It was not the beginning, but it was a beginning. [Attn: Boopsy]

[Amadine]

Amadine was sitting in her new room repairing the hem of one of her banded Accepted dresses, she had caught it on a stray nail in the floor on her way back from lessons yesterday afternoon, and she began to get a bit peckish. As she sat and sewed the peckish feeling grew into hunger. As she tied off the thread her stomach growled loudly. Perhaps she would go down to the dining room for a supper of cake and a cup of tea. Her stomach growled loudly again and that made her decision for her.

 

She rose from her chair and hung the dress in her wardrobe, she went to the night stand and spilled some water into  the wash jug and quickly washed her face. She pulled her brush through her hair and slipped on a pair of soft cotton slippers. She checked her reflaction in the small piece of mirror she had purchased this afternoon on her first trip into the city on an errand for one of the Yellow Sitters today.

 

Smoothing her dress she pulled open the door and again marveled at having her own room. Just last week she had been raised Accepted, Ama shuddered with the memories of what she had experienced inside the rings.

 

Closing the door behind her, Ama began to make her way along the corridor that lead to the dining room. Ama heard the sobbing noises before she could see anyone coming. The sobbing grew louder as she continued on her way. When she rounded the next corner she could see Ray-ray coming her way. Her face was tear-stained, her large eyes wide and horrified. Ama realised with a start that Ray was wearing a banded Accepted dress and understood what had happened. Ray-ray had been raised Accepted.

 

Amadine hesitated for a moment, not knowing whether to comfort the girl or not, some just needed alone time. Ama decided that that was a choice she must leave to Regalia, she would offer her comfort and let Ray make the choice.

 

Ama frowned, Ray-ray was coming this way, yet appeared to be in a total daze. "Ray-ray" Amadine called "Are you okay?"

 

Ray-ray looked up in confusion at the sound of her name. "I am Regalia" she relied in an automatic tone.

 

Her eyes seemed to focus on Ama and the blank look was replaced by horror. "Oh Ama!" she cried and the next thing Amadine knew Regalia had barreled into her chest and had thrown her arms around Ama's waist. The tears ran anew and they sank as one to the floor of the corridor with Amadine stroking Regalia's hair.

 

Amadine al'Varine

worried Accepted

[Wayward_fool]

Failure. In her mind, Regalia imagined there could be no greater pain than the pain of failure. Of being instrumental in that failure. It was a shame. To be a disappointment to those who depended on her. All her life she had been carefree, standing in the shadows giggling at the pranks she involved herself in. Never had she faced the pain of failure. It broke her confidence.

 

Worst of all, she couldn’t stop crying. The sobs, would not stop. It had returned with renewed fervor when she left the ter’angreal chambers. She watched the other Aes Sedai accompany the Amyrlin Seat back to their quarters, and a dam broke. She felt like collapsing, but it would not do. It. Would. Not. Do.

 

“I… I failed, Ama… dine. I.. I… I failed so badly.” She spoke through sobs.

 

She felt the other girls stiffen. She took a deep breath and steadied herself. “I could not save them. But most of all, the cowardice I displayed. Cowardice! In the face of adversity! I ran! Like a dog with my tail between my legs.” Tears streamed down her face. But her voice was firm. “I will not fail. Not here. Not in this world. I will leave that behind and learn to be strong. To be firm. To know what I need to do. And. Do. It. As. Aes Sedai.” She cupped Amadine’s sadly smiling face in her hand. “Thank you, Ama.  For this. For always being there. But we will make it. We have to. I know we will make great Aes Sedai. The times are upon us. We are needed. There will be no place in this Tower for cowardice or failure.”

 

With the help of Amadine, they both stood up. Regalia shut her eyes momentarily to calm herself and opened herself up to Saidar. The feeling of life and warmth flooded into her. It felt good. To be able to channel at will and not have to worry about losing control.

 

“We are Accepted now. And soon we will be Aes Sedai.” A smile filled Regalia’s face with wonder. “We will have adventures. We will learn. We will teach. But most of all… we will succeed.” She touched Amadine’s cheek with a soft flow of Air. “So, what do Accepted do these days?” She giggled slightly and hugged her sister close.

 

It was a begining indeed.

