One Last Step - Myrrhi's raising

[Hayl3y]

Myrrhi turned another page of her book. This is so interesting, she thought excited. I definitely need to talk to Elessar about it. She smiled fondly, remembering their last meeting. Then, suddenly, she shook her head. I can’t be thinking about him now! First, I need to finish that chapter! Breathing in, she summoned some courage and went forward with her reading.

What is it now? Myrrhi asked herself a couple of minutes later. She turned her head glaring. A group of Novices had made its appearance. The young woman tried not to compare them to a flock of geese even if it was hard to resist to the comparison. The girls were all wearing their spotless white dresses and were chatting as if they were in the middle of a town market. One of them was even moving her arms widely around her. … Newcomers… Myrrhi sighed forgetting that she had been exactly like them a bit more than 10 years ago. As expected, one of the fully raised Sister - one of the Brown Ajah - glided as fast as lightning towards the little group. Chin high and pointy finger up front, she didn’t need many words to bring back the silence.

And now, back to my book! Myrrhi brushed aside some strands of her light brown hair that had escaped from her braid with her fingers. It didn’t take long for the strands to come back. After all these years, the young woman had kept her unusual hairdo. Hair short in the front, and long in the back. It was out of anger that she had cut it that way the first time. Now, it was just something that made her who she was. As long as she wore her hair loose, it didn’t trouble her. When she braided them, it was another story… Nothing stayed where it should. Maybe, I’ll have to wear them differently when… if I am raised. Myrrhi pictured herself with Taraboner braids, wearing a green riding gown instead of her banded dress. The raising… The young girl managed not to sigh dreamily. She had worked hard for it and sacrificed a lot. For years now, she had spent most of her free time to perfect weaves, abandoning all hopes for a social life.

The friends she had made as a Novice had tried to stay in touch with her the first few months after she had become an Accepted. However it had been pretty hard for Myrrhi to keep on meeting with them. First, the young Andoran had been allowed to take the ritual sooner than the other girls and the Tower disapproved of friendship between Novices and Accepted. Then, Myrrhi had wanted to concentrate on her studies. She had aimed to become the first of all the classes she had taken. For some, her dedication and efforts had paid. She had indeed become the best student. For others though, she still had to work. Healing and Fire weaves were big weaknesses for her.

The door of the library banged open once more. Again? The Accepted rolled her eyes before turning her head too see who had dared to enter so noisily in the room. Myrrhi’s frown disappeared as soon as she recognized the Mistress of the Novices, Valeri Sedai. The young woman immediately understood that the dark haired woman had made such an entrance to attract the initiates attention. It had worked well. All eyes were on her, except the ones belonging to other fully raised Sisters.

The Mistress of the Novices glided forward then stopped as soon as she reached the first tables to look around. Myrrhi hesitated. Should she keep her eyes out of her book to show the Aes Sedai that she had nothing to be scared about? Or, should she get back to her reading? It was a tough choice but she didn’t have to make it. Before she could decide a course of action, she noticed that Valeri’s eyes had settled on her.

“Myrrhi Morrigen”, the Mistress of the Novices started. The Accepted stood up at once, without even taking the time to close her book. “You are summoned to be tested for the shawl,’” the woman went on with a clear and powerful voice. “The Light keep you whole and see you safe.”

The young woman started to tremble. She felt her legs turning into cream. What? Right now? I am to be raised? So many questions crossed her mind. Afraid that she would lose herself in them, or that she would disappoint Valeri by acting not promptly enough, she pinched her thigh through her dress. The pain helped her to focus and to empty her mind. Quickly, she curtsied, then advanced towards the Mistress of the Novices. Meekly, she lowered her head. "Yes, Valeri Sedai." The Accepted followed the Aes Sedai out of the library without looking back at her book even if she felt annoyed at leaving it open, in the middle of the table she had occupied. I hope no one will touch it, nor borrow it before I return…

***

Just as Valeri had asked, Myrrhi came with her. A step behind the Aes Sedai, she tried to imitate her senior way to walk. She would soon become a full raised Sister herself, I have to master that way to glide, thought the young woman knowing well it would not be easy. She had already spent hours practicing it.

