Hornsounder - January 2009 edition

[Mystica]

 

Welcome to this month's edition of the Hornsounder!

 

Welcome back, dear Reader, after (what we hope was) a nice, relaxing and energising holiday season. For many of you the month of January was also a month of sales, I imagine. Some of you had to recuperate from gruesome exams and laboring school assignments. For the Hornsounder Team, the Christmas Break was very welcome indeed and we are back all ready to take on another year!

 

At this time we also welcome 2 new members to the Hornsounder Editorial team.

 

Demonspawn, a well noted arts magician, has been hired as the Hornsounder's newest Graphic Editor and as you can see from our spanking brand new banners, he is just the right man for the job!

 

May Leigh, a woman of tireless servitude, has been hired as Junior Editor and will be assisting the Senior Editors and myself in various aspects of our newspaper.

 

Take a moment to congratulate them as you pass them on the boards, for without the dedication and commitment of it's team, the Hornsounder would never be possible!

 

And now, onward and upward!

 

Grab yourself a drink, sit back with a snack and enjoy this month's edition of The Hornsounder. The first edition of 2009!

 

Mystica,

Editor in Chief

 

JoTS Winner of the Month 

 

This month's topic was: Weapon of Choice.

 

And the winner: Demonspawn of the Infantry

 

Congratulations, Demon :)

 

The winning JoTS:

 

My Shiny Knuckle-Duster... Prime Noggin-Buster

 

Just give me a shiny knuckle-duster

No dents no rust just shiny lustre

There is no better noggin buster

When I dance with Jak o’ the Shadows

 

A sword won’t do when in a brawl

Nor does spear or basket-ball

My knuckle-duster beats them all

When dancing with Jak o’ the Shadows

 

Enter Current Month's Headlines!

 

As our regular readers have come to know, the Hornsounder is divided into Sections, each handling a part of the newspaper and housing specific topics. I give you now a summary of what you can find in each Section.

You may find your interested parts quickly by scrolling to the Sections, which are clearly marked by their own Header as the one you see here on top. Subsections within can be recognized by their Blue color and therefore equally easy to recognize. 

 

The Band of the Red Hand Section explains some of the reasons to join the Band. In his own special style, Sir Manny brings us a report on the Matrim Awards, the Band's yearly award event.  Also in this section is an introduction to the Band's current Active Members,  and you get the opportunity to smooch away on our Banders' birthdays . The section finishes off with a compilation of Real Life News from our Banders reminds us of the people behind the words. 

 

The Org Game Section, this month skillfully reported on by the Game Maniac Pirate himself, Sir Win'a'lot Manriva, informs us of all the insight juices and stories of what's been going on with our Gamers. Those of you who know our Manny, know also his unique style of writing, and know that you do not want to miss out on this one.

 

The Regimental Section will effectively satisfy your hunger for knowing what's been up with the Archers and Cavalry this month. For some obscure reason, known only to the priveledged few, the Infantry Row remains hidden deep in the belly of the Barracks. What dark events have been going on there? Let's us hope the next edition will shed some light on this. In the meantime, check up on the antics of the Recruits while they visited every Regiment, see whether a new Knight or Lady has been raised or who has gained the title of Paladin in the Cavalry or see if any Archers obtained the rank of Sora or who earned their Archer medals. 

 

In the Raw Recruits Section, our Executive Officer, Paladin Dirwolf Jon will fill you in on the latest updates on our Recruits and present you with the Recruit of the Month.

 

In the  Redarms Section our Redarm Leader, Paladin Manriva fills you in on all the law breaking and spotfining activities that were found in the Band this past month.

 

The Specials Section brings you a nice little collection of Columns and stories that will make you sit up and beg for more. The Columns Section this month brings you a revived Dear Horn in which the wisdom of the Horn is utilised to give some groundbreaking advise to those that seek for it! In the Poetry Corner, you can find solace from the struggles of the psyche and recenter your inner self with the help of some very interesting and sometimes surprising pieces of art. 

 

Entertainment is the spice of Life! Or was it variety? Who cares... Get those braincells to working and claim those prizes! Join in on the Competitions and see if you are a wizard at Sudoku and can beat the Sudoku Master, Jon the Direwolf! Be sure to check out the new  Caption the Picture Competition! See if you can come up with the best caption, and claim the prize that goes along with the glory! So don't miss out on snatching up those prizes!

 

To round up the Entertainment section, you can witness the submissions to last edition's Caption Picture and get a good belly laugh in the Jokes section!

 

Dragonmount, our home. Find out the latest news that was reported to the Hornsounder about your ORG and those ORGs you don't know yet.

 

In the Wheel of Time Section read all about the topic of conversation, turmoil, and uproar from DM this month!

 

Last, but most definitely not least, the Editorial Section you can find out everything about the Hornsounder itself. What it is, how it works, who the slaving mad people are that make sure you get your newspaper full of interesting stuff each month and how YOU can be a part of it all too.

 

So there you have it folks. I hope you will enjoy this month's Edition of your Hornsounder thoroughly and if you have any ideas or suggestions that might make your Hornsounder Experience even more fun, don't hesitate to let us know.

 

Or maybe you too want to try your hand at being a reporter?

There's room in the Hornsounder for everyone, so don't let those doubting demons get the best of you. Jump right in and contact me through pm with any ideas for articles and/or projects you may have!

 

Until next month,

 

Mystica,

Editor in Chief

[Mystica]

 

Why Join the BotRH?

 

So, having read some of the activities the Band gets up to, you want to know more about the ORG? One of the ORG's focus is music, and the Band's other focus is travel. Banders are regularly writing reviews about any music album they own, whether it be old or new, as well as any gigs and concerts they have been to and various locations around the world they've visited. Responses to these reviews are encouraged, which gives Banders points, and these points allow for promotion through the many ranks in the Band. This is the basis of the ORG.

 

When you first join up with the Band of the Red Hand, you become a Raw Recruit. During this time, you experience life with each of the three Regiment (Archers, Cavalry, Infantry) and the Band itself as well so you get to know how the ORG works, and you don't get lost in your early days in the Band. After your three weeks of completing various tasks as a Recruit, you then pick the Regiment you wish to join and thus become a fully fledged member of the Band of the Red Hand. Also, once you picked your Regiment, you will be guided to become an Infantry Blademaster or a Knight of the Cavalry or an Assassin within the Archers.

 

However, the Band is not all about work. We have many fun activities going on within the ORG, ranging from simple word games to our ORG Game, created by Canis Rufus with the help of Mallett. Everything is based on the luck of rolling dice, so build up your stats to give yourself the chance of getting better rolls! Once you've taken the seven easy lessons, you can then challenge any Bander to a duel in the Arena and bring great glories to your name! Look out for Festivals of Games as another way to bring glory to your name! We are the only ORG to gamble as well, so create a Bank Account and join in the Lottery to earn some big winnings just like Mat!

 

As you can see, the Band is a place with a variety of activities, hopefully catering for everyone's needs. There are various activities for those who want points to go up the ranks, or fun and games for those who want to socialise. The Band is open to everyone, so come and join the fun at the best ORG at DM!

 

 

 

 

 

2008 Matrim Report

(by Auld Manriva, Rogue Reporter of The Sea of Storms)

 

 

A scruffily groomed man with an ill fitting dinner jacket over a hawaiian shirt, tattered trousers and sandals stands near the exit of the Band of the Red Hand Matrim Awards Dinner. He has a microphone and a thing with an antenna stuck in one ear. He appears to be singing to himself, though it mostly sounds like the death throes of a cut throat.

 

"Don't you give me no dirty looks. Your father's hip; he knows what cooks.

Just tell your hoodlum friend outside. You ain't got time to take a ride.. Yakkety......"

 

"What? ... Oh..Sorry Signor Direttori. Didn' know I was live!... Scusilo"

 

Welcome Ladies and Gentlefish to The Band of The Red Hand Matrim Awards Red Carpet  Show. I'm your reporter Red Ruffensore and I'm here on the Red Car... Well standing off to the side actually, I'm not allowed.....  but that's another kettle of cuttlefish altogether. The Matrims have all been awarded and your insipip... intrepid reporter will try and get a few words from winners and non-winners alike and list off who won what and who ran who through for winning over them.

 

For you accountants out there and OCD sufferer's who just cannot function in this plane of existence without a list... Here is a list of the winners of Matrim Awards for 2008...