[Amadine]

Amadine knelt on the floor,holding her friend while she sobbed and spilled out the story of her arches. Ama made soothing sounds and stroked her hair all the while, tears running down her own face from witnessing Regalia's emotional anguish.

 

After some time Regalia's sobs subsided and she began to speak, a fevour in her voice that lit up her eyes, with tears still streaming, but a strong clear voice she lifted face, looked Amadine in the eye and said "I will not fail. Not here. Not in this world. I will leave that behind and learn to be strong. To be firm. To know what I need to do. And. Do. It. As. Aes Sedai.”

 

Ama pushed a strand of Regalia's hair gently back from her friend's face and smiled, she opened her mouth to speak, to tell Regalia that it would be okay, but she lifted her hand to Ama's face and cupped her chin in her hand and said, “Thank you, Ama.  For this. For always being there. But we will make it. We have to. I know we will make great Aes Sedai. The times are upon us. We are needed. There will be no place in this Tower for cowardice or failure.”

 

Amadine's response was to lift herself from her knees and back up to stand, she took Regalia's arms and helped her gain her footing. As she stood Ray closed her eyes and the glow of Saidar lit up the air around her, the girl was growing stronger.

 

"How are you feeling Ray?" Amadine was still concerned for her friend, she had never seen Regalia respond to anything in such a way, not even the ghastly spankings she had received from the Mistress of Novices after Ray had been caught trying to slip stinging nettles into the bed of a particularly mean-spirited Aes Sedai teacher.

 

Regalia turned to Ama and her smile was filled with wonder, “We are Accepted now. And soon we will be Aes Sedai. We will have adventures. We will learn. We will teach. But most of all… we will succeed.”

 

Amadine's face split into a wide smile, she heaved a sigh of relief, Regalia was going to be okay after all. Ama had been worried she was going to have to take Regalia to the Yellows. She felt a soft brush of air on her face and looked again at Ray who pulled Ama into a tight hug and with a giggle said, “So, what do Accepted do these days?”

 

At that very instance Amadine's stomach protested loudly in a growl that left both girls in a fit of giggles. Ama clasped Regalia's hand and said "Well... Apparently at this moment this Accepted requires feeding," she giggled "Come on Ray, let's go get something to eat, i was on my way to have supper when i found you here anyway."

 

Regalia allowed herself to be lead towards the dining halls, a cup of strong tea would do her good Amadine thought. She wondered what sweet treats the kitchen had been baking today. They entered the almost deserted dining hall and found one of the kitchen lasses to fetch them a big pot of tea and some green currant buns.

 

Ama looked over at her friend, Regalia was lost in deep thought, a look of concentration fixed firmly on her face. "Ray... Ray!" Amadine gave Regalia's arm a sharp nudge with her elbow, "Regalia!"

 

"Wha-What?! I-uh-I was thinking" she muttered

 

Amadine laughed and said "I could see that, but back to the food, shall we eat here, out in the garden by the training yard or back in my room?"

 

Amadine al'Varine

relieved her friend is okay

[Wayward_fool]

Regalia looked around the dining hall. Light, but it was late. She did not realise how hungry she was until Amadine mentioned food. The last sobs had died away, but the memories were still fresh, like raw wounds that seemed to be taking forever to heal. Scabs. There would be scabs. But that had to be dealt with later. Right now, there were more urgent things to deal with.

 

"I don't want to go back to the rooms. There will be a mess yet to pack up. And I..." Regalia's eyes widened at the thought. "I need to move to the Accepted Quarters!" She covered her mouth in horror. "I will need to pack and get the porters and..." Regalia took a deep breath. "Could you help me?" Amadine nodded with a smile. "Good. I think I have things I need to throw away and possibly get some new rugs and things.” Regalia’s eyes brightened at the thought. “I will need to get rugs! Shopping! We need to go shopping. Oh Amadine, I want to go to the town! And shop! And buy things with the gold they give us for being here. And maybe buy some food. Meet some people. And bank in my gold!”

 

Regalia laughed. It was a good feeling. The last vestiges of the night’s horrors melted away into the excitement about being Accepted. She had forgotten how good it was to have slightly more freedom. “I want to make some dresses. Shall we make some dresses? Something blue. Something so pale blue it makes my hair stand out. Like the one Yisharine Sedai had on when she taught us the lesson on Air. And I was thinking of getting one of those earrings. And maybe… no, no rings.” She kissed her Great Serpent ring. “I’ve got a ring enough for me.” She sighed.

