Out into the World(Wilderness Survival)

[Sieve]

Jasine had been scouting ahead so reached the camp ahead of the other.  The shock on his face at the sight of the camp must have matched Arath's.  The camp had four blazing fires and tents complete with extra blankets.  He could smell the food which made his stomach rumble, he felt as if he could eat enough for three people.

 

Before making his way into the camp he turned Nightdancer to face North.  He sat there staring a moment, he had been only a day's hard ride from the Blight.  He had felt the urge, felt the Blight pulling him into it's deadly embrace.  Felt it laughing at him trying to bait him into the trap in an effort to prove himself.  He had seen it often enough, young Borderanders rushing off into the Blight thinking they could single-handedly assault Shayol Ghul.  "The Final Embrace"

 

Perivar turned Nightdancer around so that he faced the camp.  He dismounted then stood there scratching Nightdancers head.  He was so lost in thought that he did not realize that he was not alone until Mistress Thera's arms wrapped around him in a friendly embrace.  “It is so good to see all your faces again!”    She sounded elated, then she turned her attention to Melenis.  Perivar missed the exchange between the two as he walked towards the food.

 

[Eqwina]

Finishing her dinner and leaving the boys by the fire with promises to return she ducked quietly into Melenis’ tent. What she saw made Thera drop to her knees and immediately put her lips to the girls’ forehead. 

 

“Light blast you girl! You didn’t take that packet I gave you!” Frustrated and more than a little worried she pulled another from her pouch. With Melenis weak with sickness it was easy for Thera to hold open her mouth and pour in the contents. Clamping the child’s mouth shut with one hand, she gently massaged her throat with another. Thera was leaving the girl no choice but to swallow the medicine she’d been given. “What in the light possessed you to ignore the signs your body was giving you? Why I’ll wager you have been sick days and failed to mention it.” Thumbing back her eyelids Thera sighed at what she saw. “You are not going to die before we reach the Tower, but you will suffer for your silence. Perhaps it will teach you a lesson. While we are fighters and warriors, we are still human and there is no shame in taking sick.”

 

Sitting back on her knees she fixed Melenis with a hard stare. “Now is this what you wanted to talk to me about. Or is there something else?”

 

[Jehaine]

Melenis frowned when Thera mentioned the medicine, then patted her pockets again until she found where she had put the packet again. When had she gotten that again? Hard to think...

 

Of course, further attempts at thought were cut off by Thera pouring the contents of the packet down her throat. She did try to resist a little, -- though she doubted it would have helped even if she had been at full strength -- but that was primarily against the woman touching her throat. It was painful enough as it was, she could hardly eat without wincing for the past day or so. The medicine burned in her throat, and she was thrown into another fit of coughing.

 

“Now is this what you wanted to talk to me about. Or is there something else?”

 

Nodding slowly, Melenis looked back at Thera's stare. She was angry, and rightfully so, but the treatment just now had brought her back to the point where she could at least manage to think without needing to lie down for a while. She kept her eyes fixed to the ground as she talked though, hugging her own knees tighter.

 

- "I have... I thought it was a cold at first, but it just kept getting worse. By the time i wanted to mention it, you were gone. Rather than slow us down, i forced myself so we could get back faster. I... didn't want to feel like a third wheel again."

 

She was interrupted by another fit of coughing, trembling now as the emotions she had wanted to keep hidden started to seep out. Hidden from Thera, hidden from her fellow Trainees... and most of all, hidden from herself. It was a part of her that scared her... because it made her feel so useless. Perhaps it was the fever, or the fact that she hadn't managed to get a good night's sleep in days, but with her eyes still fixed to the ground, she started talking to no one in particular. She was a little girl again, somewhere in a house in Far Madding.

 

- "I've... always been like this. The first to get sick, the last to get better. Quick to get injured. And i tried. I tried so hard to look for ways to improve my health... Meditation, weapons training, i can outfight most of the people i know now, and yet here i am, the only one that's sick again. All of that just improved my stamina, everything i tried failed in making me more resilent to sickness."

 

She looked up again, tears streaming down her face. This part of her terrified herself, but she had to know. Know whether she'd have a use. Know whether anything she did would even make a difference if it wasn't. She wanted to know the answer to all those things... but feared the answer almost as much as facing the Dark One herself.

 

- "The fact is... I'm afraid. I mean, what kind of a Warder would i be if i couldn't even get my own health under control? How can i protect someone from a bed at the Infirmary? And if i'm not... what kind of use would i have? I've been asking myself those questions since i was a child, and it terrifies me that i don't know the answers."

 

Her voice was speeding up now, more frantic, matching the desperate look in her eyes as she looked for a place to focus on, but wherever it was, it didn't seem to be in the tent. Not Thera either, she had a feeling she lost the right to look the Mistress of Trainees in the eye. Not knowing where to look, she just rested her face on her knees as she tried to make herself smaller.

