Calia studied the man in front of her as his gaze slipped from hers. He took a long draw of his water, continuing to look elsewhere. Elessar had told her much of himself and his past this night, opening up about his loss of Leandreen, the rage and near-madness that followed, the subsequent guilt and shame that plagued him always - and the intermittent 'patches' of black mood that still engulfed him from time to time. She had watched flickers of guilt, grief, shame, vulnerability, empathy, pride and strength pass across his face as he shared his thoughts and stories. They had been held back and hidden at points, though plain enough for her to decipher - his stories of losing his Leandreen and other bond-holders, and the feelings that went along with them, were far more familiar to her than he could possibly know. Time and time again Calia caught herself noting how deep and freely he felt things still, this warrior-poet Leandreen had left behind, and that it was taking more effort than usual to keep the walls solid around her own emotions during his sharing. That internal response unsettled her – the number of people and moments that ever affected her thus these days were very, very few and far between. She was managing it somewhat effectively though, she reasoned. And there was, undeniably, something about this man that drew her attention like Ta’veren drew together points in the pattern. What she didn’t know was where her thoughts and threads were most tangled, or what the Wheel was willing for this particular part of its weave. Change direction, or stay the course? She watched with curiosity as the Warder’s dark eyes continued to look anywhere but at her. Those same eyes had shone with what she had labelled firm belief and pride as the gaidin voiced his continued faith in the benefits of a bond, his opinion that the benefits outweighed the risks, dangers - and tears. For all his voice had quietened somewhat with his acknowledgement of the last, he had said 'yes' to her final question with confidence. Yes, he would want and appreciate another bond – if it was to the ‘right’ Aes Sedai. Then he had looked away. Why? *** Straightening her spine ever so slightly, Cal sipped her tea and then set the cup gently back on the saucer. She watched the surface of the drink undulate back and forth despite her attempted care, watched the tea leaves swirling to and fro in the depths of the brew with the momentum that had gathered, just from those simple movements. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction… She resisted a sudden urge to smooth the swaying liquid to stillness with Saidar and instead settled slowly against the back of her chair. Intricate concepts, momentum and inertia, she mused - and she wasn’t just thinking about the tea. For all the blend of ingredients was actually delicious, the shifting liquid and the tousled tea leaves struck her as a perfect metaphor for her newly wavering sense of equilibrium and her current indecision concerning the benefits and drawbacks of maintaining a bond with a warder. Where, she wondered, is the best balance? She didn't know. Is Elesssar right? She didn't know. Do the benefits outweigh the risks? She didn't know that either, but she did know that the risks were ultimately greater for others, and that she now realised she had no right to be the only one making the decisions. The tea really was delightful. For a moment, she settled for an easier decision and course of action. Forgetting the turbulence in the cup for a moment, she took another sip. And was promptly rewarded with several limp, soggy and bitter leaves on the tongue as a result. The irony brought the tiniest of wry smiles to her lips, even as she sucked in her cheeks with distaste. If she had been the sort prone to superstition, she thought, she might have considered taking that as a sign that things would inevitably turn sour. As it was, her thoughts took a more logical focus. Can bitterness ever actually be avoided? If it is a key characteristic of a mixture’s main ingredient, is it futile to even try? She didn’t know. Can one even blend effectively with another, without ultimately being left limp and weak? Does the change in individual parts even matter if the sum of them creates a stronger whole? She didn’t know that either. How do you know what is going to be a potent enough blend? Cal set the cup down yet again, and tried not to sigh out loud. Her thoughts and this metaphor were getting her nowhere. They were nothing short of avoidant procrastination, and she knew it. The real issue, the real answers, the way forward - were right in front of her, all but staring her in the face. *** She looked askance at Elessar, sitting across from her, his eyes still elsewhere. He hadn’t said what characteristics made for the ‘right’ type of Sister, but she could guess at some of the likely traits on his list. For starters, unless he was intending to completely reverse his previous preferences, Calia assumed he would still prefer to be bonded to a Green. Wanting a change would be understandable, given his history, she supposed. He was capable of being truly enraptured with a well-performed ballad or poem, after all. She allowed herself to consider that a similar-minded Brown might do. Then supposed perhaps a Blue who wasn’t afraid to stand up and fight would be an ok match also, given that he had strong principles and was passionate about saving the world and others. But somehow, neither of those options felt as right as a choice of Green for the gaidin in front of her. For all his previous comments about maybe being ‘too old’ for fighting, she had watched the man come alive when he was fighting the Shadow – imbued with an energy that surpassed even his interest in a good verse or story. And his skill, focus and determination were plain for all to see. The Battle Ajah was where he belonged, she thought. After all, he was still alive after almost insurmountable odds. He was still seeking out missions like this one, and more than holding his own. He was the type of gaidin and fighter any Sister would be proud to have by her side – but his skills and the tendencies she had observed thus far were very well suited to the Green. As were his looks, with the repeated winks from waitresses wherever they went to prove it. She smiled recalling them. Plus, he had said himself that he and Calia shared the same vision, standing ready against the darkness. And he was right. The two of them were a good match, and so far as a team, they worked together well - even unbonded. They had been in sync from those first moments of dealing with unexpected thugs in the Tar Valon alley. Chances were they would make an even more capable pair against the shadow, skill-wise, if they chose to bond. And she’d known that all along. *** It wasn’t a question of trust, or skill, or distraction away from fighting the Shadow, really. Elessar had proven his worth time and time again, and she was truly confident in his skill and dedication to the cause. But risking another bonding had been the last thing from her mind, quite deliberately. For so long. Until that stupid mistake with the trolloc by the river. Until she had been forced to admit she wasn’t just as effective on her own. Until now, with Elessar saying it was something he wanted. Now it was more a question of emotional safety and how to minimise the risk for him. She did not want to be responsible for another Warder’s death. She didn’t know if she was willing to risk anyone’s life just to extend and improve the blows she could deal to the Shadow, didn’t know how she could justify the promise of another`s life before hers, how she could stomach to live with the threat of that as truth, again - ever. She closed her eyes for a second, as if the world around her going dark could black out the shadows in her mind. If he truly meant it, if he truly wanted another bond and he was certain that the benefits of a bond were more important than the painful consequences and risks of it ending in yet more tears, one way or another. And if she was the type of Aes Sedai he wanted to bond, it might be worth it. Maybe they could make it work enough to make a difference, and maybe they could make it work without both their worlds coming to a soul-shattering end. Pinning anything on hope was pointless, she knew – in the end there were just never any guarantees, and hope was always too easily shattered. *** "There are indeed risks on the path before us," she said softly, eyes open now, studying his face once more. "I think that is the only thing any of us can be sure is guaranteed, fighting the Shadow…That and the scars borne by those of us left behind." She paused. “On that point, we undoubtedly agree… and thank you for trusting me with your story – and for taking the time to answer the questions I’ve posed to here,” she kept her gaze on him as open and sincere as possible. “I doubt that the scars either of us bear will ever fully heal, Elessar.” Allowing the truth of her feelings to bubble to the surface, she added “- but I’ll have you know that even in your dark mood, you do not act as damaged goods, nor have I ever considered you so. In fact, right from the moment I met you, you have always done yourself, and your brotherhood, credit in your actions and resolve. You have done a remarkable job keeping yourself - and me - alive. Truly, rather than a 'damaged good' you have proven far more like one of those objects some cultures would repair the cracks of with gold, improving strength and flexibility whilst providing proof that the scars of your past have led to further value.” She took a breath to let the words sink in as much as they were able, wondering if he would look at her. After a considerable moment, she let the breath slide back out in a sigh and leant forward once more. *** “Elessar,” her voice was still soft in volume, but it was strong and direct in tone. “I wish I had half of your conviction about the true balance of a bond - If I had, I’d have proposed one to you a handful of days after meeting you in Tar Valon.” Another deep breath. “What you’ve just said, about wanting a bond – with the right Aes Sedai, about the benefits far outweighing the risks and the pain - I’d be lying if I said your words – and your actions to date haven’t given me some hope and an inkling of the same belief. But… I want to be open and honest with you, as you have with me. Your response, as much as I half-expected it would be so, is a frighteningly tempting, bitter-sweet, potentially dangerous mix of possibilities for me to try and swallow.” She lifted the tea and sipped slowly, carefully - trying not to catch any of the leaves. *** She didn’t want him to look at her at all now, she realised suddenly. It was going to be hard enough to speak what was coming next – to illuminate hope whilst highlighting the fragility of it all and recalling the ways it had been shattered in the past. But the words between them had started, and now she owed him her own hidden truths and understanding of the risks, her vulnerabilities. The tea leaves were still spinning in her tea. “You were right in your guess that I have known losses, fighting the Shadow – how could I not have, being Green as long as this? And the more losses I’ve known – the more lives before mine - the more unstable my belief in the worth of the bond has become. And herein lies the problem. I’m one of the strongest Greens alive, Power-wise – but in all my years, I have never shared the unshakeable … ability or belief … of most of my Shawl Sisters to re-bond as quickly as possible after my Warders have died,” the last words were softer than those before, and she sat back, looking at her hands in her lap. “Elessar, the truth is I haven’t had a Warder for many, many years. Until that day by the river – until you were the only thing that saved me – I had been unabashedly and entirely dependent on nothing but my own Power, and an occasional link with a Sister, to strike at the Shadow and keep myself – and others - safe. But like I said, things have been shifting in my mind. And now I wonder if my logic leaps - the idea that bonds form the root of distraction and emotional destabilisation - stand up to scrutiny at all. I wonder if it should be my right to stand between others and what they are driven to see as their duty, simply because I fear it could end in their death.” She swirled the tea and leaves purposelessly around the cup. “Perhaps, rather than serving others in this, I’ve been wrong, and selfish, and simply too afraid to try. Maybe,” she all but whispered before cutting herself off, lifting her chin and voice to start again, “- Maybe that’s because despite my relative strength, I am weaker with dealing with the loss of a bonded, and despite being otherwise brave, I am excessively afraid of being destabilised by the emotions in a bond.” She drew another deep breath, deciding she would be even more open with him than this: he needed to know certain facts to accurately evaluate whether she was the ‘right’ type of Aes Sedai’ for him. “And…Or - maybe it’s because each of my Warders lost to date was so much more than just a Warder. I truly loved them more than anything else - even the fight against the Shadow. And maybe,” her words picked up speed, “maybe that right there was the greatest flaw and biggest reason for my weakness, or maybe it was our greatest strength while it lasted – I truly do not know. I just know that losing them broke me like nothing else, and at points afterwards I near shattered a great many other lives and hopes in the first instance - and not all of them were Shadow.” More aimless swirling of the leaves followed her words. For a while she worked very, very intently on recalling the compassion and gentle strength of her closest Sisters as they held her and her power safe and secure that first time, rather than the terror on the faces around her in the moments before. Then she downed the last of the tea and set the cup on the saucer. *** “I told you when you recited ‘Moon and Star’ that I was married once, to a true love – that I ‘lost my head’ with grief when he died?” she led with a question, but she didn’t -couldn’t- wait for his reaction before continuing. “- Aaran was the third Warder whose life was taken ‘before mine’- to save mine. We were in love for double the amount of time we were bonded and married. I’m- still not sure whether saying yes to him on either count was the best move of my life, or my deepest regret. I do know, however, that his life ended because he was bound - in more ways than one - to save mine, even against overwhelming odds. I am thankful to be alive and still fighting, of course, but I also hate, beyond measure, that he is not." She would have added that she also hated the way it was all her fault for giving in, for saying yes, for not being strong enough to refuse for him forever, for his own good - but the veil over that guilt was slipping, and once the distortion of truth had been considered, she couldn't lie. If there were two sides to every connection, every bonding, then what right did she have to minimise the decisions and interests of the other side, to make a a claim of totality at any point? When she could continue without her voice giving way, she added, “The first two were my older brothers – and they were everything to me, from the moment I was born.” Words like those were never enough to communicate the absolute depth of feelings she’d had, and still had, for each of the three men she’d lost as Warders, she thought. Though her gaze was strictly on Elessar, images of her brothers in their younger years danced through her memory, all but overlaying her true field of vision. Joesh: carrying her on his shoulders through the apple orchards at home when she could barely walk; stopping the wandering paws of many a drunk and handsy patron as herself and Kaylan served up cider, ale or mischief on the late shifts at the inn; laughing at her surprise as he whirled her around in the air with his and Shem's unexpected arrival at the Tower; talking earnestly with her at the White Flame; focused as he concentrated on the forms, half hidden in a field of fog; standing ready at her side with blade drawn and fancloak shifting in the sunlight. Shem: tears streaming down his face, rivers of pure agony while all three of their hearts broke, the pain echoing around and around the bond, amplified to - and beyond - the power of three. Several images blurred so easily with moments of her more recent past and memories composed around the man in front of her now. The talk and meeting in Tar Valon, at the White Flame itself; watching him train in the morning mists of Stelton, from her window of the Red Fox; seeing the whirl of his cloak and his smile as he saved her neck from the trolloc blade by the river… catching the grief in his face, sensing his dark cloud, the reign of pain and tears, descend. Yes, words were all she had for now, so for now, those would have to suffice. She hoped they had been enough for Elessar to understand. *** “Please forgive my arrogance if I am suddenly too personal, or jumping to the wrong conclusions here, Elessar. But now that I have heard your opinion on the bond itself, I would know your true preferences in terms of what you might desire between us, if you will share it? What sort of Aes Sedai would you deem right for you to serve, for example? And now that you’ve heard my reasons for not bonding, could the right sort of Sedai be me?” ‘Well,’ she thought, knowing Neve - and many others - would have conniptions at such a blatant lack of diplomacy in such a situation, but there it was. She had always been direct, not one to beat bushes or speak garlands. ‘There’s nothing like jumping straight into the barrel instead of sniffing first, or sipping with a stalk of hay,' she thought. Her Da had always meant that sarcastically at home, but she preferred overlooking that particular nuance - to her ears, the saying was always better as the truth. “I’m sorry I haven’t asked you earlier to be my Warder, if that is something you would truly desire, and it is something you feel the benefits are worth being bound to, even ‘til death?" She phrased it as a question, just in case. Not that she could, or would lie - honesty was the best policy when it came to both the Oaths, and setting up a solid foundation for any lasting relationship. But the truth she omitted out loud was that she would be far sorrier to have asked and had that question lead to Elessar's death without knowing the entirety of the answer. "I am very thankful to have you in this party, and to have had you fighting so dutifully by my side. As I said, it is essentially the risks of bonds themselves I have doubts about – not you, or your service and abilities. For my part, I see potential strength and, I must admit, much sense in us working together - and a number of ways to bring those together to fruition against the Shadow. One of those ways could be a bonding - if you truly desire it knowing what you now know - and whatever else you might want to ask. But first I want to know what you want, for yourself. “I know that what I want is to fight every battle from here to Tarmon Gaidon to the best of my ability, turn every possible thread of success to the side of the Light. I know that I am headstrong and prone to throw my all at the Shadow given half a chance. I will always analyse risks, but I know I will not always consider my safety paramount – and I know that this would be a danger to anyone who functions otherwise. And for all of those reasons, and those outlined before, I will not ask you to sign your life up to be given away before mine. I cannot." She paused for breath, and to drop the Aes Sedai mask completely from her face once again. Openly she said, “You have already done more than enough, and you owe me nothing. I, on the other hand, owe you anything and everything I am still alive and able to give. Beyond that, I truly respect you, and I would be honoured to have you continue to fight by my side – in any capacity you choose. But the options of how that might happen are open, and I want to do right, and respect your right to direct your life in this matter,” she emphasised those lasts point again, followed by an outwardly steady conclusion - "the decision is yours.” And all of that was true in its entirety, no words of omission. Had he truly meant it? The thoughts were whirling in place of the tea. Did he truly want another bond and was he was certain that the benefits of a bond were more important than the painful consequences and risks of it ending in yet more tears? Worth being bound even tighter to the risk of death when fighting the Shadow? Was she the ‘right’ type of Aes Sedai for him? Could they make a partnership between them work enough to make a difference, without further damage to each other, or their cause? She stared into the dregs of her tea as she waited for his questions or answers, however they might come - and almost smiled. She wasn’t one for superstition, but even still. She could almost believe the way the now-pale tea leaves stood out in a perfect circle of brightness against the dark staining on the bottom of her teacup was a positive sort of sign.