 

Slowly, a block of ice formed in the pit of her stomach as she finally realized what was happening. She had spent so many days, weeks, months, years to train for this day but now she felt as if she was a child who had never channeled before. Everything she had studies seemed to have run away from her brain.The walk to the room where the testing was done seemed to be never ending. The Accepted cursed the Aes Sedai for it. She wanted the ceremony to be over, as soon as possible, so that she could start feeling better. Each step brought more stress and took away more of her confidence. She didn’t try to talk. Indeed, as much as she could behave as if she was calm,  she knew she would not be able to keep up the appearances if she had to open her mouth. Appearances were very important at this stage, she knew. An Accepted who was taken for the testing had to show herself as a future Aes Sedai, imperturbable.

Judging by the number of corridors they crossed and the number of stairs they had climbed down, Myrrhi imagined herself in the depth of the Tower. Will we encounter creatures of the dark? She thought, hoping to distract herself with images of new adventures. After what looked to be hours, Valeri stopped. Huge iron doors stood in front of them. At last! Myrrhi thought. She tried to not to bite her lower lip. She had had to work hard to get rid of that habit but, today, she was afraid she wouldn’t resist doing it again. The Aes Sedai arranged her shawl then channeled a thread of Air to push the doors open. They swung silently, sign that the room was used more often than expected.

The Mistress of the Novices entered the room with sharp steps. Myrrhi advanced right after her, eyes up front. The place was lighter than the corridor, many lamps had been set and the white walls reflected their light. The room itself was circular and, to Myrrhi’s surprise, had a dome-like ceiling. It is beautiful … but, better to concentrate on what is at hand. The Accepted admonished herself.

Valeri Sedai stopped once more, this time in the middle of the room. Stepping aside, she allowed Myrrhi to discover the Ter’angreal that laid right in the center of it. The Accepted felt attracted by the strange object and for a while forgot about her circumstances. It consisted of a large ring that floated in the air. It was hard to determine its color. Sometimes it looked green, sometimes brown, sometimes blue. Fog seemed to emanate from it.

"Attend," The Mistress of Novices commanded. As soon as she had said the word, seven Aes Sedai approached, each of them wearing their shawl. Myrrhi noticed that they were all of a different Ajah. One from each Ajah, she thought. She recognized most of the Sisters. Some were teachers, she had had to work for others…The women gathered in a ring around her. Straightening, Myrrhi waited for the next part of the testing.

Valeri Sedai turned and placed herself right in front of the young woman, her face empty of all emotion. “You come in ignorance, Myrrhi Morrigen. How would you depart?”

Myrrhi recognized the Mistress of the Novices ritual lines. She had repeated them to herself so many times. Like by magic, her own flew from her lips. “In knowledge of myself,” she replied without thinking.

“For what reason have you been summoned here?” Valeri went on.

"To be tried."

“For what reason should you be tried."

"So that I may learn whether I am worthy."

"For what would you be found worthy?"

"To wear the shawl of an Aes Sedai." A Green shawl, the young woman added to herself.

Keeping her focus, Myrrhi unbuttoned her dress. She didn’t like to undress in front of others, even in front of other women, but she knew it was part of the testing. She tried to convince herself that she was dreaming and that the Sisters around her weren’t real. None would truly see her, her body nor the large scar that ran down one of her forearm.

 

As soon as she was naked, Valeri Sedai went on.

 

"Therefore I will instruct you. You will see this sign upon the ground." With the Power, the Mistress of the Novices drew a six pointed star with the tip of her index finger and threads of Fire. Before she could go on with her explanation, one of the gathered Sisters added as if in a trance  “Remember what must be remembered.”

Remember what must be remembered, Myrrhi repeated in her head.

“When you see that sign. You will go to it immediately, at a steady pace, neither hurrying nor hanging back, and only then may you embrace the Power,” Valeri said as the strange star disappeared. “The weaving required must begin immediately, and you may not leave that sign until it is completed.”

“Remember what must be remembered,”  another Sister chanted.

“When the weave is complete, you will see that sign again, marking the way you must go, again at a steady pace, without hesitation. One hundred times will you weave, in the order you have been given and in perfect composure."

“Remember what must be remembered…”

The other Aes Sedai opened themselves to Saidar and channeled. Myrrhi didn’t recognized the weaves but she felt them settle into the back of her head. Slowly, the Sisters moved towards the Ter’Angreal, recreating a circle around it. Still channeling they wove more threads around the strange oval. It started to flash with increased rapidity. The Mistress of the Novice nodded, signalling Myrrhi it was time to go.

