The Test is Never Wrong and the A'dam Doesn't Lie

[Kathleen]

Gian woke up with the sun and made her bed before slipping into the blue and red dress that marked her a sul'dam. She watched herself in the reflection of the mirror as she brushed out the hair that fell to her shoulders. She looked the vision of the perfect sul'dam, but even after all the years she still worried if she was doing the best she could in her station. Oh her track record spoke wonders, but she felt that she was only as good as the damane she was training.

 

She was used to training damane who knew all that it meant. This one really didn't know a thing about what she was. This one would be a true test for her skills. Gian stared into her mirrored eyes with determination. I will teach this one to obey. I can make her accept, understand, and become the perfect damane. I will make her good enough to present to the Empress, may she live forever! It was a high challenge at this stage, this damane didn't even really believe she could channel, but it was the standard Gian always set for herself. She was only as good as the damane she trained, and this one was going to be a bigger challenge than she had had in a long time. Every challenge had a way to succeed, and Gian was sure this one would be no different.

 

She finished getting ready and made her way to the kennels. Siril would be up now and fed no doubt. It was time to prove her to that the a'dam doesn't lie. Just because she had been lucky enough not to channel before she was collared didn't mean she couldn't. Gina walked through the kennels with out so much as a sideways glance at the other damane until she reached the space Siril was in.

 

"Good morning Siril," she said pleasantly, "I trust you got a good night's rest. We have a long day ahead." Gian went in and reached for the bracelet.

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

Edited November 23, 2011 by Kathleen

[Niniel]

Siril woke up and even before she opened her eyes she knew something was wrong. The smell was wrong, it was a fresh smell, not the one from burnt ham. The noise was wrong, or more precisely the lack of noise. Everything was quiet. All the time she had wished for some silence back home at the tavern, now it frightened her. It seamed unnatural with so much silence. She opened her eyes. It was still a little dark. The sun would probably rise soon. The first thing she saw was the leash. How on earth had she been able to sleep with that? She had fallen asleep as soon as that sul´dam had left her and now it was almost morning. She didn´t think she had ever slept for that long before. She sat up on the bed and grimaced when she felt the pain. It didn´t hurt as much as it had done yesterday but it still hurt. For a second she thought about going back to sleep and pretend that this was just a dream but she knew it wasn´t. Pretend? Dream? Right, she would pretend to be the perfect damane. She was Siril. Tovinia was not there anymore. She was Siril... She had had a lot of dreams. She remembered some of it. Her father had been beating her and called her lazy and then monsters had grabbed him and started beating him instead. She had ran and someone followed her and it didn´t matter what way she took because all of them ended with a wall. In her dreams she threw fireballs at the walls but nothing happened.

 

Siril shook her head and got up. She tried to fix her dress the best she could. She washed her faced with the cold water. Then she sat down again and looked at the leash. She knew that there where no point in trying to take it away from the hook. Tovinia would have tried anyway but until she could return Siril would be a good damane. She was still sitting on the bed when a girl came in with a plate of food for her. The bread and the cheese where delicious although the portion was a little too small for her. She tried to make eye contact with the girl but she just looked at her with a smile. Right! She should not look anyone in the eyes. She must learn. The girl took away the plate and left. Siril remained on the bed. She went over everything again and again. Accept and pretend. Don´t look anyone in the eyes. Accept and pretend. Talk about myself as Siril, not I, not me. Accept and pretend. She was so focused on her thoughts that she didn´t hear her sul´dam enter.

 

"Good morning Siril." "I trust you got a good night's rest. We have a long day ahead." Siril jumped at the unexpected words. Then she stood up and bowed. She would not look her in the eyes. She would not speak. What was going to happen?

 

 

Siril

Damane

Edited November 30, 2011 by TinaHel

[Kathleen]

Gian was impressed with Siril. She seemed a little awkward, the way she jumped and then stood so rigidly and bowed but she was trying. That was a very good sign. The damane was trying to please her, perhaps this one wouldn't be as difficult to train as she had originally thought.

 

The sul'dam took the silver bracelet off the hook where she had left it and slid it onto her wrist. "Very good, Siril." she said as patted the girl on her shoulder. Reward and acknowledgement often had as good of a response and punishment. If she knew she was doing well and was pleasing her sul'dam she would want to do it more.

 

"I hope you rested well. Are you ready for your big day? Today you will learn that we do not make mistakes. Today we begin your training." She hoped the girl would be excited to learn. Today would go much more smoothly if the damane wanted to learn, but she'd learn whether she wanted to or not. Gian turned to leave, "Come along, Siril." she called back.