Calia sensed Neve’s head turn toward her, felt the weight of attention as dark Saldaean eyes shifted focus from the road ahead and searched her face as the question hung unanswered in the air. Keeping her back straight and hands loose on the reins in front of her, Cal turned her own head to catch her Sister’s stare. “Well?” she asked, her face carefully neutral. The way Neve’s eyebrows were lifted ever-so-slightly as she studied Cal's demeanour confirmed it wasn’t necessary to repeat the whole question – she had heard the entirety of the spoken words and then some, Cal was certain. Beyond the Blue Sister, Liss kept her eyes deliberately forward, for all Cal’s question had been clearly directed at them both. She was counting on input from both of them for this - all three of them had been keeping an eye on the Warder in question over the past five days or so, and the change in his demeanour would not have gone unnoticed any more than the potential intent behind Cal’s questioning. “Well,” Neve answered, turning her gaze to the group of gaidin riding ahead, her eyebrows drawing downward as she began considering her response, “I have heard of something similar being done… but I do not remember whether that was in reference to an actual act witnessed in our current age, or simply mentioned in history texts. You know as well as I that a true Yellow would likely know more on the subject, and be the best to ask concerning the exact methods in any case - the details are as vague in my mind as the context you seem to propose.” She flicked her attention back to Calia’s face, studying the deliberately-smooth expression as she always had: reading between the lines no-one else could see with open ease. “I am always interested in further discussion though, Cal, and would consider it an honour to offer assistance - should that be possible, and should the request ever be made.” Cal smiled, inclining her head to acknowledge the many layers of the discussion beneath the spoken words, and the generosity of the assistance offered for every level - without the slightest wisp of judgement or a push for more. “Light I’ve missed having you around, Neve!” “I’ll bet,” the Blue said with a twinkle in her eye. “You say that every time though - and unless I’m mistaken, it’s still your choice to keep such distance, and I’ve yet to convince you to stay for good!” “…Even if the benefits are clear!” Liss added with a cheeky wink. “As are the risks!” Cal countered seriously. “For all involved!” Neve nodded her head soberly, “Absolutely.” Her eyes flicked toward Kerin, the depth of her understanding evident in her gaze - not to mention the way the Warder's head suddenly turned back sharply in her direction, a question of alarm and concern in every angle of the move. Liss’ two Warders did likewise. The two women shook their heads almost imperceptibly, and all three gaidin turned slowly back around in their saddles, apparently content to do so, for all each of them still held their every muscle on high alert. Cal sighed, simultaneously grateful for her Sisters’ solidarity and wishing none of them ever need recall the depth of the horror of the events that had proven their understanding and support over the years. Still, it was comforting somehow, knowing these two knew her inside-out and at her worst - and still always had her back, always had her best interests at heart. But still, an unsettled thought wormed its way through her mind as the sun beat down from the cloudless blue sky above, Will that truly be enough against the Shadows of all the battles to come? Calia returned her gaze to the road ahead. She truly didn't know. ** Later, as the party turned onto the dusty road toward familiar Renajhar, Liss sidled her mare alongside Calia’s once more, interrupting the internal contemplation and calculations with a knowing smile. “The risks always exist, Cal, in one way or another. For all of us. Especially those of us who have lived – and live on to fight.” The Captain-General eyed her meaningfully before continuing. “The decision of how you fight on is still yours alone to make, however. Beyond that, Light knows the weave belongs to the will of the Wheel - and you know we will support you either way.” Her voice was steady and matter-of-fact. Cal nodded understanding and thanks as Liss trotted forward, both of them lifting their hoods against the chill from the Blight that was nipping at their necks as they entered the village. She sat straighter in her saddle, shifting her brain back into gear and using the remaining time to plan the tasks she had ahead of her this evening – namely a contact to follow up and a report of anything relevant to the Captain General, followed by a much anticipated bath and an aforementioned hearty meal. There was no use chasing her own thoughts round and round in her head before then, in any case. Only then would she be able to regroup with Elessar, Light willing, and ask the questions she wanted answers to. ** It took until after the meal, and a quick chat with Neve - who had confirmed via Kerin that Elessar’s poetry book had made an appearance in their down time - for Calia to decide she would, in fact, attempt to reconnect with the man whose dark cloud seemed to have lifted, and get to the bottom of the series of questions and doubts that were plaguing her mind. She smiled when she looked up to find him approaching, his dark eyes squarely on hers as he gave his practiced Warder’s bow and politely requested a seat in her company. “I want to apologize for brushing you off the other night,” he began, “It was disrespectful. I was ..in a dark mood. It was a bad day. I am sorry.” He glanced at the table, away from her face, hiding shadows of shame as he talked. “Elessar.” Cal kept her voice direct but understanding, leaning towards him and daring to reach a hand across the table to cover his briefly. “Thank you for your apology, though I am quite certain there was no disrespect taken or intended – the mood and the rough day was obvious.” She lightened her tone, “Or rather, the rough five days,” she emphasised. “Sincerely,” she held his gaze along with his hand, “I am sorry they struck you down so, and that nothing appeared to help but time. You weren’t wrong, in any case – and you don’t really need to apologise! And... I am here if you care to talk to me a little bit more about what was going in the days afterward?” Her blue eyes burned with concern and her own level of understanding as she searched his own dark eyes and waited for his response. ... “Truthfully, I would be dead if it wasn’t for you,” she offered quietly some time later, keeping her gaze intently on his, hoping her sincerity showed through. “I know I thanked you afterward, but since then,” she sighed, “– I can’t seem to make up my mind on the line between the stuff of nightmares and the stuff of dreams! When it comes to the Aes Sedai-Warder bond, the risks and consequences of connected bondings seem so impossibly high, on every side." Her voice shook ever so slightly. "And I can’t argue the logic that bonds end in tears. Or be confident the risks are worth it! Knowing you’re unbonded - and at least part of the reasons why - I figured you, of all people here, might understand that part of it all, at least... But. The growing rumours of Shadow rising … our experiences on this trip to date … Now I can’t stop wondering if I haven’t been increasing the risks of failure somewhat? And I've been hoping your understanding and insight might be helpful in discussing various points and balances for and against, if you'd care to share other thoughts?" She paused. "Would you consider a bond again, for example? Given the risks of inevitable darkness and tears?"

