Kathleen's Midnight Vigil

[Rasheta Ardashir]

Rasheta walked to her room lost in thought. It had been a week since they had returned with the journal a relic of the history of the Ajah. She had enjoyed the trip, teaching battle weaves on the run had been more challenging then she had thought at first. If nothing else Rasheta liked a good challenge. She had known that Kathleen had thought that as soon as they had gotten back she would be allowed to petition again but it had been delayed things had to be seen to with the Journal and the Hall had needed her attention sometimes far to late to start the vigil. Rasheta had been asked to be with Kathleen during her midnight vigil and that was not an honor she was likely to turn down. It had been many years since a recruit had asked her to be their companion. Normally they picked others who were more friendly, those they were less intimidated by. It had been years since her own Midnight Vigil and she remember well the pain, heartache, worry, and stress over the coming morning. She would do whatever she could to ease this young woman's mind, but she couldn't stand for the Ajah and say they would accept her, she really had no way of knowing. It was up to the Ajah and she could only hope that her careful training and this woman's hard work would pay off for her.

 

Looking around her room she picked up her journal, a quill, inkstand, sealing wax, and a book she had borrowed from the library on the Trolloc wars. When she was done she set it all inside the lap and closed it tight, she added something to eat in case she got hungry and left a note for her warders, before heading to Kathleens's room for the long night ahead. Knocking firmly on the recruits door she waited for the young woman to answer. When the answer came she opened the door and spoke,

 

"Tonight we will do whatever you wish, tonight is a night of consideration on why you have chosen the Green, tonight you will think of your reasons you have chosen to honor the creed and motto of the Battle Ajah, these reasons you will present to the ajah tomorrow when you go before them. You need not speak unless you want to, you can ask me any questions you want and I will willingly answer them. Tomorrow we will be Sister and Sitter if luck is with you but tonight we are Sisters, bound by the power within us and the love of one ajah. I will sit outside your door until you are ready to go somewhere. Before we start do you have any questions?"

[Kathleen]

Kathleen sat in her chair reading a book she had taken out of the library earlier that day. She had thought it would be interesting but the further into it she got the more she wanted to set it down. She had nothing else to do though and it wasn't the story she was after anyway. She needed a distraction. It had been a week since the party she had sent out with to Amadicia, or rather, what was left of the party, had returned. She couldn't get a moments peace since she came home. If she wasn't thinking of the woman who didn't return with them she was thinking of what was next. Not the events of the rest of her life, just the next immeadiate step. Kathleen never thought too far ahead. Why plan for a future that could change in an instant? If you plan one move at a time, in many detailed steps.

 

From the day knelt to take her grandmother's great serpent ring back she had worked to find her Ajah. From they day she took her oaths she worked to be accepted fully to the Ajah she could still only hope to be in. While they took her in, gave her a room and began to teach her she was not yet one of them. She wanted to believe that she would be, but she couldn't let herself think it was her determined fate.

 

Still, when they took her along on such an important mission, even if she didn't know the true importance, it planted a seed in her head. Then when they began teaching her the secret weaves known only to the Green's she couldn't help but let that seed in her mind grow and take root. Surely they wouldn't teach her something only known to Greens if they really intended not to have her. Her time as Initiate hadn't been all smooth. More than once she has stepped slightly out of line. But she had proven herself. Hadn't she?

 

She had thought she had. She had thought that she would be raised as soon as they returned. After all she had learned and gone through and been trusted with surely they coudln't make her wait longer. And surely they couldn't say it wasn't good enough to join them. But it had been a week since they had returned and life had returned to the way it was before they left.

 

Oh yes, they others were still pleasant, and she knew they would need their rest, but there hadn't been even the slightest hint that her time to repetition was coming. Perhaps she hadn't proven herself. Perhaps they had been trying to find a way to turn her down gently. It was not guarenteed that she would be accepted, but now she knew too much. She knew the Head and she knew the battle weaves. Unless the Greens knew some other weave that erased this knowedge she knew they coudln't just throw her back out the other Ajah's. But then what?

