1st Annual Myrddraal Scholars Faction Competition WINNER!

[Far Dareis Mai]

[glow=red,2,300][glow=red,2,300]Congrats to the Shadowspawn![/glow][/glow]

 

 

(Kathana) and (Elmo) spent a (fortnight) drinking (alcohol).  This is their story.

 

A (lemur) and a (fangfish) walked into the bar, asking for (canine) (soy sauce).

The lemur sat there drinking the soy sauce idly watching the fangfish start a (javelin) duel with the (meat)iest looking (shark) there.

 

Kathana was (ambivalent) at first, but then she spotted the fangfish eyeing

her (chocolate) pudding.  It was a special pudding after all, made with

(cobra) (milk) and other (exotic) ingredients. The Fangfish yearned for the

pudding, thirsted for the incredible delicacy that sat upon the table.

 

She went into a terrible (apoplexy), (splutter)ing "NOBODY TOUCHES THE

PUDDING!  Kathana jumped up, knocking over her (table), and lunged at the

fangfish.  Her chocolate pudding crashed to the floor spilling everywhere.

 

"(Maul) him, Kathana!  Eat his spleen!"  Elmo cheered.

 

The fangfish staggered backward from the terrible rage of Kathana.  He turned and (ran) out into the (street), grabbing the lemur on the way.  Kath staggered after them towards the door.  Intoxicated and with the floor slippery) from the spilled pudding, she fell hard and cracked her head on the edge of the marble bar top.

 

Walking over to Kathana, Elmo's (trolloc) snout twitches and the (exquisite)

scent of the (bloody) floor.  Resisting his urge to (fingerpaint) in the

blood and ignoring his (rheumatism), he picked the unconscious Kathana over

his shoulder and carried her out into the street.  Under the (light) of a

street (lamp) he (licked) her wound and put some trolloc (medicine) on the

gash.  The sting of the ointment roused Kathana.  With a snarl she (pop)ped

him one in the stomach.

 

"You (ungrateful) (donkey)!"  Elmo wheezed.  "Ug, what ever.  Lets go."

 

The staggered down the alleyways of town eventually arriving at the docks.

 

"Is that a (submarine)?"  Elmo pointed to a sausage shaped ship the color of

a ripe (banana) tied up to the end of the dock.  "We should take it out for a spin!"

 

"Naw, we don't know how to drive that thing!"

 

"So what?  Can't be that hard!"

 

"No!  We'll crash and drown!"

 

"Oh don't be so (melodramatic) Kathy baby!"

 

Kath crossed her arms and glared at him.

 

"Oh Kathy, you're so (luscious) when you get like that.  Okay.  I have a

better idea anyway."  Elmo staggered over to the sub and fumbled in his

pockets for his box of (crayons) and promptly painted the sub a lovely shade

of (forest) pink, after all who ever heard of a banana colored sub?

 

“Much better,” Kathy agrees and two make their way into the bowels of the

boat, completely oblivious to the forlorn appearing cherry pie, cooling upon

the sub’s only open (window) and the elephant sized (mouse) which tried to

sneak up from the ancient sewers behind them, happily assured that it could

remain quiet enough to steal a small slice of the aforementioned dessert.

 

Making their way below the two soon found the sub’s command center where an

old seaman sat, watching a lovely young elf caper through some (grass) across a computer screen before him. Why he was capering, Elmo wasn’t sure, but he took a (position) next to the old man and was pleasant surprised as the elf came across a largish female orc upon the screen.

 

The orc seemed rather surprised to see the young elf, but quickly overcame

her shock and tried to ask the elf what he was doing. But the elf could not

understand the orc and in fear he pulled out a slim blade intending to skewer the orc upon its point. The orc saw this and by the power of her (logic) decided that the elf was too stupid to let live and proceeded to grab him around the arms and stuff him into a  (truck) that she apparently carried around in her magic (bag) for no apparent reason.

 

The orc was immediately happy once the elf was silenced behind the lock of

the trunk and tried to debate with herself what she should do now that she

was alone again. She really hated to be alone, though she supposed she really wasn’t since she now had a new pet elf in a trunk.

 

Meanwhile, Kathy had wandered around the control room bored and feeling quite (lazy) herself, so she picked up a (book) and proceeded to read. This turned out to be fairly fortuitous for the book was actually the sub’s log and indicated that the ship had suffered a (terrible) tragedy recently.

 

And it had all started with the simple murder of a passenger aboard the sub

by several members of the crew in an effort to steal his computer as all

three had wanted to use the computer’s (camera) to send their girlfriends

pics of themselves upon their mighty adventures. Alas, the camera had proven

to be broken, having been chewed by a (goat) before the passenger had boarded the sub.

 

Very irritated the crewmen had searched through the computers files and found a program shortcut denoted only as (WoW). Having never heard of this program they foolishly clicked on the icon and immediately the computer whirred to life, groaning and whining and spewing great clouds of smoke as though its intake valves were far too (clogged) to expunge the evil that the crewmen could only assume had lodged within its circuitry.

 

Soon the crewmen found themselves pulled into the evil machine and

transformed into ugly elven and beautiful dwarven females. After the initial

shock wore off the new dwarves (tweezed) the beards off their faces and the

group set forth to explore the new lands before them and try to find a way

back to their yellow submarine.

 

The crewmen walked the full length of Azeroth, since they were too low of

level to afford a proper mount but not in any place they looked could they

find anyone that could help them get back home to their ship. Nor anyone who

understood their language even though they did get many a leer, catcall and

jeer as they passed by several of the cities.

 

Kathy of course understood perfectly what had happened to the crewmen, though the log book failed to mention the reason why. Her logic was impeccable and she turned to Elmo to discuss the matter with him. Unfortunately, Elmo was already trapped within the game and had found a (fireplace) to rest beside.

 

Kathy’s eyes fell upon the screen and before she could say anything, a large

tauren male appeared on the screen next to the orc and Kathy knew instantly

as she settled next to Elmo before the fire that she too had been caught in

the pull of this world.

 

Somewhat miffed at their current situation the pair discussed what they could do until they found their way back home, but all that Elmo could think of was to (grind) his way across the country killing (cookie) eating monsters and record his new levels on the cord of might that had been given to him by his sweetheart before the gates of Ogrimmar.

 

Kathy of course knew that she was doomed in her new form and so all she could do was to press the (print) button at the top of the screen that always seemed to be just out of her eyesight and hope that someone in the real world would someday find the email she just printed, come to their rescue and save them from the ever living torment that was their lives stuck in the (pokey) world of (WoW).

 

Until then she would just have to learn to be furry and enjoy her life as a

bull. “Now where did I leave my razor?”

[Twitchy]

Yeah. We rock.

I did nearly all of this by the way.

No help from anyone.

I kick ass.