 

“Err… Regalia. Eat? Where?” Amadine touched Regalia’s shoulders gently.

 

“Oh. Sorry, Amadine. I don’t want to go back to the rooms. And I think it’s a little late for the Training yard. And I don’t really want to think about Warders right now. Let’s go to that little garden next to the classrooms. They’ve got lamps there. Shall we?” Amadine nodded amusedly and starting walking out of the kitchen.

 

“Where you going, silly?” Regalia laughed and looped her hand around Amadine’s arm. “This way.” And led her to the secret passage in the pantry.

 

And soon the kitchen returned to silence.

 

[Amadine]

Ama giggled as she watched Regalia begin to get excited about shopping in the town. The extra freedom that came with being Accepted was intoxicating after being confined to the Tower for years as a Novice. Amadine agreed to help Ray move rooms with a smile.

 

“You can always share my room for tonight if you don’t wish to be alone tonight Ray, the Accepted rooms have much bigger beds than the Novice quarters.”

 

Ray looked thoughtfully at Ama but did not answer; instead she suggested they have their meal in the garden by the classrooms, the one they kept lit with lamps throughout the evening. Amadine started heading for the door of the dining room with their basket of food over her arm when Ray pulled on her arm and said, “Where you going, silly? This way.” Then she began leading her towards the secret passage way in the pantry.

 

Amadine laughed, “Remember when we got caught in here stealing food? Our bottoms were so sore after that!”

 

The pair of them laughed and reminisced about the pranks they had got up to as they walked.  It didn’t take long to reach the gardens and they took a seat on one of the benches and Ama spread out the food between them.

 

“Ray...” Ama began around a mouthful of food “what lessons are you thinking of taking now that we are Accepted? I want to learn Healing it’s what I came here for, but I think if I want to travel the world I need to learn Daes Dae’mar as well. What do you think? What have you got in mind?”

 

The girls continued to eat their meal in silence while Regalia appeared to be lost in thought for a while. As they finished eating Amadine poured them a cup of tea each from the small thermos. She passed a cup to Regalia and the girl took it gratefully and had a long sip.

 

 

Amadine al’Varine

 

 

[Wayward_fool]

The tea warmed Regalia’s hands slightly. She didn’t feel chilly, but the extra warmth was a comfort. After the ordeal in the Arches, anything that spoke of comfort was welcome.  She took a nice long sip, her thoughts were all jumbled up. On one hand, she loved her newfound freedom, on the other hand Amadine’s question about Lessons reminded her that she still had a long way to go. And that journey towards Aes Sedai was probably going to be a lot easier than what happened after that.

 

“I don’t know, Amadine.” Regalia sighed as she put the cup back on to the table. “There’s just so much to learn. And I feel so inadequate after this evening. I must not fail. And in order not to fail I must learn as much as I can.” She stroked her chin with her finger. “I have to be Aes Sedai. There is no choice. And to be a full Aes Sedai I feel like I have to learn so much.  I feel like my purpose is so far beyond my current reach I need to really stretch myself to the limit.” The other girl’s eyes widened slightly. “No, I don’t mean in terms of channeling. Even if I feel like I could hold on to Saidar forever.” She leaned back a little and shrugged. “I think we need to chart ourselves twofold. First we need to master control over Saidar, then over everything else. Daes Dae'mar or General knowledge, I know I want to learn.” She paused. "Except Logic and Philosophy. The White lessons give me a headache. Last week's lesson on Probability of the Internal Insustainability of Infinite Ruling by Panalpina Sedai, made me want to dig my brains out with a spoon. Not fun. At all."

 

Her eyes brightened somewhat. “I think your idea of Healing’s fantastic. I don’t know how much talent I have in that, but hopefully enough for me to get by. I would also like to learn defensive weaves. I don’t mean to be Green yet, but I doubt I’ll be a good Brown or White. I want to be out there in the world. Moving the scene around. I want to present. To be involved. I want to know that I make a difference. Maybe Blue, maybe Gray, maybe Green. Those three attract me most at the moment.” She frowned. “But I’m quite sure I never want to be Red.” She looked to Amadine. “What about you?”