 

The girl fell into place and stayed at Gian's side as they walked. Gian sent a gentle warmth and good feelings to her. Siril was doing well. Gian only hoped that she would do as well when she was taught that she really could channel. Siril had seemed appalled at the notion when she was collared the day before. Gian knew that she would be appalled if she found out that she could channel, so she didn't hold that against the damane, but the thought that Siril was collared and still didn't believe it was something she would hold against her. Siril wasn't the first damane to deny her ability, but the Sul'dam were not wrong about this. The a'dam doesn't lie, and today Siril would be faced with a truth she could not deny. It was a terribly unfortunate truth, but Gian would be there to comfort the poor thing as the reality of it set in. At least with the a'dam she could be of use. So many damane wish to die when they find out it is true. Gian would show her that with the help of the Sul'dam Siril could still be very useful.

 

The two walked to the large empty room training room. Nothing to distract the damane from their lessons, and nothing to be damaged if there was ever an accident. Gian ushered Siril into the room.

 

"This is the channeling grounds. Today you will begin to learn how to use and control your ability. Do be frightened. I will not let anything harm you, and I will help you to learn safely. You will not try to channel with out my command, and if you do, you will not be able to anyway. When you are ready, we will begin. Tell me, what do you know about channeling? Have you done it before? Do not worry, I will not be angry with you if you have channeled before and you tell me now."

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

[Niniel]

The sul´dam patted her on her head and told her that she was a good damane. Siril tried not to push away her hand. She didn´t like people touching her at all and certainly not people patting her on the head like a dog. She took a deep breath and followed the sul´dam as she started to walk. Going through the corridor she saw servants, sul´dams with damanes, and sul´dams without damanes. Had there been so much people here the day before? Maybe she had been too shocked to notice? While walking beside the sul´dam Gian she started to feel warm and relaxed. How strange. Well, she had hopes for the day. The sul´dam would notice that she couldn´t channel and then they would let her go. She relaxed a little more. Surely they would let her go.

 

They walked into a large empty room. "This is the channeling grounds. Today you will begin to learn how to use and control your ability. Do be frightened. I will not let anything harm you, and I will help you to learn safely. You will not try to channel with out my command, and if you do, you will not be able to anyway. When you are ready, we will begin. Tell me, what do you know about channeling? Have you done it before? Do not worry, I will not be angry with you if you have channeled before and you tell me now." How would she answer without angering the sul´dam? She thought for a moment and answered, still looking down. "Siril has never channeled. Siril don´t think she can do it. Siril has only heard of the ones called Aes Sedai that can channel." She hesitated. "Siril means those women that hasn´t yet been leashed." Would that answer satisfy the sul´dam? She was pretty pleased with herself for remembering to talk about her self in third person. It was not a good idea to anger the sul´dam. Soon enough she would see that they had mistaken and let her go. Surely they would.

 

Siril

Damane

[Kathleen]

"Siril has never channeled. Siril don´t think she can do it. Siril has only heard of the ones called Aes Sedai that can channel." Gian could feel the damane's nerves rise as she spoke the word but she quickly corrected herself, "Siril means those women that hasn´t yet been leashed." Gian glared at her as she mentioned the term she had been told not to, but Gian didn't want to start the lesson off with punishment. The damane didn't think she could channel, she would need encouragement and support if today was going to be successful. Still the girl had to learn.

 

"You will not use that term again, Siril. I told you once, and now I give my last warning. They are nothing more than marath'damane. If I ever hear that term out of your mouth again I assure you will feel pain far worse than you have ever experienced. I do not like hurting my damane, Siril, but not be fooled into thinking I will not do anything necessary to see that you learn your lessons and act as a good damane should." Gian's tone lightened as she smiled at the damane. "You may not believe that you can channel, but I believe in you. I will show you that you can do it. Now, stay calm, keep an open mind and let's begin trying."

 

Gian's waited for the girl to nod, she could tell that the damane was still very hesitant, but still she nodded that she would try. Gian spoke in a very calm tone as she began the lesson.

 

"Close your eyes and feel within yourself. Shut out all other thoughts until you can feel and sense nothing other than a warmth deep within your chest. When you find that warmth focus on it, and nothing more. Let your self focus so much on that warmth and nothing else and let it spread through you slowly until it radiates all over your body."

 

Gian paused and waited patiently for the girl to try. She was teaching the girl how to prepare herself to channel. Before she could make any weaves she would have to go through this process to open herself up to the power she held.