 

Best Trickster ~ Lanthirios (the Artist formerly known as 12th) and Sir Felicur

Best RLO ~ Samuraiflip

Best RA ~ Samuraiflip

Best Gamer ~ DirewolfJon

Gamers Gamer ~  Snin and Riva

Best Archer ~ Samuraiflip

Best Infantry ~ Karaj and Arrandion

Best Cavalry ~ DirewolfJon

Funniest Bander ~ Footy and Riva

Best Regiment ~ The Cavalry

Best Band Member ~ Taymist

 

There was a huge news item tonight. An entirely unexpected event. She Who Would Be Queen and never turns up for an award show..... The mystical Lady of the Tay, who last year had a Blue Tattoo'd six inch tall Scottish Shaman totin' a Mousepipe  collect the award in her stead, actually made an appearance. Although cleverly disguised as a small folding chair. OOOooo.... Oh! There's a man carrying the chair to a waiting Palanquin toted by 8 large and barely clad male porters! Let's see if we can get a comment from Herself. Are you following me cameraman? Ms. Mist, Ms. Mist!!.. Might our listeners get a word from you about what you feel after gathering this award two years in a row? Ms. Mist? OOOK, let's try another angle.. Who are you wearing tonight then? Let me guess.... hmmmm, nice woodwork, hand rubbed.... would that be Chippendale? You aren't answering me M'am. This man holding you has a curious smirk on his ugly mug.... You're standing behind me aren't you? Ach!.. Crivens! ....  "Just so laddie, ye wee scuggan. Yoo're th' clever a body are ye nae. As it happens, Ah am quite plait tae collect thes award again thes year an' fur yer information Ah am wearin' Ebola ay Eboo Dar the-day. she gracioosly agreed tae drape herself ower me sae Ah woods nae gang abit naked th' nicht.  Gie it ay mah way the noo, afair Ah hae thes wee bairn twist ye intae a pretzel an' bury ye under yon high road... guid day tae ye.

 

Indeed.. well.. that was .. interesting. Ahhh! Over there is one of tonight's nominees who barely missed out on making the first Triple Winning Combo for Funniest Bander, a Tri-fecta for all love! Mr. Anybody!  Demonspawn! Demon there!! Do you have anything to say after this astounding snub? "Had'away n' get stuffed y' scabby owld fart. Me bruthaz won fair n' square, the cheet'n gits, n' wotch y' divvent gaan arse awa elbo trippin' awa that feckless half-wit wot's mullered oot ov eez heed behind y'. Noo, bugga'roff oota me way! Y' mekkin the place look a feckin mess!. Y' givvin uz retina strain havin t' look at ya ugly bracket! Me nose feels like its ganna bost wi' the force uv ya stench!"

 

Hmmm well, I denote a touch of sarcasm from Mr. Demonspawn. Let's try another shall we? Here's lovely and stylish KaraJ, she shares a Matrim with Arrandion for Best Infant.... Ms. Kara? Who's lovely frock are you wearing this fine evening, aren't you just toothsome in it too.... and were you surprised at your win tonight? "Why thank you Mr. Ruffensore, I am wearing a very exquisite number that my Banded, Demonspawn was very kind to loan me. I didn't ask why he'd got a selection of such gorgeous frocks, I can only assume he's going for a Section 8 as Corporal Klinger once did. I am truly overwhelmed to achieve such an award along with my esteemed colleague, Arrandion. Arrandion, and I would like to thank everyone that voted for me (bats eyelashes). Of course I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my lovely banded's and bonded's..I owe much to them, they know who they are (smiles brilliantly, a tear shimmering in her eye) ... now get out me' way ye bastige before I have demon rip your head off and spit down your neck, next time you approach me have someone remove the Parrot shyte from your shoulder."

 

Well dear listeners.. This has been ... enlightening. A real pleasure for you to have me bring you my eyewitless account from the 2008 Matrim Awards Extravaganza and Cattle Auction... Now I had better leave. I note a small herd of mounted barbarians moving slowly in my direction............ Adios!!!

 

my thanks to Taymist, Demonspawn, and KaraJ who graciously allowed me to either put words in their mouth (my darling sister Tay) or provided me with priceless quotes of their own (the lovely Demonspawn and Mistress KaraJ). Thank you for playing along and contributing to this insanity.  ;D

 

[Mystica]

Bander's Birthdays

(by Bridmorgan, U-C)

 

This issue we have two months of Birthdays to list!  How exciting!!  We couldn't leave out our December babies, especially since I was born in December.  ;D  So make sure you get out there and give them their birthday dues.  (I have paddles for rent at reasonable prices)  So without further ado and in the words of our illustrious EiC...HAPPY SMOOCHDAY!!

 

December birthdays

 

12/3 - Arrandion

12/5 - Ozhammer, thewindsoftime

12/6 - Goldeneyes05

12/7 - heltorhelton, Jimmith

12/12 - Deathdealer (Foo Foo, Footy, His Pinkness etc), Direwolf Jon

12/16 - Myndrunner

12/20 - Bridmorgan

12/22 - Moghedian

12/27 - Samuraiflip

12/28 - Helike

 

January birthdays

 

1/1 - Terrapin

1/6 - Emperor, Froix

1/17- Snin

1/18 - 12th, Redust

1/20 - Bursius

1/27 - elNyn

 

 

Ranking list of the Active Banders

(by Bridmorgan, U-C)

 

The ranks you see are based on the earning of ORG points and are arranged top to bottom. The top 3 positions are what we call our 'Senior Staff' and they are permanent and not linked to any points. The points based positions are divided between 'Commissioned' (= Officers) and 'Enlisted' (= Non-Officers) and can be achieved by any Bander willing to put in the necessary work.

 

Our newest members, the Raw Recruits, are not in this list as they get a special mention in the Raw Recruits Section further in this paper.

 

This ranking is based on the last promotion round: 15 January 2009

 

Marshal-General: Corki

 

Under-Commander: BridMorgan

 

Executive Officer: Direwolf Jon

 

 

Commissioned Officers

 

Banner-Captains:  Auld Manriva, Taymist, Footman, Mystica, F Horn of Valere, Arrandion

 

Captains:  el Nynaeve

 

Lieutenant-Captains:  Samuraiflip05, Katoria, Kara_J, Kingkastchei

 

Senior-Lieutenants:  Amavia, North Star, Dragonlover, snin83, Mayleigh, demonspawn

 

Lieutenants:  Cairos, 12th Regiment, Dicetosser1, Daetirion, Lanette, Felicur

 

Under-Lieutenants:  Blade, Zeth Alley, Nocturne, Tigara, Tiren Sormia

 

Enlisted

 

Master Sergeants:  Imperium, thewindsoftime, Moghedian

 

Sergeants:  Naeann

 

Corporals:  Terrapin, Rodelle, Vasu

 

Privates First Class:  mottlee, msc0083/Mathias

 

Raw Recruits:  Razzmatazz, Nex

 

 

Bander's Real Life Stories

(compiled by Bridmorgan, U-C)

 

Christmas, New Year, Oh joy, Oh joy.

(by Mystica)

 

Every year these 'festive' days approach and I tend to start feeling all closed in. It's like you just 'have' to be all jolly and happy or you'll be branded for the wicked evil twit that you are (not). Eventhough for many people these are the most depressing times of the year, that can not be known. Oh no, happy happy, that's what this time is all about. Joy to the world and all that sort of thing. Right? Not quite. But hey, it's only a few weeks a year, so no biggy. We evil twits look on, bide our time, sigh at the overly enthusiastical HAPPY NEW YEAR shrieks that fill our earlobes and put on our best, accomodating smiles. Secretly counting the days till the rush is over and everything and everyone goes back to being crouchy, stressed and absorbed in their own little things that form a natural barrier between them and you. Respecting your personal space and all that.

 

So what hit me this year? Was it the wind? Could be. Danged thing is evil enough for it. Might have been the cold too though. It's been years since we last had such a winter. Though we didn't have snow on Christmas. No, the snow came afterwards. Perfect planning. Could it be old age? Hm, that's a possibility. But nah, don't think that either. After due consideration and many nights of musing it over I have come to one conclusion that is the cause of my temporarily lapse of sanity.

 

DRAGONMOUNT and TARVALON.NET

 

The evilest of all evils has gotten their claws into me, what with their card exchanges, and cookie exchanges and whatnot. For some inexplainable reason, I actually entered several of those activities over two sites. And now....

 

Now my window seal at work is literally overflowing with Christmas and New Year cards, making me look like the cool popular kid from the block. I got to preen and prance for weeks while my colleagues went all 'ooooooh, such wonderful cards!! who are all those people??'. Sounds familiar? Uhuh, wait, I'm not finished yet.

 

I also entered the cookie exchange that the evil ones of the Brown Ajah organised and been munching happily on some homebaked brownies and cookies and goodies for quite a long time. Each time with one of them stupid grins on my face as I selfishly horded all the cookies for myself and didn't share it with a single living soul. I know, horrible huh? And that in the time of 'sharing' and all. Tough! Those cookies were made for me, and I ate them all myself. Me. Moi. Ich. Ik. Getting all drooly all over again just thinking about them. :D

 

But wait, I'm not finished yet.

