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ATC: Death! Destruction! Yay!

Guest Demandred





There is a rather irritating little flyspeck of a population that I would like to annihilate, but I'm afraid that I'm all out of creative methods of killing them. Meteors? Check. Earthquakes? Been there, done that. Since you all are experts on the subject, how do you suggest that I solve this little dillema (short of balefire)?





Dear Dick,


Your question excited me so, I couldn't help but jump to reply to it. That's a rarity with some of the questions we've got recently, so kudos to you! First of all, I want to congratulate you on obtaining a flyspeck population to subjugate. It's so much fun, and a big step on the way to becoming "The Evilest You Can BeTM." Natural disasters have their merits, but I can understand your boredom with the same ol', same ol'. Personally, I love deaths based on the victim's vices. So a glutton would die by forcefeeding him the richest most decadent foods til he chokes. A alcoholic would die face down in a barrel of wine (I taught that Mili Skane everything she knows!). A nyphomaniac would die on their....well, I won't go into detail about that one here. ;) The only problem with this method is it takes time, and it seems like you might be in a bit of a hurry to annihilate this particular population. In that case, I recommend a biological agent of some sort. There's a veritable cornucopia to choose from these days-- Anthrax, Ebola, the Bubonic Plague -- the list goes on and on. Pick one with symptoms that strike your fancy (flesh-eating bacteria, anyone?), set it loose, and watch the hilarity ensue!


Smiles and Smallpox,


Aran'gar Balthamel

Well Richard, first thing you need to ask yourself is, do I really want to annihilate the enitre population? Personally, I find such acts a bit of a waste. Dead people are useless as slaves, and if you want to use them to feed your army, keeping them alive until feeding time makes the meat last longer.

Properly managed resources strengthens your army for the next campaign, and so on.


Now, that said, the most important thing when you want to launch a campaign, be it for conquest or annihilation, is to have competent leadership. For example, if you rely on a fool like that Thelamon bloke, you might just as well stay at home, he could fail at conquering a common kindergarten. No, you need a competent and strong leader, who can see the full picture, and who is not afraid to make the tough decisions. Someone like me, in other words. I would have offered to help, but I just conquered a vodka distillery, so I will be, uhm, busy for a while. Managing resources, so to speak.


And a really creative way to go about it, hmm...A good way is to manipulate them to start killing eachother off. That way you need a much smaller army, which means more looting for everyone. And you can keep the part of the army not needed for the campaign staying put at your home base. If you have the kind of "allies" I am forced to work with, you quickly learn to guard your own back. Bah, had these bunch not been around, I would have won the war and broken the Great Lord out in a week, all by my humble self!



Dear person named after a somewhat inflated historical king,


I cannot believe I'm about to say this, but I agree with Dem. You really have no idea how much it hurt to say that. However, I will point out that when it comes to feeding your army or making the most of your resources, he has the right ideas. Infighting is fun to watch, too, I might add. If you're considering using the population for food, I would advise again plagues, as it will probably infest your army, as well. Of course, I've also heard that the adrenaline makes the meat tough, so you're taking chances there, too. I vote for entertainment, in this case.


Best of luck,




Look, everyone wants a little slice of Mayene pie--so why even bother to annihilate it? Enslave, compulse (See what I did there, 'Dred?), and reap the benefits of their misery. I hear their First is a ripe plum for the tasting, and they've got all of those oilfish shoals to profit from--especially if you manage to level or take control of Tear. Killing an entire people because you can, whilst entertaining, has no lasting value. And it is such a pain to use the One Power to get the blood out of your shirts. *sighs*



Clean white shirts since the Breaking

Dear Richard,


I would say it would just be easier to eliminate yourself. Seriously, think about it. It eliminates the problem, since you are no longer annoyed and it's a heck of a lot easier and less time consuming. You know your own schedule, your own weak points. So all is left is to dress up and take the jump. Because post mortem accessorizing is a crucial phase of the plan! It is not to be toyed with. Life and death is NOTHING compared to it. Just because you're dead doesn't mean you can't be pretty!


Good luck!



Dear Richard,


A flyspeck you say? I know a thing that could take care of that for you in the blink of an eye. Why, it is so effective and sweet, that even my fellow Chosen are hesitant to get near it. Understandable, mind, as they do not have the wits or nerve that is required to interract with this wonderful creation of mine. Which, incidentally, is why I will eventually end up being Nae'blis, just wait and see. That Arangar may have his fun playing at being a woman, but eventually the joke will be on him. His Shadowed Greatness, the Great Lord has nothing if not a wicked sense of humor.


So just say the word and I'll send one of my babyworms over your way. They need the practice, after all. Preferably before their parents get peckish and decide offspring can be fodder just as good as anything else.


Osan'gar Aginor

Dear Richard,


First off, let me applaud you on your desire to pursue genocide! You are on the right track to greatness my friend! One day, who knows? You may even be as evil as me! ...Don't hold your breath on that front though!


I find that one of the best and most entertaining ways to annihilate an entire population of people is to prevent them from leaving a certain area and starve them. Eventually, they will turn on one another in a zombie-like fashion, eating their fellow man! Such entertainment!


Another option would be to make them fight to the death in a gladiator-esque arena setting, promising salvation to the last one standing... at which point you kill the last one standing in a most brutal and tyrannical fashion!


Here is to your success and eventual twisted entertainment!



Dear Richard


I have one word for you: FEAR.


Don't listen to the others. They're crazy.


There is nothing like seeing your subjects quiver and tremble and grovel at your feet. The sound of their sweet screams is beyond ecstasy. I hope your population is not too small, though, as you're bound to break a few eggs as you learn how to make omelettes. But that can be fun too.



Why not make them do it themselves? Force them to watch this Twilight movie that just came out four times a day. If they don't off themselves, they'll be so mindless that they'll take instantly to slave labor.






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