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

Edited December 4, 2011 by Kathleen

[Niniel]

How could she forget that she wasn´t allowed to mention the Aes Sedai? Siril expected pain but the sul´dam only corrected her. "You will not use that term again, Siril. I told you once, and now I give my last warning. They are nothing more than marath'damane. If I ever hear that term out of your mouth again I assure you will feel pain far worse than you have ever experienced. I do not like hurting my damane, Siril, but not be fooled into thinking I will not do anything necessary to see that you learn your lessons and act as a good damane should." Marath'damane. She had to remember that word. She had never been afraid of pain but after what happened to her yesterday she didn´t want to upset the sul´dam. It was too obvious that the sul´dam meant what she said.

 

"You may not believe that you can channel, but I believe in you. I will show you that you can do it. Now, stay calm, keep an open mind and let's begin trying." Siril nodded to show she had understood. She would try. She saw no other way to show that she couldn´t channel. She took a deep breath.

 

The sul´dam started to talk in a calm voice. Siril appreciated it since it was still hard for her to understand the strange dialect. "Close your eyes and feel within yourself. Shut out all other thoughts until you can feel and sense nothing other than a warmth deep within your chest. When you find that warmth focus on it, and nothing more. Let your self focus so much on that warmth and nothing else and let it spread through you slowly until it radiates all over your body." Siril forced herself to close her eyes. She didn´t trust the sul´dam but she couldn´t see how she could refuse. Life had learned her that closing your eyes or trusting people were sure ways to get fooled. She took another deep breath. Listening to the sul´dams instructions she tried to find that warmth. At first she couldn´t focus at all. Strange thoughts popped into her head. Memories that she hadn´t thought about in a long time. Her father smiling at a girl saying "Tovinia, say hello to your new mother". Her father pulling his arm around another young woman. "This is your new mother. Be nice to her." Another woman. Her fathers hard eyes looking at her while introducing her new mother... Siril opened her eyes and shrugged. Where did those memories come from? The sul´dam stood there watching her. Siril quickly closed her eyes again. She tried to relax and focus on the sul´dams voice again. Calm feelings came over her. She had felt that feeling yesterday too. Was it the sul´dam that did something to her? Her voice was hypnotic and as Siril listened to it she felt more and more relaxed. Her mind went searching for the warmth and oddly enough she wasn´t surprised when she found it. She smiled. It felt good, somehow she felt whole, like she had found a missing piece of herself. Suddenly she could see a picture of a smiling little girl. The picture changed and she could see the girl running away crying. The picture changed back and see could again see the little smiling girl, then it changed again. She tried to hold on to the picture of the smiling girl. She could feel tears falling down her cheeks but she held on to the smiling girl and then the warmth was back. She could hear the sul´dams voice vaguely in the distance as she felt the warmth spread to the rest of her body.

 

 

Siril

Damane

[Niniel]

x

Edited December 11, 2011 by TinaHel

[Kathleen]

Gian could feel Siril's heart racing as she tried to clear her mind. Clearly she was having trouble to still herself, but Gian knew that saying something would only make the girl more nervous so she waited patiently. Then it happened. The girl started to still and relax and then Gian could feel that familiar embrace. The girl had found it. She could feel her opening up to it and then she wavered. The sul'dam waited and when the girl had pulled it back into herself she knew the damane had figured it out. For one who had not done it before, who had not even thought she could, this girl was willing to try and proving to be a quick learner. What more could a sul'dam ask for?

 

When she was sure the girl had held it, Gian abruptly put a block in place and stopped her. "Very good, Siril! You did it on your very first try! I am very pleased." She encouraged and congratulated the girl for her good work. "Now, let's make sure you've really got it. Center yourself, clear your mind and find that warmth again. Let it fill you as you did before. Pay close attention to how you do this, as this is the first step to do your job."

 

Gian removed her block and waited for the girl to calm herself and for that feeling to fill her again. This time it came sooner after she had calmed herself. When she filled with the warmth again Gian broke her off from it once more. "Very good, Siril! Now, you will only be able to do that when I am with you, and I tell you that you may. I believe we are ready to move this lesson forward." Gian moved in closer to the girl as she began to explain.

 

"Listen closely Siril. I know you want to keep practicing, but I am going to explain to you what it is you are practicing and why. This is what you need to understand. This is what you are working for, so pay attention." When she was sure the girl's focus was on her and not on trying to reach that embrace she had just held, but was now blocked from, Gian continued the lesson. "That warmth you felt filling you was sadair. It is what you are able to use to do all of the tricks you are capable of doing. In that state you can use the different parts that make up saidar, earth, fire, water, air and spirit, to do many things. It is in learning how to manipulate these parts, how to mix them together and use them, that is your use. Every damane can do this, but to different capacities. How strong you are in your ability, and how well you can use saidar will set your path. You will be stronger in some of these elements and weaker in others, each damane has some parts that they are stronger in, but where their strengths lay is different for each one. The stronger you are, the more use you will be to the Empire. It is not all in strength though. Some of the weaves can become quiet tricky, and you will need to be quite skilled to do some of them. The more you are able to do, the more valuable you will become. This is your purpose. This is your place. Become the best that you can be at this and you will be well rewarded. Do you understand this?"