 

What happens to Initates who don't make the cut? Kathleen's mind wandered to her novice days and the whispered rumors of where and why so many newly raised Greens left the Tower shortly after they were raised. She had always thought it was to further their physical training, but in the week since they had been home Kathleen was starting worry that it was the Green's way of dealing with girls who didn't make the cut. Sending them out in the world on a made up mission with orders agreed to never reveal the secrets of the Ajah they had learned so much about in their time as Initiate.

 

The days went by and Kathleen's mind was a constant swirl of worry. She kept her appearance smooth, her tone calm and patient with the other Aes Sedai, but she anything but calm and patient on the inside. She drowned her thoughts and worries in research she probably woudln't remember and she waited.

 

Kathleen sighed and threw the book down, once again she just couldn't concentrate. She got up and put on some tea. As it was heating she absentmindedly picked the book back up, and sraighted it on the small table beside the chair she had been sitting on. Just as she had the title on the perfect angle a knock came to on the door. She wasn't expecting a caller but she collected herself and answered the door.

 

 

She smiled at Rasheta as the door moved out of the way to reviel her, but when the woman spoke Kathleen's smile turned to suprise for flash before she caught herself. "Tonight we will do whatever you wish, tonight is a night of consideration on why you have chosen the Green, tonight you will think of your reasons you have chosen to honor the creed and motto of the Battle Ajah, these reasons you will present to the ajah tomorrow when you go before them. You need not speak unless you want to, you can ask me any questions you want and I will willingly answer them. Tomorrow we will be Sister and Sitter if luck is with you but tonight we are Sisters, bound by the power within us and the love of one ajah. I will sit outside your door until you are ready to go somewhere. Before we start do you have any questions?"

 

Kathleen's eyes shifted in disbelief. "No, I..I don't don't know what to say just now." Kathleen fought off a blush. "I just put on some tea, but I'll go shut it off. I need to get out of this room." Kathleen went back in side and frowned as she realized how that must have sounded to the Green. This was the room for Initiates. She hadn't meant she needed out of being an Initiate, just that she needed to walk. She took the water off the fire and took the small blanket that decorated the top of her chair and wrapped it up over her arm. She didn't know where they would go this night, but she wanted to be prepared.

 

She left the room with a very short wait, now was not the time to keep the Aes Sedai waiting. Rasheta stood a little straighter when Kathleen entered the hall. "I think best when I walk, but I'm not certain where to go. Would you mind if we just wandered for a while?" The other woman nodded two set off down the hall.

 

As they nearned the Vault Kathleen got an uneasy feeling. She didn't mind going there, but she didn't want remind Rasheta of those were no longer around. "Perhaps we will return here later. But if this where my life may lead, I think it would be more appropriate to end out night here than start." The two carried on through the hall until they reached the Library.

 

Kathleen entered and looked around. "You know Rasheta, when I first came here I had no idea this Tower was real. This was the first place I really settled. Here in the library. I spent many of my Novice days just soaking up knowledge of the world around me. It is where I first learned just how big the world was. It is where I first learned that all those monsters from my mother's stories were not made up fancies." Kathleen looked around the room, this was a good place to start the night. Back where she had started. She took a walk around the place by herself. Up and down a few rows of books while Rasheta waited patiently.

[Rasheta Ardashir]

Rasheta watched the look of surprise cross Kathleens face before she got it under control. Rasheta inwardly smiled. "Don't worry young recruit we all experience shock when called for the Vigil." Rasheta thought. She wasn't going to say that out loud though, unless asked for her thoughts. Kathleen spoke then with a little hesitation

 

"No, I..I don't don't know what to say just now." Kathleen fought off a blush. "I just put on some tea, but I'll go shut it off. I need to get out of this room."