Before moving forward, Myrrhi took away the Great Serpent ring she had left on her finger. She carefully placed it on her banded dress, breathing in and out very slowly. She summoned her memories of Elessar, the ones where he had explained her about the Flame and the Void, the ones where he had explained her how he prepared himself to fight, … I will come back to you, and I will box your ears, Flaming Warder, for your tricks don’t calm my heart… After those last thoughts, Myrrhi stepped forward hoping she looked confident enough.

***

What is this place? The young woman tried to recognize the yard where she stood. It looked familiar but then, all yards look alike, she thought before advancing. She tried not to cover her nakedness. I have to look like I am at ease!

 

Looking around, she noticed that she was alone and felt thankful for it.

Reaching one of the yard walls, she noticed a door that stood slightly ajar. Let’s have a look, Myrrhi told herself, getting ready for what could lay behind it. With a steady hand, she pushed the door open and entered what looked to be a soldiers dormitory. Beds were aligned against one of the walls. A small table and chairs had been pushed on one side. They were covered with various items, weaponry, books, fabric. The young woman decided to check them out. She rummaged through the objects till she discovered a large tunic, some breeches and a pair of soft boots. The clothes felt strange on her. She would have preferred to wear a dress, but there were none to be seen. What next? She wondered. Turning around, she saw the dormitory door. She had closed it before coming in… now it was open again. I guess the testing has to start … Myrrhi shrugged before stepping towards the door.

 

******

 

The Three Arches ritual had been nothing compared to what Myrrhi went through that night.

All her stress had disappeared. Like in many other tests she had had to pass - even if those were pure joke in comparison to the Raising ritual - the young woman had forgotten about her fears as soon as she had found herself in the middle of the action. Sharp, focused, she had managed to weave each thread perfectly. At first, it had looked easy… but as the time passed fatigue and sickness had fought to take over.

Advancing from a six pointed star to another, she had had to cross water, desert, fire, isolated areas, places full of sick and injured children, refugees, dying soldiers, but also of deadly enemies, trollocs, darkfriends, assassins, draghkar, … Keeping the same pace without looking back had threatened to tear her apart. But, she went on, fighting her own battle. The words chanted by the gathered Sisters were still resonating in her mind. “Remember what must be remembered….”  She didn’t know exactly what it meant. Not consciously. Still, she made all the weaves she had to remember, one after the other till she reached the one hundredth.

And then, she fell on the cold tiles of the room she had left a moment before. Naked, bruised, covered with cuts and sweat, she shook crying. Everything she had been through came back as a slap. Why? She wanted to ask but she couldn't open her mouth. It took her some time to gather her spirits. Still crying, she raised her head. Is it over? Is it a  trick? Is there more to come?

Suddenly, someone started to talk. Myrrhi jumped at the coldness of the voice.

“Myrrhi Morrigen, you will spend tonight in prayer and contemplation of the burdens you will take up on the morrow, when you don the shawl of an Aes Sedai.”

The young woman fought not to open her mouth. Is this it? It is over? For real?

Hesitantly she looked around. She recognized the Sisters around her. They gently came towards her offering to help her to stand up, healing, comfort. Myrrhi rubbed a tired hand on her face. She didn’t have the strength to talk so she simply nodded or shook her head to the many proposals. As soon as she was back on her feet, she managed to get back some composure. She forced all the ritual memory in a little drawer in her mind, locking it at least for the first few minutes to come. She didn’t know whether she should be angry or grateful or proud for what had happened. She knew, though, that becoming an Aes Sedai had been an objective to her and that she had reached it. She wove away a last offer for healing. She was not ready to be free of her pain.

Myrrhi tried to put on her dress as fast as she could. It felt nice to be covered again. Then, she passed her ring to her finger. She felt a bit disappointed at having to wear her Accepted apparel once more. So many things had happened to her and it was like nothing had changed. When she was ready, a Sister of the Green Ajah and one of the Brown invited her to follow them.

“We will escort you back to your room,” they said reassuringly. “You will need some rest.”

The way back to Myrrhi’s quarters looked quite short, compared to the one that had brought her to the testing.

*****

Alone… at last… What now?