 

Gian gave the girl a moment to let it all sink in. "Now then, are you ready to continue your studies of saidar? Or do you have questions before we continue? We will try to use each element today so you can become familiar with them. It may be tricky at first, so do not be discouraged. If you behave, I will let you practice often to get better at it."

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

[Niniel]

Suddenly the warmth was gone. Siril opened her eyes and looked around. What had happened? As the sul´dam talked to her she understood. The sul´dam had somehow stopped her. Siril shivered. The sul´dam could obviously control both her body and her mind and it was terrifying. Siril took a new deep breath. Then the sul´dam told her to try it again. She closed her eyes and searched for the warm feeling. The block was gone and she had no problem finding it again. It was wonderful. She felt relaxed and yet filled with energy. She could feel not just herself but the room around her. She felt like home.

 

Without a warning the warmth was abruptly taken from her again. It was like a wall had shut her out. She could still sense it there somewhere but even though she tried to push the wall it wouldn´t move. The sul´dam started talking to her again and she gave up the attempt to reconnect with the wonderful warmth and listened to her. "That warmth you felt filling you was sadair. It is what you are able to use to do all of the tricks you are capable of doing. In that state you can use the different parts that make up saidar, earth, fire, water, air and spirit, to do many things. It is in learning how to manipulate these parts, how to mix them together and use them, that is your use. Every damane can do this, but to different capacities. How strong you are in your ability, and how well you can use saidar will set your path. You will be stronger in some of these elements and weaker in others, each damane has some parts that they are stronger in, but where their strengths lay is different for each one. The stronger you are, the more use you will be to the Empire. It is not all in strength though. Some of the weaves can become quiet tricky, and you will need to be quite skilled to do some of them. The more you are able to do, the more valuable you will become. This is your purpose. This is your place. Become the best that you can be at this and you will be well rewarded. Do you understand this?"

 

Siril couldn´t believe her ears. The sul´dam said that the warmth was saidar. Why did she say that? Was she trying to make her think that she could channel after all? She could not! She had put up with this to prove that she couldn´t channel, because that was what would set her free, but somehow the sul´dam tried to use that against her. Maybe the sul´dam still thought she could in fact channel? She had shown many signs of madness already. Siril wanted to run away but her feet wouldn´t move. A small part of her wanted to please the sul´dam so she would take away the block that prevented her from feeling whole. She felt disgusted when she recognized that but she knew she hadn´t really an option. To run away now wouldn´t work. She still had to stay and prove to the sul´dam that she couldn´t channel. That was her only ticket out of there. She nodded to show that she had understood.

 

"Now then, are you ready to continue your studies of saidar? Or do you have questions before we continue? We will try to use each element today so you can become familiar with them. It may be tricky at first, so do not be discouraged. If you behave, I will let you practice often to get better at it." Siril hesitated. Her voice was just a whisper as she answered the sul´dam. "Yes, Siril is ready to continue."

Edited February 8, 2012 by TinaHel

[Kathleen]

Siril did not have much conviction in her voice, but she did have smarts enough to agree to carry on. Could the damane still not see herself for what she was? Well, by the end of the day she would be done denying it. At least she was smart enough not to deny it out loud anymore.

 

"Now that know how find that warmth we will move on to the important part, how you can use it. The warmth you feel is made up of five elements: Water, Air, Fire, Earth and Spirit. Each element appears a different colour when pulled into a thread. Usually the colours are green for Water, blue for Air, brown for Earth, red for Fire and silver or white for Spirit.

 

Some damane see slightly different colours, but you will learn which is which for you and they will always be the same. They have different feelings too as you will notice when you get to use them. There are five distinct elements to use. Using one alone can have small results, but the real power comes when you weave these elements together.

 

Soon I will instruct you to find that warmth again. I will call the command 'Embrace'. When you hear my command, you will be able to connect with the warmth and each time I tell you to 'Embrace' you will aim to find it faster than the last. Speed is always your goal. A damane must be fast to be useful. Now 'Embrace'." She commanded the damane in a calm tone.

