, regardless of the circumstances.

 

The Red Guards had been a stroke of genius. Lavinya had never made use of their services before, but she did know of their reputation. Hired mercenaries would help with their cover, and it avoided the issue of preparing an armed tower guard escort. Since neither of the sisters had a warder, they required the services of others. No doubt they could take care of themselves, but two women did not travel alone. Besides, Lavinya was secretly afraid that she did need a sword at her back. Linten had showed her just how helpless she was without Saidar, having many big men with swords would ease her mind considerably. Particularly the one exception they had made with Corin. Lavinya had given Saline only the barest of details concerning their relationship - he had deserted and was now being rehabilitated with the help of Lavinya. She had inferred that a severe emotional trauma that had led to his disappearance and little more, thankful that the young Red had not chosen to probe further. Lavinya would keep Corin's secrets.

 

Lavinya frowned somewhat as Saline outlined the details of their disguise. It was plausible of course, something they could pull off with some success...given of course, that Corin would agree to the plan. Lavinya had not even been sure he would agree to come when she had asked him, indeed she had considered leaving him behind several times whatever he wanted before the end of that debate. "I am sure Corin will see the sense in your plan, sister. It will provide sort of cover we need. I will see to it that he agrees or remains behind." Lavinya said firmly, already dreading the discussion. If he forced her to pull rank, so be it, but he would do as she ordered. If only he wouldn't push her to such measures.

 

Pushing aside thoughts of Corin, Lavinya tapped a finger on her chin. "I am not sure if I am entirely satisfied to leave all of the enquiries to the guards though. How far can hired blades be trusted? And how do we know they will prove adept at ferreting out the information we seek? They could blindly lead us into a den of vipers with a few careless words." At least Lavinya trusted in Corin's skill in intrigue; he was trained by the woman who practically wrote the book on the Game of Houses. It was her hope - well, one of them - that he would dive into the challenge and find some measure of healing in action. She had chosen not to alert Saline to his other talents, there was every possibility the man would prove too troublesome to be of any real use.

 

"I wish you had thought to obtain a copy of that contract, I would have liked to peruse it." Lavinya sighed and rolled up the maps carefully, sorting the useful from the useless. That was an oversight Saline had already apologised for, and there was nought to be done for it now. At least it was signed in the Red's name. Producing pen and parchment, Lavinya began a list. "There is much more to prepare than the route we must follow - we need to organise provisions for the trip. Food, horses, bedrolls..." The list went on, periodically added to by Saline Sedai. There was much legwork to be done yet, and Lavinya knew just the man to set to the mundane tasks. Two could play the game of irritation he seemed to love so much.

 

Lavinya

[minisamus]

There was once a woodcutter and his wife who lived together in a little hut by the woods, and every day he would go down to chop the trees. Although he chopped, he never crossed the stream that separates the boundaries of his land from the full fledged forest beyond. But he would go a little further into the woods each day, and return home a little later every day, for his wife and him, although they had once been very much in love, argued rather a lot. One day the woodcutter packed all his affects, what few belongings he did, onto the back of a workmule and told the woman he married that he was going adventuring for an intermittent amount of time.

 

"Listen well," said his wife, whose heart felt broken by his leaving as she was bringing the woodcutter his sharpest axe "if you leave me and do not return within the space of three days then you may as well not return. For I shall never forgive you."

 

But the woodcutter was silent as he rode away on his mule. His solution was to cut their connection cleanly as she made him unhappy with her constant disagreements. He had decided he was never coming back; his mind was made-up. And even though he got his trousers wet by doing so, crossing the stream had been easy as pie. After this, since he had never been across the borders, nor had anywhere in particular to go, he meandered idly into the forest. As he cleared the undergrowth and tangles about him, however, the woodcutter became aware of his path being cold, of it being dark, and filled with night noises he never heard of. His joints and bottom also hurt from all that riding, by the way.

 

In the morning the woodcutter started riding again, and rode even further away from her until his whole body felt sore. Eventually he rode to the middle of the forest where the trees were thickest. But on the way he started missing her. When the night closed in he suddenly remembered what his wife's words. She would never forgive him if he did not come home to-morrow.

 

All of the sudden even her harsh words seemed endearing. As quickly as he decided he was leaving her, he decided to return to his wife and their hut. And since a straight line was the shortest route he decided to take a shortcut from the forest back. All went well during the night, although his mule was fading fast from pure exhaustion the woodcutter felt new determination to plough on. The woodcutter even ditched his packs, including his favorite, and sharpest axe. He loved being a woodcutter, but he was a man and he was beginning to realise something else, something very important as he rode back . . . he loved his wife more.

 

Then he reached a swamp.

 

And he asked himself, all alone there at the edges of that swamp, a question. Should he go around, or go straight through the swamp? Either way his mule was about to give out from underneath him.

 

But there was a boy in the swamp. So that man who was formerly a woodcutter asked, "boy, does the swamp have a hard bottom?"

 

"Yes it does, sir," was the boy's answer.

 

"Well," said the man "I am sure I'm better off going straight through the swamp, then." 

 

With these words he put his feet to his mule and set into the swamp. He began to sink deeper and deeper as the swamp progressed, and very soon he sunk into the mire. As he was sinking he cried out to where he could barely see or hear the boy, "didn't you say the swamp does have a hard bottom?"

 

"Yes it does, sir" came a faint reply from the boy, "you just haven't hit bottom yet."

 

Does the man get home in time? Should he have taken the other route? I don't know . . . this is all I gathered after shifting through various stories, Aes Sedai.

 

-Folklore from around the World, confirmed by E&E report

 

"You're a light-send, Lavinya Sedai. I am sorry I didn't have you around to read the contract at the meeting last night."

 

Saline was pacing in a wolf-like manner. A vivid flowery painting on the wall behind Lavinya Sedai had caught the eye. She possessed no idea how valuable it might be, although a part of her appreciated how interesting the painting was. Rossa Sedai would have been able to talk about the art. There had been one sketch in Rossa's portfolio particular she liked tremendously . . . it was unfinished, for one. Rossa had taught Saline that a good work of art, even stories, did not need to have all the ends neatly tied. In life they are not. Many significant things would pass people by, and they would be focusing on the trivial things which in hindsight might have been regrettable.

 

"And you are right, Lavinya Sedai. One careless word is one too many, and one word can be more than sufficient when it comes to tempting danger. However, I am not overly concerned regarding the performance of our mercenaries. The Red Guards have their approach for this sort of thing, it is very methological and precise. Suspicion has reared its ugly head to me, as well. But we cannot do this by ourselves. And sometimes it is simply necessary to take a leap of faith. I trust the Red Guards as much as I would trust the Tower Guard you're training not to step out of context and break our cover."

 

"As for what we'd do if one of them should do just that and fob things up, or worse get caught." Saline said slowly, as though outlining her thoughts "Captain Mitya has reassured me that they would be able to take care of themselves without the benefits of the Aes Sedai healing and warding. It is his wish for the Red Guards to help us, not hinder our collective protection for one of his own. And it's been a bit of a dodgy issue, really. Time is of the essence before the trail runs cold . . . but what would happen to the man we leave behind? Isn't it a dangerous logic to devalue his life for our sisters' possible return? Would Lillian Sedai, whom you claim to know, have supported us in such a venture, where we would do anything, commit any sins in order to achieve our ends? We might grieve for him but it's his own bloody fault isn't it? Can we, will we be held responsible for our crimes, for all these lives? Is it for a higher order? Or are we merely serving ourselves? How far can hire blades be trusted, you ask? How far can we push ourselves? Is this where madness lies, in the moment when you're so paralysed with your choices, you've run out of time?"

 

"Life is just bursting with these doom and gloom choices are they not, Lavinya Sedai? What do you think? Should we save our lone Red/Tower Guard, or leave him behind?" And seeing how it was a rhetorical question, Saline smiled holding up a hand "believing in the right thing is so difficult. It leaves me trembling sometimes. What we do counts, what we don't do, also counts. There's no trial run to life, we make most of it up as we go."

 

"I like to imagine we'll go back for them."

 

"And what, I might ask, is with our culture's push for moving on? I cannot understand it, Lavinya Sedai. There is an acting guild headquarters in the Patriach's court, for one of his favorite indulgences would be in the plays. I remember for each play how the actors had been people who were coming from guilds all over, people who had never met together. Yet once they were assigned a role the actors in one party would all gather even when they were out of the costumes. If you recognised one hunter for the horn from the play he was most likely standing with his fellow hunters rather than the people who played innkeeps."

 

"So on this investigation we will be as these actors do. We must operate as a team, you and I. We have come to the Tower for our individual transformation at first, then as Aes Sedai we want better visions for all people, hence the social transformations around us. But we have to remind ourselves of the increasing need for individual change. Otherwise we're stuck in a fragmented stage of self-aggrandisement."

