It's all about Recovery...

[U4ea]

Loraine sat outside the tent she shared with Kynwric, staring into the line of trees in front of her as she slowly released her hair from the knot on the back of her head. She unpinned the stone dangling from the thin chain that usually rested on her brow and dropped it in her lap with the pins. Her fingers worked through the hip-length ripples of golden blond hair with an almost distracted air.

 

This she had been avoiding for almost a hundred years. Somewhere inside that mess of trees before her was the line she had fought not to cross since the day she’d fallen in love with Kynwric. Even before she’d bonded him, she’d dreaded the day she’d been standing here, staring at these trees. She knew he felt it, the heavy crush of dread that hung on her like a cloak.

 

Her guilt at having kept him from his home for so long had weighed on her every day she drew a breath. He had family somewhere across that line. Family that probably didn’t remember him, but that was hardly the point. He should have been part of their lives and it was her fault he hadn’t been. He’d claim it wasn’t important, but it should’ve been. Was it worth the risk she was taking, or would have taken so long ago, to keep him involved?

 

She sighed inwardly and dropped her gaze to the ground before reaching behind her head and gathering all of her hair to the side. If only that were her only sin here. In truth, she’d rather face a hundred trollocs in the Blight than standing here trying to sneak into Amadacia to get Rashima’s Journal safely back to the Tower. There simply wasn't a good answer to any of her questions and that only seemed to make the dread grow heavier.

 

She sighed as she started separating her hair to braid it, feeling Kyn growing closer as he finished his circuit of their camp. Tomorrow morning was early enough to worry about Amadacia. The knot in her head that was her warder made her wonder if the White Cloaks wouldn’t be so bad by comparison…

 

~Loraine

[_Kynwric_]

Kyn felt the tension in his wife through the bond, he could feel it the whole way round the camp and it was distracting him to no end. He had tripped over 3 different sets of roots and nearly run into a tree at one point as he made his way through the nightly routine and when he finally finished and began to head back towards their tent Kyn was relieved that there were others who would be doing the same thing he had just done. It wasn't that he feared he had missed a danger, but that he had missed the clues to a hint that danger had been here recently.

The tent was a small four walled thing that just barely fit Lor, him and the few things that could not chance getting wet. And he saw her sitting on the other side of it facing the fire as she took her hair down. Kyn paused by the backside of the tent to watch her for a moment before slipping silently up behind her to pick up the silver brush and begin to run it through her blonde tresses. "Relax, this will be over soon and there isn't a sign that anyone knows we're coming. Assuming that light forsaken Asha'man doesn't blow the whole countryside up tonight." He glanced up at where she was staring a few times, trying hard to make out something in the distance and finally decided that she was just staring at the border. "It's just another border love, nothing we haven't crossed before."

[U4ea]

Loraine closed her eyes as she felt his fingers in her hair and tried to let the rhythmic stroke of the brush release some of her tension. It wasn’t working, though and she sighed inwardly.

 

"It's just another border love, nothing we haven't crossed before." He was trying to calm her down and any other time she might’ve smiled and let him. Light how she wished it was one of those times.

 

“But it’s not just another border, is it?” she said softly, not opening her eyes. “How long have I fought you about crossing that line, Kynwric? How many years has it been since you’ve been across it? When it’s a fist of trollocs, it’s easy to make your way through. They’re not crafty, they can’t disguise themselves as anything but what they are. On the other side of that border, though… there are no friends across that line, Kyn. No one you can trust. Everyone, even those we consider friendly, would turn us over in a heartbeat to save their own necks.” She opened her eyes and looked at him over her shoulder. “You can call that border whatever you want, husband, but it doesn’t change the very real probability that we’re not making it out of there whole and intact.”

 

She curled her hand over his and stilled the brush in her hair, her voice dropping to just over a whisper. “I wouldn’t cross that line to save our children, Kynwric. But I’m crossing it to save a book. I wouldn’t cross it at any time in the last hundred years when you’ve asked, but I’m doing it now. What kind of wife does that make me? What kind of mother?” She lifted her eyes to his, the burn of tears threatening. “As afraid as I was when Moraine made that gateway, it’s nothing compared to the fear hounding me now. What kind of Aes Sedai does that make me?”

