[s]Goal: 100,000 New Goal: 200,000[/s] New Goal: 250.000

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

.....

[Smiley73]

Faile: Okay, lower that beam! And make sure there’s room in our ballroom for a third couch. And I want that well in our back yard finished in time for dinner. And lift the chandelier to at least two spans above the dining hall. And make sure the giant wolfhead banner over the mantel is the right shade of red. I hate when people use the dark, rust red color. It needs to be ruby red. And the balcony over the sun porch needs to be painted pine green!

 

Perrin: Are you sure we need such a huge mansion?

 

Faile: Quiet. You aren’t even in this book.

[Smiley73]

afternoon cindy!

[Smiley73]

I just had ice creamz it was nice

[Smiley73]

is it too cold for ice creamz up north?

[Smiley73]

Moiraine: Rand, I cannot advise you forever. Some day I may die. Some day I will die. Someday, I will die protecting you from Lanfear in Cairhien.

 

Rand: What was that last part?

 

Moiraine: Uh, the Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. In Cairhien.

[Crimson_Ayla]

I didn't has ice creamz :(

 

Its never too cold. Well, it probly is, but I've never been in such coldnosity...

[Smiley73]

Rand: Weiramon, you are a fool who most likely hates me. You are in charge.

 

Weiramon: Excellent plan, my liege. Shall I charge at the opposing army?

 

Rand: No. That’s a corn field.

[Smiley73]

Melindra: You could be a great man. Greater than the Dragon Reborn. You could conquer all the world, and make every nation kneel before you! You could make women weep, and men gnash their teeth! You could forge the world in the image of the Great Lord, whom I love!

 

Mat: What?

 

Melindra: Nothing. Go Light. Now look over there.

 

Mat: Okay. Hey, no trying to kill me!

 

Melindra: Damn. Go Dark.

 

Mat: Hm. Something she said sounded odd. I must piece it together.

[Smiley73]

Sulin: Why do you hide your crying, Rand al’Thor? We Aiel never hide our crying.

 

Rand: That’s funny, because I’ve never once seen any of you cry.

 

Sulin: Sure we do. I stubbed my toe. Boo-hoo.

 

Rand: You’re faking it. Your culture sounds a lot like you’re just making it up as you go along.

 

Sulin: How dare you. You insult us like a Wizard of Oz!

 

Rand: Now you’re just copying other stories!

 

Sulin: Silence, Jedi.

[Smiley73]

Dobraine: There is a rumor that Morgase is dead. And rumors are always true.

 

Rand: Yes, rumors are never wrong. I once heard a rumor that a fishkeeper in Aringill could fit five apples in his mouth.

 

Dobraine: Must be true; it’s a rumor.

 

Rand: To the Skimming Mobile!

 

Dobraine: All that Skimming would have been nice when my city was in trouble.

 

Rand: What’s that?

 

Dobraine: Nothing. Skim away. Save Caemlyn. I’ll just return to the pile of ashes that was once my house.

[Smiley73]

Asmodean: You! No!

 

Rhuarc: Oh. Sorry. Sometimes I forget to wear pants.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

never too cold for ice cream

[Smiley73]

my thoughts exactly

[Smiley73]

also never too hot for tea

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

yeah

[Smiley73]

Dark Lord: DEMANDRED. HOW FARES THIS WORLD, DEMANDRED.

 

Demandred: Rahvin is dead, Great Lord.

 

Dark Lord: DONE BY MY ANCIENT ENEMY. THE ONE CALLED DRAGON.

 

Demandred: Great Lord, do you mean one currently called Dragon, or another in a previous Age, who might be a female Dragon, or barring that, a female substitute Dragon? I refuse to believe that a female Dragon couldn’t exist…

 

Dark Lord: DEMANDRED, I’VE TOLD YOU TO STOP PERPETUATING THAT STUPID THEORY.

 

Demandred: Sorry, Great Lord. I don’t know what I was thinking.

 

Dark Lord: So, tell, me Demandred….Damn, my amp…it’s lost power.

 

Demandred: I’ll plug it back in, Great Lord. How about now?

 

Dark Lord: SO tell ME Demandred….NOW it’s SWITCHING back AND forth. THAT’S no GOOD…

 

Demandred: How about now?

 

Dark Lord: Was ist los? Ich kann nicht normal sprechen. Ich spreche wie ein verrueckter Mensch.

 

Demandred: How about now?

 

Dark Lord: ImspeakingtoofasthelpstopmefromspeakingsofastIcantstopthisIcan’tbreathe…

 

Demandred: How about now?