 

"Have you any idea why the actors group according to their roles? Because a decision's much harder to make by your onesies. Decisions are always so much harder to make when a person is alone. It's not over yet. You'll see. We're not alone."

 

Saline did not inquire about Corin although she was very fond of finding out the way other people think. But she learnt very soon when she asked for clarification or better understanding, she was usually dismissed as having a big pot of crock or trying on a female empowerment crap. Rather than push for answers where Corin was concerned, Saline decided to let Lavinya Sedai talk of her own accord when she was ready. She was not the Gray Sister's confidant nor expected to be. But she would try and help whomever came to her regardless.

 

"Sorry to have called on you so early. I have class soon. You on the other hand could use some more rest. Oh and also, good luck with Corin, Lavinya Sedai." Then, pausing on the way out, Saline reached in her breeches' pocket and took out a piece of the honeycake the Red Guards gave her last night and left it on Lavinya's desk . . .

 

"I dare you not to love it" said Mitya, laughing.

 

Breaking the pastry into pieces Saline tasted a chunk, "this is very good, captain. Mind if I take another back? It's for a new friend of mine."

 

"Mmmno, go nuts."

[Lavinya]

What a strange young woman Saline Wastrel was. Lavinya was still trying to determine just what to make of the woman some time after she had departed the Gray's rooms. Honestly, she could well pass for a brown, the way she seemed easily sidetracked by her own pondering. Not that she wasn't interesting of course, indeed Lavinya found herself contemplating just what she would do in the circumstance of a deserter - not as easy a question to answer as it used to be - but she was definitely strange. And would take some getting used to. The mysterious Honeycake offering was the finishing touch to the unusual encounter. Lavinya had almost been afraid to touch it until common sense told her it was clearly meant as some sort of gift or kind gesture. She'd been glad in the end that temptation won; the sweet treat was delicious.

 

Shuffling through the papers on her desk, Lavinya pulled out the list of supplies and sat it on top, but her mind had gone back to Saline's words.

 

"I like to imagine we'll go back for them."

 

Lavinya did too. It was what she was doing, wasn't it? Going back for Corin? She would not leave him behind to suffer whatever fate he foolishly believed he deserved for his failure (as he saw it). It was amazing how life's experiences could drastically alter one's point of view. Lavinya had always been the type of woman who would have counted her losses and moved on, quite callously really. But somehow that had changed. Corin. She would not leave him behind, no matter how much he begged. Ha! And she would get no thanks for it either. Bloody-minded ingrate.

 

Idly rapping her nails on the smooth surface of the desk, Lavinya reviewed the list they had made, making a few minor adjustments as she went. The Red Guards would provide their own mounts and travelling equipment, save food and fodder for the horses. It made things less complicated at least, which appealed to Lavinya. The simplest plans were usually the most effective. It did not take long to make a copy of the list, which Lavinya carefully blotted then placed into a drawer. She was not about to undertake all these tasks herself, indeed she would avoid as many of them as possible. If Corin wanted to pretend he was a mindless tool for the tower, she would use him as an errand boy. Let him see just how palatable her proposals are after running around after her for a day or two.

 

He still needed to be told of the planned disguise for their mission, and that did not bode to be a pleasant conversation. If the discussion regarding him coming with them at all was any indication, it would be more fun to have her teeth pulled. Well, no point putting it off, delaying the matter would only make it all the more painful. Taking a fresh piece of foolscap, Lavinya jotted a quick note, not bothering to take care to be extra polite - he didn't deserve it.

 

Corin,

 

I require your presence at first opportunity; I must speak to you regarding our previous discussion. Please present yourself to my apartments, I will be waiting on you.

 

Lavinya Sedai

 

At least she had said please. And it wasn't quite a demand. Almost, but not quite. There was no doubt in her mind though that his first opportunity might not present itself for some time if he could help it. She almost hoped it did irritate him somewhat; at least when he was angry he betrayed some of what was going on in his head. He would come though, and the longer he took, the more annoying her tasks would be. It did not take long to find a novice to pass the note on; the girl looked terrified at being cornered by the Gray, but scurried away with great haste. Sometimes her reputation with the initiates of the tower came in most handy.

 

Certain the wait would be a lengthy one, Lavinya made herself comfortable on one of her new chaises, propping herself with cushions and reclining. The leather bound journal she had started was open on a golden cushion beside her, the legacy she would leave for Elise. It felt narcissistic, narrating her own life that way, but the motivation behind it removed any arrogance from the text. Lavinya was just pleased to note that she had changed from the cold, callous woman she had been. Oh, there was still much room for improvement, but at least she was growing. That had to be a good thing. Stifling a yawn, Lavinya cast her eyes towards the silver clock on her mantle. She did need more rest, but she had not said as much to Saline. That the red had said something was probably a good indicator of just how tired she must look. The previous night had been particularly bad, her night terror so vivid she had lit every candle she could find in the hope of staving away the memory. There had been no sleep thereafter. Another yawn, and a feline stretch. If Corin kept her waiting too much longer she would make him walk to the blight, she vowed silently.

 

Lavinya

[tismeb4u]

“Thunk!” The smooth uniform hilt of the dagger vibrated briefly as it transferred the stored energy from its throw into the surface of the target tree. Three shafts of silver, reflecting in the light, protruded from the parchment that had been pressed to target. The missive, now arrayed with a plethora of slashes was still legible much to Corin’s dismay. More over, the delicate feminine flow of ink that was Lavinya’s signature remained perfectly untouched. Slashes from previous throws dotted the parchment around it, but not one had touched it or a finger width span around it.

 

I know it’s not really her. But damn the pimple on the rump of a pig! Its simple rebellion, nothing she doesn’t deserve. Why can’t I just have at least that one small victory? Shaking his head Corin approached missive once more and pulled free his blades. He had even tried to swap a shift on the wall with another guard, but the fool refused. Who in their right mind would not want a free day off? With pay even. Corin could careless about the money. He just wanted an excuse to be able to put his leash holder off for a whole day. As if a smile too shy to show itself hovered in the shadows, the though quirked the corner of his lips.

 

It was not to be it seemed and he was running out of barely plausible excuses for postponing as long as he did. Shielding his eyes with the one dagger still in hand, he cast a hasty glance at the sinking sun. His day had started as well and cheerful as it possibly could under his present circumstances and taskmistress. In fact, not having had to “talk” to her all day should have had him in high spirits. It was not that he didn’t like talking to her. They had been friends at one time, more then friends. Only since his return her “talk” always ended up circling back to what was going on in his head; like she was trying to analyze him. A broken tool that she was determined to fix regardless of his belief or not.

 

But the appearance of one of the Towers white pigeons had fouled that immediately. There was only one reason since his return that a Novice would be seeking him out and it wasn’t for a tousle in the hay unfortunately. When they appeared it could only mean one thing. Lavinya had decided he needed to be where ever she was so she could once more assign him some task or chore like he was nothing more then one of the girls in white. At least she didn’t watch him working the forms anymore. Or perhaps just because she was not actually before him he had relaxed and not felt her eyes from the ramparts above.

 

Corin shook his head again. He had forgotten how it felt to be in the yard over shadowed by the White Tower. Always there were eyes from above watching, he was sure the sisters must have a hidden schedule in which they took turns looking down into the yards to keep the guard from relaxing too far. Drilling in front of the Commander was perfectly acceptable, welcomed in fact. It proved you were ready to the man who commanded you. Heck he hadn’t even cared when the Commander was a woman. But the sisters were different. Subconsciously his eyes traveled up the surface of the tower resting first where Sirayn had once resided as a Green and then later as the Amyrlin.

 

Like a child with too many dolls, the sisters where spoilt children playing with the lives of others haphazardly. Sure they did good in the world and served a greater purpose to the Light in this Age and all past. But those that lived in this place and bound themselves to the yard and it’s duty. Those where the dolls the sisters played with until they tired of them and then moved their gaze of destruction onto another. Perhaps Reiken had the right of it when he warned him not to rush into the plans of Aes Sedai. Only he had left the tower service and gone a far. Was there something else his old mentor had known and not imparted on his student?

 

The thought perplexed Corin briefly, his eyes moving once more to the latest location of his taskmistress. He had not known her quarters before leaving, but he knew her new ones. Not through intimacy or offered service; it was through the bondage of orders. Something she seemed to take great pleasure in reminding him. His hand closed in a fist on the missive he had been holding before tucking it and the dagger back into their rightful places. As much as he wanted to delay things further, he had run free of options. His tasks and training requirements for the day where complete and what little time she had now “granted” him as free was about to once more be used up.