 

She shook her head and flicked her gaze over her shoulder at the camp. “And if I’m questioning all of that, how in the name of the Light am I going to get all of them in there and back out safely?”

 

~Loraine

[Kathleen]

Kathleen sat alone just on the edge of camp. The sun was setting but her worries were just rising. She had distracted herself the whole journey with the battle weaves and lessons. When thoughts of where they were heading came to mind she had forced them out. Now, looking out on the edge of Amadicia Kathleen knew she couldn't put off her worrying any longer.

 

She could keep her emotions from showing on her face, but she was glad she had no warder to worry over her while she felt as scared as she did. That thought didn't last long, she'd rather have a warder with her going in there, able to tell where she was and when she was in danger. Still, not having someone obligated to follow her into danger made her feel a little more at ease. If she had to die then at least she would not take another into death with her.

 

No. She had to stop thinking she would die here. She had faced Whitecloaks before. She had been put through their questioning, or at least what she had assumed was a questioning, and she had made it through. The odds were against her then, and she had survived. She had had help and she had lied then, but she had survived. There would be more of them here, but this time she would have the advantage, even if she was on their land. This time, the whitecloaks hadn't been told they were coming, or where they would be. They weren't expected. At least she hoped not.

 

I am older now. Wiser, and more skilled. I got away from them once, when I didn't have the One Power to use reliably. I've trained now. I have more to protect myself than frightened whips of air and lies when I dare not channel. I fought them and won when they knew who I was and where I was. There are more of them here, but there are more of us than last time, and I am ready.

 

She wished she believed those thoughts as much as she wanted to. She knew she was lucky, and she knew they were a real threat. Crossing that border line, was like picking a fight. She knew she was lucky to have fought with them before and make it out alive, and she was not looking forward to picking the fight this time. There was a chance they wouldn't be noticed. And if they were, at least she had some experience. She was a new Aes Sedai, but she had experience of this before. She never thought she'd be thanking her brothers for sending Whitecloaks after her, but perhaps that experience could help her now.

 

She made her way back to the camp. She couldn't be afraid. She knew she was the party's weakest link, but she had to show them that she was ready to be a Green. She had to show them that she had what it takes to wear that shawl. If that meant she had to stand with a straight back and head up high and march straight into the most dangerous place in this world than that is what she would do. If they could do this, so could she. She would not let them down.

[_Kynwric_]

He stopped, resting his other hand, the one she hadn't grasped on her shoulder and sighed deeply. "Every other time we've discussed this before there has been an alternative. Some other option that kept us from it, now there is no other option. We go in, we get the book and we get out. You can worry about getting everyone else out, I am concerned with getting you out. There is nothing else to do." He slipped his hand free of her grasp to settle it on her other shoulder and began to work at the knots there. "And worrying about it, being scared of it and doing it any way makes you brave and you have alway been the best mother and wife I could ask for."

[U4ea]

Loraine felt the laugh bubble up inside her and shook her head slowly. “Do you know, my dearest husband, that no one in the history of our long relationship has ever once asked me why I picked you?” She lifted the corner of her lips and turned completely around to face him. “I don’t think I could give them a short answer, perhaps that’s why.”

 

She laughed softly and laid her forehead on his chest, her arms looping around his waist. “You can’t even let me be worried about this, can you? Can’t let me feel guilty because you gave up everything you knew to end up with me? And worse, you absolutely refuse to let me take responsibility for myself. I can’t even pick a fight like most other crazed hags, because you would just pat me on the back and tell me what a good job I was doing at it.”

 

“Some day, Kynwric Larind, I’m going to let you have it and there’s not going to be anything you can do to stop me,” she grinned and kissed the underside of his jaw. “It’s just going to have to wait until I’ve finished with White Cloaks and books. Now, are you going to help me braid this mess so I don’t give us away by looking too ladylike for a simple farmer’s wife?” She ran her fingers through her hair and winced when she hit a snag. “There’s a reason I keep it up…”

 

~Loraine

[_Kynwric_]

"No one? Perhaps you can tell me tomorrow while we ride." He left the res of her comments alone for the moment and sighed as he took the brush up again and began to run it through her hair. "Farmers wife, is that what we're playing at this time?" He made a show of looking around the camp. "With this bunch? We'd have been better off travelling under guise of a menagerie." Once he felt he had used the brush enough he began to run his fingers through her hair and separate it so it could be put up in a braid. "This will take a while... and where did you get the idea that Amadacian farm wives wear their hair in a braid?"

