Disipline...The Good Kind {Attn: Thera}

[TaiDashan]

D'Ashan grabbed his things and headed for Thera's office. He had been having a little difficulty with some of the classes and expressed concern to a couple of his Instructors. Apparently this filtered back to the Mistress of Trainee's and she had decided to help.

 

A couple of the Trainee's who had landed on her rough side attempted to warn him in the spirit of camaraderie, while others who had met her a bit more recently smiled and treated him like he had won some kind of honor. Truth be told, it was an honor. He had seen Thera Gaidir fighting Shadowspawn in the dark of the Blightborder. The memory of her courage and skill would never leave him.

 

Glowing with respect he approached her office. She had set a standard for him even if she did not know it. A standard of what it was to be Gaidin, to serve the Servants of All, and he would live up to that standard no matter the cost. He knocked at the door and entered when he heard her bid him come.

 

He bowed briefly before speaking. "You asked that I come today so you could instruct me in some long forgotten technique?" He barely suppressed a grin. He knew the humor would not be lost on her and was proven correct in her reply. In short order they were striding off to a lightly wooded section of the Yards where people occasionally went for training. Settling in among the trees he leaned against one casually, waiting for Thera Gaidir to impart her knowledge.

[Eqwina]

Thera desperately wished that every young man and woman who came to the yards would complete their training and go on to serve the White Tower and Aes Seidai, but it was never so. Each year some failed, a few passed away, and even more ran away under cover of night. There was nothing that said they had to stay, it was not like it was with novices and accepted who could do themselves injury if they didn’t remain. In the yards it was a person’s own drive and determination that saw them to the end.

 

All the same Thera always said a small prayer for those that did leave, hoping they found a better life. There were a few of the men and women that came through that Thera took a special interest in. She could not say why really, but for some of them it meant that she watched them more closely than others, and expected more.

 

D’Ashan was one such. She’d taken a special interest in his success and she’d thought of a way that may help him with his struggles. When he arrived to see her she led him into a secluded area of the practice yards where she would start him down a path that could help him succeed Seating herself on the soft cushion of grass she motioned him to sit across from her. “Do you have any idea why I asked you here today D’Ashan?” 

 

[TaiDashan]

“Do you have any idea why I asked you here today D’Ashan?” Humor gone, he sat where she indicated that he should. She had mentioned in her summons that she wanted to teach him something. Something that would help him in his training but not what it was. Shaking his head he said as much.

 

"No Thera Gaidin. Your summons was brief and to the point as I have so frequently found you to be." He smiled a little to let her know the comment was meant as a compliment. "I would very much like to find out however."

 

He adjusted his Scimitars so that he could get a more comfortable position and waited for her to speak.

 

OOC: Sorry, not much to go on here.  :P

[Eqwina]

 

Thera arched an eyebrow and looked at him with a cold, calculating stare. Meant for a complement or not there were certain things that should not be said. She hoped that the lesson she was about to teach would him, would aid in that. “We have spent much time together, so you should know by now that the decisions I make for you I make with your best interests at heart. My reasons may not always be clear, but until you have always accepted. Can you promise to continue on in the same way?” Thera waited for him to nod before continuing on.

 

“I have noticed a lack of progression in you lately, but I think I have something that may help. Give me your scimitars, I promise not to keep them as long this time.” Taking them from him she set them aside, away from his reach and mostly out of sight. “There is a path, a way of life I can show you that will over time, govern your way of life. It is called Daisho al’Dracon, a complete balance of mind, body, and spirit. You may refuse me, but from then on your ability to move on in the Warders yard will be left up to chance. I will no longer aid you as I have in the past.”

 

“Before you answer I will allow you to ask any questions you may have.”

 

[TaiDashan]

Thera arched her eyebrow and gave him a cool look that would have made any Aes Sedai proud. D'Ashan swallowed uneasily, mentally cursing himself for making light of such an obviously serious situation. There were things he still needed to learn and Thera consistently made him aware of this fact.

 

"We have spent much time together, so you should know by now that the decisions I make for you I make with your best interests at heart. My reasons may not always be clear, but until now you have always accepted. Can you promise to continue on in the same way?"

 

He nodded, a touch more soberly. He winced a bit as she mentioned that he had not been really progressing in his lessons lately, and idly he wondered if Saline had told her about her lessons. The Red had taken a special interest in him since their journey and when she had found that he could not read, had offered to teach him. The honest desire to help, coupled with the fact that she never laughed at him or was cruel about it led him to open up to her and agree. She was one of the few people that knew he could not read.