 

I got a fabulous red necklace from one of my Reds, who also happens to be a MIA Infant btw, that I have been wearing to my family's new year's eve party, drawing in all sorts of wows and WOWs left and right, wearing an almost inapropriate cleavage, just to make sure it was framed in the proper setting, of course. Come to think of it, I did the same thing at work. Let me tell you, wearing a T-shirt with cleavage and nekkid skin in the freezing cold? NOT a good idea. But who cares!? They all got blasted away by my necklace!! How cool is that? But.... you guessed it, I'm still not finished!!

 

So next there was this event in the Kin, right? Let me tell you and warn  you, those people in there, they are evil. Truly and purely evil. I kid you not. I swear, they come at you with all their mushy huggy huggy stuff and you go 'ok, I can take this. I can see right through this. I'll not be affected by any of that!'. And you can. For a while. But remember, I said they are evil to the bone. And I'm not joking! Slowely, gradually, ever so sneaky, they crawl under your skin (see the connection? s-kin. Dead give-away, that). Before you know it, you'll be actively looking for ways to 'be nice'. Gah! If my banded found out, I'd never hear the end of it. Result? Well, I'll tell ya'. I been participating in the joyfull act of sending out small gifts to my secret santa and participating in an overall 'cheer them up' event. How ghastly can you get? Now I ask ya'? huh? And yet..... the evil worked again. For there was this tingling sensation of satisfaction that lingered on and on and on..... Evil Org, the Kin. Honest.

 

My Karasis got me a whole pack of Sims2 extensions to borrow. She's such a sweetheart that one. Though I'm starting to think I should have taken out a patent on her the moment we bonded. Miss goes around, winning every heart out there and then some. My other sis is the same. I tell ya', I know how to pick 'em. Them two are just too dang likeable. They should be mine. ALL MINE! dang it. It ain't fair. Again with the whole sharing thing and all that. Tsk!

 

I also got.... brace yourself for it.... a head set!!! That's right! Myst has Skype now and not afraid to use it. Most of the time... Another courtesy of my Karasis. So far I've been jabbering along with a few of my closest brats and I have learned a very important life lesson. I too can talk for hours on the phone. Who knew??? Quite the eye opener that was. And very rewarding too. Well, that is till someone had the odacity to call me cute. That was so totally uncalled for! She'll be paying for that one for a long time to come, I can tell you that much. Tsk!

 

To conclude, I'd like to point out and issue out a warning. BEWARE OF THE EVILS OF WOT SITES!!! For they will drag you in, wrap you up and spit you out all mushy and huggy feeling.

 

You have been warned.

 

May 2009 bring you all that you need, some of what you want and waffles.

 

 

My Year, A Bi-Polar Scale

(by demonspawn)

 

I tend to judge how my life is going by how I start the day and thusly how that affects the day as a whole.

 

On a good day when all is well with the world and I couldn’t be any happier...

 

I awake, bright eyed and bushy tailed, even before my alarm goes off. Leaping out of my “Soft as a cloud” bed with all the grace and agility of an Olympic Gymnast, I know it is going to be a good day.

The shower I have is like a glorious waterfall, gently massaging and caressing away my aches and pains, leaving me revitalised and refreshed. Drying myself off with a towel as soft as Eider down is akin to being kissed by an angel. Breakfast is a culinary sensation, stimulating my taste buds like no food has ever done before.

My daughter will phone me before she goes to school, just to say “I love you dad” bringing a tear to my eye as there is no nicer thing to hear as a parent.

Work, and the journey there, is an absolute joy. The snack vendor in the canteen is stocked with everything I could possibly desire. My manager doesn’t even have to ask me to do anything as I have pre-empted him every step of the way, even to the point of completing work for workmates, just to help out.

The journey home by bus is a hoot! Swapping jokes and anecdotes with the beautiful people I have the good fortune to be sharing my life with for this far too brief a journey.

My evening is filled with joining my friends online, being at one with these kind and caring people makes me glad to be alive.

I go to bed with a smile of contentment fixed on my face. 

 

 

But, at the other end of the emotional spectrum, My Bi-Polar Scale if you will, when everything is far from hunky-dory and life feels like it can get no worse.

 

My alarm goes off at its usual time of 6:00a.m., I will press the snooze button once... Twice... Three times, and sometimes I may even venture into a fourth instalment of that ear-piercing bloody beep-beep-beeping before pummelling the thing into a silent submission, and rousting myself from my slumber pit. I lurch to my feet, accompanied by the soundtrack of my knees making the kind of noise only ever heard in Chinatown at thier own New Year street parties, full of firecrackers. I will shamble about the house aimlessly, scratching my arse through my worn-away boxer shorts, stubbing my big toe on the wooden foot of my settee. The remote control for the TV will not be where I left it, forcing me to operate the bloody thing manually just to see the latest natural disaster tearing apart a helpless community.

 

I won’t know if my daughter has tried to call as, unbeknown to me until I’m at work, my phone has a flat battery.

 

Getting in the shower is a chore in itself, and invariably will be spent standing under the luke warm dribble of an excuse for a shower. In agony, I stand, as the acid-like Shower Gel eats away at my eyeballs. The only reason for prolonging this lingering, agonising, Shower Gel induced, nightmare is merely to put off the agony of flaying the skin from my body with a towel that has all the texture and abraisive qualities of bloody sandpaper.  But before trudging off to work I will punish myself further by making coffee that is only one step away from the Tar-pits that have entombed Woolly Mammoth’s and Neanderthal men. My toast will somehow have transformed into a brittle, powdery slab that will explode when bitten. Upon swallowing, it will soak up all the available moisture in my throat and refuse to go down, forcing me to swallow a chunk of coffee which will mix with the toast and form a substance resembling clay, only less malleable.

 

Eventually, having foiled my breakfasts attempt on my life, I will leave the house and get on the bus, which will arrive too late to get me to work on time. I will take a seat that was most definitely vomited, and quite possibly urinated, on by a drunk the previous night, and look around with disdain at all the other passengers. These feckless dregs of society, half-witted outcasts of the ladder of success, who have dared to pollute the very air that I am forced to breathe with their lack of ambition and personal hygiene.

Work will pass by in a blur of constant annoyances. The coffee machine will be out of order. The snack vendor will have only one Fruit and Nut Chocolate bar instead of the Mars Bar that would, temporarily, alleviate this feeling of doom and gloom and replace it with an illusion of self-satisfaction. The toilet will have been left in such a state as to resemble a massacre at the Teddy Bears bloody Picnic, thus meaning I will have to “Keep it baking” all day. I will struggle to see sense in anything my manager asks me to do, leaving me with the, barely concealed, urge to pick up the nearest keyboard and unleash my fury in his smug, self-satisfied, condescending, puffed-up, pock-marked excuse for a face. Eventually I will have to endure the will-sapping journey by bus, with those self same emotional zombies who just happen to work the same hours as me.

When I eventually manage to get to the toilet, my finger WILL go through the toilet paper leaving me with a “Brown Finger Poncho” and turning the air blue with vehement curses.

My evening will be spent trying and failing to get my PC or Modem, or both, to function correctly. Thus, denying me the chance to enter my virtual life online. Despite my multiple failures I will persevere long into the night as this is the only thing that will hold off yet another spirit-crushing, mind-numbing day.

 

So... Using this Bi-Polar scale of life’s happiness, how was 2008 for me?

 

I would say that I am slightly edging towards the happier end of the scale. There have been good times and there have been bad times.  Good being my first holiday with my daughter since I split with her mother, in Disneyland Paris. That being, the holiday was in Disneyland Paris, not the break up. The holiday did however turn out to be just as expensive.

Celebrating one year since meeting my girlfriend, Leanne. A two-week holiday and friends’ wedding in St Lucia. Advancing my career with a promotion at work.

On the downside however. Leanne's dad progressively and rapidly losing ground in his battle with cancer. Leanne having to move back to Liverpool because of this. My promotion not coming with a pay rise until 2009 due to the financial state of our Parent Company. Missing out on three quarters of the year at the Band due to crap PC and even worse Internet connection.

 

So, yes, only just edging towards the good.

 

I would just like to finish off by Thanking my Bandeds, Kara, Tay, Brid and Manny who really have helped me at various times during the year! And, finally, wishing all members of The Band of the Red Hand and Dragonmount a Happy New Year, and the very best of luck for 2009!

 

And remember... A smile takes less effort to pull off than a frown...

 

But is less effective at getting rid of unwanted guests.

 

 

It Was The Best Of Times… It Was The Worst Of Times

(by Taymist)

 

2008 went out quietly and 2009 has started just as quietly. A good thing in my opinion. Some friends departed, caught up in real life, or at least became less active and other new friends arrived to swell our ranks.