 

Steeling himself for the task at hand he proceeded to the Tower entrance and the flight of stairs that would take him to the Grey quarters and Lavinya Sedia’s rooms. The missive spoke nothing of formality so he was happily not going to change into the dress uniform of the guard. Though it would buy him a few more minutes the inevitable was still looming before him. With the dinner hour at hand it was quieter in the halls then he was use to. A greater portion of the Novice girls must have been at dinner or perhaps they were still under the watching eye of a taskmistress of their own. Either way the thought was brief and he offered no time to it. Stopping before the door he had begun to detest, Corin took one final moment to mentally prepare for what was sure to be another silent battle wills.

 

Knocking once, Corin stifled a smirk as he immediately opened the door and stepped into Lavinya’s chambers before she could answer. Her missive ordered him here at first opportunity and stated she would be waiting. Hence logically there was no reason to be waiting out in the hall for her to invite him further. Logic that would never hold water of course, but a small silent win he was willing to pay for. His eyes found her quickly; stretched out on a chaise for all the world a queen to be at knee for. Only Corin was not ready to bend knee to any sister in complete servitude. The last one had been for not. He would serve; there was no doubt about that. But his knee bent only through duty or force of will now.

 

Normally he would be ready for the justly earned chastising that would result from such behavior. But this time, while mentally readying to trade verbal barb for verbal barb, he noticed something he had not previous. The dark circles that marred Lavinya’s otherwise smooth complexion under her eyes. Shadows that spoke of a need for rest, of a body that would be facing exhaustion soon. The view set off the puzzling in his mind; the focus allowing a hint of puzzlement to touch his face. Lost to his thoughts so deeply he momentarily forgot propriety; something he seemed to find new ways of exercising only to the exact letter needed. Biting the inside of his cheek lightly to regain his focus Corin offered her once more a letter perfect bow. “Lavinya Sedia. As you have requested I present myself before you.”

 

Corin

[Lavinya]

Despite having predicted correctly a lengthy wait, Lavinya was furious with Corin. A few hours, she had imagined, even half a day. But to avoid the summons until the sun was setting, that was beyond tolerable. She was going to stripe the hide from him when he arrived, heal him, and do it over again. Blasted man. A large portion of Lavinya's ire sprung from her exhaustion - loathe to be caught napping, she had resisted the overwhelming urge to sleep. And of course, being tardy as he was, that meant she had not managed any sleep in two days. Stifling yet another grunt of vexation, the red-headed Aes Sedai halted her angry stalking and moved back to her chair, forcing herself to relax. She would not give him the satisfaction of seeing just how much his deliberate delaying got under her skin. It was a power game to him, a small jab to illicit a reaction. It was natural to chafe at the bonds holding him to her. It wasn't because of who she was, he'd treat anyone in her position the same way. In fact, he was probably being less troublesome for Lavinya than he would be for anyone else. Yes, that was a much better way of looking at things; it certainly helped to control her temper.

 

Having again turned to her journal, Lavinya was soon distracted enough to almost forget the reason for her irritation, when a sharp rap on the door brought her back to the present with startling force. Instantly her heart leaped and began pounding in a panicked frenzy, Saidar filling her without thought and a nasty weave formed to detain the intruder before common sense reigned and she realised it was Corin that had entered without her leave. Light, he had been only a second away from being trussed like a pig and beaten to a pulp, but you wouldn't know he had done anything wrong from the look on his face. He stared at her in a rather scrutinising manner, and Lavinya reluctantly pushed the source away. All this had occurred in the space of a few seconds. Lavinya hadn't moved a whisker, appearing for all the world like a lady at her leisure. Good. If Corin knew the turmoil he had created just by walking into her rooms without leave...well it was not something she was prepared to discuss with anyone, especially Corin.

 

Closing her journal with a soft snap, Lavinya ignored the proper bow and gracefully rose from her recumbent position to stow it away safely within her desk drawer. Her heart was still pounding wildly; she struggled in her silence to return to normalcy. At least she had reacted; that was a good sign. Secretly she had been afraid - since her ordeal with Linten - that when it came to the crunch she would freeze with fear, would not even manage to channel. All in all, she was pleased with herself. So pleased, in fact, that much of her anger that had been on the boil for most of the day remained in the background. When she was sure that her drawer was securely warded, Lavinya surveyed Corin over her desk, chin propped on her hands. Her expression was neutral, she was thinking. How to deal with him? She had already discarded the idea of letting his lateness slide; give him an inch and he would take a mile. He'd already proven himself too willing to run with the bit between his teeth.

 

"Corin." Lavinya tapped her chin thoughtfully, his name a slightly exasperated sigh on her lips. "I will spare you from retelling me hour by hour just what important duties kept you occupied for so long today that you were unable to answer my request before now, largely because I have no desire to hear about you polishing your boots in great detail." One elegant brow quirked; telling him in no uncertain terms that she was fully aware of the childish game he had played and that she was unimpressed with it. "But rest assured; if you are going to be so hard to get a hold of in future when I require your services, I will have to speak to the commander. I'm sure there would be little objection to putting you fully under my supervision. I can ensure you have nothing to do that I have not told you to do." That should suffice for the moment; the slight colouring along Corin's cheekbones convinced Lavinya that she had struck a chord somewhere.

 

"Now, to matters at hand. Come, sit." Lavinya waved Corin to a chair, before busying herself about the room. The sun was sinking beyond the horizon, the shadows lengthening across the thick carpet. It would be full dark soon; best she light candles. "Tea?" Lavinya hid a smile as she worked, her back to the man who must be put off balance by now - what, with no shouting match and barely a lecture. If he could just avoid rousing her temper once more, this may be an agreeable meeting for a change. At the very least, a disconcerted Corin was an easier foe to best.

 

The tray Lavinya set on the low table held a teapot of blue sea folk porcelain and two delicate matching cups, along with a small pot of honey and one of cream. Pouring some of the strong brew into each of the cups, Lavinya took one for herself before sitting across from Corin in another chaise, embroidered slippers left behind on the floor so she could better curl her feet beneath her. She was too tired for formality and discomfort. "I need to give you more details of our mission," she began, peering over the rim of the cup into the emerald eyes that were the twins to her daughter's. The recognition brought a pang of melancholy, reminding her just how much she was missing Elise. Not to mention the guilt at knowing she kept the knowledge secret from Corin, the one person in the world who had a right to know of her existence. She sighed. One day, but not today...she was just too weary. Scrubbing a hand over her eyes, she turned them back to the tower guard that affected her like no one else ever could. Irritating, invigorating, enticing.

 

"It would be much easier if I could just confide everything in you," Lavinya admitted. Everything...he could not even guess the half of it! "But you put me in a difficult position by refusing to be anything more than a mindless mule. No one tells a mule anything; they are just given their load and slapped into motion." Lavinya smiled a little at this, quite liking the idea of slapping Corin into submission. Or maybe it was just the thought of laying her hands on him that was pleasing. Either sounded equally appealing. "I want to be able to discuss things with you, I believe your insight would be valuable." Lavinya smoothed her emerald skirts and shrugged delicately. "But it all depends on you. Is the curiosity killing you yet, or do you want to continue this farce where you are nothing but a simple minded swordsman and I pretend to believe you?"

 

Lavinya

[tismeb4u]

The almost sigh to his name touched off two warring emotions within. He reveled in the momentary joy that he had yet again perplexed or exasperated her. But from somewhere in the dark recesses of his mind a different meaning or edge to the sigh threatened to draw a shiver the length of his spine. Polar opposite responses for the same simple situation; an old battle within attempting resurrection from the dark frozen depths he had banished it from. Those warring emotions only engaged in war with each other further as the delicate arch of her brow reinforced both sides in the campaign.

 

The internal warring, like light mornings mist over the river caught in the current of a sudden north wind cut through and scattered from its hanging veil over the lowlands. To threaten him so with the Commander and complete control over his existence here tightened his jaw to cracking, bloomed a tinge of heated anger to his cheeks, and brought steel to his spine as he straightened his full length. He had no doubt since that whole arrival scene that she would get exactly what she wanted with the Commander when it came to Corin’s misery and life here at the tower; a problem that he had not been able to find a way out of. He had thought, a fleeting glimmer, that perhaps she was trying to help him. Remembered the stories he had confided in her about his dreams and desires as both a young man coming to Tar Valon and as a Tower Guard. Perhaps a friend to help lift him back from the depths of despair and guide back to the road of service and honor. Only she instead seemed to take the opportunity to make him continue to pay for his failures at both the protection of Sirayn and the love she had offered him.