 

- "When i found i was sick, i told myself this would be it, this would be the day where i put my foot down, and stand up against that ghost from the past. I felt so certain that this time, things would end up different. And yet, here i am again. Failed. Defeated by my own body. I don't want to give up, I want to keep on fighting, but right now, i can't help but feel so useless, so meaningless that it's scaring me... And i'm running out of options."

 

Her words were interrupted by another fit of coughing. For a moment she looked as if she wanted to keep talking, but ended up just staring in silence at the palm of the hand she had used to cover her mouth with. Crying, she hugged herself close, leaving a dark smear of blood on her trousers. It was clear that she was close to the breaking point, her sense of responsability to her grandfather and herself being one of the few things left standing in her emotional onslaught.

 

 

Melenis

Hates herself right now.

[Eqwina]

Thera brushed away the tears that came to her eyes as she listened to Melenis speak. Five years as Mistress of Trainees, of reading children and knowing the instant something was wrong and she had missed this! Frustrated with herself almost as much as she was with Melenis she sighed and sat down next to the pallet on the floor. She raised her hand and began to rub small circles on the girls back while she struggled to find the right words. For now she ignored the blood that the coughs left of her pants, there was nothing for it now.

 

Tenderly she brushed the hair from Melenis’ face and handed her a handkerchief. When she spoke her words were quiet and meant to sooth the child’s fears. “I cannot lie to you and say that you will be the best Warder there ever was. And I cannot tell you that you’ll never be sick again, but I can tell you that there is no other place in the world that you belong. You have a fire in you that few people can match, and a strength that most men can only hope for.” It was a simple truth that life for women in the yards was always harder than it was for the men. If only because it took years more for a woman to learn to guard against her own emotions. “When we get back to the Tower a sister will be able to heal your hurts and once you are bonded..” No need to mention that it may not happen. “ the strength you will get from your Aes Sedai may cure all your hurts. And even if it does not you will still be an amazing Warder, because I have never known you to give up and I can’t see you starting then.”  Tipping Melenis’ chin up so that she could look into her eyes Thera smiled weakly “And not now either. You are sick girl, maybe sicker than you have ever been, but you will fight through this with everything you have. Because you have a bright future ahead of you and I will not see you lose it over something like this. Do you understand me?”

 

[Jehaine]

Melenis looked up, trying to regain her composure but only managing to stop the tears running down her face. Emotionally, she was a wreck at this point, but Thera's soothing words brought the intended comfort. It calmed her down a great deal just by knowing she could still make it to being a Warder, by knowing she would not be forced to give up on her dream, her life's goal of actively fighting the Shadow. To make her grandfather proud of her.

 

- "Thanks Thera... I really needed to hear that. It means a lot to me and... Thanks."

 

Still caught in the aftermath of an emotional storm, she leaned over to Thera, giving her a hug. Though she normally was one of the last people to display her emotions so openly, she had really felt as if she was at the end of her rope, and as a result her guard was completely down. She coughed some more, swallowing down what had come up again -- ignoring the metallic taste -- and took a deep breath, wincing from the stab of pain it send through her ribs.

 

Part of her didn't want to let go. Having lacked a mother, the warmth and affection the older woman was giving her made her feel just exactly what she had missed during her childhood. Yet, she knew, there were other things that needed to be done. Other Trainees to take care of. It wouldn't have been fair to claim all of Thera's attention from them, and besides, she didn't want to be more of a burden than she already was... For now, at least.

 

- "Heh, i think i'll be turning in early tonight. Besides, hugging you like this might make your boyfriend jealous." ;)

 

Reluctantly, she let go of Thera again, crawling over to her pallet to rearrange her blanket roll again. Though her comment was made in jest given the whispered rumors going around about the Mistress of Trainees behaving somewhat strange of late, she couldn't even have guessed how accurate her comment had been. Unaware of Thera's reaction, she fell fast asleep in no time at all. Her condition during the past couple of days along with her emotions having erupted that night had really taken its toll on her, and frankly, the pallet felt as comfortable as a feather mattress compared to what she had been sleeping on. Though her breath sounded a bit raspy due to her sore throat, it wasn't anything to be worried about in itself.

 

 

Melenis

Sound asleep

[Eqwina]

Wrapping her arms around Melenis she pulled the girls face to her chest and rubbed her hair. It was so hard to watch anyone struggle with their past as they tried to face their future, made even harder by the fact she saw so much of herself in her.

 

"Heh, i think i'll be turning in early tonight. Besides, hugging you like this might make your boyfriend jealous."

 

Thera’s strong arms fell away and she stared at Melenis in shock, she couldn’t know about Jasine!? Could she? As the girl curled back up into bed Thera stared down at her sleeping form wondering how careless she been. It wasn’t until she heard the quite rasping breaths of sleep that she slipped back out into the night.