 

Kathleen went back into the room leaving Rasheta standing in the doorway. She would have thought the girl rude if she didn't know how intimidating the whole process of being a full Green Sister was. So she did what she said she was going to do, and sat down outside the door and opened up her book. She found the years of the Trolloc Wars fascinating, and tried to learn as much about them as she could. It was always possible that history could repeat itself it would be good to be prepared. She looked up again when Kathleen appeared in the doorway, with a blanket over her arm. Rasheta stood up and put her book away. Kathleen said apologetically.

 

"I think best when I walk, but I'm not certain where to go. Would you mind if we just wandered for a while?"

 

Rasheta nodded and kept pace with the other, tonight she wasn't the one in charge it was Kathleen. She told her that again and after Kathleen eyed the Vault and decided to end the night there. Rasheta had started hers there, it had seemed as good a place as any. She nodded to Kathleen though and they walked on till they reached the library. The Browns on duty gave them a look when they entered and Rasheta nodded at them. "Just coming in for a moment." She told them. They nodded and then Kathleen spoke.

 

"You know Rasheta, when I first came here I had no idea this Tower was real. This was the first place I really settled. Here in the library. I spent many of my Novice days just soaking up knowledge of the world around me. It is where I first learned just how big the world was. It is where I first learned that all those monsters from my mother's stories were not made up fancies."

 

Rasheta didn't speak till after Kathleen had returned from looking around at the rows of books. "When you are a Green it becomes your job to make the monsters only bedtime stories to children throughout the world. We are prepared for anything, or we try to be. I hope you are ready for such a responsibility." She put her book back in her small case and said. "Now where else would you like to go?"

[Kathleen]

When Kathleen returned from her walk around the library Rasheta rose from the seat she had been waiting at and spoke "When you are a Green it becomes your job to make the monsters only bedtime stories to children throughout the world. We are prepared for anything, or we try to be. I hope you are ready for such a responsibility." She put her book back in her small case and said. "Now where else would you like to go?"

 

"I am ready for that responsibility and it is one I am proud to have. I just hope I am able to do as good of a job of it as the Green's who have come before me." The two left the library and Rasheta waited for Kathleen to lead the way. She wasn't sure where to go so she just wandered the halls. It would look odd to any who passed, but Kathleen didn't care. This was possibly the most important night of her life. Her last chance to find the words to prove she would make a good Green. What could she say? Would she be a good Green? What was a good Green anyway? A fighter? Yes fighting was quite important to the Greens, but being able to fight did not make you a Green. She had never wanted to be a Green so she could fight.

 

As their walk too them into a garden Kathleen wrapped the blanket around her. "Rasheta, please don't think I'm asking you to do my searching for me, as I am most certainly not. But, why did you choose the Greens? Of all of the Ajah's to choose from, why did choose the Greens?"

 

When Rasheta finished answering that Kathleen looked away for a moment and asked another. "Was there ever a time when you thought about joining another Ajah? Taking the easy way out to do something you felt less passionately about? Something less dangerous?" She knew it was a sign of weakness to admit her feelings even in this roundabout way. How could she honestly think these woman would accept her after asking such a question so far into her time as Initiate. She trusted Rasheta would know it was just nerves talking and not Kat's true feelings. She was dedicated to the Greens, and she would never let them down. This was her only passion, and it was the only thing she ever thought of being from the day she was raised. Even after all she was faced with in her time as Initiate she never once truly looked back.