 

Almost as if she could see his very thoughts and gauge the increasing tension and building anger with in, Lavinya swept it all into a cluttered mess of confusion with a sweep of hand and an offer to sit. Not a command, not even a question. Just a simple mater of fact request as if there were no walls between them. Simply old friends catching up on the weather and trivial conversation.  Glad that her back remained to him, Corin needed a moment to close his mouth that he noticed open as his bottom sat heavily into the indicated chair. A game, surely this must be some sort of Aes Sedai game. No lengthy lecture, there had been one in the subtleties, but not an in depth lecture he could argue the facts with her. No impeding punishment, a slap to the face with her control over his life most certainly. But done so quietly and dismissed so quickly he could not make a case of it without looking the petulant child. Even the question of tea was not actually a question the way she avoided looking at him; back still facing him. It was a notification that he was under thumb for the moment and she was going to make sure he stayed there.

 

Fine, bring your tea and your games, I have faced far better and worse advisories then you Lavinya my love. You want to dance with words then ….. His own thoughts furrowed his brow slightly and cut off the idea in mid flow as he tried to make sense of the words he had chosen. “Love”, where in the light had that notion come from. They had been very close friends. Friends with benefits one might even say. Now they barely seemed to find enough focus to remain barely civil to each other. Her doing really; not like he had been given a choice or anything like that. Aes Sedai and their need to control, distort and ruin lives whenever the whim moved them was what this was. Nothing more or less, he needed to remember that.

 

Impassively he watched Lavinya collect her cup and settle herself back into the chaise. Completely at ease and relaxed in the knowledge she held the upper hand between them once more for the moment. He was at least pleased with himself that the heat and it’s knowing color in his cheeks had faded and control was once more in his grasp, somewhat. The thought reinforced with another sigh from her. No doubt resignation that he was not about to relax as she was and carry this charade of casualness further. The slight tightness that had been around her eyes seemed to slacken momentarily as if she was lost in thoughts of her own before exhaustion seemed to claim her once more. Foolish woman. Perhaps if she actually stayed in once and got some decent sleep instead of trying to turn the heads of more of the trainee’s and newly raised guards she would have more of that Aes Sedia serenity to carry her though the day instead of looking wrung out. Even the light skirts in the city taverns look after themselves better. Then again, perhaps it was yet another way she was hoping to make him pay for those words in the field. If she wanted to be tousled by every man she could set her claws in who was he to judge? She was not his concern, no woman was. He had a duty to the Tower and its occupants. That duty did not include nursemaid; at least not entirely.

 

She was good. He was trying desperately to leave the Great Games behind him, but even a blind man could see the trap she set for him. It annoyed him to no end that. Well versed in the games he could see the guiding, new exactly that he was being lead into a box he would not be able to escape easily. Had he been using his training earlier and paying full attention he might have had a chance to fend off the guiding and avoid the trap. But he had been to absorbed in his own misery to notice until the gallows were before him and she sat smugly offering him the basket that would receive his head. A farce … a great many things where a farce. Taking the time to plot out points and counter points Corin leaned over and began preparing his cup.

 

The trap was elegant yet simple. To refuse would once more make him look childish and petty. To claim ignorance on the matter after the ties he still did not fully understand between her and Sirayn would only make him look the fool. To lash out in anger would be to accept defeat and prove himself niggling as she had offered nothing that could warrant such a response on it’s own. Realizing he was still spooning honey into his tea while frowning at the cup. Corin quickly released the tension from his face and gave the tea a quick stir hoping the greater quantity of the honey would remain on the bottom. “I assure you Lavinya Sedai, no guard Tower trained is a simple minded swordsman. Would that it be you would not be in need of us.” He brought the cup to lip but paused, “why curiosity would kill me I do not understand. Perhaps it is something that affects Aes Sedai in a negative fashion. They are always looking into the worlds closets.” He drew a light sip and suppressed a grimace at the syrupy taste that slowly slipped down his throat. Well there was nothing for it now that could be done. He would have to muscle through it and hope to water it done further with more tea as his cup neared empty.

 

“Interesting blend though I find mint much more relaxing really. Perhaps next time you will allow me to prepare a cup for you. I know of a very nice blend. Very relaxing, it would help you with those dark circles under your eyes.” Mirth danced delightful twinkles in his eyes. Oh he doubted he would be able to get away with it a second time. Why Sirayn had not killed him or reported him he would now never fully understand. He had doubted the suggested results of the brew until he had actually sat in that cabin and watched Sirayn awaken, shaken and cold. With no control of her body or the One Power; but a bite to her words as he had never felt before then. The glint of mirth helped to hid the slight sheen of an attempted tear. Forcefully he stuffed the emotion down deep. There was no room for emotions in this kind of dance.

 

Mentally grabbing his scattered thoughts and bringing them back to focus Corin tipped his cup toward Lavinya slightly. “But tea is not really why you summoned me here. You seem to know what skills you believe I posses and have already factored them into this trip of yours, so please continue. How may I serve you in this outing?” Oh she could try to mask this any way she wanted. But she had summoned him, and she was trying very hard to make him into something he was not sure he wanted to be any more. If he accepted a seat at Daes Dae’mar once again and played it the way she seemed to want him to; would he ever be able to step back again? Already she had his mind working the intricate circles of the game he had vowed died with Sirayn.

 

Corin

[Lavinya]

Lavinya almost choked on her tea when a wolfish expression glinted from those green eyes across from her. He looked positively mischievous, and coupled with his words...could he possibly be referring to forkroot? Was the wretch actually talking about drugging her? But then, he couldn't know about the herb, could he? Unless Sirayn had taken him into her confidence regarding their stockpile. And in that case, he might know where it was, and that would solve some of her and Estel's most imminent problems. But then, to bring it up she would have to reveal the fact that she knows there was more to Corin's relationship with Sirayn than a normal bond between a guard and Aes Sedai; that he was in fact her agent, spoken from the former Green's own lips. But potential benefits aside, the man was speaking of an atrocious act, putting her under its influence. She didn't know what irked her more - what he hinted at, or the knowledge that she looked less than fabulous in his presence. Dark circles...burn him, he would look no better under the same conditions.

 

How could he possibly deny his skills at Daes Daemar while he cleverly manoeuvred her back into a corner? He could almost play at being a Domani woman, hinting at everything and promising nothing. How could he be of service? He could start by losing the attitude, it was starting to grate on her nerves. Could there never be any sort of relaxing between them? Lavinya frowned, pondering her next move as though though about to place a stone on a board between them. He was denying her an opening to confide in him, unless she wanted to let everything slide and pretend there wasn't this contention between them. It was almost as though he wanted her to issue orders. It was tempting. It would be so easy to tell him what he had to know and what was expected of him and leave him to stew in it. But she didn't want that, not really. It all came down to trust. She wanted Corin to trust her enough to open up, to lower his defenses. And Lavinya needed to trust him, needed him to earn it before she could tell him anything - The Black Tower, the Order, Elise. So much she wanted to share, and he tied her hands.

 

"Do you think you are the only man with your skills? If it was all I wanted, I'm sure I could find someone more willing." Lavinya's exasperation was difficult to suppress, so she set her cup down, her hands tangling in her hair and tugging as though to ease it somewhat. "I'm trying to help you, you flaming idiot." She muttered, giving her curls another yank and unfolding herself from her chair to stalk aimlessly. "I'm trying to help us both. I thought we both could use a friend and a focus." Lavinya gestured wildly as she spoke, tired of being thwarted, of being unable to make any progress. Angrily she unravelled the wards on her desk, and rummaged in a drawer, pulling out one copy of her list and storming back to her chair, thrusting it on the table between them. "Consider that your punishment for keeping me waiting today. That is a list of things we will be needing for the trip. You will see about procuring them. I was going to ask for your input, but..." Lavinya sighed again, a resigned hiss. She'd been doing too much of that today. Why must everything erupt into a fireworks display between them? Lavinya knew what kind of sparks she'd prefer, looking across at the stubborn set of his jaw...she was so angry and frustrated and upset and filled with an unquenchable longing to kiss him breathless, to feel the walls come crashing down under the onslaught of passion. How could he not know how crazy he was making her?

 

Shaken somewhat from her anger by the wave of unexpected longing, Lavinya quieted. She was too tired, was letting too much slip through the cracks of her own defences. A well rested woman would be calmer, more in control. Picking up the sheaf of parchment, Lavinya held it out to Corin. "I'm not trying to ruin your life Corin, I swear it. I will not force you where you will not go." Her voice was steady, soft. "But tell me, are you not even a little curious? Don't you wonder just what protection I have? What the mission is? Who is going? Why would a Grey, unbonded sister be heading to the blight on a very quiet mission?" Lavinya bit her lower lip, not wanting to say the last but certain it was needed to stop the fruitless game of pretend. Brown eyes lifted to meet green, a hint of what could almost be regret glimmering in their depths as she uttered the last with as little sting as she could.

 

"They are the least of the questions that would be plaguing an agent of Sirayn Damodred."