Cal inclined her head smoothly and somewhat slowly. An automatic and practiced nod in outward response to Elessar's respectful Warder's bow, the motion gave away nothing about her inner reactions to his answer or his mood. Those - like her rapid snap of attention to the quietness of the man's words, and the effect of her pulse subtly picking up pace at the sheathing of his sword - were juxtapositions of the sort she had long ago learned to shield entirely from the awareness of outsiders, regardless of how perceptive they could be. Light, with more than a century's experience behind her smooth Aes Sedai face, regardless of how perceptive she could be - sometimes such masking even helped her hide her inner feelings from herself. That was a talent. The 'critical key to maintaining focus and balance - unequivocally and constantly essential to life in the shawl'. She had been told that, once, as a Novice. And many, many times as an Accepted in the Tower. And again, and again, as a younger woman raised to the shawl. And then again even as a moderately aged woman by normal standards. Without question, that had been the Aes Sedai norm she had most vehemently debated in those 'younger' years (... one could and should mask things from others, when necessary; maintaining outward appearances at times had merit- BUT - life was meant to be lived for the learning granted through experience! And what was 'experience', ultimately? - FEELING!) - she could still remember that passionate defence - believing, wholeheartedly, that what didn't kill you made you stronger; arguing that it was an enormous 'risk and waste of the ageless potential' for Aes Sedai to go about only 'really living' part of their lives. It was somewhat ironic that she now lived by the opposite motto, and gave her students word-for-word that same age-old advice. Eventually though, she had learnt and experienced enough to know better. By now, she knew all to well that feeling some of life's experiences wrought only physical, emotional, spiritual and situational chaos, draining, destabilisation and burden. And she was beyond sure that Aes Sedai entertaining such dangerous feelings at full range resulted in 'risk and wasted potential' magnitudes greater than encouraging a somewhat distant norm ever would. She knew how easily feeling certain events could consume or cripple even the most powerful of Sisters, how quickly and completely they alone could bring her - and so many things in the world around her - to her knees, or worse. And just how far from the purpose of 'standing ready' against the Dark One that could be. No, an Aes Sedai's life was not about feeling her own experience. The benefit to their longer lives lay only in the opportunity for extended awareness of pitfalls to avoid and actions to take to ensure the foundations on which one eventually stood ready against the Dark One were as unshakable as possible. It may have taken her a long time to really understand and accept those truths and settle her focus, but as the decades of her life had continued to roll by, the ability to mask emotions and shield herself from further feeling had become a talent she was grateful for. Not that it required her century-plus of life experience to recognise the deep and brooding darkness driving the Warder's countenance tonight, or the danger one such as he could pose to himself and others in the vicinity. And not that she felt a need to hide her awareness of... any of that from Elessar. With her focus fixed firmly on the retreating form, Calia's blue eyes searched the gloom around the Warder as he walked away, her mind carefully calculating the evidence and effects of his mood in his wake. She squeezed her eyes shut for an instant as Elessar sank into his bedroll, his sharp warrior's form made blurry amid the darkness and the shadows surrounding him in more ways than one. She hoped the night would be kind. Tears and inner demons were so much easier to deny, if only one could manage to secure good sleep. Shield or no shield against unstable feelings, she felt for him. The shadow which had passed over his visage, and stayed there, had been decidedly heavy. The words he had uttered had been both more blunt and more cutting than she was used to hearing in his voice. The bitter release of the final twin truths of memory and thought had hit hard, stabbing deeply at both of them - like a double-ended spear. With a slow, determined sigh, Cal smoothed a ragged release of caught breath from her aching chest. There was was no mistaking the exact type of tears the gaidin had referenced. No missing their particular mark in the deeply etched tracks of torment and sorrow across his weathered face. No avoiding the way they welled without limit in the icy cloud of his mood. ... No denying the absolute evidence and inevitability of their existence. Or the often extreme difficulty of packing them all up and keeping them at bay. Not when they were something you'd ever seen on a Warder's face before. Not when spying such cracks in another person's façade was just like looking at your own broken reflection in a mirror. Some such truths still managed to sting, however much one otherwise managed to hide the symptoms. With fierce determination, she put a thorough freeze on all feelings and dismissed all conscious thought. Calling her decades of practiced distance into action, she made a concentrated effort to block out every clear and confronting indicator of previous experience and painful truth she had been almost sure she was ready to to mask past and rationally manage to avoid. It didn't exactly work as planned. 'Because he isn't wrong', ripples of recognition, experiential understanding and caution echoed through her head and heart. "So?" she asked herself out loud. She suddenly squared up both her shoulders and her chin. She had blocked out more than just the signs of grief and loss and tears before. Recognising the signs like she just had wasn't weakness - it was a strength that could be played to one's advantage. 'Plus,' logic argued on uninterrupted, 'Forewarned is forearmed.. And there is still no denying the actual benefits of a bond.' But was it worth it? She wasn't sure. As soon as she had allowed her mind to open back up just enough to consider the possible benefits of bonding, she had been driven to discuss the each of the merits and drawbacks matter-of-factly with Elessar, and no-one else. Of all the Warders here, he was likely to be the one whose experience most closely matched hers. Yet Elessar's response tonight had only emphasised the risks - drawing attention to his natural vulnerability, tearing at her own hidden scars. And, it had highlighted a side of him she hadn't seen before. * * * She was still worried for him, and a little for the rest of the party, Cal realised as she settled into her own bedroll several hours later. It was as if she could sense the storm of emotion in his very being, even if she was working hard not to feel it. She wasn't sure if that was because of like recognising like, or because she was projecting. True stability in a broken-bonded Warder was an unlikely thing, she knew. Still, her gut suggested Elessar had the ability to manage his dark storm of feelings relatively well, or at least safely - for all it was rare that a broken-bonded Warder could do so successfully. She reminded herself frankly that this man had, after all, managed to survive to here - and not just surviving the almost-insurmountable, but continuing to work effectively - applying astute enough insight, skill and reliability to actually impress her on a number of occasions, and even going so far as to save her life. He could be expected to pull through once again, she was almost sure of it, and the odds were much more a matter of not if but when. All the same - or perhaps because of that reasoning - she had resolved to pay careful attention to him over the next few days. She would give Elessar all the space she suspected he might need, within the bounds of reasonable safety, and also make it clear that she deemed any opportunity to share his company, skills and conversations valuable - leaving the prior invitation to spar wide open. Then, when he was ready, they could at least attempt to pick up where they'd left off. The thoughts she had before falling asleep were that, perhaps, together they would be able to decipher whether the tears really were inevitable; whether the risks and consequences of connection were too great, and whether they could possibly avoid the scars and torments from their past enough to march together on a mutually stronger path. And where, exactly, the line between the stuff of nightmares and the stuff of dreams truly lay.