[Rasheta Ardashir]

Kathleen was wandering the halls of the tower clearly trying to order her thoughts. She was possibly trying to think of something to say to Rasheta as well. Rasheta remembered this, she had spoken to Jaydena at length about everything, but it had been a slow start, she hadn't been sure what she could ask and what she couldn't. She also had no idea how Jaydena felt about wandering the halls with a recruit. Although Rasheta had spent most of her time in the Vault sometimes sitting in silence asking help from the dead or if nothing else that they would look on her kindly. Kathleen had opted not to do that yet. Each recruit was different of course, Rasheta did hope to visit the Vault tonight though as she wished to pay her respects to Adrian and several others who were gone. She hoped they would look on Kathleen favorably. She noticed Kathleen had wrapped a blanket around her, Rasheta eyed this with disapproval. She knew that Kathleen had a Green Shawl. She had thought the girl had brought it with her, but apparently not. Tonight was about being Green and not wearing the shawl only made her look like an Accepted. She didn't say anything though she just continued walking thinking of her own night waiting for the Ajah to accept her. She was snapped out of her reverie by Kathleen asking her a series of questions.

"Rasheta, please don't think I'm asking you to do my searching for me, as I am most certainly not. But, why did you choose the Greens? Of all of the Ajah's to choose from, why did choose the Greens?"

 

Rasheta thought about it for a moment. "I am a warrior," She said simply. "I am committed to keeping the monsters from children and allowing people to live there lives in as much peace as they can." She reminded Kathleen of there earlier conversation with a smile. She paused thinking and added "I believe in the cause the Green Ajah fights for. We also hold ourselves ready for the final battle. In everything we do we prepare for it. What better way to honor the Tower and the Ajah then to fight?" She stopped talking and Kathleen seemed to go back to her musings. She asked another series of questions.

 

When Rasheta finished answering that Kathleen looked away for a moment and asked another. "Was there ever a time when you thought about joining another Ajah? Taking the easy way out to do something you felt less passionately about? Something less dangerous?"

 

Rasheta stopped in her tracks. Easy way out! Less passionate! Second choice! Rasheta spoke in what her warders referred to as her "novice voice." It was soft but carried a long way, as well as showing her disapproval. "The easy way out? Why would you ask a Sister such a question? You have insulted the Green Ajah simply by thinking any of us would be less passionate about our lives or our choice of Ajah!" She took a breath and continued her temper rising. "I was not considering another Ajah how could I? Have I not just told you that there is no better honor then to prepare for the final battle?" She took another breath and said coolly. "If you are thinking of another Ajah or are not totally committed to the Ajah you can leave the Halls now."

 

Rasheta wasn't sure what the Ajah would do if Kathleen chose to do just that, find a way to kill her probably without violating tower law. Kathleen knew too much about the Ajah to really be let go, this had never happened before that Rasheta was aware. She was too angry now though to care overly much what happened to the girl. Kathleen would make her choice here and now before going before the Ajah tomorrow.

[Kathleen]

Kathleen stopped dead and her face paled as Rasheta spoke. She hadn't meant to offend the Ajah but now she felt they would surely turn her way. She almost cried as she tried to explain.

 

"I'm sorry Rasheta. I truly did not mean to insult you, or the Ajah. I know there is not a Green among us, living or dead who would not stand when called and lay down their life the cause. I should not have said what I did, and I need you to know it is just the stress of this night talking. I never could deal well with waiting, the fate of my life in another's hands, with me out of options on how to take the control back.

 

All I have worked for, all I have dreamed of is before me. What seemed like a struggle that would never end is closing in on me and is out of my hands. I have never truly cracked under pressure and I don't plan to now.

 

There is no other option, and from the moment I was raised there never was. If I was to run from this honor I would not be able to live with myself. I have done all I can to prove to you that I am worthy. I believe I am, and up until that last unfortunate sentence, I believe that I had proven as much to you. It is just the fear that my having done my best, having done all I can is not good enough. And if it is not good enough, and I am turned away, I can't begin to imagine what kind of life I could possibly lead.

 

You have to know what this Ajah means to me. All I have wanted for as long as I can remember is to help people. Fix problems that others can't fix. Save lives and protect innocent people. I chose the Green's because I knew they are the ones who make the biggest difference. They solve the problems others can't or won't. They stand up for the things no one else will. And they protect the innocence of the world at any cost. When the troubles of the world rise up and all others give up and walk away defeated, the Greens are there still marching in. I have no doubt that I would stand and march with you. And I have no fear that I would not measure up. This Ajah is my life. I have already given all of myself to it.