 

Last year began in a hive of activity for me as I stepped up to the Under Commander job and took on the role as Wolfkin Division Leader at Dragonmount. These were on top of the many other and various staff jobs I already had, as some of you know all too well. It was a time of success too as I found myself receiving the Band's Matrim for Best Bander 2007, swiftly followed by the DM Empy award for Most Outstanding Community Member.  :D

 

Those among you who know the time I’d devoted over the previous year to everything I was involved with, also realise how much it meant to me to get those awards. When the Band got its very own Empy for Best Org, that was the icing on the cake.  :)

 

Unfortunately, life began to alter for me around that time as my health deteriorated rather rapidly and quite seriously. I won’t go into details other than to say it was a very trying time, both for myself and those close to me. My friends here at the Band and DM were truly supportive. Naturally my available time was cut drastically and what time I did have or could spend online was devoted to my closest friends. I slowly divested myself of my more stressful jobs, though I managed to stay active at the Band and in my Division.

 

July saw a true high point as I travelled to Belgium for the DM Euromeet and had the opportunity to meet face to face with some very dear friends, not to mention make some new ones. It was a great experience and a week filled with laughter, good food and great company.  8-)

 

By August things had taken a turn for the better where my health was concerned but was then replaced with starting back to work. I work from home but, again, it’s time consuming and being on the boards is an all too easy temptation. Rather than run myself into the ground, I eventually listened to various friends and resigned as Under-Commander and from most of my other jobs on all sites. The only thing I couldn’t let go of entirely was my RP Division as, even with ups and downs, it was beginning to attract new members and also provided me with much needed relaxation.

 

The work went well and I found myself enjoying it more and more. I got a clean bill of health from my doctors at every check. I felt ready to step back into the Band as Captain-General of the Infantry once more. HA HA… yeah right… only to be confronted with a dodgy computer and modem connection which effectively knocked me offline for two months and then for the remainder of the year. How typical is that?  :-/

 

Christmas was a family affair and a very happy time, save for missing my online social life and friends. But good things come to those who wait and at last I have a brand new (very cool) computer. Board activity resumes and I have no intention of having anything but a wonderful 2009.  :)

 

To top that off, after a couple of years of difficult times, I found myself in a new, if unexpected, relationship with one of our own Banders and a year on, in December, he proposed.  ;D ;D For those who don’t know yet, I am of course talking about our very own Trickster, 12th/Lanth.  ;) I’m now very happily engaged and looking forward to the future with more hope than I thought possible before.  8-)

 

I guess my message to all of you is that things can and do change. Dreams can come true and the future isn’t set in stone. For 2009, I wish all of my friends here a very happy, healthy year and the chance to achieve some dreams of their own.

 

 

2008 - A Year of Laying Foundations

(by M-G Corki)

 

When I look back at 2008, it was definitely a year of progress and laying foundations for my future. It was the beginning of my final months at University College, London, where I was reading a degree in Classics (Ancient Greek and Latin). It was also the time when I started looking into job applications once I graduated. So a lot of time was spent juggling university work and form filling, and it affected my time leading the Band forward.

 

Form filling is a really tedious activity. You get the same questions over and over again. At least the application to the UK Secret Service was more interesting than the big financial instituations! Sadly, with the economy slowing down, rejection was more common than getting an interview. But this was probably more down to the fact I just couldn't get my head around the verbal reasoning tests I had to do. I had two interviews - one with the Building Society Nationwide and the insurer Allianz. Both ended in failure. Around April time, I gave up - and only had one option still on going. That was with my parents' accountants, who were looking for a new graduate. It was time to focus on my final exams that would affect the outcome of my degree - I wanted to get a 2.1 to keep all avenues open as most employers look for this degree level as a minimum.

 

Exams came and went, with a relaxation in the form of cricket - I was the 2nd XI captain for my university side. We had a mixed season in terms of results, but plenty of fun. And there were no injuries - unlike with rugby earlier on in the year, where I managed to split open my eyebrow! Results day was getting ever so closer, so the nerves were beginning to kick in. But I shouldn't have worried - I got the 2.1 degree I wanted!

 

After some time spent at home, it was time to gain some work experience with the accountant I had applied to work for. I also managed to successfully complete the maths and english tests set by the group of accountants the firm belonged to. I thoroughly enjoy my week, and they would let me know if I would be offered a job. I went home to my parents and waited - spending the rest of my time working in my local supermarket to earn some money and playing cricket. And being internet-less!

 

A few weeks after my time at the accountants, I was offered a job! Success at last! I could now start the new stage of my life! I had to start looking for new accommodation here in London as I didn't want a 90+ minute commute to work every day! Time was spent packing up my old place I shared with friends from uni and the search for a new place begin.

 

I found somewhere that I thoroughly liked. Despite an initial good start, I fell foul of their freakiness when it comes to cleanliness. It's crazy! Things seem to be stable at the moment, but I will be moving on again when my contract runs out in June or July - the travel to work each day (2 changes on the tube) is getting to me as well.

 

My graduation happened in early September, and I was finally graduated! It was a shame some of my good friends weren't there, but they had disappeared off to Europe for a year abroad. At least there is Facebook and I am still in London!

 

Work started in mid-September, and I have thoroughly enjoyed every moment so far! I love the challenges I face each day with different clients - but that is part of being an accountant! In order to qualify as a professional accountant, I have to attend courses. Three have been attended so far, and each course is assessed. So far, all three have been passed (2 in 2008; 1 in 2009). Just another 11 to go!

 

Northie and I are still going out - we celebrated 4 years in December 2008. A long weekend was spent in Paris in late August. And we get to see each other every weekend as she is studying down at Imperial College, London.

 

So, in reflection, 2008 was a busy, but extremely important year for me. Time and effort was needed to be put in to get me to be in a position where I could determine my future. This was achieved, and I am in a job I am enjoying. And now that my studies are more blocked based, I have more time to dedicate to the Band in 2009!

 

 

My 2009!

(by Kara J)

 

Yes I know, we're supposed to write about how our 2008 was but I'm going to break with tradition and write how I want/expect my 2009 to be. The reason for this is twofold. One, my 2008 wasn't much to write home about. It consisted of a few minor drama's and would be about as interesting as watching paint dry. Two, I believe in looking forward and not back, (I've learned this by smacking into far too many lampposts :P)

 

So lets begin, we're already almost through to February so that's almost 8.333% of the year gone already! 

 

Right the firm plans I have for this year so far are as follows:

 

Next weekend, 29th - 1st Feb, Pete and I are going down to stay with some friends for the weekend. We haven't seen them for nigh on 6 months so it'd be good to catch up. Then there's nothing planned until June. It'll be my 30th *gulp* birthday in the first week of June and the BF and I are going on holiday to Lyme Regis in Dorset. We're going with the BF's mum and brother, and have booked a nice big seafront cottage. You can all expect lots of pics and a big Holiday Review!

 

September is the next big month as an errant cavver will be visiting me. Nynaeve is coming over from Israel and stopping with various people from DM, me being one of them. So I'd best get cracking on the spare room...currently it looks like a cross between a library and a garage sale. We've got boxes in there we've not unpacked since we moved in nigh on 3 years ago *shifty*

 

Well that's my highlights of the year to come. I'm sure there'll be plenty more of ups and downs (hopefully more ups than downs) and I'll have something interesting to post about 2009 this time next year ;)

 

All in all I hope 2009 is a year filled with lots of fun and friendship and if I could meet up with more of my on-line friends then that will be so much the better!

 

My 2008

(by Arrandion)

 

Year 2008 was full of happiness and many surprises for me. :-)  After 3 months of preparations and only 7 months after I proposed to my girlfriend and we got married in July! (YAY!) Then as our "honeymoon" we traveled to Belgium to meet awesome folks from the Band! It was memorable 5 days full of joy, good food and brew and of course sightseeing + a lot of chatting and stuff. In September/October my wife moved to better job, so I looked for something new for me as well (still in game design but just on a larger scale) and found it 500 km away. So last 2 months of 2008 we spent on preparations before finally, on 1st of January 2009 we moved into a rented flat in Warsaw - the capital city of Poland. We got accommodated and stuff, our two cats seem to be happy as well.  :) When it comes to the Band, last year I managed to reach Banner Captain rank and became Blademaster! I am very proud of that and again I thank everyone for their support!  :)

 

I hope that year 2009 will be as good for you as the 2008 was for me!

 

 

Dog Meat and Soul Mates

(by F Horn of Valere)

 

2008 in many ways was the best year of my life. Having only arrived in Korea a couple months before the start of 2008, I had not yet immersed myself in the Korean culture, but after the start of the year, I dove in and did not look back. I tried just about every type of Korean food imaginable; from bulgoki (beef dish) to pork to mandu to kimchi (fermented cabbage) I tried it all and loved it! Though, for the record, the kimchi took the whole year to learn to like. I even tried two very non-western choices in cooked dog meat and raw fish, both of which were surprisingly excellent.

 

Far more important than the food, however, was a different side of my life—I met the woman of my dreams. The course of the year saw me not just meet her and start dating, but also become engaged as well. So while I am a much more cultured person after my experiences in Korea, I also am a much happier person as I have found my soul mate. We both will be returning from Korea to live in the United States later this fall.