 

Dark Lord: 01111001100001100000111111010100110010010.

 

Demandred: HOW ABOUT NOW. HEY, NOW I’VE GOT THE BIG VOICE.

 

Dark Lord: Stop that.

 

Demandred: SORRY, GREAT LORD, BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF MY OWN BIG VOICE. HEY. THIS IS KIND OF COOL. I AM THE GREAT LORD. OBEY ME OR DIE. LET THE LORD OF CHAOS RULE.

 

Dark Lord: Do not do impressions of me, Demandred. I am the Great Lord. Those who do impressions of me will die.

 

Demandred: EXCEPT FOR ISHAMAEL. BECAUSE HE IS MY FAVORITE FANCY PANTS BOY.

 

Dark Lord: I’ve never called Ishamael my favorite fancy pants boy.

 

Demandred: YOU IMPLIED IT. THIS I COMMAND.

 

Dark Lord: You cannot command me. I command you.

 

Demandred: BUT YOU DON’T HAVE THE BIG VOICE.

 

Dark Lord: I should have the big voice.

 

Demandred: BUT YOU DON’T. SHAIDAR HARAN, GET ME SOME LEMONADE.

 

Shaidar Haran: Yes, Great Lord.

 

Dark Lord: No! Shaidar Haran, he’s impersonating me! Don’t get him lemonade.

 

Shadar Haran: But He’s got the big voice, Great Lord. How can I refuse?

 

Moghedien: Hey, what’s going on?

 

Demandred: Check out my impression, Moghedien. Ahem. MOGHEDIEN. YOU DISAPPOINT ME. BUT I WILL GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE TO SERVE THE SHADOW. YOU MUST CRAWL THROUGH MY MAGICALLY LOWERING TUNNEL WITH THE ROCKS GRAZNG YOUR HEAD. THEN YOU MUST LEAP THROUGH FLAMING HOOPS, THEN JUGGLE EIGHT PORCUPINES TO SHOW YOUR LOYALTY TO ME. FROM THIS DAY FORTH, YOU SHALL BE REBORN AS ‘CUCAMONGA.’ THIS I COMMAND.

 

Moghedien: Hey, that’s pretty good! Let me try. I AM THE GREAT LORD. I LIVE IN A BIG FIERY LAVA TOILET. OBEY ME OR PREPARE TO BE FLUSHED DOWN AMONG THE FLAMES.

 

Great Lord: Okay, I don’t really sound like that. Shaidar Haran, back me up.

 

Shaidar Haran: Actually, you do kind of sound like that. And it does look a little like a big toilet. Here’s your lemonade, Demandred.

 

Demandred: THANK YOU, SHAIDAR HARAN. YOU PLEASE ME ALMOST AS MUCH AS MY FANCY PANTS BOY, ISHAMAEL.

 

Dark Lord: Now I’m getting mad.

 

Demandred: I AM THE GREAT LORD. I CAN DISH IT OUT, BUT I CAN’T TAKE IT.

 

Moghedien: Good one.

 

Demandred: I LIKE TO MAKE BUBBLES OF EVIL. BEWARE THE EVIL PLAYING CARD FIGURES THAT I MAKE COME TO LIFE. THE THREE INCH TALL AMYRLIN SEAT’S GONNA GET YOU. SCARY.

 

Moghedien & Shaidar Haran: [snickering]

 

Great Lord: SHUT UP! SHUT UP! I WILL NOT TOLERATE….OH, IT’S FIXED. AHEM. HEAR AND OBEY, WHO WILL LIVE AND WHO WILL DIE. OBEY THE BIG VOICE.

-----------------

[Smiley73]

now I want tea

[Crimson_Ayla]

Tea. Nom.

[Smiley73]

and if there are biscuits its better

[Crimson_Ayla]

What kind of biscuits?

[Smiley73]

any kinds

[Smiley73]

Taim: Rand al’Thor, I would like to give you the gift of death.

 

Rand: What was that?

 

Taim: Rand al’Thor, I would like to give you the gift of the seventh seal that holds the Dark Lord’s prison. I got it from a farmer.

 

Rand: A farmer?

 

Taim: Yes. He got it from space aliens who landed in the cornfield. That’s my story.

 

Rand: Taim, you must build an army of male channelers.

 

Taim: I have a violent and questionable past.

 

Rand: Good. In that case, I will leave you alone with all these trained war machines so that you and you alone command their loyalty, and you may hire more and more violent angry men who hate me.

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

I think when you say bicuits you mean cookies?

[Mrs. Cindy Gill]

sad how very close that is to the books. funny but sad