It looks like I'm stuck doing this Friday's Live Q&A here. We'll start at 1PM, CST. Prepare your questions. -Sammael

 

Note: The Censor might come along and delete some of my answers. Refresh often. (Questions about The Censor are fair game.) -Sammael

 

Live Q&A starts in 15 minutes.

 

Start sending in questions. I'll spend a little bit of time just riffing on stuff until they start rolling in. -Sammael

 

It's unfair of me to say Lanfear has put on 3 gallons of Ben&Jerry's. It's more like in living again, she's consumed a tiny person. -Sammael

 

Maybe she's just stress eating. She does have the bedroom next to Asmo and his horrible music, after all... -Sammael

 

Speaking of thin walls, do you have any idea how loud Balty gets when (s)he brings a date home? The whole house hears. Inconsiderate. -Sammy

 

Ok... here we go...

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Q: @kam2112: where are all the questions?

A: I think I'm not as popular as the other Chosen. Good thing Nae'blis isn't a popularity contest and I just need to murder them all. -Sammy

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Q: @purplekittybear: Who do you think is the prettiest of the Chosen females?

A: I'd have to say that it's Graendal, I likes 'em chesty. Lanfear put on all that weight, but not in the right places. -Sammael

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Q: @jaxor: What brand of eye drops do you recommend?

A: Seriously? I know you minions have a short attention span, but I specifically said what'd happen with dumb, unfunny Qs. *balefire* -Sammy

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Q: @kam2112: where would one send his job application to become one of the Chosen?

A: I hear there's an opening for Asmo's spot. email askthechosen@gmail.com and the Great Lord will rip your soul away for you. -Sammael

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Q: @kam2112: Is Lanfear knocked up?

A: That'd require her taking part in an activity she's only read about for Ages. Saving herself for her Lewsy Wewsy. -Sammael

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Q: @small_fox: If you were Nae'blis, what would be your first dastardly act?

A: That's easy. I'd murder the remaining Chosen. Nae'blis seems to be something of a fluid title. -Sammael

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Q: @kam2112: now for the Barbra Wawa moment of this Q&A : If you were a tree what tree would you be?

A: You're kidding, right? Balefire withheld for being a little bit funny, but try harder. (I'd be a Pine. They smell nice.) -Sammael

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Q: @atfmb: is it true that the REAL reason you hate LTT is because he pants'd you in the auditorium during an assembly?

A: There is absolutely no truth to that rumor. I'll kill the next person to suggest it. He put Icy-Hot in my jockstrap. -Sammael

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Q: @nelalhurcran: Can you give us a play-by-play of the dual where LTT gave you the scar?

A: Ok, the truth... I got the scar rescuing orphans from a burning building. The Creator's team controlled the media for a few Ages -Sammael

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Q: @cyrisflare: Since it's been a few thousand years since you last walked among the living, how are you adjusting to the cuisine?

A: I *love* Tex-Mex. It's delicious and I don't care that the other Chosen complain about the gas. -Sammael

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Q: @Dician: Can you guys see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

A: It's because of all the sugar. In my Age people were in shape. Now everyone is as fat as Lanfear. -Sammael

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Q: @Shaesallthat: Would you consider a stint on ABC's Dancing w/ the Stars? I know you covet that discoball trophy!

A: You're confusing me with Rahvin. He's the one who likes to emote through the art of interpretive dance. -Sammael

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Q: @jaxor: if the chosen can travel to anywhere they wish, why not just go to another world, and dominate a group that can't fight back?

A: Travelling doesn't work that way. Besides, I like this world. It's got all my stuff. -Sammael

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Q: @kam2112: here's what everyone wants to know, What was Tiger thinking? Have you seen his wife?

A: I will track you down and murder you with sporks for prolonging that absurd bit of 'news' -Sammael

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Statement: @kam2112: I do like the spork. A most versitle utensil.

A: Then your death will be a happy one for you.

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Damn, now I'm feeling the need to pay Knights of the Old Republic. I loves me some HK statements. Meatbags! -Sammael

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Q: @kam2112: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsi Pop?

A: that was both dumb and unfunny. *balefire* -Sammael

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Satement: @kam2112: HK-47 coolest droid ever!

A: Damn straight! He's always in my party. And I take Repair skills early to fix him up good and proper for the kilin' -Sammael

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Q: @nelalhurcran: Most the Chosen seem to crave the spotlight. Why do you only have a twitter and a blog?