 

2008 will be a year that I always remember with fond memories!

 

 

[Mystica]

 

 

The Fearsome Paladin Lord Riva

Car al Shen Daes Mar

Bringer of Pain and Humiliation

Roving Reporter

 

Hack ~ Slash ~ Bash & Ventilate

It's All In The Game

 

You too could become the awe inspiring and feared Gamers Gamer. Supremely confident in your ability to defeat all who stand before you. Basking in the roar from the adoring crowd. Dancing to the rhythm of the knocking knees of your panic-stricken opponent. Leap Tall Buildings in a Single Bound, for all love!!!  Join the Game, take the training and begin your journey to becoming a Legend in YOUR OWN MIND!!!    

One of our lovely operators is waiting to take your call. Or fling a query at your local Regimental Expert, many of whom can be found lolling about sharpening their wit..... err sorry... weapons.

 

 

The dawn of the last year saw an explosion in Org Game activity. Many new players began and old players returned to abuse them. This was spurred on in part from the success of Festivals which began in the year '07. Partially due to the paucity of Festivals in the second half of the year '08 activity diminished in some quarters but the Archer Regiment pressed on with several of their number becoming quite tough and feared customers. Thank you Jea, Snin and el' Nyn for your fine, fun to moderate and score competitions.   

 

The Year '08 began with Footy, Tay and Riva dominating their opponents with Paladin Uasal and Sir DJ close on their heels. The Marshal General Corkius Maximus was a mere footnote, a veritable whipping boy, as he had lolled about idly in 2007 not increasing his stats or Game Points in order to purchase the more deadly and effective weaponry available to the truly fearsome. But gamely he challenged and defeated those deadly, unmerciful warriors (most armed only with sticks) sworn to his service and finally after much bloodshed, the occasional stomped toe and massive paper cut he amassed the capital to invest in modern implements of destruction, then promptly disappeared from our Arena of Death. Much to the chagrin of those who enjoyed bashing him senseless on more than one occasion. Myself not so humbly included.

 

In the meantime the gruesome and deadly Footman Grim, The diabolical Lady of the Tay...Mist and yours truly stood atop their perch on Mt. Olympus gazing upon those mortals, struggling below to become the Gods of War they had become. Sir DJ became Paladin DJ and an unholy terror to his opponents and Lady Bridmorgan who, dainty a maid as ever there was, defeated the Archer Snin by guile and unadulterated good fortune but lost (in very unladylike fashion) to Loup Garou DJ. Then retired to a desk job as Under Commander of The Band. Never again to shed her precious bodily fluids onto the sacred soil of our Temple to Terror. Paladin Uasal roundly whupped up on several opponents, but shed much blood and slobbered on himself embarrassingly in losses to The Marshal General and The Bringer of Pain and Humiliation..... moi!

 

The Infantryman Kastchei began the year in unfortunate fashion by losing miserably to Taymist who then lost a close match herself to The Pink Permutation of Panic himself Footman Grim. Kastchei took out his frustrations on some few poor Archers who were but mere fodder at that stage of their Arena careers and the unfortunate Climhazzard. But prevail Kast did at any rate and he stood atop the pedestal on more than one occasion.

 

All the while the young Archers were planning, training, learning and yes.... scheming, as is their wont, to become the deadly prowlers of The Arena of Death and much feared assassins they became towards the end of the Year '08. Jeannaisais, el'Nyn and finally the much feared Snin, who currently stalks our Arena like a great jungle cat learned by trial and error, time and again and mostly among themselves to play our sacred game. They too have now become masters and most fear to confront them with their flashing twin blades of death and destruction. Their Archer predecessors, who mastered this game before, should see them performing their fearless and graceful dance of death. It is a sight to behold..... and avoid.

 

 

[Mystica]

 

News From The Range!

(by El Nyn)

 

 

Welcome to the first Range news of 2009! Presumably everyone has recovered from Christmastime, and those of you with kids have rediscovered your floor underneath the sea of wrapping paper. ;D Those of us in the Range have in all probability already broken that resolution never to drink again, but hey we're Archers, we like our drink. ;)

 

This month's news is jam packed full of December's and January's happenings, but first we hope that everyone had a good Christmas and New Year. December saw the scattering of various people as they went home to their families for Christmas, making December fairly quiet, but January saw a pickup in activity. The big change this month is a change of leadership, as el Nynaeve once again takes up the position of Captain-General this term.

 

In December one of the Senior Staff, BridMorgan, decided it was high time to complete her Journey to Assassin, the Archer's post-recruitment scheme. She is doing very well with her tasks and will soon move onto the next stage.

 

January has seen a number of visitors from all over the Band, the most notable of which is Direwolf Jon's Travelling Den, up from the Cavs Yard, where the first order of business was to start a drinking contest of course. ;D

 

The Matrims as the Archer's See It

 

The long awaited Matrims were awarded at the beginning of January and all the Archers waited to see what awards they might walk away with this year.

 

Samuraiflip05 was the first Archer to grab an award, for Best Regimental Liaison Officer of the Year. This was swiftly followed by him also taking the Best Redarm of 2008. Now wondering what was going on, he was also given the Best Archer of 2008 award, much to his bemusement. Three awards in one go, not bad for only a year in the Band. Congrats Sam! ;D

 

Snin also bagged himself an award too, taking the Gamers' Gamer of 2008 trophy. Congrats Snin, well done!

 

Well done to you both, you do the Archer's proud! :)

 

New Archers

 

We're thrilled to say that Nex has decided to join our ranks as the newest Archer. He was a fantastic recruit while he was with us and we're glad to see him back and looking forward to the unique personality he'll add to the regiment. :)

 

Promotions

 

That lovable time when you can work out whether someone's an officer or not and therefore fodder for mischief. ;)

 

December 1:

 

From Snr-Lieutenant to Lt-Captain

Lt Capt. Samuraiflip05

 

January 1:

 

From Lt-Captain to Captain

Capt. el Nynaeve

 

From PFC to Corporal

Cpl Rodelle

 

Congrats to all promotees!!

 

RLO Business

 

Every so often our illustrious Executive Officer sends us some raw recruits to play with and of course with Christmas and New Year, there weren't many about the Range in December. However in January Nex paid us a visit for a week, where his first task was to write some Jak o the Shadows verses. They were very good too. ;D He was then sent to one of our many taverns to serve drinks, but he also had to offer up pieces of his own wisdom along with all drinks. We all know how well wisdom and drink go together. :D His third task was to offer himself up on our Dunk Tank and hoped he could stump us enough not to get too soaked! He even took up our fourth task of Rite of Passage, and now that he's chosen to join the Archers hopefully his little sapling from that task will mature into a fantastic bow.

 

The RA's Notepad

 

Our RA's have been very bored these past two months, none of them have handed out any spotfines. Either that or they're asleep on the job after too many Forget Me Not's. That's not to say the Archer's haven't been up to mischief. Nex lost himself a strike for posting in the Infantry and Cavalry boards while he was staying at the Range. Cav RA Imperium handed out a spotfine to Dragonlover for assaulting an RA by tickling him. Whether that's a spot finable offense remains to be seen as is whether DL will actually do the spottie.

 

And of course, many Archers wrote Jak o the Shadows verses for a Band-wide spotfine given by Footy for spilling brew in the latrines. What would we all do without Footy? ;D

 

Regimental Competition

 

Last issue we promised to let you know how the Archer's did in the September/October competition and we're pleased to say we came out on top in the Band Idol!

 

November/December competition was a Scavenger Hunt with a Christmas theme. The Archer's put in a very good showing once again and finished 2nd just behind the Cavalry. Great job Archers!

 

Journey to Assassin

 

The Journey to Assassin is what all our new Archers undertake upon joining our regiment. It helps them develop their skills as an Archer and cements their dedication to our hard working regiment. They start off as an Apprentice before moving onto Journeyman/Journeywoman and with hard work, they will achieve the rank of Assassin and taking the title of Sora or Frato and joining the Brotherhood of their choice.

 

Assassins:

 

Brotherhood of the Rose - Sora Jeannaisais and Sora el Nynaeve

 

Brotherhood of the Lily - Frato Snin, Sora Helike and Sora Alishandra

 

Journeyman/woman: Dragonlover and Samuraiflip

 

Apprentices: Amavia, Corki (MG), Iron Monk, Tharengore, Barracuda, Moghedian, Rodelle, MonsterMetroid, BridMorgan (UC) and Nex

 

It's been a great two months and good start to 2009. We'll see you all next month!

 

[Mystica]

From the Horse’s Mouth ~ News of the Cavalry!

(By Imperium)

 

Greetings from the Yard!!

 

Welcome from the best regiment in the band! (had to put that in somewhere)

 

So it is the start of a new year, the Matrims have been awarded (more on this later) and the.......