Fantastic! Do you have a character arc/story idea in mind that you'd like to play out with Laith at this point, Qstar?

Awesome! I'm just starting up in a group, looking forward to it! And yes to pbp définition, have read through a few games on other sites, and seems like it would be fun to try and incorporate somehow here - potentially even better as I feel the creative writing quality would be higher... just have to figure how it would all best come together...

Hmm, and by 'Malier' I mean 'Malkier' obviously! @CaddySedai are you interested in running something for it? @Jagen Sedai - have you ever played tabletop RPG, or play-by-post with mechanics other than the way we traditionally do it here (eg with dice rolls/challenges etc)?

Nestled neatly between a wide river bend and the beginnings of a lush, expansive plain, the Tower party's camp stood ready for the evening. The Black Hills were well and truly behind them now. Ahead, the rolling landscape had begun to plateau out, and the taller vegetation alongside the tributaries and roadsides was noticeably thinner - sure signs that the Plain of Lances would soon be underhoof if they managed to keep up the daily pace. It had been an easy, unanimous decision at midday to stop where they were and set up camp, allowing themselves a half-day of rest and the horses additional grazing while the going was good. Some distance away from the bed rolls and cookfire, those who weren't still attending to horses or out hunting were deep into various sessions of training. Calia stood with Neve, Emine and their Warders; Mikael and Kerin. A white net of Spirit shone around her, bright and glistening even in the full light of day. Breathing deeply and slowly, Cal closed her eyes ever-so-briefly, and nodded briskly at the sisters before her. The nod was all it took. The shining weave dropped abruptly and melted into her skin, instantly smothering her ability to touch and draw Saidar. The moment the shield was in place, Cal severed her focus from the wave of despair and suffocation that always came with this exercise. There was no preventing the onset of that wave; the awful feeling of threads suddenly snared mid-stitch. No matter how much she trusted Neve and Emine, no matter how often the three of them practiced, no matter how many times she had experienced this, or how ingrained and automatic balanced breathing and self-regulation was for an Aes Sedai of her age: being shielded and separate from the source was always dangerously devastating. Like being on the surviving end of shattered Warder-Sedai bonds, shielding brought with it a wave of destabilising feelings. Always. Lately, Cal had found the wave of feeling harder to shut down - Still-vivid memories of riverside hopelessness frayed the edge of her focus each time she released or was buffered from saidar. It wasn't impossible to cut the feelings off, but it was more difficult than it should have been. They were dangerous, these creeping feelings; she knew. The more they lingered, the more she pushed them further under her blanket of control, separated them from the focus of the training. No excuses; in every instance, that first moment of emotional control was crucial - and mis-management was unacceptable. Failing to block out the ripples of the initial shock-wave of emotion meant trying to hold a single thread of sensibility through an enormous tsunami of feelings. That was a near-impossibility that could lead to disaster for the Sedai and everybody counting on her. Calia had decided many years ago that she would not risk the safety of herself, the others, the balance of any battle or the effectiveness of their work for the Light entertaining such emotions. Control and dedication - that's how one stood ready. She shoved hard against the block in front of her - it shifted but didn't budge. She hadn't expected it to: she was strong, but not strong enough to break a shield maintained by two. It was part of the training drill, however, so she did it anyway - once, twice, three times. And then she sidestepped around the Sisters to face their warders. Now the objective was to test her agility and ability to avoid danger on her own two feet if she ever found herself without access to saidar again. Today she was the last of the Sisters to work through the drill; and as usual, she was the only one among them to be tackling it solo. Train as you mean to fight and all that. She let the thought slide around. If she had still been bonded, her warder or warders would have been by her side, and she wouldn't be tackling any of this solo at all. If... Fixing her sights on the target tree behind the two warders, she opened her eyelids as wide as they would go without distorting the rest of her vision. She calculated a potential path and sprang forward, eyes on the closest warder in his fancloak as she shifted to a sprint. Kerin's shoulders twitched tight a split second before the makeshift staff he held jabbed forward, aiming at her chest with the speed of a striking snake. Cal jumped back and to the side with a snick of silk pants and a scrunch of leaves underfoot. The stick was coming for her other side in an instant. Her left boot gouged a fresh mark in the earth as she reacted - shifting her weight rapidly and reversing her initial manoeuvre to lunge in the opposite direction. And then the stave-stick was swinging back around - an arc at head height this time. Bending at the knees and waist, she threw her upper body backwards as quickly as she was able. Even as the stave whistled over her head she frowned and made an internal note that she really needed to work more on her flexibility. Third and final attack from Ker! she counted, beginning to right herself. Now Mik - Almost there! Except...the next thing she knew, there was a relatively gentle tap to the front of her shoulder and a good-natured chuckle beside her - and she found herself tipping irretrievably backwards and landing abruptly in the dirt. And balance, she added to her mental note - she also needed to work more on balance. Mikael grinned at her and extended a hand down to grasp her forearm and help her up. Kerin took the other arm in a similar fashion. "Duck from the knees next time," Mikael suggested, demonstrating a fast squat and lunge forward. "Leaning backwards is... bad," he pointed out, still grinning as Calia dusted off the back of her breeches. "It might just save your head in the first instance," Kerin noted, leaning on his staff then swinging it slowly in an arc that mirrored the one she had ducked with the backward tilt, "but it's a very slow move that is difficult to flow out of -" "-and very easy to overwhelm past tipping point!" Mikael grinned even wider and tapped her lightly on the shoulder with minimal force again to demonstrate just how little pressure had been needed to send her into the dirt. "Definitely better to duck from the knees if you have to get low." Cal nodded at the both of them, and swiftly knocked the dust from her palms with a double clap. "Ok then - again!" she announced - she needed to be better than