A: Because MySpace is for 13 year-olds and Facebook is useless. (And The Censor might miss something if we branch out too much.) -Sammael

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Q: @pmisir: Is it true that you still wear platform shoes?

A: Don't be silly. I am quite tall. -Sammael

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Statement @jaxor This is a message from the 'Pattern Protection Force' You are under arrest for willful overuse of balefire Turn yourself in

A: Don't be that douche. No one will ever respect you with that Twitter icon. -Sammael

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Q: @ragallegos: Is it fun using Saidin to force women to strip?

A: You obviously have issues with women. Talk to Rahvin. -Sammael

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Statement: @nelalhurcran: I was thinking more of vlogs and podcasts, etc. Something to get a bit more "you" out there.............

A: The Censor won't allow it because we are too well known. For example, my personal Twitter account is [CENSORED] -Sammael

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Q: @LiterateKnits: If you died would you rather come back 5 inches taller, but as a woman or the same height as a man?

A: Are you kidding? Look at the Chosen who've come back! If I'm dead, I want to stay dead. The trick is not dying in the first place. -Sammy

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Q: @kam2112: If you could Balefire one country which would it be and why?

A: Canada. They are too damn nice. And have you ever *heard* a Rush song? They need to be balefired on general principle. -Sammael

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Q: @raoden: I am turning 21 this Sunday. What would be the most creative way to celebrate?

A: Don't be cliche and get drunk. Kill a man instead. -Sammael

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Statement: @ragallegos: I will, and here I thought that Balty would be the one who I should talk to.

A: No one should talk to Balty. It just leads to her 'special room' and then we have to hear the noise all damn night. -Sammael

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Statement: @kam2112: I like Rush.

A: *BALEFIRE* -Sammael

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Q: @raoden: Did you have any particular man in mind for me to kill, or does the Great Lord prefer random acts of homicide?

A: I suggest killing someone you know. So you can stand over the body and say, "He done me wrong!" when the cops come. -Sammael

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Q: @pmisir: Canada's not that bad. Who's the easiest Chosen to live with?

A: Canada *is* that bad. I'd have to say Rahvin is the easiest to live with because he's NEVER here. It's nice. -Sammael

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Q: @LaMaky: What would you do to spite someone who broke your heart?

A: You make assumptions about a scenario that'd never happen. We all know about assumptions. They make an ass out of you and umption. -Sammy

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Statement: @kam2112: I thought the bacon joke was funny.

A: You were wrong. -Sammael

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Q: @nelalhurcran: Which of the "Good Guys" does Balty'gar secretly have a crush on?

A: She'd like to get her hands on all of them, But I think the dice player is the one she'd keep alive the longest. -Sammael

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Q: @LiterateKnits: What's your favorite weapon that doesn't rip the pattern apart?

A: Hmm... favorite weapon? Gotta be the Trolloc Hordes. ZERG RUSH! -Sammael

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Q: @cyrisflare: Let's talk torture a moment... what's your favorite way to break someone?

A: Lock them in Balty's bathroom for half an hour. -Sammael

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Q: @Dician: So what is it like, balefiring a city?

A: It's a bit like eating ice cream on a warm summer day with flowers in the air and music in your heart. It feels like love. -Sammael

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Q @small_fox: Why Illian? Seems like it would be all humid and buggy and you'd have to deal with unsightly bug bites along with being short.

A: The women wear less. Short-shorts FTW! -Sammael

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Statement: @kam2112: I didn't come here to be made sport of.

A: Liar. -Sammael

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Q: @Dician: Say there's a zombie apocolypse a la World War Z. What do you do?

A: Let it run its course and simply Travel out of the Undead Horde's way. Less people = easier world domination.-Sammael

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Q: @ragallegos: {Summmary: He is full of Bella in tEotW babbling for 2 tweets.}

Accurate Answer: You missed that bit on your reread. Better Answer: Hack writing. Funny Answer: Edward carried her through the forest -Sammy

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Q @cyrisflare: If you could summon one of the Giant Monsters from the Godzilla movies to help dominate/crush the world, which would you use?

A: I wouldn't. Have you read Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis? I want NOTHING to do with Godzilla. *shudder* -Sammael

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Ok, we've gone almost 30 minutes over, and @askthechosen has lost 5 Followers in an hour and a half. Time to end the Q&A. -Sammael