 

 

As per usual the structure in the Cavalry has changed again due to the new term however we all still follow the Orange Knight himself Paladin Horn. Horn will be aided in his running of the 'The Storm' by his Lieutenant General Lady May and his Banner General Sir Felicur. The RLOs for the term will be Sir Cairos and Squire Imperium. That then leaves us with the names of our upholders of the law, (I wanted to use the word uncorruptable but found out it wasn't a word!) Sir Manriva, Lady Katiora and Squire Imperium.

 

 

 

Last time we mentioned that Sir Felicur hadn't chose his horses name, I can now reveal that it is Tai'shar Eireannach (although this was tied in the pole with Donut - I personally thought Donut was the better name, especially for Feli!)

 

 

The last couple of months have been a quiet time for the Red Arms, I am not sure whether this is them being lenient, lazy or corrupt but there were no spot fines in December. This is starting to pick up again with Nex losing one strike for cross posting as a Raw Recruit and DL being spottied for assaulting a Red Arm, namely me!!!!! However the true beauty that I think most people have missed is the one gave by Footy for Drink Spilling to the whole band!!!

 

 

As I am sure you have all been waiting for, I can finally announce the winners of the last two regimental competitions (drum roll please....would be more spectacular if other regiments hadn't posted some of it last time...). The July/August computer games competition was won by the Cavalry with Raw Recruits second, Archers third and the Infantry fourth. The September/October Band Idol competition was won by the Archers with the Cavalry second and the infantry third. The last competition of the year, the November/December Scavenger Hunt was won by the Cavalry with the Archers second and the Infantry third.

 

The esteemed Marshal General Corki has already started the January/February competition which is a Where's the Senior Staff.

 

 

So before we see the promotions for the last period, I think we have enough space to squeeze in the small matter of the 2008 Matrim Awards. The Cavalry managed to stagger away with 5 awards not including the best Cavalry member. The first award winner for the Cavalry was for Sir Felicur who walked away jointly with 12th with the Trickster Award. The next Cavalry award winner and now Senior Staff member of course was Paladin DJ who won the Gamer of the Year award. The next award out was the Gamers' Gamer of the Year which also ended in a tie between our very own pirate Lord Manriva and Snin of the archers. Paladin DJ then had to get up again when he was called out as the Best Cavalry Member of the year before Lord Manriva collected the Funniest Member award with Footy. Then the big one was announced the Cavalry were announced Regiment of the Year and Paladin Horn staggered up to collect the award for us.

 

I would like to take the opportunity to congratulate all winners of the awards this year and thank everyone who voted as well. Also good luck to everyone for next year’s awards.

 

 

Promotions for December and January

 

 

1st December

 

From Raw Recruit to Corporal

Cpl. Vasu

 

1st January

 

From Private to Private First Class

P.F.C. Mathias

 

15th January

 

From Under-Lieutenant to Lieutenant

Lt. Felicur

 

 

I would like to thank all Cavalry members for their effort last year and let’s start the new year well in our effort to retain our deserved status!

 

 

 

RLO: Realm of the Lost Ones

(by Felicur)

 

 

Another year, a new article, and it seems fitting that this month being the first we had only one new RR through the swinging Stable doors in January. As with everything this time of year, everyone is slowly getting back into their daily rhythm after Christmas so the lull in activity was to be expected.

 

The RR that did manage to stumble in the Yard was Nex, and he was welcome in true Cavalry style. The Bandy was flowing, there was dancing and the usual mischievous characters scurrying around in the background. I got the opportunity to hand out my last set of tasks before handing over my RLO duties to the more-than-capable Sir Cairos.

 

The first task that RR Nex was assigned was to joust against Sir Cairos, and both men showed steely determination to win. However, neither could gain the upper head and the joust ended in an entertaining stalemate. The second task was to write a review and RR Nex didn’t disappoint writing a substantial review about Haifa, Israel. The review drew interest from Samurai P.I. and Rob Anybody MacDemon, and RR should be congratulated on the amount of detail he provided. RR Nex’ last task was to be gleeman at one of the Cav’s taverns; The Gallivanting Gentleman. Although the Inn was quiet, the RR still managed to keep Imperium and Terrapin laughing.

 

So there you have, a quiet month, but that’s the first one of the year out of the way. RR Nex went on to choose the Archers as his Regiment and we at the Cavalry would like to wish him, and the Archers all the best! Until next month…

 

[Mystica]

 

Raw Recruits of the Band

(by Paladin Jon the Direwolf, XO)

 

 

Welcome, to the new edition of the Raw Recruit report.  For any future Banders out there, the Raw Recruit Program is how we initiate all new members to our Org. Each Recruit spends a week with our three regiments in turn, doing fun tasks and getting to know members. At the end of the three weeks they get to choose a Regiment to join.

 

During the month of December we had no Recruits graduate, so no one earned their Raw Recruit Stripe!!! It was a very quiet month as only two new members entered the Band in December, however they both went LOA until the beginning of January. However, in January we had one very busy recruit who graduated and earned his Raw Recruit Stripe, and that was Nex.  He decided to join the Archers regiment for his home.

 

The Outstanding Recruit of the Month is the Recruit that has stood out to me as being the most motivated and dedicated. The Outstanding Recruit must excel amongst his/her peers and a reward for this prestigious title is the prize of one org point. 

 

The Outstanding Recruit for the month of January is:  Nex.

 

Don't forget to congratulate him next you see him.  Well done Nex!

 

Of the Recruits choosing Regiments, the final statistics for 2008 are:

 

7 - Infantry

16 - Cavalry

5 - Archers

 

Missing In Action figures are decent with 21 out of 57 Recruits going MIA this year, but we also have 2 members waiting to choose a regiment.  Currently we have 3 new Recruits working their way through their training at the moment. A warm welcome to Uno, Bursius, and Merlyn  who are currently going through their Recruit time. 

 

Check out the Regimental Articles to see what our Recruits have been up to this past month!

 

This past month has been full of work and it has been a tremendous beginning to 2009.  The recruit side of things has been pretty quiet and laid back this month, but we are starting to see a few more recruits trickle in.  Make sure to tune in next month to see the first update on the stats for the recruit regiment choices for 2009.  It's great to be back and reporting the recruit news to you.  Thanks to the RLO's for this term (they can be seen below) for making this a great start to 2009!

 

 

RLOs for the January/February Term:

 

Archers:

Sam

El Nyn

 

Cavalry:

Cairos

Imperium

 

Infantry:

Kara J

Arrandion

 

See you next month with more RR antics!

[Mystica]

Raw Recruit Articles

 

Kara J – The Untold Story

(by RR Nex)

 

This is a very much fictional, biographic article on Kara J. All characters are fictional, and if you by any chance recognize yourself in one/several of those....you might need to reconsider. Also, just to let you know beforehand; there are some allusions to certain movies (Kara J's favorites, of course).

 

In the forsaken coast of South Wales exists a concealed society of people who emigrated to our planet some 400 years ago. Their deep tunnels are only a pale image, unable to describe the original, compared to the complexity of the undergrounds of their native homelands. Kara J, a newborn of the alien race, swiftly proved herself as a true prodigy. She excelled in everything and was handpicked for a special task force. Together with Andy and Red, the task force completed several important missions – for instance, the task force managed to finally destroy a golden ring which had been the subject for wars and conflicts between the “Flaming Eye & White Hand” league and the “The Horse, Steward and Bow” social club.

But the bliss never lasts. Red's cousin, Vinny, returned from a long journey throughout the country of Wales. He had been contaminated with the dangerous Marxist virus, and it did not take long before he started preaching about revolutions, class struggle, exploitation and whatnot. Red convinced Kara to join this so-called “revolution” , and in inspiration and awe towards the new ideas, she invented the chatting system known as “MSN”. MSN was an easy system to keep in touch, to organize meetings without actually having to see anyone and several other things.

Cousin Vinny did not stay idle. He made contact with someone from the outside, a mysterious woman known as “Sugar Kane”, and arranged plans for Kara to be transferred to the Outside World, to aid the revolution.

“Sugar Kane”, quite sure Kara had seen pictures or films starring her, was puzzled (even angered) by the fact that she had no knowledge of the outside world. She simply left, but was the spur for a greater conflict to come.

 

The Revolution was eventually hushed and the leaders imprisoned. Kara, Red and Andy however, managed to escape with the help of a rock hammer.

 

The Outside World was a tough place for the former special task force. After long struggles of adjusting, Red and Andy settled in Zihuatanejo, a place that offered everything they sought. But what about Kara J? She, with her genius skills within technology, was nearly recruited by Microsoft, but knew she would never be satisfied with such shallow work. In stead, she discovered a Band of warriors, known as the Band of the Red Hand, and instantly knew that it was her home. Due to her contribution to the communist ideals, the Soviet Union named a class of their missile cruisers “Kara”.