this. Determined, she turned and headed back to the start. *** "Right, agai-" "Calia!" Neve cut her off with a laugh, "it's nearly sundown, and we've been at this for hours - so no, not again! Today was supposed to be about rest, I'm stealing Kerin back now!" Cal planted hands on hips, puffing slightly. She'd mastered the quick squats and lunging up out of the way now - they definitely suited her better these days than the backward lean - but there was still plenty to practice! She respected where the Blue was coming from though. She turned her gaze questioningly to Emine and Mikael, head tilting to the side. "Not a chance, Cal!" Emine slid past her with a cheeky smile, walking backwards and spreading her arms wide as she continued, "You know I don't mind sharing, but," she took Mikael's hand and dragged him along, "Em's right, and it's time for a bit of relaxation! And ... perhaps ... for you to get your own toy-boy again!" she laughed and ducked away from the scowl Calia sent her way. The gaidin each grinned, raised their arms in farewell and followed their Sedai. Calia stifled a groan and sat herself down neatly on a nearby rock to catch her breath and watch the others depart. Liss walked past, Malik and Taysun in tow, and patted her shoulder, eyebrow raised in an expression that could only mean, "Think about it, Cal." Cal looked away. Her gaze swept past several of the other Gaidin nearby, practicing swordforms in the fading afternoon light. As always, she found it a warming sight to see. "The dancing is sweeter on the edge of a sword..." the Arafellin saying echoed through her mind, as always, in Aaran's voice. Cal closed her eyes, remembering; allowing the memories of the past to sweep her focus away from the here and now. ... They had been actually dancing, the first time Aaran Metsar had uttered that saying to her, followed by, "you know I want to dance on the edge with you, forever." His large eyes had locked to hers and searched her soul, the bells in his braids had jingled softly as he shook his head, smiling wistfully at whatever he saw. "You can't deny we make a good team, Cal," he had said, with a laugh - and he'd been right, even if it took her another five years and a stay with the Aiel to come back to the Tower and admit it to him. But she'd been right too: eight years later they'd danced their last dance, the shadow he'd spared her from being quicker than his sword - and it had hurt every bit as much as she had feared - again - and then some. She had nearly come unravelled completely after that, only she couldn't let him have died for nought, so eventually she'd continued to dance, alone. ... Toying with the wedding band on the long string of leather around her neck, Calia wondered about the sense and logic of it all. Could there be a bond without weakness, distraction, breaking? She had managed it, once, five years after Aaran, holding a bond with a young Warder for two years and a single mission, until the Sister he truly loved and wanted to serve had gained the shawl. That arrangement had worked well enough, and the mission had certainly been successful. There was no denying the advantages of adding a link or bond, and a skilled Warder's sword to the use of saidar in most situations and battles. Without a doubt, there was something about it that helped one stand ready, and she knew it helped the warders too. But - her heart ached; with the vow of their life before hers, it also helped them die. Still, Liss' recent looks encouraging Cal to think about all this weren't wrong, for all Calia had tried to avoid the direction and subtle order in them. There was no doubt the Shadow was stirring again, and they had no real idea of what they might all be coming up against in Saldaea. Might it be best to fight with a bonded Warder at her side? She stood up from the rock and stretched, eyes flicking towards the group of gaidin. She couldn't help but wonder if Elessar was amongst them. The man was dedicated to his training and purpose, Calia had noted. "Ever ready to fight the Darkness," he had said - and he'd proven himself thus when she'd been distracted, and he'd saved her life. Both times she'd healed him after battle, she'd felt a wash of fatigue that might not have been there if he'd been held in a bond. He knew the pain of broken bonds, though, she knew. Perhaps his independence was as deliberate as hers... Would he want to be bonded again? Was that something she could offer him? For all the amicable chats they'd had so far on this mission, and the kinship she'd felt developing, she wasn't sure of the answers to either of those questions. She suddenly knew there was, however, only one place to start... *** "Will you spar with me, gaidin?" she asked when she found him. And directly after, blue eyes locked onto his dark gaze: "Tell me your current opinions on the Warder-Sedai bond?"

Nice work @Qstar ! I expect @Jagen Sedai will be along shortly with approval/further questions etc. Any ideas on what you might to rp/have Laith working on first? Let us know if you have any ideas/need of other players to join in!

Oooh, what year did you join ( @CaddySedai)? I was around back in the early days too, mostly RP in the WT/Warders/Band from '99 or so, with a break a few years in. The duration of your chat RP is truly impressive! Nothing wrong with a good wall of text 🤣 I hear you on the differences, though I've never done chat-based, the original DM days when everyone was online at once could be pretty rapid! I miss those days, and honestly believe good forum rps can also run without loss of character agency, just takes thought and careful weaving! Would you have any interest in starting up or joining a thread in either of the RP streams here? I.e. running, or playing a temporary/permanent character, maybe in in the 'fall of Malier' type setting you mentioned before? I for one would love to see it happen, and would be happy to play/help/setup any way you'd like!

Have you played RPGs or similar in real-time or play-by-post settings before @Qstar and also @Siera and @CaddySedai? Like Kathleen said, there's also the option of shorter-term adventures here now (in the Portal Stone/One-shot) that don't require super in-depth bios etc to play and could a fun intro/way to start out! Loving the idea of a 'Fall of Malkier' type adventure too @CaddySedai - would you like to run one? 🤔🙂

Good effort - there's a lot of info there! (Don't be too scared by it all though!!) You mentioned being drawn to creating a Warder character for NBRP? When you think on it, are there any inklings on certain personality traits/ quirks/ appearance features/ points on backstory that get your creativity buzzing? Best tip I have at that point is build the character up from there! Then flesh out the info under the bio headings (see spoiler) from Jaegan's post here (She's a master bio-checker, after all - she knows her stuff!). And if you find yourself stuck or stalling with anything in particular, start a question post in the OOC boards/ DM staff and we'll be around to help (we don't bite often!).