 

Lavinya

[tismeb4u]

The outward expression, a simple frown, in the context of the game brought an old and warming feeling to Corin. The thrill of pushing an opponent off their game; to catch them off guard and keep them off balance spiked a sharp hunger in the pit of his stomach. He had loved this part, this feeling. It had been like a drug to him; a drug Sirayn had introduced him to and one he long to prove his worth to her through. The memory and desire so interlinked with those storm grey eyes put an acidic taint to the exhilarating feelings that were beginning to form. He had said he was done with these games. They died with Sirayn; the only one he ever need and wanted to prove his worth to.

 

Lavinya had been different; she had accepted the guard he hid in plain site as. Accepted the boy that had come to the tower seeking adventure and a purpose. She had no plans or desires of him back then beyond that of her heart; something he had shamelessly taken advantage of and left rent open and wounded. It was understandable that she would hate him; loath to be in his presence and want him to suffer as he had made her. But she hadn’t, not entirely. Her actions never made sense. Why did she seem to want to constantly push him toward something that should be no more then a plausible guess. It was somewhat know that Corin could be seen at some of the same gatherings as Sirayn and had even been her escort.  Tingle lit his arm briefly, the flood of memories and the light tentativeness of her touch against his arm when she had used him for such. The memories turned him inward and threatened once more to light his eyes in a sheen of unshed tears least he get control of himself.

 

The movement of setting her cup down drew his attention back and gave him an avenue in which to focus his attention away from memories that threatened to undo him. Gently he pushed the thoughts back, settled them in the edge of thought so he could call them back in when he was alone in his quarters once more. How many times now had that room seen him in tears, in anger, in out right rage, but mostly in a dense fog of loss and mourning. He had thought it would be easier to return to the Tower and leave off everything he had been. To blend into the rest of the other Red Cloaks and live out his existence until steel found it’s way though his flesh in the service and left him to pour out his life’s blood on the ground. Something his old friend turned taskmistress seemed to be determined not to let happen.

 

Help me? Then let me be woman. Stop pushing me to be what died with her passing and let me exist, as I must now. As for friends? A friend would let him be. Let him become what he must and not constantly remind him of his failure. Her actions should have him filled with pride, the blatant disregard to rein in her emotions or actions would have back then. Normally he would be the wolf circling its prey while preparing the finishing blow. Only with Lavinya he couldn’t. He didn’t want this, didn’t what to force her hand, play these games anymore. She should have been a friend and a confidant; instead she was yet another game piece to be moved as needed to complete the goal. Only he no longer new what that goal was. There was no one to direct him now.

 

Corin lowered his cup back to the table and let his face soften slightly. He could not show concern, would not. If he did she would only get the wrong opinion and believe him under thumb, a meek dog happily on the leash. That was something he could not let happen, not again. But too much of what she had been to him had begun to surface. The Tower and the Guard together had tied Corin to Lavinya when he returned. Now the constant time spent in each others company had begun to over power his will to forget his first life in the tower. Memories constantly bombarded him now and were beginning to wear him down. The helpless, frustrated look on her face; heavy in the sighs that continued to escape from her twinged a pain in his heart he had thought long since buried and gone.

 

His hand rose slightly as if to collect the parchment she proffered as her words continued to rattle on. He did care, burn him, he did care about her safety. He shouldn’t, no he should. But only to the level of that of a Tower guard watching over his charges life. Only she had turned him in so many knots since he had returned that old feeling that should not have been there, after what he had done he had no right to feel them, were warring once more for space and he was not sure how long he could keep from slipping. No, he cared and could not afford to show it. Worst still there seemed to be no indication from the Commander that he might find a reprieve from this assignment. Their eyes met, regret glimmering in the shadows of Lavinya’s, and set the weight a little to far to one end of control. A wall that he could no longer maintain under a gaze that almost spoke of surrender was beginning to crumble. Some thing she must never do as an Aes Sedai. She gave up the right of surrender when she took the Ring and Shawl. He could not be responsible for the lose of yet another talent this Tower needed.

 

Ice water. Her last words where little more then a soft and almost hesitant whisper. But their weight carried that of Dragonmount itself. Ice water doused heartily over a heated stone at the hearth. The words where not a question; not a quizzical statement. They were said with the full weight of knowledge behind them. Like the rock, shattered and broken, every emotion that had been at war in Corin shattered like fine Sea Folk porcelain hurled against stone. His hand stopped just short of the parchment the only true indication of being shaken. But the sudden emptiness that settled over him; a white cotton shroud slowly slipping over the dead after their passing; would have spoken volumes of a man suddenly defensive.

 

Emerald green eyes, now empty and hard edged, bored into the softer brown that confronted him. Bored through them seeking any indication of betrayal or trap. His lips had thinned under the compression of tightly held tension. But his posture and shoulders remained in that deadly ease of a skilled swordsman. The pause stretched out between them, the parchment still in her out stretched hand and his just short of retrieving it. It was a turning point. One that could never been taken back now. If she knew his station to Sirayn then what else did she know? Could it have been her jealousy that had Sirayn no longer among them? Unlikely, she had ties of her own that he still did not fully understand. That, he meant to rectify and quickly. There was no way to deny it now, not with the way she stated it. There was no doubt in her eyes or her voice; something was there, caution perhaps. After all one did not slap the face of a bear without a great deal of caution and wariness.

 

Finally, Corin tipped his head slightly in acknowledgment of her statement. “It is unwise to speak of her circles of influence with the wrong people.” There was no bite to his words; no anything. It was delivered flat and empty as he collected the parchment from her hands and began to scan it. “You need these collected and have assigned them to me so shall I see it done. You speak of protection and a quiet mission; these would concern any Guard in the Tower. But yes, in my case I do have concerns over your, the parties safety and its destination. Something I believe I will have little sway over but would appreciate the façade of being consulted on.” He set the parchment down on his lap, lacing his fingers together before resting them on it as well. His gaze took in her whole stance and expression. The player had control of the game pieces in his head now and there was no sense trying to deny that training from its purpose. She had called him out and he had no option available to him but to answer. “You speak of a mission, I would assume that you have a plan and an objective for this little outing. If you are to make use of my talents, as you so eloquently put it, then perhaps you would be willing to let me in on these details. Aes Sedai make a very desirable and tempting target that close to the blight. I would assume you have some form of disguise planned to keep your identities secreted?” His words held none of the usual barbs, no hidden challenges as it had before. He was now simple at man at business, a tool preparing to be used. How many of your nightingales did you confide in Sirayn? How many others hands have you set my leash in? It seemed that even in death he would forever walk in her shadow. She was not done with him and she was not about to let him out from her training and purposes either. Perhaps people were right, Aes Sedai did not need the One Power and a bond to tie a person to their purpose.

 

Corin

A tool caries no emotion, it is a tool not a person

 

[Lavinya]

Nothing. Lavinya watched Corin warily, chewing on her lower lip, a habit she had tried to rid herself of as it revealed her uncertainty. There was nothing. Oh, there was a subtle reaction to her revelation; a tensing, a pause in his movement...and then he went blank, as though he had erected a new barrier to keep himself hidden behind. Lavinya's heart ached with regret. She could have spared him the pain, true, but one had to lance a boil to drain it, you couldn't ignore it and hope it would go away on its own. If only there was some indication to his thoughts, some surprise at her knowledge, even an admission that she was correct. But no. He gave her nought.

 

All the emotion seemed to have fled from Corin's voice, his features. Lavinya wanted to scream her frustration. This was not progress! If anything, he had retreated another ten steps back for the one or two he may have made forward. He should be upset, or angry; baiting her or mocking or interrogating. This was far worse than any of their arguments. Lavinya listened in mute disbelief as Corin spoke, all brisk efficiency and total lack of feeling. It was obvious that he was avoiding the issue of Sirayn altogether, as though the topic had no bearing on anything. The mission was what he was there to discuss, and so he would do his job. No more, no less. Lavinya wanted to reach out, to touch and comfort him, but feared he may lash out at her as though it were a provocation. How was she to reach him? How was she supposed to make things right, make it so they could again smile and be civil, find comfort in the other's mere presence. Was it even possible? It had to be; she would not give up.

 

"Saline Sedai will be my travelling companion, a sister from the Red Ajah." Lavinya wanted to cry. The emptiness in him was unbearable, so at odds to the man inside, a testament to how she must have just hurt him, how he still mourned for his lost love. Hadn't she done the same? Except Lavinya had found Corin in the end...and he was still as lost to her as ever. She had to look away, taking her teacup in hand once more and studying the contents intently. "We will be escorted by a company of hired mercenaries; the Red Guard. If you wish it, I will arrange for you to inspect them and question them as you please." This was not how the discussion should have been progressing. She had wanted to discuss, to plan together. Not this mindless dictating and passive listening. She still had no concept of how far she could trust him in this state. It may not even be wise to reveal everything to him. She sipped her tea, wishing she had laced it with brandy.

