On the terrors of casual life (and beach balls)

[Jimmith]

Long time no see Banders.

 

I'm here before you today, to tell a frightening, and indeed true, story. Those who feel weak of heart may turn away now.. and turn back now. Do that 50-100 times to each side and your body will thank you for it.

 

It all began this morning..

 

*twinkly-plinky sounds of remembering*

 

I stepped onto the bus, glad to get out of the light shower that made the morning feel even colder than it was. As usual the bus was almost empty as my stop in one of the first it does.  I made my way to my usual seat and sat down, noting the crack in the window that identified this bus as the same one i had been riding for several months. A few more people trickled onto the bus before it started moving towards the town that holds the place i call "work".

About two thirds of the way the bus was beginning to fill rapidly. A pretty looking girl in her early twenties queried about the seat next to me, and I nodded in consent. A quick glance around the bus made me smile on the inside. I had been lucky. The bus held even more strange people, old drunkards and fat over-perfumed middle aged ladies than usual.

Before long all seats were taken, and people were standing all around the bus.

 

Just three stops before mine the pretty girl got off. I didn't think much of  it, having already forgot the menagerie that occupied the rest of the bus.

 

Then, suddenly, it happened.

A lady in her forties or fifties turned her hungry eyes on the now vacant seat next to me. She was for all purpose a thin woman, but with an enormous  butt. Looking like nothing so much as a lizard that had swallowed a couple of beach balls, she swung towards the seat  to make sure to get there before anyone else noticed. It all happened as in slow motion. The momentum of her great backside could not be stopped, my shoulder was almost engulfed in old butt as she crashed into me. And the horror did not stop there. Her sizable backside did not quite fit the seat, so she hung, for a moment, suspended between myself and the pole on the other side of the seat. She began to wriggle and twist, and not long after sat firmly (and i mean Firmly) in the seat that had previously been occupied by a sweet young girl. The old butt-woman smelled a mix of peppermint, cigarettes and bacon. I had no choice but to be brave and wait for my stop.

 

Luckily she was going off at the same place, and did not have to crawl over her nasty person.

 

 

*twinkly-plinky sounds of returning to the present*

 

This all happened this morning and i knew at once I had to share the horror, I could not bear it alone.

 

So.. Anyone else have any casual horror stories to share?

[North Star]

cant think of any stories right now...but that made a good read :D welcome back!!

[Jimmith]

Thank you, glad you liked it :)

 

I must say though, that i am a little surprised at the lack of horrible story-answers. Did many banders fall off the wagon at the forum change? In the olden days (what, a year ago?) one could not write a post without getting a swarm of good-natured word fights and offers of strong drinks. I see thus, that it befalls me to keep interest up if i want some good horror stories, and present you with this image of Rafael Benitez in a Chelsea shirt yelling insults to George Bush in a inflatable superman costume posing in front of dancing ladies scantily clad in strange costumes at a convention.

(disclaimer: might not have happened)

 

 

[Mira]

LOL

 

Something similar happened to me once before. Perhaps I'll share it when I've had a bit of a drink. An MG brew for instance.

[Corki]

Fat chance of that M-G Brew coming from me, Froix!

 

I think I've told my goldfish horror story before...unless you want me to repeat it?

[Kristine]

repeat!

 

I have a horrid life story, but its a bit over the pg rating, so I'd have to sensor a lot of it.

 

There was one time that ********************** and he farted in my face....