I'm not durnk...I shwear...(Kedyn)

[Jocelyn]

Miria blinked as she tried to focus on the tankard in her hands. Her eyes were bleary, her vision blurry, and her limbs seemed unable to obey her mind's commands. Perhaps it was time to call it a night. Right after she finished this drink. Tipping it up, she sculled the contents, finishing with a satisfied sigh before standing on extremely unsteady legs. They must obviously be sleep from sitting no long. She only had one or two drinks, didn't she?

 

Trying to count the mugs rocking back and forth on the table only made Miria queasy, so she gave up with a shrug and a lopsided grin. "Thanksh for the drinks Dr..dr..drea." Miria stumbled over the words as her hands on the table kept her upright. "But I should be going now. I have to find..." She clicked her fingers as her memory blanked and she couldn't find the name for the face in her head. "Kedyn!" She grinned in triumph as she remembered, before blushing as a small belch escaped her lips. Good heavens, perhaps she really should be heading to bed.

 

"So long, ladiesh!" Miria gave all of her companions turned new found friends a friendly grin and a wave, before stepping ever so carefully around to the door of the inn, doing her best to keep her feet, when all they wanted to do was lie down. Miria giggled. Feet don't lie down! Too busy giggling, she didn't notice the barrel on the edge of the porch outside the inn, tripping over it and down the two steps with a loud crash before she had time to catch herself.

 

Bewildered, Miria blinked a few times as she tried to work out why she was looking at the sky, the stars slowly fading as morning drew closer. "Oops!" Giggling again, Miria struggled to disentangle herself from the bush that had caught her as she tried to find her feet again.

 

Miria

[Kael]

Kedyn rolled his eyes as he finally spotted his love after nearly two hours looking for her. He had expected to meet her hours ago like they always did, and as her commanding officer had known she didn’t have anything that should have kept her so long. He hadn’t worried, there was little that could happen in the Citadel, there was crime even here, the entire Citadel was not just the Band any longer, but there was still so little that it was as if it was nonexistent.

 

Still, after a few hours Kedyn had a small amount of worry that maybe something had happened during training, some type of injury that by some mistake he had not yet heard about so he had begun looking. He asked through the Fox’s first and had gotten vague descriptions of where she might be..even gotten help from the women in his platoon. Their fondness for their commander seemed to transfer to his lover perhaps, at least their fondness for teasing him did.

 

So after spending a majority of the night searching he had finally found out that Miria was spending her time at the Tavern, and Kedyn had rolled his eyes to no end when he had heard from Elle, one of his scout privates, that she hadn’t seemed exactly sober.

 

That was how Kedyn found himself standing over his lover, looking down at her giggling face after she tripped over her own feet walking out of the Tavern. “Having fun love?” Kedyn wasn’t exactly irritated, perhaps annoyed. Not too long ago he had been quite the alcoholic, Miria had been the reason he had sobered. But he had been drinking just to get drunk and escape from his pain, Miria had nothing like that. Still, drinking enough to be like she was now, he had though Miria would control herself more.

 

Kedyn

[Jocelyn]

“Having fun love?”Miria blinked a few times, trying to focus on the face hovering above her. "Kedyn!" She cried out with glee as she recognised his face, a lopsided grin splitting her features. Why wasn't he smiling too? Probably worried that she had hurt herself falling over, that had to be it. He was always smiling, except when he was worried.

 

"I was just coming to find you." She said happily as she fumbled her way to her feet. Miria wavered a little, somewhat dizzy, but thankfully kept her balance. "Drrrrea ordered me to have a drink with her." She said, somewhat apologetically, though she burst into a flurry of giggles. "Well alright maybe a few more than one, but I only had..." Miria counted off on her fingers, lifting four fingers to show Kedyn. "...five...I think..." She scrunched her brow as she tried to remember, but soon gave up. Remembering was too tricky right now.

 

Kedyn still wasn't smiling in that heart-warming way, and Miria frowned slightly. "But I'm alright." She smiled brightly and dusted herself off, before wrapping her arms around Kedyn's middle, resting her cheek against his chest. He was so warm, she thought as she hugged him, her hands pressed against his back. So strong too, and hard, she thought idly, her hands tracing the firm contour of muscle as they drifted down his spine.

 

Miria's thoughts were quickly heating her blood and she grinned. He was awfully handsome too. Both clothed and not so clothed. Her grin turned wicked as her hands found the curve of his buttocks in a gesture that she normally wouldn't dream of making in public, but for some reason she was feeling terribly bold. Not to mention aroused.

 

"I missed you though..." Her teeth nipped Kedyn's shoulder through the roughness of his shirt and she giggled again as she pictured him without his clothes. "I told them you were the handsomest." She declared proudly, her hands sneaking about, trying to find inappropriate places as she tilted her head and waited expectedly for Kedyn's kiss.