 

 

A Partial Reprint of "Mahiro Shukosa's Guide to Sword-Forms"

(by RR Bursius)

 

This is an alphabetical listing of the Sword forms, followed in each case

by what constitutes each form, how it might be used against one or more

oppponents, and related forms.

 

Original author's note:

QUOTE:

Well, here it is. A listing of all the sword-forms I could find, plus a

description of my belief of how to execute them. Note that some sword-forms have multiple names, e.g. "Moon Rises over the Water." Also, don't take my word for how these are done - every Warder has his own personal style...

 

if you wish to use information from this page, I have absolutely no problem with it: but as a courtesy, if you wish to use the information in a game or other non - webpage related info, I request that you send me an email at yawmin@leland.stanford.edu simply telling me what you're doing with it, so I can see what my humble work is going towards. If you want to use this page or any part of it on a web page, I ask that you just credit me as the author and include a link to my page on yours, preferably close to the data you're using. Thank you very much, and may you all one day find your cabbage.

ENDQUOTE

 

1. Apple Blossoms in the Wind

 

A versatile technique, intended for use against an ambush by multiple

opponents. The blade is held low, but ready for use in a number of

strike forms. Keep loose and move slowly.

 

2. Arc of the Moon

 

A simple slash, meant to take off an opponent's head. Probably begins

at midbody level, arcs to neck, and ends back at a guard stance.

 

3. The Boar Rushes Down the Mountain

 

A vertical slash, but one that can alter course in midswing quickly.

Starts high and ends low. Try this with Tower of Morning.

 

4. Bundling Straw

 

Several quick chest-level thrusts, followed by an arc and a paired

return arc that should return the blade to a guard stance. Try this

against a quarterstaff opponent.

 

5. Cat Crossing the Courtyard

 

Not a sword-form or stance, but a method of movement which

maximizes alertness and reaction potential. Weight should be on

the balls of the feet, with head held high and eyes constantly shifting,

watching for threats. Arms and hands should freely move, not in

pockets or holding items. Each step should be taken confidently, but

not hurriedly.

 

6. The Cat Dances on the Wall

 

A feinting, tentative series of short slashes, thrusts, and parries. The

swordsman must have good wrists and quick feet for this to be

effective. Usefulfor buying time.

 

7. Cat on Hot Sand

 

A faster, less tentative version of The Cat Dances on the Wall. Better

for multiple opponents.

 

8. The Courtier Taps His Fan

 

A quick, powerful overhand blow, meant to split the head. A good

move for anyone to have in his repetoire.

 

9. The Creeper Embraces the Oak

 

A slow, circling stance. The blade goes from high to low and back to

constantly offer a new threat and to guard against others. Forms to

use out of this: The Falling Leaf, Lightning of Three Prongs.

 

10. The Falcon Stoops

 

An abbreviated version of The Kingfisher Takes a Silverback. A quick

overhand thrust, returning to a guard position just as quickly.

 

11. The Falling Leaf

 

A more exaggerated and slower version of The Boar Rushes Down

the Mountain. Starting high, the blade sweeps back and forth before

reaching its lowest point. Can be used to parry effectively against

multiple opponents, or just one. Move from this straight into The

River Undercuts the Bank or The Wind Blows over the Wall, and

you've got an effective pair.

 

12. Folding the Fan

 

The sword sheathing technique. The blade is smoothly swung around

from guard stance and sheathed, all in one motion.

 

13. The Grapevine Twines

 

A circular motion when blades are locked, used to disarm an

opponent.

 

14. The Heron Spreads Its Wings

 

The operational version of Heron Wading in the Rushes. A tighter cut,

concentrated in one sector of the arc of the sword.

 

15. Heron Wading in the Rushes

 

IMPORTANT: This form should only be used for practicing balance. It is

possible to use this form in combat, but it is highly likely you will

receive your opponent's weapon in your chest before you take his

head. A horizontal, pivoting slash done on one foot. Begun at

shoulder or head height.

 

16. Hummingbird Kisses the Honeyrose

 

A quick thrust in the face. Will at least deter an opponent, and will

usually kill a charging opponent outright. Blade should start from

shoulder height, though it may be performed from any level less

quickly.

 

17. The Kingfisher takes a Silverback

 

Begun while the sword is at shoulder height or higher, a downward stab

for the abdomen. Begun when the sword is lower than shoulder

height, a downward stab meant to cripple a leg or the groin. May

also be used to parry a midlevel strike.

 

18. Leopard in the Tree

 

A preliminary form, begun with both hands on the hilt of the sword,

knees bent,and leaning forward in a ready position. This form is used to

prepare for Unfolding the Fan or another such drawing technique.

 

19. Leaf Floating on the Breeze

 

A horizontal guard position with a form similar to The Falling Leaf.

The blade will move up and down according to the threat while moving

horizontally to offer new threats. A good basic form. Attacks from this

position should include Lightning of Three Prongs and Lizard in the

Thornbush.

 

20. Lightning of Three Prongs

 

Beginning from a basic stance like Lion on the Hill, a thrust that can

either continue as a thrust or slash to either side. Can also be used

to parry.

 

21. Lion on the Hill

 

A basic guard stance, with the sword held at shoulder height ready to

move into avariety of other forms. Looks kinda like Crono's basic

battle stance - see a Chrono Trigger page for more info.

 

22. Lizard in the Thornbush

 

Used expressly against two opponents. One thrust to the chest, then

pivot and kneel with either a thrust or a slash, usually a thrust.

Good mid-level technique; most veteran-level soldiers have mastered

this form.

 

23. Low Wind Rising

 

Can be done from almost any stance - even sitting. A diagonal slash,

beginning low and rising cleanly. May be used to return to a guard

stance after a form such as The Grapevine Twines or Lightning of Three

Prongs.

 

24. Moon Rises Over the Water

 

A vertical arc after a horizontal, tentative slash. The blade should

begin and end in the same position - near the waist.

 

25. Parting the Silk

 

A more controlled slash, probably used as a precision block or strike.

Directed at the abdomen, a good move to draw first blood or inflict

nonlethal damage on an opponent.

 

26. Ribbon in the Air

 

A horizontal slash that may change direction up or down at the tail end.

Should be begun just below chest height. Both feet should be used in

this form, unlike the Heron forms.

 

27. The River Undercuts the Bank

 

Can be done from a kneeling or standing position. A horizontal slash,

used to disembowel or behead.

 

28. Sheathing the Sword

 

More of a concept than a sword-form, this is used when what you can

gain is greater than or equal to what you may lose in the process of

gaining it. This might be using Heron Wading in the Rushes like Rand

al'Thor, or it might be using Lizard in the Thornbush to take down

two major opponents when you know a third, less important one is

coming up behind you.

 

29. Stones Falling from the Cliff

 

The medium difficulty version of Boar Rushes Down the Mountain. A

good mainstay of a battle, this form is useful for both parrying and

attacking. The sword should begin at least at shoulder height and come

down.

 

30. Striking the Spark

 

A rapid series of powerful overhand blows, best begun on the return

swing of a slash like Low Wind Rising or The Heron Spreads Its Wings.

If you've got stamina this can win a battle for you.

 

31. The Swallow Rides the Air

 

The guard stance assumed after performing The Swallow Takes Flight.

More of an on-the-run stance, made for attacking or defending while

mobile.

 

32. The Swallow Takes Flight

 

Basically, Low Wind Rising followed by a short thrust. The form is

angled more toward the opponent, though, so that the opening slash

is more a guard for the thrust.

 

33. Thistledown Floats on the Whirlwind

 

A short-range jumping spin-swipe, used for beheading. Best if done

by surprise. An opening move in most cases. The sword should not

move more than a foot or so; the main force is provided by the

spin of the body. The blade should not extend too far out from the

body, and be approximately chest high.

 

34. Tower of Morning

 

A vertical slash, starting low and ending high. I'd pair this one with

Boar Rushes Down the Mountain or The Courtier Taps His Fan.

 

35. Twisting the Wind

 

For use in a tight situation, when one is outnumbered. A quick,

continual rotation of the body, using slashes and short thrusts to

counter or attack as the situation dictates.

 

36. Unfolding the Fan

 

The exact opposite of Folding the Fan. Can be used as an opener, since

this form can unsheathe the sword and stroke at the same time. Can

also be used if caught off guard or in an awkward position.

 

37. Water Flows Downhill

 

A more complicated form of The Boar Rushes Down the Mountain.

This form can and will change direction in midstroke; only the more

advanced swordsmen use this form. Like its name, it takes the easiest

route from high to low, avoiding contact with the other weapon while

seeking its target.

 

38. Whirlwind on the Mountain

 

A form of Thistledown Floats on the Whirlwind, except done while

remaining on the ground. Can be modified for use for striking uphill or

downhill simply by changing the angle of the spin. The sword also is

extended further than with Thistledown Floats on the Whirlwind.