 

"...Give me your scimitars, I promise not to keep them as long this time."

 

D'Ashan nearly groaned. He had worn them with pride since Thera had given them back and despite all his best efforts, he still felt like a child who had their sweet taken away. He forced himself to listen to what Thera was saying as she lay his blades next to her.

 

"There is a path, a way of life I can show you that will over time, govern your way of life. It is called Daisho al’Dracon, a complete balance of mind, body, and spirit. You may refuse me, but from then on your ability to move on in the Warders yard will be left up to chance. I will no longer aid you as I have in the past."

 

D'Ashan considered her for a moment. It said something that she was willing to take a special interest in him. She did not do so often with members of the Yards, and he had asked himself why she had chosen him before. Before he could answer she asked for any questions. He had a million questions! None of which changed his decision however. He shook his head in response to her question.

 

"No mistress Thera, you have thus far taught me more about what it means to be Gaidin than I ever could have dreamed. If you will teach me I will learn, and be grateful for your attentions."

[Eqwina]

Thera had known that his answer would be yes, but she had expected more questions, or more of a fight. Perhaps he trusted her too completely? Pushing away stray thoughts, she reminded herself that his training would take care of everything. “I am flattered that you would agree so readily to obey me in this, I just hope you know that I will be holding you to your word.”

 

“Stand”

 

Getting up, she walked a few paces away and stood next to a small pile of stones. “You will learn to live your life by example D’Ashan; holding up truth and justice above all other things. Your mind will be as astute a weapon as your swords. You will strive to keep every aspect of your life in balance, only resorting to your weapons at the greatest need. Sadly in our life we are taught to become a weapon, and so we often leap to use them even when there is no need.”

 

Picking up one of the small round stones she balanced it on her palm and began to bounce it slowly. Sadly when learning a new way of life, the old had to be shed……making the first lesson the hardest.

 

“Put your arms out to your sides.” He was obviously confused by the sudden switch in her discussion but he obeyed. “Now lift your left leg off the ground and slowly began hopping in a circle.” Again he gave her a strange look but he obeyed.

 

“Now tell me what is troubling you in your life D’AShan. Anything at all?” After giving him a moment to considered she bent to gather a few pebbles. Counting in her head to 10 she threw a new stone each time she reached it and he’d yet to speak. It was meant to throw him off balance, to force him to speak, and to provoke any pent up anger he may have. “Keep your leg up! You were not told to stop hopping yet! Move!” More stones flew without ceasing. The more she threw the harder they hit. Some leaving small bruises or spots of blood.

 

[TaiDashan]

"Stand"

 

The word slapped the air like a hand swung at his face. In truth he was hard pressed not to flinch. As he followed her command he watched her walk to a small pile of stones he had not seen prior to this. His curiosity peaked.

 

"You will learn to live your life by example D’Ashan; holding up truth and justice above all other things." This was something he immediately agreed with, something that rang deeply within him as her words left her lips and he found himself nodding. He had come a long way since his life on the streets, his whole view of the world had changed.

 

"Your mind will be as astute a weapon as your swords. You will strive to keep every aspect of your life in balance, only resorting to your weapons at the greatest need. Sadly in our life we are taught to become a weapon, and so we often leap to use them even when there is no need." D'Ashan took in the words attempting to understand what she had in store for him.

 

"Put your arms out to your sides." She commanded. Confusion interrupted the words he had been committing to heart but his training kicked in and he obeyed the order without questioning. Following this the command came to lift his left leg and and hop in a circle. Glancing at her, asking with his eyes what in the Light she was up to, he complied.

 

"Now tell me what is troubling you in your life D’AShan. Anything at all?" He looked at her as he came around to face her in his hopping again but she looked serious and so he started to consider.

 

The first stone glanced of his forehead unexpectedly, stinging and almost knocking him over. He half cried out and looked at her incredulously. What under the Light was she playing at? "Keep your leg up! You were not told to stop hopping yet! Move!”

 

Continuing to hop in a circle with his arms out he found it was hard to keep his balance. The Light-Blasted woman seemed to have an un-ending supply of those cursed stones and she threw them hard too! He almost lost his balance and gritted his teeth. He would not let her win. She wanted to know what was troubling him? Fine...

