The Hornsounder - Volume 2, Edition 5

[Corki]

Editor's Note

By Corki, The Marshal-General

 

So, I am back as an interim editor for the Band's monthly edition of our newsletter, The Hornsounder. After this edition, I have a new editor lined up, with a couple of people willing to help. This is great news, as getting articles for the newsletter has been a battle in the past. So, the future looks rosy for the much loved newsletter.

 

As usual, we have our monthly Jak O' the Shadows competition. As always, the standard is high, and everyone is a winner! We also have the words to The Stumbling Soldier - The Musical, a Banding with a twist, a look at the curses within the Band, and an announcement of the winning Regiment of the second Quarter of the Inter-Regimental Competition.

 

So, grab a Brew, find a hammock and get a copy of this edition of The Hornsounder and waste away the minutes as you enjoy every word written by Banders!

[Corki]

The Red Hand Curses

By Death Dealer, a Rare Recruit

 

With the July elections for senior positions upon us, I thought I would do this little piece for the Hornsounder!

 

As I am very new here, I’ve been hearing names of old, and began to inquire about certain things. One thing that got my attention is the mention of a couple of curses that seem to have plagued the Band. I find curses captivating, so, I decided to look further into these curses, and find out just how true or false they were. In talking with certain folks, I’ve narrowed the curses down to two: The Curse of the Infantry C-G’s and The Curse of the Cav Redarms. Let us begin with the Infantry C-G curse!

 

I compiled a list of many of the C-G’s from the Infantry. They would be: Cam, Mallet, Footman, Spacey, and Jur Grady as an acting C-G. I’m sure there are more names that aren’t on that list, but I wasn’t able to get any more information on other names in my research. If there are more names, I’m fairly certain those members aren’t active, and that proves my point even further.

 

So, the curse is as such: If you are voted in as the C-G for the Infantry, your days in the Band are numbered. I say voted, because from what I could learn, Jur is still here, but has been a B-C and had to step up to C-G when active C-G’s have disappeared. Even still, Jur did actually disappear during his time as acting Infantry C-G. Luckily for the Band, he is back, but for how long… Cam is the only survivor of this curse… so far. So, throw out the first on the list and what do we have left?

 

First we have Mallet, A.K.A. Idennis, A.K.A. General Grawl. This guy is still discussed about his roll as a redarm, but one day, while he is the Infantry C-G, he ups and disappears!

 

Then there is Footman, who was not only the Infantry C-G but also the XO for the Band. From what I have found out, he lasted the longest of the three curse-be-gotten souls, having actually left the office and took on another office before pulling his own disappearing act.

 

Next we have the current but missing C-G for the Infantry, Spacey. Apparently he is gone, but to where? Will he be back? Or will he, too, succumb to the horrid curse?

 

Finally there is Jur. He seems to be doing alright now, but when he held the cursed position, he disappeared for quite some time.

 

What happens to these people, and why should it affect this one position? To find out, I’ve interviewed the only active members of the Band that have held this position. Let’s see what Jur and Cam have to say about this so called curse!

 

Grim: Weren't you an Infantry C-G?

 

Cam: yes

 

Grim: What do you think about this curse, as it has affected so many, but not you?

 

Cam: I think that people may go overboard on the BotRH...they take their role seriously and then need to take time off afterwards with RL

 

Grim: What do you suppose the cause of this supposed curse is?

 

Cam: People work too hard for fantasy and cant keep up with RL

 

Grim: Would you ever run again for the Infantry C-G?

 

Cam: Definitely, though not for the summer...I’ve got a 8-4 job coming up and then I’m gone for the month of august...

 

There you have it, folks, brave words from an unscathed Infantry C-G.

 

Next I talked with Jur, and here is what he had to say

 

Grim: Weren't you an Infantry C-G?

 

Jur: I took over the position for Mallet who had fallen victim to the curse. And then I was afflicted with the curse and had almost my entire family die in the intervening time.

 

Grim: What do you think about this curse, as it has affected so many, but not you?

 

Jur: The curse is real. It is not something imaginary or fake. It is truly real as I have fell victim to it myself.