 

And tomorrow I could loose that all. I could ride proudly into battle, and give my life willingly if I thought I could save just one rightious cause. But I don't know how I could carry on if I am turned away tomorrow."

 

She knew it didn't make up for what she had said. She had never meant what the other woman had taken from her statement, but she could see how it would come across and she wished she could take it back.

[Rasheta Ardashir]

Rasheta listened to Kathleens rapid explaining of her earlier comments. She her eyes narrowed and she became more angry through some of the rapid talk. "the fate of my life in anothers hands, with me out of options on how to take the control back, indeed as if being a Novice or Accepted as any different then the waiting for Accepted test." Rasheta thought but she didn't speak till Kathleen was finished. When she did Rasheta simply stared at her for several more moments she could tell she was making Kathleen even more nervous. "good" Rasheta thought "It serves her right." When she did speak it was her Novice voice again with most of the anger gone.

 

"You think that you can excuse yourself with nerves? We all have nervous moments, we must not let ourselves be ruled by them. You must be dedicated to your Ajah and care about it and its members more then even yourself when the occasion calls for it. You cannot say something in a fit of nerves that another sister could hear and use against you, the Ajah, or your warder later. Do you think we do this to be mean? we are the battle ajah we are always testing you to see if you will break under the pressure. You will go before the Ajah tomorrow and they will decide your fate. If you are not very sure you can overcome your nerves the Ajah will show you no mercy." She paused and added "And neither will I." She knew that Kathleen still thought of her as the sister whose Warder she had saved. Rasheta would always keep a spot in the Vault for Kathleen no matter what happened but if she wasn't right for the Ajah Rasheta would see the girl removed from it. She spoke again.

 

"Why Kathleen would you speak so rashly? Why would you choose and Ajah that is always testing you if you were so nervous about it? What do you hope to achieve in the Ajah." She added "answer me when you have thought through your answer do not speak rashly to me again."

[Kathleen]

As if the situation didn't show it enough, the tone the Green was using and the looks and anger she was holding back was more than enough to put Kathleen back in her place. She wanted to protest, to go back and take back her words. But she knew all she could do was walk in silence like a Novice leaving the Mistress of Novice's room.

 

She had spend so long trying to prove she was not a child, and just when she had probably done that she had acted like one. She walked aimlessly, doing all she could to keep a steady relaxed pace. She was fuming inside, but she held herself together and didn't let it show.

 

How could I say that? Not only did I not mean it the way came out I floundered a reply like a desperate child pleading with her mother not to be sent to chores! It was one thing to have these questions, it's comepletely another to voice them. How could I be such a stupid child! After all I have worked for how could I just drop this now?

 

How could I speak to Rasheta like that? I acted like two girls sharing a novice room. I have got to stop thinking of her as such a friend. Where did I ever get the idea that she was such a friend? She saved my skin because she had to. It was her duty to the Tower that had her out after me that night, not her personal feelings for me. I went through the rest of Acceptedhood without talking to her or even seeing her. She had no interest in me. She is a Sitter, not a childhood friend. And moreso, she is right.

 

I have spent so long proving I am not a child, and at the moment when it counts I act more like a child than I ever have since I walked into this tower.

 

With every step she steeled herself more.

 

How could I go from standing as the Aes Sedai I am, fighting for every inch of authority and respect I earned from that, to thinking and acting like such a child? Any chance I had to make them see me as an asset to the group is gone. Rasheta sees me as nothing more than a child again, and she will report this back to the rest. I go in tomorrow to a room full of people who will forget all I worked to prove in my time with them. I go in tomorrow to a room full of people looking a child they think is playing at been a Green.

 

She walked on and finally began to address the questions the Sitter had asked her to answer, when she had her reasons sorted out she stopped and eyed the Green.