 

When Siril finally took hold of the power within herself, Gian spoke once more, "Remember, next time, you will find it faster than that." It wasn't a challenge, and it wasn't a threat, it simply was the bar being set.

 

"Now, do not fight me in this. Pay attention to how these are formed, so you can do them again on your own and remember which colour you see with each element." Gian cleared her own mind and felt her way through the link she had with Siril. She could feel the warmth shift and through that connection from the a'dam she slowly forced the girl to formed thin threads of each element, and Gian called them out in turn. When she finished forming the last thread, she told Siril to do each one again on her and left the girl to do it, keeping ready to block her if she fell off task.

 

Gian Darug

Suldam

[Niniel]

"Embrace." Siril closed her eyes and followed the command. It was easier to find the warmth this time. She would not call it saidar because that was not what it was. It was a good feeling, nothing else. "Now, do not fight me in this. Pay attention to how these are formed, so you can do them again on your own and remember which colour you see with each element." A strange feeling came over her. Somehow she could now see, not only sense, the warmth. It was an amazing sight. So much energy and still so calm. She felt a desire to explore this energy. She reached out for it and suddenly she found herself making thin red threads out of it. Red is fire, the sul´dam had told her. She made the threads longer and longer but then she dropped them. Why had she dropped them? Her focus changed and now she explored the blue energy. It felt different. It was lighter but harder to make threads out of. It was like it wanted to escape her. She tried to make it obey her and just when it did she lost it. The same happened over again. She found the brown, green and silver energies but as soon as she had weaved some threads they disappeared. Weave?! Why had she thought about it in such way?

 

The sul´dam told her to do it all over on her own again. On her own? Hadn´t she done it on her own earlier? Suddenly her eyes got wide open. She hadn´t done it on her own. She could not weave and she could not see elements or saidar. The sul´dam used some sort of mind control and now she tried to get Siril to think that she could channel. If Siril could channel it would mean that the sul´dam could keep her. She would not let her escape... Siril panicked. She had to get out of there. The door was open but the sul´dam stood in the way. Forgetting all about the last day she jumped on the sul´dam and hit her with all her strength in the stomach...

[Kathleen]

The damane stayed peaceful as Gian forced the weaves from her. Not all damane let over the control so calmly and the Sul'dam was impressed, but when she told Siril to do it again on her own, she could feel her rebel. Her eyes widened in shock and she was filled with concern. Before Gian could force the girl to submission she had thrown herself in to the sul'dam and Gian fell to the ground with a thud.

 

This wasn't the first time she had been knocked to the ground and had the breath taken from her body. It wasn't one second after she hit the ground herself that she heard the damane crumble to the floor after her. If she had the wind knocked from her the girl would be far worse off.

 

Siril laid doubled over on the floor when Gian stood and loomed over her. "I thought you had learned your lesson yesterday." She reached down and grabbed the girl by the collar of her simple grey dress to pull her to a sitting position. Siril was still catching her breath and recovering from her own pain when Gian's hand made contact with the damane's face. As soon as the sting from the slap set in Gian set a cold chill through the damanes whole body making it seem as if the girls whole body was a block of ice until Gian was sure the girls focus was on nothing other than her and trying to keep her breathing.

 

"You will not attack me again Siril. I do not have foolish damane. I do not have unruly damane. You will behave." Gian's gaze shifted as she dismissed the damane and she relaxed herself as she moved freely around the floor.

 

"To train you I must have hands to hold the leash. I must have my voice to give the commands. I must have as much physical ability as possible to serve the Empress, may she live forever, you don't need such luxuries to do your part."

 

She could feel the damane struggling and she slowly pulled the cold from her making sure to give in just enough heat to not have the shock damage her. "Our lesson for today is done. When you are ready to be a good damane we will come back here to do it again.

 

"Come, Siril, back to the kennel." Gian did not say another word to the damane as she lead her back.

 

*****************

 

Gian left the girl in her kennel and gave strict instructions for no one to interfere. She would have food and water of course, but no interaction with other damane and she was not to be exercised. Gian came to check on her once each day. It was a simple visit, she would go in, ask if the girl was going to be a good damane and if she was ready to learn yet. No matter the answer Gian would simply say, 'not yet then, I see.' and leave her there, confined to the kennels. At first she was sure the girl was pleased not to have to try, but she knew given enough time the girl would long to feel that warm embrace and she though she would plead to touch it again, Gian was ready to hold her back until she decided it was long enough.

 

Then one day Gian stormed into the Siril's kennel and slid the silver bracelet from the hook to her wrist and in a flash she could feel the mix of shock and excitement flood from Siril to herself. "Come. It is time to try again."