 

Grim: what do you suppose the cause of this supposed curse is?

 

Jur: There is no 'supposed' about this thing it is real. I'm not sure what the cause of it is but all I know is that I intend to get to the bottom of it.

 

Grim: Would you ever run again for the Infantry C-G?

 

Jur: Yes I am running for the CG position this term and will continue to do so.

 

There you have it, fellow Banders, straight from the mouths of two fifths of the last few Infantry C-G’s. Jur’s words are determined and forceful, but will it be able to save him? Running again, both say. I say, perhaps we should get their goodbye parties started now, so they don’t miss them, when they fall victim to one of the Red Hand Curses!

 

The second Curse is that of the Cavalry Redarms! I talked with the Cavalry commander, Sir Horn to get the low down on the lowly curse! Here is what he had to say.

 

Grim: There are rumors of different curses going around, and somebody mentioned the Cav Redarm curse, where former Cav redarms disappear off the face of DM. I'm doing a Hornsounder article on Red Handed Curses, and I was wondering if I could get of few comments?

 

Grim: Do you believe there is a Cav Redarm curse?

 

Horn: Heck yes! In addition to the Curse of the Infantry Leadership, the Curse of the Cavalry Redarms is quite real!

 

Grim: Can you give me some names about individuals allegedly involved in said curse?

 

Horn: Oh my.. Sheli (no longer in the Band), Praeda (lost all internet access unless visiting her sister Vorkia), TheWitchKing (LOA til september), Razz (doing three jobs all at once at her work), Gareth (dissappeared off the face of the earth).... There may be more but I'm not sure who! In fact, I am the only former Redarm that I know of who is not gone!

 

Grim: Are there any survivors (Former Cav redarms not MIA)?

 

Horn: That would just be me!

 

Grim: Where you ever a Redarm?

 

Horn: I was a redarm when TheWitchKing was the Redarm Leader. I actually was the acting Redarm on several occasions. Once while I was the Acting Acting Acting CG of the Cav! The CG, BOTH BC's, and the Redarm Leader were all LOA at the same time!

 

Grim: Do you think this alleged curse is spreading, explaining the drop in Cav membership?

 

Horn: I think that may be a possiblity, but more likely I thing WoW and School

are the two biggest factors. *curses World of Warcraft*

 

Grim: Are you frightened of any other curses or of anything other than curses?

 

Horn: Losing members due to WoW or due to other members leaving.

 

Grim: Do you use dry toilet paper or those flushable wet wipes?

 

Horn: Dry! hmm I should try the other stuff.. does it work well?

 

Grim: It’s the best thing to happen to bathrooms since indoor plumbing! Do you think the DO has a hand in this and other Red Handed Curses?

 

Horn: No.... the curse started long before the DO emerged in the Band boards...

 

Grim: Have you ever met this DO?

 

Horn: Yes...

 

Grim: Any additional comments?

 

Horn: GO OREGON STATE! NATIONAL CHAMPIONS OF NCAA BASEBALL!!!

 

 

So, the Cavalry looses Sheli, the nurse and editor of The Hornsounder, a most active member of the Band. The Cav looses Praeda due to a loss of internet. TheWitchKing is on LOA, or is he? Razz is gone, but may have turned up again, or is that just one more person masquerading around with her name? And what did happen to Gareth? A fairly new member crushed under the cursed weight of this… er… curse.

 

Why is it Horn survives, or is it only a matter of time before he is pulled down into the abysmal abyss that is the Cavalry Redarm Curse? Horn says it is due to WoW or RL, but is that truly the cause? Perhaps the Band will never know the answers to these questions.

 

In conclusion, this seems like one heck of a good reason to join the only Regiment that remains curse free, the Archers!!

[Corki]

The Stumbling Soldier - The Musical

by Froix, Scout of the Cavalry

 

A stumbling soldier walks in to see the tavern's gotten pretty quiet. He walks over to an old Piano in a corner and starts wiping dust off of it. He then sits and proceeds to play

 

sung to the tune of Piano Man by Billy Joel

 

The Stumbling Soldier on a normal day

The regular crowd shuffles in

There is Corki sitting next to me

Making love to his brew with a grin

 

He says "Friend, do you want to join the Cavalry,

or The Archers w/ their arrows and bows,

And The Infantry's sweet but they never come greet

the new recruits, Where are they? who knows."