 

"I spoke out of place, Sitter. I mistook our relationship, and spoke with out thinking my thoughts through. That is something I make a point against doing, and the only reason I said as much to you was because of my over estimation of where we stood personally. I do know better. Aes Sedai do not have such friends as I have envisioned you as. I will guard my words to you further from here on out, as I would to any other person. It is too easy for mistakes to be made when one does not choose their words wisely. Mistakes must be avoided and I am ashamed for my actions tonight.

 

The tests that come with being a Green may strike a nerve with me momentarily, but I would be shocked to hear someone say they did not get a knot in their stomach the moment before they rode into battle. You plan your attack for so long, scrutinizing over every detail. No matter how much you put into it there is always a chance your plan will fall out from under you. That moment before you ride in is always tense, the test comes with whether you ride in and follow through or not. Tonight is the moment I look forward to my battle, I have planned all I can, and I charge alone in the morning. I have had my moment of knotted stomach at the front line. I am ready to march. I have always been ready to march, and I always will be, no matter what challenges this Ajah, and the world throw at me, I will always push past the knot and charge in. You have seen that in me personally, from the short time you spent with me as Accepted to the tests and trials that I have been put through in the last months to the events in Amadicia that we have just returned from.

 

I want to protect the world from the forces of the dark. I want to make those monsters nothing but a memory. I want to watch the children, mothers and hardworking people of the world dance about in ignorance of the dangers of the Dark One that still touch this world, and if I could I would do anything to rid the world of the Dark One himself, I would gladly do whatever was needed of me.

 

I know it is a high goal Sitter, but I will take every step I can in achieving that, and leading the way for generations behind me to carry on my fight like the Greens before me have lead my path."

 

She stood straight as she spoke with all the confidence and determination of the Aes Sedai she was. She knew that nothing she could say now would make up for her blunder, and she was not trying to cover it up or ignore it. Rasheta had asked her a question, and she had answered it.

[Rasheta Ardashir]

Rasheta watched Kathleen struggle with her thoughts, it was clear she was trying to order them as well as being terrified what would happen in the morning. This was good it was yet another test which Kathleen would either pass or she wouldn't. Rasheta didn't always like how hard they were on the new recruits but she saw the reason for it. Kathleen started speaking then and Rasheta listened, the girl had clearly ordered her thoughts and she was very adement and clear in her answer.

 

"I know it is a high goal Sitter, but I will take every step I can in achieving that, and leading the way for generations behind me to carry on my fight like the Greens before me have lead my path."

 

Rasheta nodded "Good, show that kind of conviction tomorrow when speaking in front of the Ajah. They may accept you with such strong convictions." She paused and added "I cannot stress how much you must work on your nerves and your ability to blurt things out whenever you want too." She smiled a little which she hoped Kathleen didn't see. She straightened and said. "These are traits of a novice or Accepted not an Aes Sedai. Learn to correct them and I can see that you will go far. Now come where do you wish to spend some more time. You have many hours yet till first light and your second petition."

[Kathleen]

Kathleen didn't back down when the other woman spoke, but what the Green said did ease her mind. "I cannot stress how much you must work on your nerves and your ability to blurt things out whenever you want too. These are traits of a novice or Accepted not an Aes Sedai. Learn to correct them and I can see that you will go far. Now come where do you wish to spend some more time. You have many hours yet till first light and your second petition.

 

"Thank you for the advice, Rasheta, it is not falling on deaf ears. In light of all that has just happened, I think I will move that trip to the Vault up in our schedule." When Rasheta nodded Kathleen turned and lead the way. The silent walk to the Vault gave her more time to think, but she all she could think of was how awkward the rest of the night would be. She wished they could move on from the blunder, but she didn't know what to say. talking of it more would only keep it fresh in mind, but with the Green so on edge anything Kathleen did say would be scrutinized to the highest degree. This was going to be a long night.