 

 

Miria

[Kael]

Kedyn rolled his eyes as Miria's head tilted towards him and she waited for him to kiss her in an all to familiar manner. Normally he would have given in to the motion, happily indulged Miria with a few kisses, but this was far from an ordinary time. Miria was drunker than she had probably been for a long time, if ever, and Kedyn wasn't going to condone her doing this. He wasn't angry with her that she had gotten this drunk though, she was a grown woman and could do whatever she wished but she could have at least told someone where she had been so he hadn't worried so much.

 

So as her hands tried to find places best hidden in public he casually grabbed them and moved them away from his body. He held them tightly as Miria took the hint that he was not going to kiss her and looked at him curiously. He would keep the irritation out of his voice. He would…no matter how hard it would be. She could have done something; he had worried himself to scenarios that had scared him too much.

 

“You wouldn’t happen to know what time it is Miria?”

 

Kedyn paused to let Miria ponder for a second before going on, even leaving out one of his pet names for Miria to show that he was serious. “You could have at least told someone where you were going to be, you were supposed to meet me hours ago.” Kedyn was using everything he had to keep his voice level and calm. He didn’t want to sound angry, he was just irritated, and in her state it would be likely that Miria would take it wrongly or out of proportions if he looked mad.

 

“Even if Drea ordered you too you could have at least told someone where you were so I wasn’t worried.” Kedyn had let Miria’s hands drop and his words were keeping them from coming back. His body might betray him with want from her touch but his mind was firm in keeping her away, both for him and for her. Kedyn doubted she would look back as fondly at this moment if she started grabbing him in public when she remembered.

 

 

Kedyn

[Jocelyn]

Kedyn's words were penetrating the fog that shrouded Miria's brain, and she could tell he was mad. The fact that he wouldn't kiss her spoke volumes, the way he held her hands away from his body. Was she so disgraceful now that he didn't even want her touch? Anger began to replace the arousal that had thrummed through her veins. Was it that bad, being a little late? She had been ordered to drink, damn it!

 

A niggling little voice told her Kedyn wasn't being unreasonable, she should have at least have someone tell Kedyn where she was, but the drink wasn't allowing Miria to see straight. "I told you I am alright." Miria snapped, tugging her hands out of his grip. Her eyes were blue fire, marred by the red from the alcohol. "I'm a big girl." Why was it, the one time Miria indulged herself a little, she came under fire for it?

 

"Who are you to talk? You were a raging drunk when I met you, and I didn't even have that much." Miria's voice was loud, too loud. "So don't you judge me!" Her hand swung out in a clumsy motion, intending to give Kedyn a bit of a shove to prove her point, but he deftly caught it, holding her wrist in a firm grip. Light, what had she done? Had she just tried to assault her commanding officer? The man she loved with all of her heart?

 

"Oh dear..." Everything swam in front of Miria's eyes, and her stomach lurched dangerously. "I'm sorry..." She mumbled, before disgracing herself and emptying her stomach all over Kedyn's boots and in her hair, only Kedyn's hand on her arm keeping her upright.

 

 

Miria

[Kael]

Miria's words stung more than Kedyn thought they would have been able to. Even drunk he hadn't expected her to throw his former alcohol abuse back in his face, nor was he expecting her to lash out at him. It wasn't difficult to catch her wrist as he looked on her drunken anger with a somber look. Any playful amusement that had been mixed with his irritation was gone completely.

 

And as he rolled his eyes as Miria emptied her stomach onto her hair and across his boots he had decided that he would give Miria a little something to remember her lack of concern. As she stood and wiped the back of her hand over her mouth he moved and deftly threw her over his shoulder. "I'm not judging you, nor am I an angry that you were drinking. I know you are a 'big girl,' but you could have shown a little consideration and did a little something to try and tell me where you were."

 

Kedyn grimaced at the wet sounds and feeings coming from his boots as he walked knowing just what it was that he had on his boots. Just another reason for what he was about to do. "And I know you might be sorry later but this will help you for many reasons."

 

Well maybe at least, it wouldn't help him later or Miria's anger with him of that he was sure. But he selfishly wanted some sort of vent for his now anger. He stopped in front of a water trough, about the size of a bathing tub and dropped Miria's resisting body into it with a large splash, taking a step back as she reacted, folding his arms across his chest.

 

 

Kedyn

[Jocelyn]

Miria struggled as Kedyn tossed her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. What the hell did he think he was doing? Her fists pummelled his back, but all to know avail. He was as hard and unyielding as ever, sprouting on about consideration or something, she wasn't sure. It was hard to follow along with his conversation with the way the world was spinning, the fact that she was upside down not helping one whit.

