DUEL AT PANCAKES HOUSE (Edielin!!!!)

[Dunbar]

Tonight, we dine on pancakes!

 

READY THY MOUTH!

 

*opens it*

 

ENGAGE!

 

*eats one gajillion pancakes*

[Twitchy]

*Connects a metal thingy to his mouth, making it continuously open*

*Eats two gajillion pancakes*

!!!

[Dunbar]

No..

 

NOOOOOOOO!

 

*eats another four gajillion*

 

this cannot stand!

[Twitchy]

*Invokes lifeguarding ability*

*Eats 6 gajillion*

I WILL GO ON THE GUARD STAND!

 

That's a witty way of me saying, I must leave to go to work.

:(

 

[Dunbar]

But... aw :(

 

well, enjoy it.

 

DON'T EAT TOO MANY CHILDREN!

 

*stuffs self with pancakes*

[Canukistani]

*stuffs pancakes into children then drops them off at Twitch's pool*

[Guest dragonsworn1991]

*fills twitch's pool with pancakes and drops twitch off at the childrens*

[Gerrendus]

*makes all of the children out of pancakes*

[Canukistani]

*pours syrup over all the children then sends in the wasps*

[cosmicpanda]

Alright, this is now an official duel, deathmatch style. Demi and Edie have two posts each. Edie may go first, since Demi has posted in the thread later than him.

 

I name Far the judge.

 

Bets are being taken in Thak.

 

*looks stern*

[Dunbar]

OOC: My first post doesn't count, right?!?

[cosmicpanda]

You both currently stand at zero posts.

[Twitchy]

Epique?

[Dunbar]

EDIE!?

 

 

GET HERE YOU!

 

GET HEEEEERRRRE!

[damane]

*watches amazed*

[Edielin]

The pancake house was filled with the sound of silence, which is both impossible and somewhat tedious. But this was due to but one factor. And this time, it wasn't the maple syrup. Demi, of the inestimable (literally; SS's mathematical abilities are limited to the purchase of... whatever accessories Demi actually wears) Shadowspawn, gyrated in a somewhat disturbing fashion. He was, of course, nude.

 

And then there was Edielin. Having just been staring at Far and Pand's portfolios, he was, quite literally, gobsmacked. But suavely, of course - Edielin was of the Black Ajah, infamous for their extraordinary standards of hygiene and their martial prowess in strategic withdrawal. Bowing to the crowd, he called out his dedication: "When this contest is over, I shall proclaim this victory in honor of the true SG duology, Far and Pandy. Because Pandy never confused my gender, and Far has stopped. And she likes my evisceration!"

 

And then he turned to face Demi. The stakes, of course, were clear: "Citizenship of Norway, eternal glory, and the OWNERSHIP OF THE PANCAKE HOUSE!", and upon this heroic proclamation, he charged! In the opposite direction. Grabbing hold of the chandelier, he swung at the Norwegian nudist with a fond smile, knocking him backwards into a small waste chute set into the opposite wall. "Demi! Watch out! The nuclear waste compact... Whoops", then abruptly dropping, sauntered over as Demi plummeted. "DEMI! I AM YOUR FATHER!"

[cosmicpanda]

*admires*

 

*bets 100 on Edie*

[Dunbar]

*"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's not true! You killed my father! You bastard! An also, I WON'T BE BEATEN BY A GIRL!"

 

Demi quickly regained his balance, grabbing onto a handy bottle of syrup. "You think you can beat me, huh, punk? Well, you've got to ask yourself one question. Do I feel lucky? Well, do yah!?" Lunging at his opponent, Demi opened fire and covered Edie with acid syrup, the deadliest kind there is. Watching the skin and muscle slowly melt off his opponent's body brought a childlike delight to Demi's heart. "Now who's confused!" Demi proclaimed, before he grabbed whatever was left of Edie's body and hauled it onto the pancake frying machine. There, he went to great lengths to prepare Edie into the finest pancake ever conceived by man, and promptly ate him with a side of strawberry flavoured ice-cream.

 

But the battle wasn't over. Although Demi seemed content and serene on the outside, his insides fought a desperate struggle against the Edie-cake. His spleen and liver gave it their best, but it came down to the old digestive system to make the last stand. "You shall most certainly pass through me!" it would've shouted, if only it had a mouth. The Edie-cake grinned, somehow, and started making it's way through Demi. "Arrcgh!" Demi screamed, as the Edie-cake emerged, syrupy and vengeful from a gaping crater in his chest. Fearing that all was lost, Demi quickly analyzed the situation and found the best alternative to be death by cookpot. He fired the old beauty up and cooked the Edie-cake thing on the highest temperature known to man before making short work of the ensuing soup. Afterwards, he burped gently and awaited his opponents next (bowel) move.*

[cosmicpanda]

Excellent.

 

Edie now has one post to reply, and then Demi will make his post. This will conclude the pancake deathmatch.

[Edielin]

A girl? Now Edielin was furious. Abandoning the calm that had previously characterised his wild bounding from the chandelier, he squeezed enzymes from his new form and began to digest Demi's mucal lining, and then his guts, with marked enthusiasm! Rapidly glooping into Demi's bloodstream, he paused for a slight detour at the pancreas, which he whimsically - using cathered metal compounds - converted into a catalytic converter. Then he continued, eventually emerging through Demi's guts and smiling a malicious benediction upon the crowd, to great applause. straining, the Edie-cake managed to regain its former human posture, albeit with a little slime. And then he remembered. The Sayings of Chairman Mao! Edielin's favourite book could once again be a key to this enigma. Quickly organising a workforce to Demi's regular moans, he instated a Five Year Economic Plan - and rapidly built a cage around the unfortunate Demi! Then he laughed, casually nibbled on a strawberry pancake, and proceeded to find his clothes.

[damane]

Now both of them are naked?

 

*Hides my eyes*

[Dunbar]

ooc: *lol'd*

[Dunbar]

*admires*

 

*bets 100 on Edie*

 

Also, Dudes, the judge is betting on my opponent?

 

Oy vey

[Dunbar]

Demi was down, but he was not out. Groaning with the strain, he rose, in more ways than one. "You.. You think you can contain me within this... this cage of earthly matter? Poor man-thing, you do not yet realize you have consumed your last pancake!" Screaming, Demi fell into the fetal position. One might think he was screaming in pain; this is only partly correct. Suddenly, his skin reddened, and not from sunburn, his nails grew into fearsome claws, his bodily mass increased, in violation of the laws of conservation of energy, and leathery wings sprouted from his back. "Now, I am in my true form! Taste the power of capitalism!" Demi acted quickly, and used the free market to lower the value of the cage, unto the point where it collapsed economically, and Demi stepped out, the master of free trade. "I will make an investment... An investment in your doom!" Demi said, as he charged the still nude Edie. "Ah," he quipped. "Turns you are a man after all. At least a little." He then proceeded to smash his fist into his face with a power only the means of production being traded willingly can produce. "Your mother is like Marx's thoughts on socio-economics!" Demi shouted. "Every worker gets his share!" Demi laughed, as he threw the broken remains of Edie into a conveniently placed garbage compressor. Demi nonchalantly pressed the "on" button, and coolly exploded the compressor just at it had reached it's ultimate compression. As his opponents compressed and severly exploded remains rained down around him, Demi was pleased. He ordered a pancake and sat down, a hard day's work behind him.

[cosmicpanda]

*admires*

 

*bets 100 on Edie*

 

Also, Dudes, the judge is betting on my opponent?

 

Oy vey

 

Far is the judge and will announce the result shortly.