 

When they arrived at the Vault Kathleen stopped and turned to Rasheta. "If you don't mind, Sister, I would like a moment alone in there. When I am ready I would be happy to give you a moment of your own in the Vault, if you wished it."

[Rasheta Ardashir]

"If you don't mind, Sister, I would like a moment alone in there. When I am ready I would be happy to give you a moment of your own in the Vault, if you wished it."

 

Rasheta nodded and left Kathleen to wander the Vault alone. Rasheta sat near the door and opened her book, when she had read several pages she glanced up and saw Kathleen wander close to where Adrian's small space was. Rasheta thought back to when she had come in during her initiation and later when she had to put his things here. The first time she had come in, all she wanted was to be a Green, she had begged the sisters who were here to give her guidance. The night had dragged on while Rasheta had sat and looked at the various cubbyholes for the dead sisters. It had been a big night. The second time she had come in all she had wanted to do was fall down and die. She would join the others and her warder looking over the Green Halls in the White Tower. She could have handled that, she had thought at the time. Now she was better then she was and only on some days was she interested in ending herself. Usually when such thoughts came to her head she went and had tea with Jaydena or one of the other sisters. She wondered briefly what Kathleen was thinking as she walked through the hall. Rasheta put her book away and simply sat and asked the sisters to continue to watch out for them.

 

Kathleen came to her then and Rasheta stood up and said "Shall we go somewhere else now?"

[Kathleen]

Kathleen walked silently into the Vault, looking at all the cubbies that lined the walls. She didn't too far into them, it almost felt like a betrayal of privacy to go snooping through the personal items of the deceased. She read the names that were listed by them though, burning the names of those who came before her, or were close to those who she followed, into her brain. Some names she recognized from stories she had heard but most were just names, written on a wall. They were each more than that to her, even though she didn't know them. They were the foundation she stood on.

 

She walked around the whole space and tried to really take in the full weight of the place. It was a slap in the face reminder that the end comes for all. But it was a reassuring thing too knowing that when she joined her sisters in death all she spent her years working for would not be forgotten. Her mission would forever be carried on by the Greens to follow her, whether they knew her story personally or whether she was just a name on a wall with a sword and shawl in a cubby among thousands of others. These woman had all started their journey as Greens the same way she had and someday she would end where they are. They set down their swords in death, but Kathleen would pick them up and carry on their fight, as they had done for those who came before them.

 

She paused in front of the warder's cubby who had once ridden in on a horse and saved her. She had never thought of him as the friend she had mistakenly thought of Rasheta, but that hadn't stopped her from thinking a great deal of this man. He had risked his life to protect her. He had taken wounds to keep her safe. And for what? He didn't know her. He simply had done his job when it needed doing. They didn't need to be friends, he had a duty to the Tower and to his Aes Sedai to protect her, and he had. Kathleen stood starring at his cubbie, feeling nothing but pride. This man had saved her life in his, and in his death he had given her much wisdom.

 

She did not need friends. She had duty, and that would give her every pleasure in her life to come. She would be a Green, and she would not be a lone Aes Sedai standing on the battlefield alone. She would stand ready, with the sword of her fallen Sisters in her hand, all the power of every Green before her, dutifully carrying on the fight and purpose of her Sisters. When she was a Green, she would never be alone again.

 

When the two were done in the Vault Rasheta asked if they should move on. The two wandered the Tower grounds for a few hours to pass the time. They did not speak, but this time it was not for fear that Kathleen would upset her chances of becoming Green in the morning. Fear was gone. A calm strength had fallen over the Aes Sedai as she left the vault, and Kathleen walked the tower with new sence of purpose.

 

A few hours before the sun rose Kathleen had finished her walk through the Green Halls and had taken Rasheta in to her room. The fire was burning in the little fireplace and Rasheta had a new book out. Kathleen had made tea for them both and was keeping it fresh for refills. She sat at her desk writing out her thoughts in her journal when the sun began to rise.