Handy Links/Resources Know of relevant resources and links that would be great to have pinned? Go ahead and post suggestions in the main OOC board!

Starter Guide - Game Players More information will be coming soon But if you want to play, go ahead and get started on your adventure using info from the FAQs! Your GMs and board staff will be happy to help you out!

STARTER GUIDE - GAME MODERATORS Welcome, future Mods! All you have to do to start the adventures is create and manage posts as below: 1. Recruitment/Moderation threads (on Main board) 2. Game Thread (in IC Campaigns) (See Spoilers for Specific Details) Recruitment Thread Moderation/Action Thread The Game Thread *** Go ahead! Get started! We can't wait to see the wild adventures in these parts of the boards take off! REMEMBER As long as the game fits with Dragonmount's Guidelines and Code of Conduct, there are no limits to the type of PbP game you can run as a Campaign... If you have further questions, DM @Cass, and/or post here RP staff are about on a regular basis and will be happy to help you out.

FAQs What are 'Portal Stone Adventures / One-Shot Campaigns'? What type of story/role-playing systems can be played here? "The Pattern has infinite variation... and every variation that can be, will be."2 How does it work? How do I join/play? What do I post Where? (summary) I have more questions, help!

"The Lines that join the Worlds That Might Be, laid by those who knew the Numbers of Chaos." 1 Welcome home to Dragonmount's newest option for Roleplaying! - Portal Stone Adventures / One-Shot Campaigns - Table of Contents 1. FAQs 2. Starter Guide - Game Moderators 3.Starter Guide - Players 4. Handy Links / Resources 1. The Wheel of Time Companion (2015), 'Portal Stones'.

Cal!" This. The flash of light vanished, and shadows - physical and metaphorical - rushed in. Dread and desperate instinct dragged her down, drew her dagger and turned her head away from the call. She dropped and spun low, low, low as she dared, her mind reaching hard for the untouchable flow of Saidar all the while. Darkness. Dim afterimage; Fade. Ironi - Blade. Heavy. Blood. Dripping. Stink. Trolloc. Mis - A sudden CRACK and GROWL! The negative afterimage of the Eyeless still burned a black haze over her direct vision, but there was no mistaking the breath of the blade above being deflected just past her ear! Or the sounds of growling, grunting and hot, heavy-weaponed melee - just over her head. She wasn't dead! She half-spun, half-rolled out and away from the trolloc with more surprise than mastery or grace. And then Saidar SLAMMED back to her command. She stood and drew the light to every fibre of her being. With the Fade-image cleared from her sight, and the high-definition provided by Saidar, she watched her defender side-step wild slashes from an enraged and bloody trolloc. It was Elessar. Of course it was. He cut quickly and deeply, dropping the beast to the ground with a graceful swoop inside its guard and blow to the head. The gaidin's gaze swept back to her as the shadowspawn fell. She caught the smile of relief that crossed his face and grinned gratefully at him - she wasn't dead! In fact, she was very much alive. The shadows rushed on. Above them Air and Fire and Spirit whirled in flow after flow, attack after attack. Above that, the Moon and Stars shone against the night. Calia, with Elessar close by, turned to fight. ● Cal sat astride the bay mare, back straight, blue eyes scanning the path and skies ahead, her mind running through the battle debriefs and discussions from the past few days. "Not being aware enough to notice that trolloc was a stupid, foolish mistake to make! A Novice error!" she had vented at Lissinda in the aftermath, considering her near-beheading for the umpteenth time and entreating her Captain to enter the debate. "Perhaps." Lissinda had always known better than to bite on Calia's hooks when she was in this mood. And so, her friend had simply raised one eyebrow ever-so-slightly while holding Calia's gaze, and let the silence grow without distraction. They both knew she was no Novice. That she had lived, experienced, fought, survived and endured far too much for that to be the case; and that, truly, this was the crux of Calia's problem. That there were other problems - like being human with human vulnerabilities - to blame. And that there were other solutions and possible issues to debate here. Calia had looked away first, pressing her lips into a tight line. "More training in hand-to-hand combat should help," she'd announced. And then she'd committed to and followed-through with practice in the mornings and evenings, every day since. But she still hadn't gotten the trolloc, Elessar's blades and small smiles, or that one look from Lissinda out of her head. ● The sun was well into the West when Calia settled into the patterns Joesh had taught her for the day, but she didn't let the fading light deter her. She smiled at Elessar as she noted him coming into view. He'd ensured she still had a chance to fight, and for that she was already eternally grateful. She wondered what he made of her 'new' training rituals, and grinned to herself. She hadn't really had a chance to talk to him since the river battle, other than during simple healing, but she had made clear her genuine thanks. She eyed him closer for a moment, thinking that he likely had a few tips tucked away from his years of service. "“We share the same vision”, he had said, nights ago now, a small smile on his face, eyes sparkling. “We are ever ready to fight the Darkness. We stand ready.” Well, so far he hadn't been wrong! In any case, she was determined to work on being stronger, better, faster, every day from here - however she could. No more near-misses, no more mistakes.