 

[Quisalas Selene]

Jasine held onto the moment of that kiss for the rest of the evening.  It was with him as he tended to the horses before he tended to himself, taking Melenis's mount wordlessly as the girl stumbled off to her tent.  The horses had been his responsibility almost my default, and it was the one chore of this trip that he truly delighted in. 

 

He floated around almost as if in a daze, and if he had thought about it at all, he'd have hoped the others attributed it only to being happy to be fed, warm, safe, and done with the tasks of survival.  He'd never been so happy to have been scouting ahead and as he ate to his fill and then retired to his tend he mused that there did not seem to be a tent set up for Thera herself.  For a long while, as he removed his boots and belt and shirt and slid into bed he toyed with the idea that maybe she had intended to share his.  Of course, Thera could have another tent set back further from the warmth of the fire, she did not seem nearly as bothered by the cold as they were, but it was fun to dream. 

 

His thoughts shifted from Thera in his bed to the Warder bond.  He knew it gave them benefits, and he now wondered if a resistance to temperatures was one of them.  He knew that Aes Sedai did not sweat, so it could very well be possible.  Thinking of Aes Sedai lead him to thinking about his sister, and he wondered if she had learned the trick of not sweating yet.  He'd have to ask her in the next letter he wrote to her and left tucked into Rao's bridle.  Not for the first time, he wondered who it was his sister had running notes out to the stables and bringing his back, he'd never seen a note stay there longer than overnight and he was an early riser.  He hoped his sister hadn't gotten herself in some kind of improper relationship with a servant or a Tower Guard who would be willing to play messenger for her.    Selene was friendly and warm, but too trusting by half and he wasn't sure she had the sense to know when not to get involved.

 

It wasn't until he had started to drift off to sleep that he realized that he was in just such an inappropriate relationship. But that's different, I know I can trust Thera.  Maybe whoever was running messages for his sister could be trusted too.  After all, the notes kept showing up and no one had yelled at him yet for it.  Jase fell asleep warm, full, thinking of his love, and filled with the satisfaction of a task completed well.

[Sieve]

Perivar ate greedily as he sat by one of the fires that Mistress Thera had started.  It was like a feast and he ate his share and more.  How long had he been there eating?  Where were the others?  Perivar looked around though the only one he spotted was Jasine who was entering one of the tents.  Light the horses he thought as he noticed they were already cared for.  In his haste to devour the food he had forgotten about them.  Even though Jasine had taken care of the mounts over the past couple of days there was no reason for Perivar to not lend a hand.  Perivar smiled at the tent Jasine had entered.  The man had not even asked for help, no he wouldn't would he?  He would just say that he enjoyed caring for the horses.

 

Where had Arath gotten of to he wondered not seeing his companion.  Perhaps he gone straight to sleep, Perivar thought he could sleep for a week though not yet.  He vaguely recalled Melenis making her way to a tent, had Mistress Thera gone that way as well?  He could not recall, he had been focused on the food and not what the others were doing.

 

Without conscious thought Perivar had positioned himself facing north, it was something that he often did without thought.  He saw a tent flap open and saw Mistress Thera emerging.  He quickly dropped his eyes to study the fire.  I am not looking, do what you like, love is hard to find.  No doubt the two were in love, there had been enough signs that a blind man could tell.  He would do his part and act the fool.

 

Perivar stared into the fire, beyond the fire was the North, The Blight.  He had been so close, a days hard ride and he would have been there.  To make matters worse they had been in Arafel, his ho...no he couldn't finish the thought, it was no longer his home.  It was a bitter thought though that tore at him yet it was true.  A fact that he had struggled to overcome though the truth of the matter was that it still hurt to think about. 

 

At the northern most point of their journey he had considered riding into the Blight.  It was a fool's errand he knew though still he had considered it, it was a heartbeat from becoming reality.  He had not spoken of this to the others, he could not.  He had almost abandoned them to fulfill his destiny though it was the talks from the Night of Remembrance that kept him from charging off to the North.  The words which had affirmed what his father had told him.  The fact that he would serve a greater purpose in service to the White Tower than he could by running off to die in the blight in some act of supposed bravery.  What was one man against the Blight? Dead he thought, it made much more sense to serve the greater purpose though as much as that made perfect sense, the pull to throw his life at the Blight, to reach Shayol Ghul and spit in the Dark One's eye was still strong.  A borderland saying came into mind "Duty is heavy as a mountain, death is light as a feather"

 

His life was different now.  He was filled with a new purpose though the fight was the same, the Shadow.  He had been pledged to it from birth though the manner in which he would fight it came in a different form.  He would become a Warder to an Aes Sedai, and as such he would serve the White Tower.  He would fight the Shadow wherever he could find it, it had to be enough.  "Duty is heavy as a mountain, death is light as a feather"