 

Bridge: la lala didi daa lala didi daa daa dum

 

Lord Horn steps in the tavern

 

Sing us a song, Sir Cav'lry man

Sing us a song tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a melody

and you've got us feelin' alright

 

Lord Horn clears his throat then sings the next verse

 

Now Goldy at the bar is a friend of mine,

he gets me my Bandy for free,

and he's quick with a joke,

he's a real standup bloke,

This here's the place you'd rather be

 

Horn nods at Goldy

 

Cheeks says "Cads, I believe this brew's killing me,"

as the smile ran away from her face,

Cads says, "Sure, I could get you some from the bar,"

she then dumps it over his face

 

Kati laughs out loud. Oz gives Goldy a look

 

Bridge

 

Now Ash here is somewhat of a duelist,

He never shys away from a strife,

And he's talking with Northie who's still with Sir Corki

and probably will be for life

 

In a corner, Jea looks up from reading her book

 

And as Jeannaisais sees Lord Horn's dirty tricks,

As invisible men often gets thrown,

Yes they're sharing a drink here with Jeannaisais,

Well it's better than drinking with Horn

 

The Stumbling Soldier proceeds to work the piano expertly as Lord Horn approaches with beady eyes

 

Sing us a song, Sir Cav'lry Man

Sing us a song tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a melody

and you've got us feelin' alright

 

A grizzled veteran steps in as Lord Horn then smiles and sings the next verse

 

It's a pretty good crowd, Adrian's here today,

As MsDanya then gives him a smile,

'Cause she knows that he's busy and he comes here you see,

To forget about life for awhile

 

Adrian returns the smile

 

And the tavern turns out like a carnival,

Cause' fights and brawls often starts here,

And they sit at the bar, all these people from afar,

They say "Man, what a place you've got here?"

 

Bridge

 

Everyone starts to sing

 

Come one, Come all, Come and join the Band

Get ready for a song and a fight

With Flaming Shots, Infantry Brews and Bandy

All these gets us feelin' alright

[Corki]

Banding of Lanette Cordragoran & Owan Bloodeye

by Lanette, Markswoman of the Archers

 

 

Lanette’s an Archer who kills with her grin

She’s the masseuse at the Three Hammocks Inn.

With her bow, Firefly, she excels in

the dance with Jak o’the Shadows

 

While visiting a stedding she met a man,

And with that the loss of her mind began!

She sneaked up on him to have some fun

like sneaky ol' Jak o’the Shadows

 

She tossed him into a vat of chillie,

dunked him in TQ and licked him silly,

and said: “oh, this one sure tastes yummy!

’tis better ’n dancing with Jak o’the Shadows!â€

 

He said: “Turnabout is fair play,

Don’t you think, Archer? What d’you say?

So we’ll play it your own way

and to heck with Jak o’the Shadows.â€

 

Thus he started lickin’ her from end to end,

(though ticklish spots she tried to defend!)

’n to fits of giggles he did her send

makin’ her forget ol’ Jak o’the Shadows

 

The lickin’n’tickling war went on for days

each refusing to give an inch away,

till exhausted, in the vat they lay

like waiting for Jak o’the Shadows

 

“My name’s Lanette, by the way,†said she.

He said: “Owan Bloodeye do I be,

And I am an Archer, too, you see

in the dance with Jak o’the Shadowsâ€

 

Little did he know that the licks she gave

were laced with a drug made to enslave.

Dazed he said: “Mistress, I’m your slave,

in your dance with Jak o’the Shadowsâ€

 

“I need my slave to be ‘masterful’,â€

said Lanette, “And make me feel beautiful.