There she was. Tomorrow she would become an Aes Sedai. What am I going to do with my life?

So far, all she had done, she had done it to be raised. She had studied, a lot, for this day. Now that she had reached the end of the journey, she felt lost.

I will not be a Brown Sister, I can’t spend more time studying… well maybe a little… but for what? It’s not like I have had enough contacts with the Sisters of the Green Ajah to know exactly what happens once one of us is raised. Do the Green agree with extra studies?  She didn't know.
 

Servants knocked at the door. They entered, not waiting for an answer. They must know that my raising happened, by the look on their faces, Myrrhi noted. Quickly, they advanced to the table and left on in a big tray. Tea and honey… maybe I should have a sip, thought Myrrhi as she eyed what had been brought to her.

Time passed and Myrrhi thought. She thought hard about what she wanted to do, what she wanted to become. She had to justify the suffering she had been through. Slowly, the anger against the Sisters who had made her suffer through the ritual disappeared. She understood that it was an important part of her training, especially for a member of the Green Ajah who would have to stay efficient through combat. It was well past midnight when a new idea birthed in her mind. Yes, there was a way to go on studying as a Green. There were always new learning challenges. She could become the best as what she did. The best at fighting… She wanted to become part of the Battle Ajah, after all. This could become her new objective. She thought back about Elessar and the first time she had met him. I wanted to fight like no other, with the Power and with weapons… as well as with my bare hands…

******

Someone knocked at her door. Myrrhi stood up and brushed the new dress she had put on. Indeed, she had found it important to wash her face with the cold water she still had in her pitcher, to comb her hair and to done clean clothes. She wanted to show  the world she was ready for what was to come.

Trying to imitate Elessar’s confident stride, she went to open the door. I want to be a fighter, so… let’s live by it from now on!

Seven Aes Sedai stood in the corridor. Again, one for each Ajah. They nodded to the young woman, as a way to ask her to join them.

***

The Amyrlin Seat, with a face like marble, began talking as soon as all gathered had found their place. “Who comes here?” she asked.

“Myrrhi Morrigen” The Keeper of the Chronicles answered.

“For what reason do you come?” The Amyrlin asked again.

“To swear the three oaths and thereby claim the shawl of an Aes Sedai.”

“By what right do you claim this burden?”

“By right of having made the passage, submitting myself to the will of the White Tower.”

“Then enter, if you dare, and bind yourself to the White Tower.”

Like the day before, Myrrhi talked without having to think. The words were like part of her. As required, she stepped forward into the room, where the entire hall was standing in attendance.

 

The Keeper turned toward the Amyrlin. In her hand was a cushion where lay the ivory oath rod. The Amyrlin extended a hand to take it. Following the ritual, Myrrhi knelt. She took the rod offered by the Amyrlin. With a solemn face she recited her vows.

  “Under the light and by my hope of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will speak no word that is not true.” Myrrhi felt the oath settling on her.

  “Under the light and by my hopes of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will make no weapon for one man to kill another.” The pressure came again. She felt tears coming to her eyes. It was getting real. She was becoming a full raised Sister.

  “Under the light and by my hopes of salvation and rebirth, I vow that I will never use the One Power as a weapon except against Shadowspawn, or in the last extreme of defending my life, or that of my Warder, or another Sister.”  One more time a pressure tighten around Myrrhi’s body. She smiled. It was not very Aes Sedai - like but she didn’t care. As she gave back the rod to the Amyrlin, the other Aes Sedai went on.  

“It is half done, and the White Tower graven on your bones. Rise now, Aes Sedai, and choose your Ajah, and all will be done that may be done under the Light.”

Myrrhi rose as asked and raised her chin.

“Go on now, Child. Find your way home,” one of the women said.

“I chose to be part of the Green Ajah” Myrrhi declared before turning herself towards the other Green Sisters.

As some of the Aes Sedai left the room, six Greens joined Myrrhi. The youngest one draped Myrrhi’s shoulders with a beautiful but simple green fringed shawl. Again, the young woman smiled, more warmly this time, as she was embraced by her new “family”.

“You will have to talk to us about Elessar”, one of the Sisters said with a grin. A second Sister scowled at the one who had just talked. I guess that grinning is not a proper behaviour for Green Sisters, thought Myrrhi trying not to grin herself.

 

Edited August 5, 2016 by Hayl3y