 

"You and the bloody stones trouble me to begin with." He growled at her. He paused feeling a little out of line having spoken to her that way. As he fell silent for long enough, yet another stone struck him; this time in the ribs. "I hate that I cannot read, that Saline Sedai has to help me learn." The words came from his lips. Thera and Saline were probably about the only two who knew thus far. He kept the secret hidden well. "I hate that I am weak, that those around me are better than I. I am troubled that the one possession in my life that I have honestly earned, with the sweat of my brow and honest gold, has been taken from me yet again." The words poured from him bitterly and he resisted looking at his blades where they lay. After a long life as a thief, he had been understandably proud that he had not obtained those beautiful blades dishonestly. That he had bought them with hard earned coin. It was foolish, childish even, or at least he thought others would see it that way but at the moment didn't care. It was the truth and that is what she wanted.

 

With a start he noticed that the stones had stopped while he spoke, he continued hopping and thinking of what else he could say to save himself more bruises. Many places already stung or ached from Thera's arm.

 

OOC: Sorry for the delay  :P

[Eqwina]

Thera did not even flinch at D’Ashan’s tone, this exercise was meant to anger him and meant to push him to his limits. She had no doubt that he would say much worse to her before their time together was done and his training complete. At first he only vented, obviously struggling with begin angry with her verses respecting his commander and keeping his oath. Once the true confessions started Thera ceased to throw the stones, though she did not allow him to stop hopping. The combination of mental and physical exertion and pain would push him to a place he may never have been before, giving her the opening she needed to break him down. Only through that breaking down could he begin to truly envelope his teaching. Still it pained her to put him through this…she remembered her own bruises and tears all too well.

 

“D’Ashan you are weak… you are flawed…you are wholly and highly imperfect. Your weakness are many and your strengths few. Saline Sedai may never succeed in teaching such a fool as you to read. It may be that I decide to NEVER return your swords. What will you be then?” Her voice was devoid of emotion and the words flowed from her mouth as if a chant. Each word meant to hit him as hard as the stones had a moment before. “You may be sent from these yards never knowing the honor of serving the White Tower, never knowing the joy at serving an Aes Sedai. Sent away like the cowardly dog you are…banished like an ignorant fool…left to beg in the streets for a bed.”

 

Walking over to him she shoved at his shoulders, trying to knock him off balance. Her insults continued to fly, partnered with taunts that were meant to enrage. “You are truly ignorant” Her strong arms managed to knock him off balance and sent him sprawling on the ground. “You see there!! You just proved how weak you are. Get up! I never told you that you could cease. Get up! Hop!! Now!” She roared at him never ceasing until he began to obey again. This time it was not stones she threw at him, it was a practice sword. A thin bundle of lathes that she cracked at his arms and legs. She could see the anger in his eyes..the fury…the hate. It would be soon now. Soon he would lash out at her and his real training could begin.

 

OOC: Don't hate Thera forever!!  ;)

[TaiDashan]

“D’Ashan you are weak,” Thera hurled at him. It was a fact he knew already but hated just the same. “you are flawed…you are wholly and highly imperfect. Your weakness are many and your strengths few.” Her words stuck him as the stones had. Over, and over, and over again. Dimly somewhere in his mind he realized this was some sort of training but it made no sense. His leg was aching along with what seemed a million points of his body and blood mingled with sweat to blind his right eye.

 

“Saline Sedai may never succeed in teaching such a fool as you to read. It may be that I decide to NEVER return your swords. What will you be then? You may be sent from the yards… Sent away like the cowardly dog you are…” That had a hint of training as well. Something was going on here but he could not put his finger on it. He remained silent and continued hopping as instructed. If this was her way of toughening him up. He had been taunted before.

 

Suddenly she was there, shoving him. He attempted to ignore her, but as insults joined the pushing she gave him a hard shove. He lost his precarious balance and tumbled to the ground wrenching his head and smashing his elbow into the dirt.

 

“Get up! I never told you that you could cease. Get up! Hop!! Now!” Only hours upon hours of training dragged him to his feet and made him continue hopping, and she was there. A practice lathe cracked at him, knocking him this way and that. His arms, his legs. Fury boiled up inside of D’Ashan like a fountain; spewing white hot rage through his body. He had forgotten that this was for training. She had pushed him, knocked him to the ground, all but beat him! Memories of boys in Arafel taunting him and shoving him to the ground came back to him, the names, and the rocks they threw. He had buried the rage, shoved it so far down that he thought it was gone. Those memories flew at him with blinding speed, building up with each crack of the lathe. Suddenly he snapped.

 

Grabbing the lathe in mid swing, he hardly felt the sting of wood against his palm. Wrenching the lathe from her hand he hurled it behind him. In the same motion his right foot swept out to take her balance while his other hand flew toward her throat. His breath heaved, his lips locked in a snarl. He was blinded by rage and blood pounded in his ears.