 

[Amadine]

"Except Logic and Philosophy. The White lessons give me a headache. Last week's lesson on Probability of the Internal Insustainability of Infinite Ruling by Panalpina Sedai, made me want to dig my brains out with a spoon. Not fun. At all."

 

Amadine giggled at the memory of Regalia pulling faces and rolling her eyes while the White Sister's back was turned. It had been all she could do not to burst out laughing at her.

 

Amadine sipped her tea, such a sweet blend. She was enjoying this time with Regalia. It had been difficult, on her own as an Accepted, all her friends still Novices. Amadine had felt so lonely, but here only a week later she had her friend back and Ama was lonely no more.

 

Regalia considered Ama's words on classes and agreed that the Healing classes were an excellent idea. She continued on about Defensive Weaves and Amadine nodded her head in agreement. When Regalia talked of leaving the Tower, to be out in the world Amadine grinned at her, she did not want to be cooped up in the White Tower for all of her existence either. How some of those Brown Sisters spent decades never leaving the Tower Ama did not know.

 

Suddenly, a serious look came onto Regalia's face as she began talking about Ajahs, Maybe Blue, maybe Gray, maybe Green. Those three attract me most at the moment.” She frowned. “But I’m quite sure I never want to be Red.”

 

Amadine shivered at the thought, to be a Red Sister, constantly seeking out men who could channel and gentling them, never to take a warder. At that thought a memory rose in her mind and her stomach clenched, she was remembering her third trip through the Arches, when she had left her beloved Warder, Caedmon, to die while she fled back towards the glowing arch. She was not proud of that moment. With a start Ama realised that Ray-ray had spoken to her, "I'm sorry Ray, what did you say?"

 

Regalia frowned at her and said, "I said, what about you? In regards to your Ajah, I mean."

 

"Oh!" Amadine grinned, "Oh I know which Ajah I will be. I came here to Heal. My goal has always been Healing. I will be Yellow and a Great Healer! But I want to learn more than just Healing; I want to know the Defensive Weaves and Daes Dae'mar too."

 

Ama was excited just by saying her choice out loud. She had never told anyone of her deepest desire to Heal. Impulsively she pulled her friend into a tight hug.

 

"So Ray-ray, the room alongside mine is still empty, would you like to be my neighbour?" Amadine grinned again at Ray-ray, "Shall we go fetch your things from the Novice Quarters? You can stay with me tonight if you still do not want to be alone."

 

 

Amadine al'Varine

Happy to have her friend back

[Wayward_fool]

Regalia shrugged. And giggled. Her heart felt much lighter. She didn’t bother correcting Amadine calling her Ray-ray. She decided some people had been through enough with her to gain that privilege. Her cup of tea was starting to cool down, but she didn’t feel like heating it up anymore. If anything, the events of the night were starting to tire her. And her back ached slightly. And her eyelids were starting to droop a little.

 

“A Yellow, Amadine? I think you would make an excellent Yellow.” Regalia smiled at her friend warmly. “I wonder if different Ajahs work together in anyway. It would be amazing if we were partnered up and allowed to go for missions together all the time. All the time. Would that not be fantastic?” She laughed. “I don’t think I have much energy to move my things right now. And I don’t want to wake the porters to do it.” She sighed. “I think I will go back to my room to change into something more comfortable and then meet you at your room. Or would you not mind coming along?”

 

Amadine scratched her nose and nodded. “I think we could do that. I haven’t much to do tonight and Accepted lessons start far later than Novice’s do. So we can sleep in.”

 

Regalia was thankful at least for that piece of news. “Oh, Ama, you will have to tell me more about Accepted life. There is so much to learn.” Regalia bounced a little in her seat. “Let’s go back to my room and maybe get some things together to stay over at your room. Also…” Regalia frowned. “I will need to wait for Devrion and let her know what has happened. I am going to be your neighbor and can’t wait for that. But Devrion’s been there for me all this while, I feel like I owe her a farewell at least.” She paused thoughtfully.

 

She was not sure she was looking forward to that. In her mind, Devrion would always be a great friend. But the girl had been Novice longer than she had, and Regalia wasn’t sure how long more she would remain that way. “It will be weird seeing our friends along the corridors from this point on. I’m not sure I know how to react if any of them turned up in the classes we have to teach.” Regalia clutched Ama’s hand in hers and they both walked gracefully back to the Novice quarters.

