Short story by David Hermes

[David Hermes]

This is a "spur of the moment idea" sort of thing. This is a short story of 607 words, enjoy!

 

  Dalwyn, the High General of the Light Army, was standing on the white sandy beach looking towards the sea with a spyglass to his right eye. The hot sun was beating down on him and the army of footmen behind with the cavalry flanking on either side, making them all sweat and squint in the harsh light.

  He was a muscular man with broad shoulders, and clean-shaven. His hair was a pale blond and fell to his shoulders and he had stunning green eyes. He wore a white cloak amd a burnished breastplate with leather gauntlets. He had white trousers and his sword at his hip.

  Dalwyn was trying to count the number of ships that were about five miles away by his reckoning. They were long black ships and had huge masts with a single flag fluttering in the wind. He could just make out the silver sword against a black background. The flag of Neraka, Althalon's sworn enemy. He counted roughly thirty ships and soldiers nearly twice that in number on every ship.

  Worry creased his vrow and made sweat more. His own army numbered two thousand in total, so the two armies were roughly equal in size, but that was not what worried him. What worried was that those ships were sailing unnaturally fast. This was mage work. He also had mages, white mages for healing and black mages for attacking. But there was a long battle ahead and many would die on both sides. He closed his eyes and shook his head wearily.

  "What did you see, my lord?" asked Fodhram. He was a tall man with fair skin and sharp blue eyes, and was a black mage. He would be able to communicate mentally with the other mages around and keep them informed of the situation. Dalwyn gave a silent prayer of thanks to the heavens for this useful ability all mages had.

  "There is about thirty ships with two thousand soldiers including mages," related Dalwyn. Fodhram nodded and cocentrated. Obviously he was communicating with the other mages.

  Ships had been sent before to go around the black ships and attack them from behind. It was almost certainly a death sentence for those ships, but a general needed to be hard and mourn later. Everything had to be done to make sure Althalon did not get invaded. Althalon was a great city a few miles behind them. A wall of gleaming marble surrounded the great city and its high towers. The buildings rose higher the farther into the centre you went, with the Royal Palace in the centre. The many towers and domes were shining brightly in the glaring sun.

  There was shouting in the distance. Dalwyn placed the spyglass to his eye to see what was going on. Their own ships had intercepted the black ships. Flaming arrows and fireballs were being thrown by both sides against the other. Already ships from both side were burning and sinking. His hart twisted at all those lost lives, but he hardened himself. He forced himself to look at the battle miles away, hoping that they were winning.

  The battle went on for two hours with Dalwyn keeping Fodhram informed. The Nerakan ships had suffered heavy losses and some ships were running away. Most of their own ships had sunk and the rest were retreating. There were still black ships sailing towards the shoreline but they were signifcantly less in number.

  The big battle was still ahead but he was more confident of victory now. No empire will ever have Althalon so long as there was still breath in his body.

 

 

 

Note: Black mages practice black magic and white mages practice white magic.

 

[Dunbar]

point 1. It's a brow not a vrow <.<

 

some typos, but you write pretty well, I'd say. A lot of focus on sweat >.> Some weird structuring, no offense, like

 

Everything had to be done to make sure Althalon did not get invaded. Althalon was a great city a few miles behind them.

 

The second sentence kinda breaks the flow a little

 

BUT I'M NO EXPERT, GOOD STUFF, KEEP IT UP, WOOO!

[Talya]

Thats was a lovely story, thanks David.

 

English isn't my strong point, so can't say too much about that. Seemed like a good story to me, so I liked it.

 

Thanks for sharing!

[damane]

Yes, David it was a great story. Show's you have great imagination. Like Talya said English isn't my strong point either, so maybe you should find yourself an editor...don't pick Demi.

[David Hermes]

These short stories are just for fun and so other people can read them but I don't plan in publishing them. The main one I'm cocentrating on is my book called The Ormr. I posted the prologue so go have a look. I plan in publishing The Ormr one day. :D

[damane]

i want the first copy!!!

[David Hermes]

It will take many years to finish and publish and I have only written 70 pages so far, but I promise you that you will get the first copy. Did you read the prologue?

[Talya]

I would put a link, so we know where it is David.

 

Becareful about putting yourstuff on the web, as you could lose copyright, or something like that...not sure how it works, but I'm sure you have to be careful.

 

Oh and I want a sign copy too... ;)

[damane]

Exactly, i've designed many ingenious things and lost them because someone stole my ideas. Like pudding. Pudding was originally my idea.

[Talya]

*shakes her head*

 

 

thats is just not on damane, we should chase them down and smear their faces in pudding!

[Dunbar]

I'm stern but unfair ^^

[damane]

i don't like wasting pudding...But in this case i think i would make an exception.

 

*smears pudding in Demi's face*

[Talya]

Well it was stern, can't blame you for that...

[damane]

*shrugs*

 

Pudding happens.

[Talya]

And Pie is delicious... ;D