 

The Sul'dam lead Siril back down to the training room. "Now, when I say, you will embrace, and when you do you will find each element and show me what you have learned."

 

She paused just for a moment before she gave the command, "Embrace."

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

[Niniel]

How many days had gone by? She had no idea. She remembered being led back to her room. She had been in pain. So much pain. As soon as the sul´dam had left the room she had tried to run away but she couldn´t lift the bracelet from the hook on the wall. More pain. She had been mad of anger. She had tried to throw the chair into the wall only to find that she couldn´t lift it. She tried to reach the warmth only to find a thick wall that prevented her to seize it. The only way she could release her anger was to scream so that was what she had done. She had screamed until her throat hurt and she had become hoarse. She had screamed until she passed out on the bed. The following days had been a total chaos. Tovinia was back. She had pretended to be Siril but Siril was a lie. Siril had been there to protect her but she had failed. Siril could stand the seanchan but Tovinia was a prisoner that would never get free. During the days she oscillated between anger and despair. Nights was full of nightmares. She ran towards a woman that she knew was her mother but when she finally reached her it was Gian, the sul´dam. She was on a wonderful meadow with beautiful flowers but when she tried to pick them she got stung by wasps. She was in a fabric store and she had been promised to get new dresses in all of the rainbow colours but when she got them they were all grey. Keire proposed to her but instead of giving her a ring he put an a´dam around her neck.

 

Days had gone by and the anger had left her and only dispair remaind. She spent the days laying in bed. She was sad that she would never meet Keire again. Did he miss her? Was he looking for her? She longed for him and she longed for the warmth. Every day she tried to reach it, tried to get through the wall but failed over and over again. With it she had felt alive, whole ... and like home.

 

Gian came to her after lunch each day. The first days she had screamed at her that she had to let her go. She had screamed that she hated her and that she would kill her. Gian never payed any attention to her outburst. She calmly looked at her and said "not yet then, I see". That was her only respons wheather Tovinia begged her to let her go or just ignored her.

 

Days went by and slowly new thoughts started to take form. They were born out of longing. What if she should just give in? She couldn´t fool herself - in her dreams she would be free to live a life with Keire but the truth was that her father would never had let her go. If she wouldn´t have been in the kennel she would have been serving burned food and beer to the shabby guests in the tavern. She would have been stuck there watching the days go by and new mothers pass by one after one. She was a prisoner there too. Here she could learn how to channel, if that was in fact saidar she had felt. The sul´dam would let her feel the warmth again if she behaved. She felt sick thinking like this and she hated herself for letting the sul´dam do this too her but she could not deny it. She longed more for the warmth than for her father. Maybe Siril would get a better life than Tovinia could ever have?

 

For days she went back and forth. Tovinia and Siril discussed and argued. She couldn´t give in, she had to fight! But maybe she would get oppertunities that she would never get in the outside world in here? It was the longing that decided for her eventually. She should not give up, maybe she would find a way to be free later but as long as she was here she wanted to feel saidar. She had to get to the other side of the wall. Saidar was singing to her, telling her to come. When Gian arrived she had washed up, braided her hair and sat calm on her bed. She never looked at the sul´dam but asked for permission to speak. When she got it she simply said "Siril asks for forgivnes".

 

It took days before Gian said anything other than "not yet, I see". Siril started to get nerveous. What if she wouldn´t be allowed back into training? Had she angered the sul´dam too much? Somewhere in the back of her head Tovinia mumbled that she shouldn´t let the sul´dam take over her mind but Siril let her mumble. Then at last Gian said "Come. It´s time to try again." Siril followed the sul´dam back to the training room. She was anxious, nervous and afraid. Afraid to do something wrong. "Now, when I say, you will embrace, and when you do you will find each element and show me what you have learned." The sul´dams voice was calm. Siril took a deap breath.

 

"Embrace." The wall was gone! She could feel the warmth floating through her body. She could see it and she could feel it. Nothing else mattered right now.

[Kathleen]

The feeling of pride at a job well done she got at sensing the damane truly surrendering for the first time, slipped almost completely away from her as Gian stood in the training room ready to start the the next step of the journey into strengthening Siril. She was finally ready to be taught, but there was a lot to learn. This was only the start at making her into a proper damane, one worthy to serve the Empress, may she live forever, someday. That was Gian's goal, as it always was as she trained damane, as her challenge started now. Finding this one's path and potential, and seeing her get there.

 

At the command, Siril opened herself to the warmth and let it fill her. So, she had a decent memory, that would be a good thing. The damane seemed to stall at that point, and Gian knew it was not from not knowing how to find the elements. As the Sul'dam began to push a block to slow the draw of the source to the damane she spoke, "We are here to train, not to simply stand around. Find me each element and tell me what they do."