 

"Two sisters disappeared, by the blight border. It is our wish to find them, if we can." Painfully aware that her words would remind Corin of his own failed mission to find the missing Amyrlin, Lavinya kept her face averted and her words matter of fact. "We will be meeting with a Cairheinen who has potential information pertaining to their whereabouts. If you want to know what information we have already, I can show you; there is not much. Maps, and rumours." Lavinya frowned, hating how ill-thought out the plan sounded when voiced, hated the idea of Corin thinking her a fool on a fool's errand. Better to be thought of as such than to actually be dim-witted - and staying in the tower while those black coats were here was indeed unwise in her opinion. "Yes, we have planned for a disguise. I am to play the part of a young noble woman, being sent off for marriage. Saline Sedai shall pass as my ladies' maid, the mercenaries as the guard. You will be my brother." It was almost comical to think Lavinya would be playing a part she had fled to the tower to avoid - a marriage to a no account man against her will.

 

Leaving him to process the information - not that he appeared to be doing anything, he looked as inanimate as ever - Lavinya opened the doors to her private balcony and stepped outside into the twilight. The air was cooling now that the sun had set, the slight breeze stirring goosebumps along her flesh as she looked out over the ornate railing into the shadowy gardens beyond. Mentally she was kicking herself for the way she had mismanaged Corin. If only he would give her some sort of indication of what to do, some hint of warmth or softness, but he gave her nothing but barbs and walls. Was he afraid she was still clinging to hope of gaining his affections? She was, deep down, but he did not need to know that, and it made no difference - she was not going to pursue him if he did not want it. Of course he didn't want it! Cursed fool idiot she was, the man was mooning over the woman he had loved, and here she was wondering when he was going to come around and fall in love with her.

 

Moving back to the doorway, Lavinya stood just outside and watched him, that familiar ache squeezing her chest. He was hurting, and she had just opened the wound a little further. Maybe it would ease him if he knew just how Lavinya knew what she did. Lavinya leaned her back against the door post, half in the shadows and half in the candlelight flickering from the many candles littered about the room, "I am almost certain that I am the only one to know of such a connection between you and...and her." Lavinya said quietly, eyes turned outside towards the gradually appearing stars. "She told me, herself. That day we...the day we met." Lavinya felt herself choking up at the memories and forced herself to stay calm and serene. Embarrassment heated her cheeks despite her best efforts; Sirayn had set about chastising Lavinya for making a public scene with Corin in the gardens, and had in the end admitted he was her agent. Light, Sirayn had even given her blessing. But how foolish she was, blindly accepting and loving Corin, when all along he was intimately connected with Sirayn, loved her. Loved her. And she'd made a fool of herself. Still now, the shame of it stung. "She summoned me for a meeting, to reprimand me on my lack of propriety, and admitted you were her agent." At least Lavinya knew now that they hadn't bonded in secret, but it would have saved so much pain if Sirayn had just warned her off Corin there and then. As if she would ever have listened. "I have never told anyone...and I will not...there is no need for your name to be connected with hers..." Lavinya trailed off, once more biting her lower lip. If his name had been connected with Sirayn's, there was little doubt he would be hauled off for questioning, possibly even suspected of being party to her disappearance. That was what Lavinya had tried to save him from in having him bound to her, if only the man wasn't too blinded by his own miseries to see it. "Bloody-minded Ingrate." She muttered, folding her arms beneath her breasts and scowling at the stars.

 

Lavinya

[tismeb4u]

Corin noted the sudden shift in her gaze, the contents of the teacup

suddenly holding interest or important information. It was a classic

telltale of avoidance. He had learned many of his lessons well;

perhaps to well in light of the past. He nodded at her offer of

inspecting the mercenaries. How she could even think he would have

gone along with any fool plan that did not have the guard watching

their lives without checking them over first was a mystery. Did she

really think that little of him? No, it could not be that. She had

just stated how she knew he contained a skill set well used and well

ingrained from the hands of a great master. Either she was lost in

thought on another topic she was not ready to share with him, or she

was trying to test him. Time would prove the truth of which, for now

he simply nodded his agreement and continued to study her.

 

His eyes hardened; the skin around them tightening as pictures of his

fresh failure once more was thrown in his face. He had tried, damn

them all, he had tried to find her. Went as far as he could along that

boarder; into it until the borderland guards dragged him back. He

could not find one woman and here she wanted him to find two. She was

supposed to be his watcher. The one to ensure he assimilated back to

the roles he had been awarded prior to his absence. Now she wanted to

drag him back into the darkness. Focusing he relaxed the grip of his

hands, taking note of the whitening of his knuckles where they were

pretending to be at rest in his lap. The admission of the hearsay and

conjecture the search was to be based on only heaped further tension

into his shoulders. Not only was she going to drag him back in to the

dark loss of failure, she was going to do it with two more lives on

the line and information little more then insignificant. So he would

have nothing really to go on, two sisters and a group of mercenaries

to watch over, and some how find two other sisters. How under the

light did she expect him not to fail? Perhaps that was what the over

all goal was. If he failed yet again then she would have justification

to keep him tied to the leash in her hand. Why did she want him tied

to her when she still hated him for the hurt he had caused her?

 

So, he was to be the façade in charge of the small group that would be

traveling north. It should have pleased him; only his time with Sirayn

had reinforced how little control that position held. What he might be

able to force through while in the public eye, would quickly be

changed and punished once that public eye was removed or distracted.

When Aes Sedai was involved you were never in control of anything. How

did the Gaidin keep their sanity? His eyes followed her to the

balcony. The fading sunset bathed her red hair in highlights of silver

tones and framed her outline in purples and shadow. She was stunning,

a sudden catch in his throat quickly swept back under control. It was

good her back was to him. Last thing he needed was for her to see he

still remembered her as they had been. The only reason she had stepped

out on the balcony was to get away from his presence briefly. He was

sure of it; he had hurt her deeply and now she tolerated his presence

long enough to ensure he was becoming worthy of the Tower once more

and to exact a small measure of vengeance for how he had treated her.

 

A dark thought slipped oily across his mind. Perhaps this was the

final revenge Sirayn had set out to exact a payment for the cabin.

With her last sweeping scheme she set him up to balance between

traitor and whipping boy; giving Lavinya final control of his limited

life. A parting gift to one of her trusted; revenge. It would make

sense; Lavinya knew things only someone in Sirayn’s confidence should

know. How deep the confidence was he might never find out, and by

placing him in the hands of one he had devastated. It was only a

surety that his suffering would be long. Even in death my dear

Sirayn your schemes are brilliant. I had almost believed that you

would not seek vengeance on me for that foolishness. As like all the

others I have watched, I now pay for that under estimation.

 

The movement broke his thoughts as she slipped back to the doorframe

and leaned back, candlelight dancing over her silhouette, a mix of

shadow and light. The display, a visual example of his internal

emotional conflict. Corin’s eyes sharpened intently at her admission.

So I was right, she had placed the leash in Lavinya’s hands.

The confirmation brought none of the release he had expected. Instead

it torn open the slow healing rent still across his heart. He noted

the flush that touched her cheeks as she indicated their first

meeting. It had been so fresh and innocent. How easily they had fit

with one another in conversation; flirty tones and innuendoes

intertwined in the conversation. It had been the first time he had

kissed her. His eyes focused on her half shadowed lips as they spoke.

That had been a lifetime ago. Now she only remembered it as a foolish

step that got her hurt. The flush was surely suppressed anger at how

he had played her. Only that had not been his intention; never was.

 

So there it was, she had kept that secret. The question was, how many

others had Sirayn placed him in servitude to? A new thought tweaked

the edge of the puzzle spinning in his mind. Did Lavinya know if there

were any others? Doubtful or he would have been serving more then one

taskmistress. He knew there was a very mixed emotion in the Tower as

to Sirayn’s disappearance, but he had some ties to Sirayn that certain

people would know, or at least have a strong guess to. Conjecture, it

was a robe he had learned to live and survive in. Now it was a

double-edged sword that both saved and threatened him. For now he

would have to trust Lavinya to keep her head and her word. Slowly he

rose from the chair he had been fixed to like a statue. “You should

not speak of the dead like that. Sirayn was many things but she was

far from a bloody-minded ingrate.” Collecting a light cover from the

back of the settee she had earlier been sitting on, Corin draped it

over her shoulders gentle; taking her folded arms as an indication of

being chilled. “I am truly sorry I was the cause of a meeting with her

for you. She is … was a force when it came to reprimands.” He patted

her should lightly and then slipped past her into the night air to

lean on the railing and stare down at the yard below.