 

OOC: Hope you are ok with him taking the lathe, i can always edit if not. Thera awakened deep psychological issues  :P

[Eqwina]

She could see the rage seething in his eyes and knew it would not be long now.  Her strikes with the lathe began no softer, but they were guarded now waiting for the attack that would come. It could come in many forms, a strike out at her, at the weapon, or simply a complete melt down. It was different with each student, but the result was always the same. Their defenses were broken down so they could be rebuilt.

 

His hand reached out quickly for the blade and Thera let him taking it, knowing that defending herself would be the next phase. As his foot swept out and he reached for his throat Thera allowed him to grip her from only a moment. Too see her eyes bulge in pain, and the blood rush red into her face. Then she grabbed his wrist with a snap and ducked around behind him, holding his wrist painfully between his shoulder blades. With a sweep of her own she had him down on the ground with her knee in his back and face pressed into the dirt. He still squirmed under the pressure, and his breath came in labored pants. It was all as planned…..

 

“You see D’Ashan.” She was bent down over his ear, her voice quieter now, and somehow softer, almost motherly and kind. “You are not a martyr, and not perfect, you have attack your teacher with rage in your eyes. You’ve shown your true weakness.” The struggling against her stopped and his breath began less labored, but she could see the tears leaking from his eyes. “You have known the desire to kill in rage, you could see the life leaving my eyes. Let that rage serve as a reminder of the dangers of anger, and let that be the only time to attempt to take an innocent life” His tears seemed to be sobs now and so she took the pressure from his back and face and slowly sat down on the ground beside him. Pulling his head into her lap, she allowed him to release all that he needed too.  He would be a better warrior for it, and a better man, but a single tear still leaked from Thera’s eyes. Perhaps motherhood had more effect on her than she’d first thought.

 

OOC: Time to rebuild!!!  :-*

[TaiDashan]

His hand closed around her windpipe, his fingers digging into the cartilage of her throat. Pain filled her eyes and her face began to turn red signaling the lack of air. Recognition hit him a heartbeat before his wrist was wrenched behind his back. His face met the ground shortly after, Thera's knee in his back. His labored breathing sucked dead leaves and dirt, but he hardly noticed. Rage had begun to fade, and realization sat on his soul like a white hot coal in a brazier.

 

"You see D’Ashan." her voice came, just next to his ear. "You are not a martyr, and not perfect, you have attacked your teacher with rage in your eyes. You’ve shown your true weakness." The last vestages of his rage left him in a rush. He had not only attacked an instructor, but Thera. A woman and his teacher. his breathing slowed now, tears starting to flow from his eyes silently. "You have known the desire to kill in rage, you could see the life leaving my eyes. Let that rage serve as a reminder of the dangers of anger, and let that be the only time to attempt to take an innocent life." The memory of her face fueled his tears and they changed to sobs, his body shaking under the weight of Thera's knee.

 

Thera released him and pulled his head into her lap, stroking his hair as his grief poured from him. He sat there sobbing for what seemed an eternity although surely it was only minutes. All of the pain from years of teasing and inadequacy. Sorrow for what he had become, what he was capable of now that he had been trained. Fear of becoming like his Darkfriend Father. After a time he picked his face up and scrubbed it with his sleeve, he was glad Thera had brought them to a secluded section of the yards. Looking at her he spoke.

 

"I am sorry Thera, forgive me if you can. I will understand if you cannot."

[Eqwina]

Thera’s smile was warm and filled with affection. Her eyes gave sympathy and she continued to stroke D’Ashan’s hair even after his tears had ceased. “You have done nothing that requires apology. Provocation can only be tolerated for so long. When my teacher broke me I pulled out one of my hidden knives and stabbed at his heart. Only his quick hands saved him from death. Never fear that you have offended me, or have tarnished your honor, all played out as should be.”

 

Looking into his eyes a moment longer she pulled away and motioned him to sit. It was time now to rebuild, he’d been made as ready as he could be. “I need you to remember what it felt like when your fingers tightened on mythroat.” A small smile on her lips took some of the sting from a still fresh wound. “You must accept what you did…accept it as part of yourself and know the violence you are capable of. Only then will you truly be able to let it go, and get past it. Learning the skill of embracing your failures and faults along with your strengths is paramount in your new life path.”