 

Kedyn altered her position some and Miria struggled again, thinking the movement might enable her to get free, when suddenly cold water was all around her. She yelped in shock as the water invaded her clothes, chilling her to the bone and causing them to cling to her in an obscene manner. Water filled her boots, and brought with it a measure of sobriety. Bloody and bloody ashes, how had it come to this? She had been angry before, she wasn't really sure why, but now she was furious.

 

"Mother's milk in a cup! What do you think you are doing?" Miria snarled as she struggled to get out of the trough, managing to roll over the side, landing on her hands and knees. She pushed herself shakily to her feet as hot, angry tears began to spill over her cheeks. She pushed them away with an irritated swipe of her hand. Burn him, she had only stayed and drunk because Drea had ordered her to! She had never had any desire to drink alcohol, she hated what it did to people. And now look at her. She was the most horrid of hypocrites, soaking wet and shivering, mud and vomit on her clothes. She was a disgrace. An angry disgrace.

 

"Thanks for your help." Miria muttered sarcastically as she turned on her heel, filled with self-loathing. No doubt she would severely regret her actions come the morning, but right now she was of no mind to be able to think clearly. Silently she staggered away from Kedyn, blindly following the road in the dark, not quite sure where she was going, but knowing she could not share a bed with Kedyn, not in this state. Besides, she was too angry, too disgusted with herself. And Kedyn probably hated her. No less than she deserved really. Still, the thought sent more and more tears running down her cheeks, so much so that they blurred her vision.

 

Sleep. That was what she needed. Somewhere to go and curl up and die...well at least for a little while. How she made it to her old room she didn't know, but she pushed the door open, not caring that it stayed open as she stumbled to the narrow cot, the only thing that remained in the now empty room. All her belongings were in Kedyn's room, hers now too. More tears followed as she wondered if he would ever let her in there again. She certainly didn't deserve any kind treatment. Sobbing quietly, Miria kicked off her boots and tried to peel off her soaking wet clothes, whining in frustration when she got her arm stuck in the sodden material of her shirt. Utterly beaten, she flopped on the bed, shivering and half-undressed and prayed for an endless sleep.

 

 

Miria

[Kael]

Miria's departure brought a measure of self loathing and pity that Kedyn hadn't known would come with what he had done. It had been so cruel of him, thoughtless. What had he just done? Something like this could ruin what they had if it went to long festering and Kedyn was determined that it would not do that. He stood for a moment to collect his thoughts before setting off in the direction that Miria had gone. He would not let her leave like this, he loved her too much for that.

 

He followed the trail she left not too difficultly, she was soaking wet and was not trying to hide where she was going. He stood in front of her open door to see her on the bed she used to use, her body already moving in the rythm of sleep. He sighed, he didn't want to wake her but didn't want this to end as it had, nor did he want her slipping away in the morning before he could do anything.

 

He went and fetched a chair from one of the rooms of his scouts with a promise to bring it back in the morning and vague explanations of what he was going to do with it, he was their commanding officer and they didn't question him much anyways. And he quietly snuck back into Miria's old room, shutting the door with a soft click. Kedyn positioned the rather rickety chair in front of that door and sat in it, relaxing back into the spot where he intended to spend the rest of the night.

 

He watched Miria's sleeping body, so peaceful, so beautiful...and he may have altered that forever. Miria had been angrier than she had ever been with him, the look on her face combined with the cursing from her mouth more than telling how she viewed him at the moment. Sleep had been the last thing on Kedyn's mind but it proved to be inevitable. The curtain of exhausted emotions fell over his eyes and plunged him in rythm with the breathing of his love only a few feet away.

 

 

Kedyn

[Jocelyn]

Sunlight filtered through the small window, playing across Miria's face, waking her from her fitful sleep. Her head pounded as she opened one eye, squinting against the light. She stretched slowly, wincing against a pain in her knee, struggling with the shirt still tangled about her elbow. What the...

 

Suddenly it all came flooding back to her, Drea ordering her to drink, tripping down the stairs, Kedyn...oh light, why couldn't that part have been some terrible nightmare? At least now she understood why her knee hurt and she was in her old room. Most of her memories were rather hazy, but she remembered being angry, really angry. Her clothes had dried stiff in places and were still damp in others. How had she gotten wet? Vaguely she remembered a trough, and Kedyn.

 

Sitting up, Miria finally wrenched her arm free from her shirt, only to stop and stare at the sight of Kedyn sleeping on the wooden chair. He had tipped it back to rest against the door, and now his head rested lightly against it, his eyes closed as he slept. Guilt washed over Miria, clouding out the pounding in her head. He looked worn, dark lines under his eyes, and...something on his boots. Something that seemed to match the smell in her hair...she had done this too him, and herself? What a terrible wretch she was.