 

How many times had Siryan looked down from the various heights in the

Tower? Looked down on him while she plotted out the next thread in her

web that she would task him to. Was it the same with all the sisters?

Did they all sit in these heights like chess players and plot out the

movements they would set the pawns in the yard to? He resisted the

urge to look back at Lavinya; wondering if she too plotted the lives

of his fellow guardsman. “There are things that are said for all to

hear even when they are not in the room. Then there are those that are

said for no other yet a room can hear. In the Tower any room can have

ears and yet any room can be as silent as stone on a hill.” He knew

the Aes Sedai could use a weave that would stop the movement of sound

allowing non-other to hear words passed between them. It was something

he never waited on with Sirayn. She new the weight of words and the

worth of secrecy. She chose what was needful to be secreted from

others and what could be left to chance so as not to draw suspicion.

He only hoped Lavinya had also learned that lesson from his old

teacher.

 

How many times had he faced her and the rough side of her tongue? How

many sudden duties and dismissals had been part of those reprimands?

The banishment; it had to have been the breaking point between them.

Things had been going so well up until then. If only he would have

thought clearly before taking on such a foolish mission. Silence

between them made the air around him feel heavy. The last time he had

been alone with her on a star light night had been … He felt the heat

touch his cheeks and was glad that he faced out toward the yard, face

shadowed from her eyes. The Ogier grove would forever be a part of his

memory; a part of their past. The lessons she had taught him. He felt

the heat redouble and he forced the thoughts away, focused on the cool

light breeze. A tool. I am a tool of Sirayn’s and now that tool is

in the hands of one of her trusted. Be the tool, bend to the will of

the mistress’s hand but do not break! The thoughts help ease the

heat that had suffused his cheeks and helped ensure his voice remained

steady. Taking one last look into the yard below, he gripped the

railing forcefully for a moment to reset his thoughts then he turned

back toward Lavinya; posture once more straight and tall.

 

“Your plan has a lot of … flexibility to it.” It was the only way he

could think to say it. The plan was full of holes; it was barely even

plausible to call it a plan. But for the moment he no longer found it

a need to pick apart everything she laid out before him. Even his tone

was casual, a thread of friendship hinting at it’s edges. “I would

very much like to meet this Red Guard you and Saline Sedai have such

faith in. As for the disguise,” a twitch at the corner of his mouth

hinted at a smirk that never bloomed. “You have chosen an interesting

one. I will be sure to play the part fully when we are out and about.”

Corin knew when it came down to it; Lavinya would listen and do as she

was told. But it would be he who paid the price once they were alone

again. “Have you arranged for lodging along the way or will we be

doing that as we travel?” The significance of the question was small

but it kept him from slipping back into thoughts of Sirayn and Lavinya

beyond that of this mission.

 

Corin

[Lavinya]

He had brought confusion to her senses too many times to count, had befuddled her brain and her heart, but never so much as when he approached her with the light blanket and draped it about her shoulders. Such a simple gesture -gallant really - offering warmth against the evening chill. But did it contain hidden meanings? Was it a subconscious slip into his chivalry of old? Or was it a genuine softening, an act of friendship? Did he see it as a mere service any tower guard would perform for a sister who seemed to be discomfited by the weather? So many possible messages, all could equally be wrong. Maybe there was no meaning, it could have been a manoeuvre designed to elicit these conflicting thoughts and put her off her course. He was well versed in Daes Dae’mar, that she knew, but had never thought to have to wade through it herself to merely converse with him. Why it had never occurred to her she didn’t know, it was evidence of just how completely he had bewitched and bewildered her.  That he had mistaken her words aimed at Sirayn and not at himself was demonstrative of just how easily she could misinterpret his intentions in providing the blanket. Yes, safest course would be to not look beneath the surface.

 

Lavinya drew the soft material about her closer and refused to think of why it made her feel warmer on the inside too, her eyes following Corin as he joined her on the elegantly appointed balcony, sculpted with indescribable skill like the rest of the White Tower, as though the smooth white stone had been merely wax. A force Sirayn indeed had been – though the only scars Lavinya wore from that meeting were the result of her own shameful weakness. She had cried like a school girl denied a dance on the woman’s shoulder, no less.  But she was not sorry for it, not anymore. The thread of her life had been altered by their chance meeting in the gardens, and had led her to where she stood. If not for that embarrassing meeting, many things would be less clear, more enduring in their pain. Why, if she had never learned the identity of the mysterious green with a hold on Corin, she doubted she would have been so quick to leap to his aid. Not when she couldn’t be sure if he was still dancing on another’s strings.

 

Was that what she was becoming? His puppet master? The thought made her frown at Corin’s back. She had never deliberately set out to rule him or use him as her tool. He was the one she had wanted to bond, to be her shield and confidant and intimate…friend.  But wasn’t she doing that now? He was tied to her for now, whatever he thought about it. She could order him as she willed, and the light knew she had been doing some of that, if not nearly as much as she could. But it was all in the name of healing him, of returning him to the man she knew and loved, to one who was again fit to serve. Would she be able to let him go, when the time came? Yet another question she was too frightened to answer, afraid she knew what it was.

 

From the outward, Corin looked to be a simple man. Well not simple perhaps, but straightforward. He was a man, trained to guard the tower and it’s inhabitants; one who would live and die by the sword. A man sworn to a duty. But nothing was ever what it seemed. Corin was so much more than a skilled weapon, much as he was trying to pretend otherwise. He was intelligent and witty – though sadly most of his wit of late was dry and aimed at Lavinya. He was a skilled player of the game of houses, adept at unravelling the subtlest of clues and innuendos. But even more, he was warm, kind, passionate. Honourable and dutiful, selfless. At least, the Corin she had run from had been all these things. How much of the man that had easily and unwittingly wooed her remained inside his shell? And could she draw them out? Or would she be the one to break him completely. After all, she had to eventually reveal that he was also a father, of the most beautiful little girl in the entire world who had his eyes.  What if he rejected Elise, rejected the both?

 

Secrets, so many secrets. It was the lot of an Aes Sedai in a way, to hold back so much. There was no decree that all things must be kept secret, but it was an unspoken rule that all women who attained the shawl and ring shrouded themselves in mystery and revealed as little as possible. Lavinya held to many things in her own confidence, secrets that seemed to weigh her down. Elise was the greatest, but there were more. The night terrors and fear of the Black Coats even now haunting the tower grounds; Linten and the debacle that had been the mission to the Black Tower. Few truly knew and understood what had happened to the sisters there; fewer still knew just how vilely Lavinya had been treated, and that it haunted her dreams still. That she rarely slept, and rarer still at night in the dark. It would be nice, she decided, to have someone to talk to. Corin, if he would let her. But the fear of his reaction alone was enough to hold her tongue in silence.

 

Lavinya moved to stand beside Corin, resting her arms on the railing as they both contemplated the gardens shrouded in shadows. He was one who would understand her predicament, she thought. “My apartments are always warded against eavesdropping,” she said, noting the slight thawing in his tone, “whether I am alone or with company. It draws less suspicion that way.” She did not add that he need not worry about what was spoken in her presence, that there was freedom in her apartments. He would understand. “I will arrange for you to meet the Red Guard, you will see for yourself why we have decided the way we have. “ Idly she twirled the great serpent ring that adorned her finger. It was her freedom and her prison.  Lavinya turned her head, studying Corin’s profile. How could such a complicated man seem so uncomplicated? But his was a soul that ran deep, like a pond that had such depth that the happenings underneath scarcely rippled the surface. “I would appreciate your opinion of them – I would rather you didn’t think me a complete lack-wit.”

 

Lavinya’s lips twitched into a wry smile. “Flexible is one way to put it – I know how many glaring holes fill our plans. I’m afraid the mission is of Saline Sedai’s making, I am merely an assistant, and neither of us have much practical experience when it comes to planning a journey such as this. Your assistance would be invaluable, if you are willing to give it.” Lavinya raised a brow. “If not you will be forced to suffer any missteps in silence.” Lavinya didn’t want to discuss something so paltry as their mission; she wanted to discuss life, love, poetry. To hear Corin laugh, to tease and flirt. To discern the mysteries of the universe together, to delight over the creation of their intimate union. She wanted the tension to dissipate, for them to be at ease with one another – but it would take time. Time she didn’t want to waste, but what choice did she have? “Of course, your role in the party makes it easier for you be as surly as you like in public, what sweet sister would go against the wishes of her beloved brother?” Lavinya offered Corin a playful smile before turning back to the sights beyond the balcony that she did not really see.