 

[Amadine]

Amadine smiled broadly as Regalia told her she would make an excellent Yellow Sister. SHe was glad that Ray's fun-loving nature was beginning to show through again after the evening's events. Regalia raised, just a week after Amadine herself, and here they were together as Accepteds sipping tea in one of the gardens. Regalia continued to speak about travelling the world together. Suddenly she changed track mid sentence, sometimes keeping up with Regalia's train of thought was exhausting. Amadine giggled as Regalia said, "“I don’t think I have much energy to move my things right now. And I don’t want to wake the porters to do it.” She sighed. “I think I will go back to my room to change into something more comfortable and then meet you at your room. Or would you not mind coming along?”

 

Some kind of flying critter brushed past Ama's face and she unconsciously scratched her nose as she nodded and replied, " think we could do that. I haven’t much to do tonight and Accepted lessons start far later than Novice’s do. So we can sleep in.”

 

Regalia bounced as the news of a change in their lesson types sank in, she was excited to begin her new life as Accepted. Accepted were afforded much more freedom than the Novices were. After all Accepted could be trusted with their ability to channel far more than Novices could. In addition to fewer formal classes, Accepted were allowed to go into Tar Valon proper, no longer restricted to just the Tower grounds.

 

As they rose to their feet Ama collected their cups and placed them back in the basket, she would take them back to the kitchens when they went down for breakfast in the morning. Regalia turned to Ama and said “I will need to wait for Devrion and let her know what has happened. I am going to be your neighbor and can’t wait for that. But Devrion’s been there for me all this while, I feel like I owe her a farewell at least.”

 

Amadine smiled and nodded, telling her own roommate, Knytiri, that she had been raised had been a difficult task. Regalia clasped Ama's hand in hers and together the walked back towards the Novice Quarters.

 

They talked quietly as they walked, of lessons and trips into the city, of freedays and teaching Novices that had been their friends. Neither of them talked about the events that had occurred during their time inside the Arches. Amadine certainly was not proud of her behaviour in that alternate reality. Pia Sedai had said the memories would fade but here she was a full week later and still able to close her eyes and see her Warder dying as she ran. If Regalia's memories remained as strong she would need a friend to lean on in the coming weeks. Ray had revealed the smallest details of her experience, but for the reaction she had had Amadine knew it must have been terrible.

 

As they approached Regalia's room in the Novice Quarters Amadine could see a crack of light beneath the closed door, Devrion must be here and still awake. Regalia motioned for Ama to be quiet and whispered "Sometimes she leaves the lamp on for me, it means she wants to... talk to me and to wake her up."

 

Amadine nodded thoughtfully as Regalia pushed open the door to reveal the sleeping form of Devrion in her narrow bed. Ama had fogotten in a week just how small the Novice rooms were, well not really small, her room in the Accepted Quarters was only a little larger, the difference she realised, was that she didn't have to share it with anyone and one bed took up much less space than two.

 

Ama sat down carefully in the chair in the corner so as not to make it creak while Ray made a small pile of things to take over to the Accepted Quarters. She moved quietly around the room as she fetched out her essentials. When she was done Regalia sat down on the edge of Devrion's bed and shook her shoulder gently. "Devrion" she said in a low voice, "Devrion, wake up."

[Wayward_fool]

It was a strange sort of parting. On one hand there was obviously a tinge of sadness at not being roommates from then on. But on the other hand, there wasn’t much point being down over it since technically they weren’t really parting. Regalia dreaded having to teach lessons with her former Novice friends. Especially those she had really spent time with. People like Devrion.

 

There were tears. Devrion’s eyes held a haunted look that Regalia couldn’t fathom. As tinge of fear that seemed to drag at Regalia. But that was for another time. Regalia knew Devrion had her secrets and she didn’t want to pry too much. The night was passing fast and Regalia had no time to linger. She grabbed a nightcap bag and stuffed some of her things in. Most of it was just for the night before she moved the next day.

 

“Are you alright?” Amadine asked as Regalia exited her room.