 

“Another thing you must master is your anger. I cannot say that you will never feel rage like you felt at me ever again, but I can give you a tool. A way to deal with that rage. Have you heard of the Spring? Or the Flame and Void?” D’Ashan nodded and Thera continued. “That will also be a part of your training, as you learn to live a new kind of life.”

 

“I am sure you have heard of The Age Lace? The Wheel of Time?” Her eyes were intent on his. “The Wheel weaves as it wills, meaning that all things fall out as they should. There is another part to the Wheel that many do not consider.” In truth it was philosophy over even her head, but it was important for him to know. “Balance. There is a constant balance between good and evil. Between Light and Dark. For every sunset there is a sunrise, for rain there is sun…For every terrible event you hear of there is always a blessing to balance it.  In our own lives though it is possible to become unbalanced, as you have found true recently; With Daisho al'Dracon, you can learn to live your life in complete balance. Your duel weapons make its philosophy a perfect for you.”

 

“With it engrained in you, you will learn to take every advantage you can in battle, you will defend even while you attack. You will balance your body and your mind, your heart and you head and have a life driven by harmony. A harmony you will strive to spread to others.”

 

Thera smiled and motioned her young student to stand. “You have had a trying day, but I am not done with you quite yet.” Picking up his weapons she handed them back, and gave him his instructions. “Take them from their sheath and hold them out at your sides. Keep your arms straight, with your back tight and head up. While you stand there I want you to recite to me everything I just told you. Word for Word, if you are wrong you will begin again.”

 

[Eqwina]

*bump*

[TaiDashan]

The warmth in her eyes reminded him of his mother in a strange way, and so it was that the words sounded odd coming from her. "...When my teacher broke me I pulled out one of my hidden knives and stabbed at his heart. Only his quick hands saved him from death. Never fear that you have offended me, or have tarnished your honor, all played out as should be." Even still the guilt was there, pressing in on him. While he did not have the compunction against fighting women that some Borderlanders had, he still felt strongly about attacking a woman out of anger. Maybe since she was better trained than him it made a difference? He dashed the thought aside.

 

"I need you to remember what it felt like when your fingers tightened on my throat. You must accept what you did…accept it as part of yourself and know the violence you are capable of..." She explained to him the importance of understanding weakness as well as his strengths. An echo of his training resounded in that but D'Ashan could tell there was something more. Thera mentioned something called the spring which he had never heard of, and the Void which of course he had. Most of his trainers attempted to teach him the Void but he had never been able to master it. It felt...backwards.

 

"Balance. There is a constant balance between good and evil. Between Light and Dark. For every sunset there is a sunrise, for rain there is sun…For every terrible event you hear of there is always a blessing to balance it.  In our own lives though it is possible to become unbalanced, as you have found true recently; With Daisho al'Dracon, you can learn to live your life in complete balance. Your duel weapons make its philosophy a perfect for you...." She went on, explaining Daisho al'Dracon and then motioned for him to stand.

 

"You have had a trying day, but I am not done with you quite yet." She picked up his blades and he had to try very hard not to sigh with relief once she handed them back. "Take them from their sheath and hold them out at your sides. Keep your arms straight, with your back tight and head up. While you stand there I want you to recite to me everything I just told you. Word for Word, if you are wrong you will begin again." This time he did sigh. He had a good memory but he knew he would have to start over a few times.

 

Sure enough as he held the blades to either side and began, he faltered and had to start over. Taking a moment he searched his mind for what she had told him. She wanted it word for word. He touched on the Spring, the Void, and the Age Lace and took a breath before continuing.

 

"Balance. There is a constant balance between good and evil. Between Light and Dark. For every sunset there is a sunrise, for rain there is sun…For every...for each event." He sighed and began again, head up, back straight and blades out to either side. His arms began to grow warm with exertion and he knew that shortly they would start to ache, growing to a sharp pain. He pressed forward and stumbled a few more times before reciting it in full. He looked at Thera questioningly, he would not lower his blades or change his stance until either she assented or he collapsed from fatigue. The light send it would not take the latter.

[Eqwina]

It took time for him to remember just what she'd said. So long in fact even Thera no longer really knew if he was right. At the sun finished its decent she let him have a few more tries. Finally calling a halt when the night bird began to cry.

 

"I will let you sleep, but I expect you to meditate on the day who've had and what you have been taught. Tomorrow I expect to see you here at High, and you will have at least two questions prepared to ask me about your new life."

 

"Good night D'Ashan. Sleep well and wake." It was the Aiel way of saying goodnight, but its crypt sound fit the days they'd been through.