Name: Thayetta Luin Age: 14 Place of birth: Four Kings, Andor. Physical Description Hair: Light brown, chin length bob. Eyes: Blue, large and wide. Skin: Fair, with a sprinkling of freckles over her nose Height: 5’1” Voice: quiet/timid Other: Dimples in her cheeks and ‘Crow’s feet’ wrinkles at the corners of her eyes when she smiles. Personality Thayetta is inherently brave, and has a strong inner will and sense of duty, but outwardly she is quiet, gentle and shy to a fault. This is partly due to age, and partly due the fact that she has been raised a protected, only child. She may develop a stronger outward attitude as she grows, although it is likely that she will always prefer sidelines to centre stage. She loves children/babies and small animals and, oddly enough, fire. It is likely that her love of fire will show/grow with her as she learns to channel. Special Skills: Quick reader, almost photographic memory, especially for faces and names. Knowledge Weakness: The grown-up/real world. Thayetta has been rather sheltered by her parents and has spent most of her life with her head in a book. Physical Weakness: Height, or rather, a lack thereof. History Thayetta Luin was born the only living child of Amelie and Joem Luin, in Four Kings, Andor, and it was not for want of her parents trying. Raised in the background of the inn and alehouse that had belonged to the family for generations, her childhood was (purposefully, at the wishes of her father) very different from that of the girls in the family before her. She never wanted for attention from her parents, but she was very sheltered from the life that broiled on around them. The alehouse was off limits on pain of scolding - or worse, bringing her father a heavy sadness - and she was strongly encouraged by both her parents to keep away from any guests of the inn. She was not made to work in the kitchen, or tasked with the cleaning out of rooms. Rather, she was in charge of mending drapes and cushion and odd things here and there, all in the privacy and shelter of the master house – the floor above the entrance to the inn. Oddly, somewhere along the line she picked up on a natural talent for recalling the names, voices and faces of others, clear as day in her own mind, even when she had only seen or heard them for the slightest of seconds. To keep her occupied whilst they worked (her mother in the inn and her father at the bar) Amelie and Joem taught Thayet to read at a young age, and from there bought and traded her books whenever and however they could - adequately censored and innocently appropriate books, of course. As a result Thayetta developed into a bright, well-spoken, but timid and quiet child, with an inordinate sense of right and wrong. From the age of five or six years old, her duties expanded to minding the children of her parent’s staff. She developed a natural affinity for babies and young children. At night once the young children were asleep and her chores were done, Thayet’s favourite thing to do was sit at the table, a book in her hands and lantern burning bright within her reach, and read, or stare studiously into the flickering flame until she fell asleep. A month before her fourteenth name day, Thayetta half sat, half lay at the familiar, worn oak table, doing exactly that - staring at the flickering, dancing, dimming flame, her head resting heavily on her outstretched arm. Her book lay closed on the table beside her. It was late, and she was almost asleep. Her mother would be up from the inn soon, she thought, since no further guests would be likely to arrive tonight. Or would they? The cadence of two ‘new’ voices drifted upwards from amidst the quieting mumbles of guests downstairs. Thayet stared intently into the flame and strained her ears, trying for a moment to match a face or name to either of the two voices she could hear conversing with her ma. Nothing came to mind. She dismissed them as strangers she had yet to meet and went to sleep. She did not hear the new voices - or even glimpse the faces they belonged to - at all during the next day. Until early evening, when there they were again! Talking to both of her parents this time. A man, mostly silent, and a woman - with a strangely calm but strong, authoritative, voice. They didn’t speak long, but as they – and their voices - faded into the quiet din (likely heading to the dining room for supper, Thayet thought), she caught the words ‘Channeler’, ‘search’ and ‘Tar Valon’ coming from her father’s lips. She shivered, although she wasn’t really - or even remotely- sure of the reason why she should. At dusk the next evening she heard them again, the voices. This time quietly accompanying their owner’s footsteps up the lane towards the inn. Curious, but careful not to be too obvious, Thayetta paused briefly in her task of lighting the lanterns at the door, and looked carefully down the lane towards the sounds. The pair belonging to the voices looked normal enough at a distance, but even from where she stood, solidly perched on an ale box, she could tell that these guests were like none she had ever met before. Again she shivered slightly without really knowing why. The man was huge, and muscly, and had the presence of a rolling mountain. The woman was average in height and build, but somehow she seemed stronger even than the man. It was the woman that made her… nervous. Quickly, Thayet turned her attention back to the lantern immediately in front of her as the pair approached. Not really wanting to be noticed, she lit the wick and deftly coaxed the flame, staring at it momentarily to calm her nerves before jumping down and walking smartly to the box and lantern on the other side of the door. She kept her head down, lit the second wick and turned up the flame. She was almost done. Almost finished. A second more and she could dart unnoticed back inside to her books and flames... Except, of course, she couldn’t. The woman spoke. Thayetta was encouraged to look into a small jewel, which glowed. Then she was told that she had the ability to 'channel', and that she would be going to Tar Valon to be trained as 'Aes Sedai'. And from there, Thayet learnt, it was only the beginning...

Name: Calia Nee: Calia Luin. Married (widowed): Calia Luin-Metsar Age: 118 years Place of birth: Four Kings, Andor. Physical Description: Build: Average (Height: 165cms Weight: 60kgs). Complexion: Fair, freckled. Hair: Light brown/blonde streaked, long, usually worn wound up and out of the way of her collar. Eyes: Blue. Personality: At her core, Calia is quick-witted, audacious and pursues her goals vigorously despite any challenges and resistance. A 'debater' type personality, she has always enjoyed brainstorming and questioning the status quo and prevailing modes of thought (her own and others) out loud with others, analysing everything and tackling controversial information, beliefs and topics head-on. There is not a lot she hasn't seen of the world in her 118 years, and it shows in her matter-of-fact approach to most people and events. Fiercely rational rather than idealistic, she is brave and direct in action and speech. She is not uncaring, but she is somewhat hardened to the realities of the ever-changing world, the horrors of most shadowspawn and the Dark One's growing reach. In her younger years, she had a reputation for her lively personality, playful humour and friendly competitiveness, even after she was raised to the shawl. These days she is, more often than not, quite quiet and serious in manner - traits that truly settled on her some forty-three years ago following the deaths of her twin brothers who had each been her Warders for over fifty years. A Green sister through and through, she feels most alive and useful when directly fighting against the forces of the Shadow, which she does with fierce determination - traveling wherever the threats arise and seem greatest at any given time. She works well in groups, but is becoming increasingly independent and quite enjoys undertaking missions solo, with and without the support of a Warder or two at her side. Weaknesses: Even in her older age, Calia is an 'all-or-nothing' personality, easily bored without some sort of immediate physical and/or mental challenge, prone to impulsively seeking/actively creating 'engaging' situations that are not always to the benefit of herself or others whenever there is even a moderately lengthy lull in activity. Calia may, or may not, be developing some sort of dementia or suffering from some sort of mild traumatic brain injury. In any case, she suffers from insomnia, occasional headaches and frequently forgets small details/finds there are small holes in her short-term memory. Character History: Born the eldest daughter and middle child of Mikal and Eleni Luin, Calia was raised at the family inn in Four Kings alongside her brothers Shem and Joesh (twins), and younger sisters Josiane and Thayet. She came to the White Tower and was raised to the Green Ajah a short time after her best friend Kaylan Morin. Her twin brothers (and idols) became her first Warders, and served alongside her for over fifty years before defending her to their deaths at the Stair of Jehaan after the fall of Malkier in 955 NE. After their deaths, Calia remained in the Borderlands fighting shadowspawn at every opportunity for almost ten years. She returned to the Tower for several years after this and taught the Novices and Accepted, refusing to bond again due to the pain caused by her brothers' deaths. During this time, she met and fell in love with Warder-in-training Aaran Metsar. Ultimately unable to commit to him or her feelings, she all but fled to the Waste in 971 NE on a sanctioned mission to spend time with the Aiel, leaving in 975 NE. On her return to the Tower, Aaran was waiting for her with a proposition for marriage and bonding. She finally accepted and the two of them married, bonded and left for the Borderlands in the same year, taking no part in the Aiel War which broke out less than a year later. Aaran was killed in battle in 983 NE. After a year of mourning and battle rage, Calia returned to the Tower, taught for a year and then began a cycle of travelling/fighting and teaching at the Tower, deciding never to take a Warder for more than two years at a time - something she tells each Warder who agrees to bond. Character Reputation Calia is known at the Tower for her exciting, hands-on teaching methods, and for her peculiar Warder/bonding habits. Outside of the Tower, particularly in certain cities of the Borderlands, she is known for her ruthlessness against shadowspawn, quick wit and brainstorming ability in battle.