The BA Presents: The Shayol Ghul Evil Cooking Competition!!!

[cosmicpanda]

Competition for the best evil food. Submit your recipes here. Winner gets 28 points, runnerup gets 12.

 

You may approach the evil food from different angles. It may be designed to do evil things to the consumer, or it may be produced from evil ingredients, whatever they may be.

 

I'm looking for good creativity, good recipe format instructions, and humor. Here's one I made earlier:

 

 

Fried Barmyflakes

 

Ingredients:

 

1 barmy

1 cauldron of oil

100 threads of saffron

10 cups of chopped corriander

 

Instructions:

 

1) Flake a Barmy.

 

2) Boil the cauldron of oil and tip the Barmy flakes in and cook until they appear to be crunchy.

 

3) Mix the saffron and coriander in a bowl. Pat the Barmy flakes dry with towels and toss in the bowl until coated with spice.

 

4) Serve piping hot.  :D

 

 

 

Now, you have a go. Use a similar format if you want.

[Dunbar]

Man's Thighs à la Demi

 

Start by acquiring a man. Separate man's thighs from body, using sharp device. Saw preferred. Maybe knife. Matters not. Spill not his blood, but gather it in bucket, so called "blood-bucket". Grab thighs, tender them by the beating and/or jumping on. Makes for good times with friends. Drench in aforementioned blood for that little extra something. Roast man's thighs over open flame, preferably burned by man's carcass. Also, diesel burns nicely. Stick in cookpot afterwards, let boil for forty-five minutes whilst cutting up onion. Eat with a sides salad and some bread.

 

 

 

[Far Dareis Mai]

Evil SG Brownies.

 

 

(I made them a couple weeks ago, forgot to post the picture :P)

[HotW Moiraine]

 

Where is your god now?

[Edielin]

I'd cook Demi, but he just gyrates too much.

[cosmicpanda]

I'll stop taking entries this weekend. Bear in mind that my weekend probably finishes earlier than yours  ;)

[Dunbar]

 

Where is your god now?

 

Don't... burn it?

 

: p

[Guest dragonsworn1991]

Evil recipes are hard to make...

[cosmicpanda]

and hard to remember to judge  :(

[Guest dragonsworn1991]

So you are in the same boat as we are...welcome

[Alaksuleiel]

Eli's s/Spawn Cookies

 

3 shadow spawn

1 kg plain flour

3kg sugar

4litres of water.

 

pour all ingredients into mixer.

blend by pulsing.

roll into little balls and spread out on baking sheet.

cook in medium oven for 20 minutes minimum depending on whether you want soft or chewy cookies.

 

[cosmicpanda]

hmm, nice

 

right now, it's between Demi, far, and Eli

[Dunbar]

Woo, My name!

[cosmicpanda]

I love keeping you all waiting in suspense  :D

[Edielin]

Brownies, Quite Literally

 

First, catch yourself some Brownie leaders. Recommended: blue van. White vans unfashionable. And suspicious. Trust me, no-one suspects a blue van. Avoid piratical mannerisms during kidnap. Clone Brownie.

 

Here's one I made earlier!

 

  0

  ]--[

  /\

 

Dice non-functional clone with cleaver. Oh. Release your Brownie first! Confusion is dangerous at this stage. I became completely homicidal. Dip chunks in molten chocolate a la Belgique! Mix firmly. Decant into tray. Cook for 40 mins. Scare guests.

[Guest dragonsworn1991]

Nice one edie that sounds truly evil

 

Lemon heads

 

First you get a bunch of people and let them sit in the BA dungeons, first stewing in their fear and then screaming in torture.

 

Next you take them out and let them think they are free. *Nothing sweetens this up like a false sense of hope.*

 

Then you take them to the headsman.

 

Finally dip in a lemony and sugary mix let harden and then serve.

[cosmicpanda]

ahah! Lemon heads, I see what you did there

[Barmacral]

How to make a blood apple:

 

Please note that this recipe is a very long one and requires much dedication in order to get results.

 

Step 1:

 

Kill a member of the Dreadlords or Shadowspawn.

 

Step 2:

 

Turn their corpse to pulp. Keep all parts of the corpse, including any hair or hooves. Be sure to drain the blood and save it first though, you'll need that later.

 

Step 3:

 

Mix the pulp into your composter, along with any mouldy bread or produce that has gone bad. I like to include egg shells as well, but they are not required.

 

Step 4:

 

After several years of allowing the compost with the corpse to decompose, mix it into the soil at the desired location for a new apple tree.

 

Step 5:

 

Plant an apple seed on that spot. Allow it to grow into a large tree, be sure to use fertilisers, water, and a add a little bit of your victim's blood once a week until you run out of blood.

 

Step 6:

 

After several years of doing this, with potentially adding more compost and more victims (and watering with more blood) your tree should start producing apples. Pick one off of the tree when it is ripe, and bite into it.

 

And there you have it, how to make a blood apple.

[Guest dragonsworn1991]

Nice one Barm!!!  ;)

[cosmicpanda]

ok, Barmy wins unless someone comes up with something better :D

[Guest dragonsworn1991]

Congrats Barmie