 

When Siril had accomplished the task Gian had her move logs of wood to a pit that had been used many times. She told her how to set them up, and when it was ready the lesson continued. Now that you can find them, its time to use them. We will start with simple weaves, so you can learn, but if you do them well you will learn more complicated, and more useful ones. For now, we start small."

 

Gian explained how to weave the air and fire together to form a ball of fire, and told Siril to use it to light the logs. It was the easiest of the fire weaves, and most damane had at least some level of difficulty with fire. The ones who did have strength in this element were very lucky. Gian always started the training with fire. Gian took a step behind Siril and gave the command to make the fireball and light the target.

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

[Niniel]

"We are here to train, not to simply stand around. Find me each element and tell me what they do." Siril was nervous to speak up. She had no problem finding the elements but she was afraid that she wouldn´t say it in the right way, afraid of anger the sul´dam. Now that she finally got to feel saidar again she didn´t want it to be taken away from her right away. She took her time answering so that she could enjoy the wonderful feeling of being one with saidar again and to be sure to get it right. Then she picked one element at the time and described to the sul´dam what they felt like and looked like. Every element had it´s own characteristics. They had different colours, they behaved differently and she got different feelings from them. As soon as she stopped talking the wall was back. For a few seconds she felt like she was going to panic but then she felt a soothing feeling coming from the sul´dam. Gian didn´t tell her that she was pleased with her but she didn´t correct her either. Siril took that as a good sign.

 

Gian continued the lesson by ordering her to move logs of woods to a pit. Siril obeyed. She had promised herself that she would not do anything today that would upset the sul´dam. Well, at least she could try. When she was done Gian told her that it was time to start using the elements and showed her how to do a ball of fire. Siril concentrated. The weave didn´t look that hard to do. Gian removed the wall and she started to pull out threads of fire and air. It was harder than she had thought. She had already learned in this short time that the elements behaved differently but it was hard to handle two different elements at the same time. She had to handle them in different ways and that required a lot of concentration. She began to sweat. Several times she lost a thread and had to start all over again but then, thread by thread, the weave started to take shape. Suddenly there was a little ball of fire. Siril got so surprised that she just dropped it on the floor. She had been so focused on the weaving that she hadn´t thought about that it would actually result in something. She got elated and frightened at the same time. Just think that she could do this. She, a simple girl, could make balls of fire! She wanted to laugh out loud but didn´t dare while Gian was watching her. That was surely not the right way for a damane to behave. Gian stomped on the small fire ball. "Do it again but aim at the logs this time." Her voice didn´t show any kinds of emotions. Siril nodded and started all over again. It was slightly easier this time but she had to start over many times before the weave was finally finished. This time she raised her hands and let the ball of fire hit the logs. One of the logs immediately caught fire. She couldn´t believe her eyes. She had done it!

[Niniel]

Siril thought that the lesson was over but Gian just ordered her to rest. She sat down on the floor and was given a glass of water that she drank thirsty. She was tired from creating the fireball but at the same time she felt so alive. She had set the logs on fire! It was hard to believe but she had done it. She noticed that Gian hadn´t blocked her from Saidar this time. Maybe it was a kind of reward for learning fast? Or maybe it was some sort of test to see what she would do? She did not get any time to think about it before Gian ordered her to stand up again. Gian walked over to the fire and held a small stick to it. When the stick started to burn she put it next to the logs.

 

"The next thing you will learn is to put out fire with water. I will show you how to pull water out of the air and you will watch closely. Concentrate on putting out the fire on the stick." Gian didn´t wait for her to nod this time. Siril listened as Gian told her how to do it. It was easier this time. The threads of water was slippery but it was easier to handle one element instead of two. She smiled as she let the water weave drop on the stick. But the small fire didn´t die. Obviously she had not channeled enough water. She started all over again. It was harder to make a larger weave. The threads escaped her and she had to start over again and again. She was totally exhausted once she had created enough water to put out the fire. Her body was trembling and she wanted to lie down on the floor but didn´t dare to.

[Kathleen]

Gian was quiet pleased with her damane's progress. For the first time doing it, she was doing very well. She was quiet an emotional little thing, full of nerves and fright, but the confidence would come with time. As Siril learned that she was pleasing the Sul'dam she would gain the confidence and with more experience she would perform with more stability. Gian didn't mind stomping out the fire, it wasn't the first time a fireball went astray. It was the damane's first try after all. She was lucky to be able to create the ball the first time. And she learned to correct it fast. Another great quality.