 

“We have much yet to truly organise; well at least I do. No, now you do.” Lavinya nodded towards the pocket that contained her list. “If anything is missing it, add it. If you believe something unnecessary, tell me. We have not arranged accommodation as yet, it was my opinion that securing lodging as we went would allow for the most flexibility, given we are unsure precisely where our new information will lead us. So long as it leads us away from…” Lavinya halted and looked at Corin out of the corner of her eye, torn for the moment before silencing the thought or continuing. He had to know at least a rudimentary explanation of what had happened at the Black Tower, it would not be surprising to know Lavinya did not enjoy their company, she decided in the end. “…from the Asha’man, I will be well satisfied.” Agitated that she may have ruined the brief spell of calm in one stroke, Lavinya straightened and tugged at the makeshift wrap on her shoulders. He had patted her there, like a friend would. A small gesture of comfort. Would he try to comfort her if he knew of her anxieties? Would he embrace her? Tell her everything was going to be fine, because he would protect her?

 

“Blood and ashes.” She muttered, seeking for a diversion from her wayward thoughts. Lavinya was the one who was supposed to be aiding Corin, not looking for him to save her from her nightmares!  Embarrassment caused colour to paint her cheeks, which Lavinya hoped he did not see to question. He must think the most dreadful things about her lack of control, one minute snapping at him and the next blushing like a maiden with a crush. Not to mention the many slips with her language, under her breath or not. Lavinya turned, arms once more tightly folded within the blanket as she leaned back against the rail, eyes focused on the candlelight dancing within her rooms. Calm, where was her unflappable Aes Sedai calm? “Your assistance in preparing for this journey will be invaluable; I hope you will give it.” Eyes cut sideways briefly, assessing. “I would be loathe to draw it out of you unwilling.” A sudden grin, filled with much of her old mischievousness, surfaced, and Lavinya could not help but catch Corin’s eye in search of a fellow conspirator before she turned her head and stifled it. She really did not want to explain her sudden burst of humour, was in fact shocked at the inappropriate vision that had filled her thoughts in that moment. Some things were impossible to change, it would seem.

 

“Tell me, what have we possibly overlooked?”

 

Lavinya

[tismeb4u]

Corin’s eyes flicked to the side to note her movement to the railing.

How different this meeting could be if not for … no, he would not let

the thoughts intervene again. There was a mission a head with much

needed planning. He had to keep his focus on the job at hand, after

all he was a tool. A tool for the use of Aes Sedai as the twist of her

ring reminded him. Flicking emerald eyes back to the dark depths below

he contemplated for the umpteenth time how easily Sirayn has set such

a wide leash to him; a leash he would be ever bound to now that it was

placed in the hands of others. How many are there truly? The

question was as fleeting as the life of a shooting star streaking

toward it’s end. Lack-wit, there was a term he would not use to

frame the woman standing next to him. Lavinya was far from a lack-wit,

and their time together talking and learning about each other early on

had proven that. In fact from what Corin had been able to uncover,

with his small little group, Lavinya was very far from lack-wit. He

had still not sought out what had happened in the tower while he was

away. But he doubted she could have changed that much. Somewhere in

that head was a shrewd brain that found many different ways of getting

Lavinya exactly what Lavinya wanted.

 

He had expected it. Been watching for it. Of the many things Corin had

learned since coming to the tower, the way of Aes Sedia was one of

them. Give comment and praise in honey to temper the sting of bitter

truth that was always near at hand. Her comment about being forced

only solidified his belief in that. He nodded his head stiffly to

acknowledge her comment; How many more strings to contend with?

He caught the smile from the corner of  his vision and pondered it’s

meaning briefly. Was it meant in friendship, something innocent and

playful? At one time he would have thought only that … now? Now it

could also be a snide warning that he should be very careful how far

he decided to push that façade. The balancing act came in deciding how

much of each was involved. It was in times like this he often thought

that perhaps his old mentor had the right of it with regards to Aes

Sedai. Though he knew he could no sooner walk away from this now then

he could his own skin. Lavinya had relit a measure of the intrigue

inside him and he did not want to see it snuffed out like a candle

flame just yet. It felt too …. Comfortable.

 

Patting the pocket lightly with the list his taskmistress had arranged

for him. Corin began to absently match items to locations they could

be collected from, while Lavinya’s words slipped over him. This was

familiar; mind working on multiple issues. He attended an Aes Sedai in

planning, logistics, and deed. All familiar to a life that was, that

could be again. Only there were no gray eyes, no stiff regimented

separation, and no cool controlling tones. Sirayn was not here, she

was not the Aes Sedai he attended now; would ever again. His leash had

been past and now deep brown pools he could not fully study as he had

the gray guided and held the leash. His thoughts evaporating like the

rivers morning mist as the sun’s heat touched its fragile existence.

Corin’s eyes cut to find Lavinya studying him in that detached

measuring way the sisters had. Something was there he could feel it.

She was hiding something, something she was unsure of or wanted to

keep from him perhaps. He had no proof of course, just a gut feeling.

But Sirayn had long proven to him that his gut feelings usually had a

reason if unknown until Sirayn bloody Sedai was ready to tell him.

 

A new puzzle formed and began to spin in his mind; the mission and its

pieces dimming slightly but still there. The pause came in light of

the poor cursed men in black cloth. Asha’man he seemed to remember

them noted as. Strange choice of titles, but then they were cursed to

go mad. One did not spend a lot of time on the name of a rabid dog

that would have to be put down soon. Actually Corin was finding it a

little odd to see them here, unguarded. He would have expected the Red

sisters would have dealt with them in a proper fashion by now. Once

again, Aes Sedai not reacting or conforming to the mold one would

expect. He pushed the new puzzle back a bit to leave more focus on his

tasks at hand and the delicate cease fire Lavinya and Corin seemed to

have temporarily come to. But he made a few mental notes to start to

dig into the few off handed whispers he had heard relating to Lavinya

and the Black Tower. Something had happened there, and now it appeared

perhaps something more then what was being generally shared.

 

Foul language, defensive posturing, and a change in tone once more.

The woman was all over the map with her outbursts. For an Aes Sedai

they would be considered all over the map. For a common woman they

would be normal anxiety, a standard display of loosely controlled

emotions. Something perfectly expected from the overly sensitive side

of the human race. Something that he was certain they must removed

from the sisters on their raising with the One Power. It was folly for

sure, but how else could you explain the barren field of emotions that

controlled the Aes Sedai; memories of his past meetings with Lavinya

tickled at his mind. He could almost laugh at that odd thought if it

didn’t feel true so often. He turned and met her glance with a flat

expression. The smile, a bit of color still staining her cheeks,

threatened to bring forth the morning rays and see him before the

Mistress of trainees for filling a guard’s boots with honey and fire

ants all at the same time. Why did she insist on trying to tear him

apart? Why couldn’t she be happy with the leash she already used to

control his life; always needing to find another way to torture him.

The smile faded and the coolness returned. Better, at least if it’s

kept to the business at hand the leash will not feel as much the mill

stone as you try to make it my dear. A perplexing thought, why did

he use such an endearing term for her? He had given up that right when

he had hurt her; given it up before that even. What he had offered her

was false and he knew it. He had tied himself to Sirayn long before he

had met Lavinya. Why had he offered her such false hope? It was not

like him. A lot of things were not like him since he had become

Sirayn’s pupil. His fingers dug into his palm to try to bring his mind

back to the task at hand, mainly surviving another meeting with

Lavinya. An emotional meeting it would seem. If she would only get a

hold of herself then perhaps his mind would not keep wandering around

so many mind fields.”

 

Corin pushed off from the balcony rail and turned to stand facing her.

It was late; perhaps the hour was affecting them both negatively. He

studied her for a moment and then came to an agreement in his head

that it was past time she slept. That meant it was past time for him

to be away from here and at the bloody list she had set aside for him

rather then the Tower servants; who were most likely have a great

laugh at his expense. The trivial things that she seemed to find for

him almost made him wonder if she didn’t sometimes think he was one of

the Novices. Once more pushing the cluttered thoughts back into some

semblance of order Corin tried to put a measure of gentleness to his

otherwise distant voice. “You have asked me to aid you in planning and

process. I can not offer you realistic and thoughtful advise without

having taken the time to put that thought into all you have laid out

tonight in it’s regard. Thus I believe I should offer you a goodnight

Lavinya Sedai and depart so that I may put my talents, as you put it,

to full use. You are tired and need your rest. The journey will be

long and soon upon us. Perhaps in the morning when we meet again I

will have further insight for you to ponder.” He offered her a deep

and formal bow. “Until”, his eyes glanced at the sky to confirm night

had set around them, “the morrow then, if you have no further need of

me. I will retire to my rooms and put thought to your request. With

time I hope my services will be worth your level of expectation.” He

paused waiting to see if he would receive her release or if she still

had more coals to drag him over. Funny that. Why did he care if she

released him? He hadn’t cared if she awaited him when he arrived to

this meeting. Yes it was past time for sleep and clarity of thought.

 

Corin