Of course, he should also be helpful

in my dance with Jak o’the Shadowsâ€

 

“In return, your back I will always guard,

will stick with you in times both smooth and hard,

and give you backrubs when your muscles cord,

and shield you from Jak o’the Shadowsâ€

 

To Lanette’s suggestion, Owan said: “Ayeâ€,

Thus, to get Banded they did decide,

’n they pledged to stand always side by side

in the dance with Jak o’the Shadows

 

The Banding Party was full of cheer

with many a comrades who are so dear -

the Brew-swigging heros who know no fear

when dancing with Jak o'the Shadows

 

Ash brought ice cream for his employee

and M-G and Irish Brew flowed free

Owan 'n Lanette were thrilled to be

together to dance with Jak o'the Shadows

 

From here on they’ll march to battle as one,

And stand together in the rain or sun,

Laughing and cuddling, they will have fun,

Dancing with Jak o’the Shadows.

[Corki]

Jak o’ the Shadows Contest

by A Band Member

 

This month's topic was on the Band's most sacred drink, Battle Brew. There were 5 great sets of verses, but there was one clear winner with 7 votes. Below are the winning verses, as written by Lanette, who also won last month's competition.

 

 

The gods had a secret drink up there,

That with mere mortals they never share!

Till a Bander found how they hide it and where,

While dancing with Jak o' the Shadows.

 

He figured that the Band needed an official drink,

So he brought it to the camp before you could think,

They named it Battle Brew and it's what we drink,

Before dancing with Jak o' the Shadows.

[Corki]

Regimental Competition - Second Quarter Review

By Corki, The Marshal-General

 

April saw the continuation of the Divisional Competition, now named the Regimental Competition after the Band's decision to change names for each section. The aim of the competition is to see which is the best! Also, the winner will ultimately win The Matrim, the Band's very own Oscar-like award ceremony, for the best Regiment when they are announced at the end of the year.

 

April saw the brains of each Regiment get tested in a series of logic puzzles, ranging from easy to some difficult ones. There was a clear winner in the Infantry, who picked up 4 points. The Archers came second and got 2 points, while the Cavalry lagged behind in last place, and as a result, got one point.

 

May's competition was postponed due to quietness within each Regiment due to exams, and also I couldn't think of anything interesting! lol! As a result, each Regiment was awarded 2 points.

 

June's competition was individual based, but going towards the Regiment. Members of each Regiment were asked to "Smack the Penguin" (the bloody version) as far as possible. Twinflower won the competition for the Cavalry, earning them 4 points. The Infantry came in second place, while the Archers came third. A bonus point was awarded to all 3 Regiments as they got the same distance in the bonus competition.

 

As a result, this left the Infantry as winners of the second quarter of the Regimental Competition. They have been granted the chance to stage a Triumph to celebrate their victory. Below is the final standings of the first quarter.

 

1. Infantry - 9

2. Cavalry - 7

3. Archers - 6

 

In order to win The Matrim award outright, the Regiment needs to get the most points from all the competitions. Below are the current standings after 2 Quarters, and as you can see, there is still much to play for!

 

1. Cavalry - 15

2. Infantry - 14

3. Archers - 13

 

All the best to the Regiments for the 3rd Quarter!!!

[Corki]

A Final Word...

By Corki, The Marshal-General

 

I have enjoyed publishing this edition of The Hornsounder as interim editor very much so, but I am now pleased to announce the next editor of the newsletter.

 

*drum roll*

 

Please welcome Lanette, your new editor. Lanette has shown great enthusiasm in this part of the Band, taking part in the Jak O' the Shadows contest, and a frequent writer. I believe this will rub off within the Band, making the newsletter even better than it is now! I feel it will be in very safe arms! May you have a great time as editor, and may The Hornsounder grow and prosper under your leadership.

 

Also, depending on Canis' activity, I have 2 very able and keen Banders waiting to be your assistants and help you out! They know who they are!!!! ;)

[Lanette]

Thank you Corki. I'll do my best to live up to the confidence youi have put in me in giving me this job.

 

Also, I look forward to the PM you promised the other day!

[goldeneys]

Froix, I LOVE your song, awsomeness

 

quick with a joke,

he's a real standup bloke,

 

hehehe, yup, thats me

[Guest Froix]

Thanks Goldy! I'm glad you liked it.

 

Congrats Lanette! You'll do a great job, I'm sure.