[U4ea]

Loraine focused on the problem of sneaking them into Mardecin, since she really hadn't considered how they were going to smuggle this collection of people into the country without drawing too much notice. She sighed, closing her eyes as Kynwric worked the brush through her hair. The easiest way to get them where they needed to go was to split up. Together, they'd draw too much notice. Separate, they'd be able to hide, even if they couldn't find a reason for anyone they happened to pass along the way. Kynwric would be easy enough to explain, most people they passed probably wouldn't even stop him if he kept his cloak hidden. Olmena, too, would fit in rather easily. At least, as long as she managed to keep herself together and not lose control at the first sign of trouble.

 

The dangers would be Rasheta and herself, who would never pass for local Amadacians. Together, their obvious differences would draw far too much attention. Add in the agelessness in their faces that would be impossible to hide to anyone who knew what to look for and it just spelled disaster. Separate, they at least stood a chance of slipping by unnoticed. Together, they may as well start throwing weaves around the second they crossed the border.

 

She took a deep breath and looked over her shoulder at Kynwric. "We're going to have to split up," she said quietly. "There's no way we can make it all the way to Mardecin without drawing notice. Unless you can find another way?"

 

She looked at him hopefully, then sighed, shaking her head. "We need to plan routes that won't give us away. The sooner we do that, the better."

 

Loraine closed her eyes again and let him braid her hair into a long, thick rope, trying valiantly to let the gentle tugging on her scalp ease some of the tension clouding her thoughts.

 

~Loraine

[_Kynwric_]

Kyn slowly worked his way down the length of her hair, putting it up into the braid she had asked for. "The only other way is to invade or trust to luck. So, plan the routes. It is pretty simple, when we cross the border the road is going to fork, send one group down one fork and the other around the other way. It'll take more time for the one heading away from Mardecin so it may be best if the second group waits for a few days here so that we all end up in town about the same time. I'd say we ought to be the ones who spend more time in Amadacia than the others, I at least sound local. This bunch can come straight into town along the first fork and we'll circle around and come in from the other side. I'd plan for it to take us, 5 days. One into Amadacia, 3 to skirt across country to pick up the road and another to be back to Mardecin along that road." He let her hair fall from his hands as he finished with the braid. "I'd prefer it we're you and I alone, but I understand that you don't want Olmena alone. So we can swaddle her up like a grandmother. You're going to need a bonnet though."

[U4ea]

Loraine chewed the inside of her lip for a moment. "The other group will need someone who's familiar with Amadacia, too. Olmena is from Mardecin. As much as I'd like to keep my eye on her, the other group will need her more." She turned around to look up at him again. "We'll need more than two groups, though. The five of them traveling together will draw too much notice."

 

She eyed the camp fire over his shoulder where the smells of someone's hunting trip were beginning to drift their way. "Come, then. Let's get this discussion started so at least one group can get started in the morning." She looped her arm through his and started pulling him towards the fire. "Know of any markets you can take me shopping for a proper bonnet, husband?"

 

******************

They reached the fire and Loraine waited for everyone to gather for the meal before she explained their problem. "The only solution I can think would work is if we were moving in groups small enough to keep anyone who does notice us from alerting the White Cloaks of our presence. We have two people in this group familiar enough with Amadacia to take less direct routes and still reach Mardecin without arousing too much suspicion. The third group, I suggest, takes the direct route straight there. If we stagger our arrivals, we'll be less likely to draw attention once we're there and set about collecting what we came for. We'll need someone to lay low in the city and get familiar with the habits of the White Cloaks and residents, so we're not suspicious in our behaviors, either. Rasheta, Visar, I'd like the pair of you to take that direct route and begin watching the city until we arrive. At most, it should only be a few days after your arrival." She focused on Rasheta a moment a nodded slowly. It would also give her a few more days to locate what they were after, since Rasheta was the only one among them to know what they were actually after. "Olmena, I need you to direct the second group, which will leave at around the same time, but take a less direct route to Mardecin. That should put your arrival a day or so after Rasheta's."