 

Tears formed at the corner of Miria's eyes as she watched her silent lover. He looked younger when he slept, peaceful, yet she knew she had caused him grief. How had she managed to get so drunk? She was the worst type of hypocrite, and yet Kedyn had still stayed to watch over her. Though the way he was blocking the door, perhaps he was planning on chastising her.

 

"Who are you to talk? You were a raging drunk when I met you, and I didn't even have that much."A tear spilled over her cheek as her words came back to her. How could she have thrown that at him? He had been a man filled with pain back then. She was cruel and did not deserve his kindness, his love. How could she be so foolish? No doubt in her drunken idiocy she had ruined everything, pushing away the one person she loved more than life itself. She couldn't face him, not like this. Half dressed and covered with her own vomit. Light, how he must be angry with her, and rightly so. But there would be no escape, not without waking him.

 

Dropping her soiled shirt on the ground, Miria curled up on the small cot, eyes on Kedyn's sleeping form as her tears flowed freely down her cheeks. The least she could do was allow him a little sleep. Her head was crying out for the same, but she deserved the pain, she would not sleep. "I'm so sorry." She whispered through her tears as she waited for the man who would no doubt turn her away to wake up.

 

 

Miria

[Kael]

The power of dreams could never be denied, the insight they gave into ones life and wishes. Perhaps that was why he dreamed of Miria, dreamed of being with her. He smiled in his sleep as he held her close, watching a small child, their child, run in front of them. He was happy, everything was perfect, no worry in sight as he bathed in the light of his family. Their daughter turned towards them, blonde hair flowing as she smiled in a way that made her look just like her mother. Perfection, love, happiness.

 

But that was always the problem with dreaming, it eventually had to end. Kedyn's eyes flickered open as morning dawned upon the room that he had taken watch over. His eyes connected with Miria's tear stained ones and his heart sunk as clarity rushed into him. What he had done, spiteful and uncalled for. Kedyn took a deep breath, slipping off his boots which were still stained with the remants of Miria's stomach, and sunk inot the bed next to her.

 

Kedyn took Miria in his arms and held her tight, ignoring everything around them. "I'm sorry for what I did, it was uncalled for. It was just...." Kedyn sighed as he bowed his head and his forehead rested against Miria's, "it was simply stupid. Can you forgive me?" He needed that, the reassurance that Miria would forgive him. That she would be able to see through his selfish actions and see the overwhelming love he had for her.

 

 

Kedyn

[Jocelyn]

Anxiety was clenching Miria's insides as Kedyn awoke, readying her for the tongue lashing that would surely follow. Her head was pounding but it was to be expected after being so intoxicated; it was no less than she deserved for the way she had treated Kedyn.

 

But there was no anger in Kedyn's eyes, instead remorse shone through as he moved to join Miria on the bed. Miria blinked at him in surprise, unresisting as he pulled her into his arms. But most surprising was his words. "I'm sorry for what I did, it was uncalled for. It was just....it was simply stupid. Can you forgive me?"He was asking forgiveness? Light, what a wretched woman she was, getting drunk and treating him as she had, while Kedyn blamed himself and sought forgiveness.

 

"I would gladly forgive you, if there was anything that needed forgiveness." Miria's voice was croaky, so she cleared her throat. "I am the one who should be on my knees begging your pardon. I..." she swallowed before continuing, "I behaved abominably. Well from what I remember, I did." Miria grimaced, stroking Kedyn's cheek softly. "Of all people, I should have been the last to throw your past pain back at you. Especially while so awfully drunk."

 

Miria's eyes flicked to where Kedyn had removed his soiled shoes and she blushed deeply, filled with shame. "I am sorry about your shoes...and everything else. I don't blame you for hating me...but I am so very sorry..."

 

 

Miria

[Kael]

It was strange, in what would some would say a comical way, to see these two lovers apoligizing to each other for things that neither could decide who's fault it was. Both were trying to take the blame upon themselves when neither had done anything all that wrong, Miria had had little control over her actions and she had not done anything terrbble by going out. But hurt feelings and stubborn pride went long ways in poisoning wounds that were but mere scratches to begin with.

 

"Hate you? I could never hate you." Kedyn lifted Miria's chin and kissed her passionately, lovingly, all things that Miria deserved. It was impossible to hate Miria, every part of his body was devited to loving her. "I love you Miria, and I could never hate you. The only thing I could ever hold permanantly for you is love."

 

"Here let's just put the whole thing behind us then, you think I have nothing to apoligize for and I think the same for you but one thing is for certain..." Kedyn sniffed loudly and pulled a disgusted face. "You sure do stink!" Kedyn chuckled at the look Miria threw back at him. "Let's go get you a bath then my love." Kedyn was trying to divert the conversation yes, but both had apologized, both had recognized the other had regretted what they had done..and now Kedyn wanted this whole pain filled night to be gone.

 

 

Kedyn