 

The rest of the lesson went along very well and by the end of it Siril was exhausted but looked very pleased with her work. Gian would have taught her humility in her actions, but she was pleased with her to, and good work should be rewarded after all. When the lesson was over Gian came over to Siril's side and smoothed out her hair as she spoke, "Very good work today, Siril. You did very very well. I am very pleased. Come now, you have earned your rest." With a wide smile Gian led Siril back to her kennel, and left instructions to have a proper meal brought to her. Her dietary restriction was over, and she hoped that would encourage her to continue her obedience.

 

The next day Gian came early to be sure Siril did not start to feel abandoned again. "Good morning Siril. How was your rest?" When she had the answer slipped the bracelet of the a'dam onto her wrist. "I hope your meal was filling this morning, you'll need all the strength you've got today. Time for more lessons." She waited for Siril to rise and then lead her outside.

 

They walked to an open patch of land, there weren't many people around when they got there, but as soon as it was clear they were headed there the few people who were around left. "Now we start again. Yesterday you got to use Fire and Water. Today we will focus on Air, Earth and Spirit."

 

Gian set a piece of stone on a stump a few feet from where they were standing and then stood behind Siril. "We will start off with an easy one. A simple weave of Air will allow you to lash out and whip the stone off the stump. It is a good way to practice your aim. And the same weave can be used in many different ways, if you're clever enough." Gian explained the simple weave for the whiplash and then removed the block and told Siril to Embrace, and knock the stone from the stump.

 

Gian Darug

Sul'dam

[Niniel]

Back in her room, Siril finally let out a laughter. It was just amazing! She had made a fireball! She had made water come out of the air! Her suldam had blocked Saidar but she could still feel the power that had filled her during her lesson. She felt full of life even though she was totally exhausted. She longed for the next lesson already. Did she really? A voice inside her reminded her that she was a prisoner but she chose to not listen to it. That was a problem that she would think about later, she had to make the best of her time here even if she was not here of her free will.

 

She fell asleep as soon as she had eaten her dinner and slept without dreams all through the night. She felt a little guilty that she had enjoyed the lessons yesterday. Should a captive really feel joy? Again, she chose not to think about it. When Gian came to get her she was anxious for a new lesson. This time Gian took her to a place outside the kennel. She set a piece of stone on a stump a few feet from where they were standing and then stood behind Siril. "We will start off with an easy one. A simple weave of Air will allow you to lash out and whip the stone off the stump. It is a good way to practice your aim. And the same weave can be used in many different ways, if you're clever enough." Gian showed her how to make the weave and then she gave the commando "embrace". It come to her even quicker this time. Not because Gian had told her to make it faster each time but because she was so eager to feel saidar again. The weave was quite simple to make but to make it big enough and aim it right was harder. It took her a long time before she finally could whip the stone off the stump. She was worried that sul´dam would get angry but she didn´t say a word. Like yesterday she let Siril continue to hold on to saidar after she was done.

[Kathleen]

Gian waited with patience as Siril formed the weave and tried aim it time and again. It was a simple weave, but that didn't mean it was an easy task. In time and with more practice it would be easy, but this was the learning time, and each damane learned at different rates and each would take time to get things right as they learned. She was pleased with Siril's determination and very pleased at how well tempered she was even in failing. The damane did not scream in frustration as some did. She did not stomp her feet or act out physically as some did. She just let the weave go, and remade it and sent it out toward the stone again and again, getting closer each time until finally the stone dropped off he stump.

 

When it did fall from the stump Gian let Siril reveal in the succuess for a moment before she moved on. She would have given more, but there was more to do. She had to learn to use each element, and there were still two left to experience. This damane was new to her abilities and so she would tire easily. "Release it now." It was a softly said so she could try not to have Siril think she was being punished. She had done well, and doing well was rewarded, not punshed and Gian didn't want to confuse the new damane, but she couldn't hold the power forever.

 

"As you just learned, this will take some time to perfect. Do continue to keep your patience. But the only way to improve is to continue trying and continue working with it in more trying ways. Now, before you are too tired, it is time to use Earth. You remember which is Earth, yes?" When Siril replied that she did remember Gian continued. "You will embrace on my command, take hold of Earth and aim it into the ground there-" Gian pointed to a patch of flat, empty ground a few feet away from them, "drill it down into one spot and then push it out from that spot across the ground. This will cause the earth to ripple. Be careful not to do too much damage, but be sure that you complete the task." The girl had a hint of unease at that, but she didn't voice it. Gian set her eyes on the patch of ground she had spoke of moments before and gave the command to embrace.

 

Gian Darug

Suldam