 

"Kathleen," Loraine paused and fixed her gaze on the youngest among them. "I need your eyes and ears open as much as possible on that journey." Loraine tried to convey as much of her concern for Olmena as possible in that gaze. Perhaps she'd need to take a walk with the youngest Green before the evening was over. "Arath, I would appreciate your escorting them. Two women traveling alone in Amadacia would be very suspicious and we can't afford that."

 

Which left only she and Kynwric, but she left that unsaid. They weren't stupid, they'd understand she took the longest trip and the less secure of the routes for herself. "Kynwric believes it will take us five days to arrive in Mardecin and we will be the last to arrive. The first group will leave at daybreak and the last will leave the day after." She took a deep breath and looked around the campfire. "Unless someone else has a better cover story, I suggest we begin making preparations immediately after we finish dinner."

 

~Loraine

[Kathleen]

Kathleen had spent much of the day on her own. She had become used to that part of her life. She was always scheduled to be somewhere as a novice and much of her time as Accepted had been the same, but most of her time since she came to the tower she had been on her own. Some would be loney, and at first she was, but she gotten used to it and now hardly ever crossed her mind. Her time as Initiate had made her start to feel how lonely the world could be on her own again though. She still had lessons to be taught but her time since she was fully raised had almost truly become her own. And as soon as she was done with this Initiate business she knew she would have trouble adjusting to that freedom. As much as she longed for it since she put on the white dress so many years ago, she was uncertain how she would handle the world alone for the rest of her life.

 

She watched Loraine and Rasheta with their warders and thought on whether she would ever take one. She did not want one, simply to have one. She had always assumed there would be one, maybe more, but now, with Amadicia bearing down on her and knowing she had to throw her self into danger she didn't know if she could handle being responsible for leading someone else into such danger. Even though these warders had trained many years for just such things she wasn't sure. But watching those men she realized they had the same drive and devotion to the Tower as she had. They chose to train and become what they are. For her to disregard that would be like someone telling her she could not take on a mission just because she did not start the problem, or they thought it would be too dangerous for her. These Aes Sedai did not string these men around like puppies and force them to follow into danger. If did make it out of this death trap of a mission she would make finding a suitable warder a very high priority indeed. She would not take one just to have one. But she knew if she made it out of this, she would take one.

 

*************

 

Kathleen made her way to the fire for supper. Most of the party was already there but Loraine and Kynwric were not when the Initiate arrived. She made small talk with anyone who would talk and prepared her plate. She felt guilty for eating what she didn't help to provide, but she helped with the food throughout the journey. When the whole party was gathered Loraine began to lay out the plan. Kathleen knew it was coming, and she listened intently. She had to know the plan, and she had to make sure she caught it the first time.

 

The groups Loraine divided them into was an obvious one, but it was the only ones that would work. Sure, to seperate the warders from their Aes Sedai could mean that the different groups would have a relative idea of how close they were to each other, and if there was danger. But Kathleen knew better than to think that would ever be an option. She felt like she was dropped into the misfit group, but she knew that was the place that made the most sense. The most protection.

 

When Loraine spoke to her of keeping her eyes open Kathleen felt like a fool child the woman was warning to keep out of trouble while mother was away, but she picked up on something in the woman's gaze that made her think their may have been more too it. The Ashaman? But Loraine had said she trusted him; could something have changed during the journey? Or did she mean for Kathleen to keep her eye on the Green she would be with. The woman did seem rather distant and often kept to herself, or ran off to scout without saying where she was headed, but surly when they were onto the dangerous part she would keep them more in the loop. Kathleen let out a breath she was holding, she'd have to ask Loraine about it in private, though she didn't want the Sitter to think her simple having missed a clear hint.

 

Kathleen had an excuse handy for is she was caught, but had decided she would wait until they split up to give it out. She may not need to use it as someone else in her group may have a better cover story for why they were in the country. If they all used the same story it could look suspicious if they were caught. If they all knew the story the others were using they could be made to reveal that information. If they didn't have the information to begin with they is nothing that could be done to get it out of them. She felt her stomach knot just realizing she now knew the routes each group was taking. She had made it through a questioning before. She could do it again if needed. She would just have to make certain she wouldn't be faced with it again.

 

Kathleen Vandiar

Aes Sedai of the White Tower

Initiate of the Green Ajah