 

Regalia nodded mutely and shut the door quietly behind her. She could hear the beginning of sobs from Devrion. But she was tired and in no mood to provide any sort of solace and comfort. “Let’s just go, Amadine. I will deal with things in the morning. I feel like I’ve been kept awake for the last month and my legs are on the last dregs of energy.” Regalia sighed. “In the morning I think I will just get the Porters to move my things. I feel like I haven’t the desire to face Devrion for now.”

 

Regalia clutched Amadine’s hand again. “How do you do this, Amadine? How do you face them in the corridors?” Regalia’s hand tightened around her bag. It seemed like impossible to let go.

 

[Amadine]

“How do you do this, Amadine? How do you face them in the corridors?”

 

Regalia meant of course, how did she face her friends, now that she had been raised and they still Novices. Of course the sad answer was that the gap between Novice and Accepted was far to wide to be breached by the bonds formed to each other by Novices. The Novices were regarded as children.

 

Children to be lead and guided and disciplined as necessary. Accepted were given much more freedom. the freedom to study what they wished, the freedom to visit the city and of course the responsibility to teach those Novices that had once been her friends.

 

Amadine looked Ray, the tears were gone, replaced by a look of resignation. She had been close to Devrion, it had to be difficult to leave her behind. Ama turned and pulled her hand free of Regalia's and instead wrapped her arm around the other girl's shoulder. "I'll not lie to you Ray, it's not easy. Though it helps that they know their place as Novices so well while we learn a new role as Accepted."

 

"I am teaching my first class tomorrow, just basic arithmatic to the girls who have had little schooling, but i am grateful that none of our friends will be in that class."

 

Regalia nodded thoughtfully and said nothing. They walked together, each girl saying nothing, Amadine took her arm away from Regalia's shoulder and instead took her hand in her own. They continued out of the Novice Quarters and onto the Accepted Quarters walking hand-in-hand.

 

As the approached Amadine's door she pointed to the next door along "That one there, that's the empty room, you can have that one."

 

Ama turned the handle on her door and pushed it open, she stepped through with Regalia following and she shut the door behind her.

[Wayward_fool]

The door closed somewhat gently behind them. Regalia sighed and sat on one of the cushions Amadine had strewn on the floor. The room was alot bigger than what Regalia was used to. Even the room she used to share with some of the kitchen helpers before she had enrolled as a Novice were much smaller than this. And of course, her Novice quarters were no where near that, especially because she had to share it with Devrion.

 

"Your room is cosy. Very nice. I shall not be a bother then, go ahead and sleep. I want to meditate a bit and then I'll probably drift off." Regalia hugged one of the pillows to herself. "It's been so long since I slept on the floor, let me do that tonight. Sometimes, the floor is so much cooler than the bed. And after all..." And the whole night collapsed in on her... Regalia tried to smile, but her lips would not stop quivering. It just would not. Light, what is wrong with me? Wha- She felt Amadine's arms around her. Her strong, strong arms keeping her safe. That would have dammed the tears where they came from. But they just would not stop flowing. "Th...the failure. Light, L... Light, what is wrong with me? Why can't I just be strong? Fo... for everyone? For everything. Why?" She gasped in between sobs. ALl she could here was Amadine making comforting sounds and they both rocked back and forth.

 

Regalia couldn't understand it. She could take punishments. Chores. Admonishments. Public birching. Even spanking that made walking difficult. But yet it was the thought of failure. The thought that everything she did was wrong. Everything. Where was the hope in someone like her? A failure? Someone who had to be held and molly coddled. She tried to be strong. But each turn made her weaker and more afraid. More afraid… more afraid.

 

Slowly the sobs diminished. Amadine never let go, and for that Regalia was grateful. She did not think she could face the night alone. She nodded to herself and disentangled Amadine’s arms from her own. She gave Amadine a quick kiss on the corner of her mouth.

 

“I’ll be alright, Ama. Let me rest. The crying has taken the last of my strength.” With Amadine’s help she got out of her banded dress and into her shift. Amadine helped her lay down on the cushions. Regalia smiled. It was good to have someone like Amadine. “Goodnight, Ama. Thank you. Always.” With a yawn, Regalia drifted off to sleep. Tomorrow would be another day. Another adventure. For now, it was time for sleep.

 

((OOC: YAY! WE'RE DONE!))

[Amadine]

*bump*