 

39. Wind and Rain

 

Another complicated form. Begun with either Low Wind Rising or

Parting the Silk,this form follows through with multiple short thrusts

or quick overhand blows.

 

40. The Wood Grouse Dances

 

Similar to the Cat Dances on the Wall, but from a more stationary

point. Mainly to feel out an enemy, more than to do serious harm.

 

Mahiro Shukosa's email [mailto: yawmin@leland.stanford.edu]

[Mystica]

 

 

(by Auld Manriva)

 

What’s up with the Red Arms? What have the heathen horde of the hoary hosts of Hogarth been doing? Who have they been haranguing? Whose houses have been hacked down into hulking stacks of hardwood, mortar and stone. Who's hurled epithets, that are hardly heard by hard of hearing RAL's who hobble about unhurriedly humming homilies to no one in particular? Who knows.. certainly not me!

 

I can tell you this though and it's all off the top of my trinket encrusted headscarf wrapped head. The Year '08 started off with lawbreaking the likes of which we had seen many times before. OK, well maybe not... There was a spotfine given to UC Bridmorgan and XO Direwolf Jon the very Second Day of the Year for annoying the RAL without cease, which was so heinous a crime as to never have been witnessed before or since. It garnered a spotfine which was contested in Court and of course since the spotfine-err was the victim an alternate adjudicator was invited to bang the gavel and Judge Kangaroo Jack was nice enough to accept. As his honour Kangaroo Jack can only adjudicate a Kangaroo Court the verdict was never in doubt. Although a spirited but futile defence was raised.

 

There were 3.. count 'em .. 3.. Innocent verdicts awarded in the Year '08. Innocence was determined for Amavia, el' Nyn and not surprisingly for Footman Grim; The Pink Perpetrator, Foo Foo, Footy and Footzee among myriad other aliases. Though my learned brother is an accomplished barrister his self defended case was in opposition to a charge so ludicrous that a Simian could have argued against the 'Persecution and won. The most brilliant courtroom drama of the year HAD to be the defense of Amavia by the brilliant but misguided (she's a former Southern Beauty Queen residing in Angleland) el'Nyn. She argued the case for her client in such a devious and clever manner that a WALL; was nearly brought to trial once the innocent verdict was reached. A truly spectacular example of Band of the Red Hand Blind Justice.

 

The most hilarious spotfine handed out and performed had to be the one given by the brilliant and dedicated Infantry RA Kastchei, who somehow thought to send Footy to "serve concessions in Spectators Row during the opening week of the Bel Tine Festival Games. Proceeds of the sales shall be donated to Nocturne to compensate her for the loss of brew." This fine was of course fiendishly pounced upon by The Pink Perpetrator who had the crowd of spectators at said Festival slobbering on themselves by the end of his performance.

 

Some other noteworthy accomplishments among RA's and Band Criminals were these:

 

Biggest Criminal ~ Sir Froix - 5 Spots (and these in just the first quarter of the year)

 

Most Bestest RA ~ Sam the Shamus, Detective Extraordinaire - 16 spots w/only 2 innocent verdicts... He has about a dozen spots pending...

 

Biggest Criminal among Senior Staff ~ Who else but Direwolf Jon - 3 Spots with two contested.... He lost both cases. Corki and Brid are in hot pursuit of this detestable record though. Taymist retired, it is thought in some quarters, because she was going to surpass Sir Jon to take this scurrilous title.

 

The last quarter of The Year '08 saw relative peace and harmony among Bander's. Mainly because of the sheer laziness of our despicable RAL and his wanton disregard of criminal activity and lack of spirited guidance; meaning, he did not require visits to the Nurses Tent to have his boot extracted from where the sun don't shine from any of his procrastinating troops.

 

We anticipate heavy criminal activity in The Year '09 and our RA's are out and about. IN FACT! One spotfine has already been awarded to the Entire Band of the Red Hand by none other than, must I say it? (you must, you must) my devious and always thinking of the easy way out brother Footman Grim, etc,etc,etc...He of a Thousand Names. He has in less time than it takes to skin a sea slug, got himself hundreds of spotfines to his credit for the year and at last word had retired to a beach next to a dump site in Tanchico...

 

So there you have it dear reader. An Old Year passes and a New Year stands before us. Unfinished and unsullied. So get out there and SULLY Ya Lazy Gits!!

 

 

and Let's Be Careful Out There.

 

 

 

This is likely the last time I'll visit with you all here at DM in the pages of the Hornsounder. For those of you outside The Band of the Red Hand who have actually read our little publication. I thank you and hope I have amused at least one of you. For those of you who have not read us.....

May the Bird of Paradise fly up your nose.

May an Elephant caress you with his toes.

May your sis be blessed with a red and runny nose...

Now it's time for me to leave here I suppose.

 

[Mystica]

 

Welcome,

 

How to get your story in the Hornsounder?

 

Do you have interesting, funny, weird, general stories that you'd like to share but that don't quite fit in any of the other sections?

Then don't hesitate to contact me by pm to present your idea/topic and next month your story could very well be published in Hornsounder.

 

In here you could find:

- the full articles of summarized pieces found in the other Sections

- the loose articles from Banders and Non-Banders that are not assigned to any one Section

- independent and Sectionless projects and coverages

- various undetermined pieces of work from both Banders and Non-Banders

 

The articles and coverages that are posted here can cover any topic, be it about WOT, Band, DM related topics or anything else that might be of interest to share with our readers.

 

Now without further hesitation, I wish you a lot of reading pleasure with this month’s collection of articles.

 

Mystica,

EiC

 

 

Columns

 

Dear Horn

(by Sir Horn)

 

 

Dear Horn,

 

Right, so anyways.. I seem to have This man eating chimp, but he’s gotten into the habit of eating trollocs only, how do I get him back to eating human?

 

Dear Unnamed,

 

Have you considered that perhaps this is a good change? I would urge you to keep your chimp as-is. Maybe it is time for him to move to the Blight where he can live a long and happy life, but if you still think you need to change him back, I won’t try to stop you, even though I think you are as crazy as people who own anacondas and boa constrictors.

 

To get your chimp back to eating man-flesh again, it really takes just two simples steps: starve and decorate! Put him in a secluded area where no trolloc will be near (perhaps a stedding?) and let your chimp go hungry for at least a full day. After doing so, find the fattest and juiciest Seanchan grunt or Shaido warrior you can find, squeeze orange juice all over them to make them more attractive, and then shove them next to your chimp and watch him feast! The combination hunger and the scent of something orange will easily do the trick.

 

 

Dear Horn,

 

I have an itch I can't reach. It's somewhere in between my shoulder blades and happens every time I see or read about the color Orange. It's a real nuisance, as you can imagine.

 

Do you think I have an allergy to Orange? 

And if so, what should I do? There's oranges everywhere!

 

Desperate Me

 

 

Dear Desperate,

 

I though furiously about your problem for minutes on end unsure of what to tell you. You see, Orange is the magical elixir that fixes so many of our problems, so how could the solution be the problem? Then it hit me: you don’t have a pure orange. The color orange you have been seeing has too much yellow, so next time you see it, add a dab of red and it will be pure again. If that doesn’t work, I suggest you grow longer arms so you can reach your shoulder blades.

 

[Mystica]

Poetry

 

An End or A Beginning?

(by Taymist)

 

Days of air and darkness,

Times of exile and war

An Age is slowly ending

Why fight and more, what for?

 

Winds of death and bleakness

Streams of tears and woe

Hope is slowly fading

Will this be the final blow?

 

Men of  faith and boldness

Women of courage and care

The battle still is raging

Can they rally? Do they dare?

 

Tales of light and wonder

Threads of strength and love

Hold memories, now fading

Have to wonder, is it enough?

[Mystica]

 

November Competition Winners

(by Paladin Jon the Direwolf, XO)

 

Welcome to a new year with the Hornsounder! This month we have some excitement happening in the world of the Hornsounder Entertainment competitions!  While it looked like there might not be any competitors this month, at the very last second some great competition arose from three participants in both the JotS competition and the Caption the Pic competition.  The winner of the JotS competition can be found in the first post of the Hornsounder.

 

So, now that the rest of that is out of the way, let us find out our winners of the Caption the Pic competition!!  Coming in first place is one of the major comedians of the Band, let's hear it for Demonspawn!!  For coming in first, Demon will be awarded 2 Org points.  Not a bad pay day for him!

 

Coming in second place this month is our own EiC Mystica!  For locking in one of the top 3 spots, our EiC will be awarded 1 Org point!

 

Coming in a very close third is our newest competitor Kat!!  She too earned herself 1 Org Point for finishing in the top 3.

 

Congrats to all three of our winners this month!!

 

Be sure to check out the games this month though, as we have a new Caption the Pic competition and we also have a new Sudoku competition. 

 

Good luck to all of our players and you just might see your names here next month!

[Mystica]

January Competitions

 

Caption the Picture for January~open to everyone

(by Paladin DJ)

 

Your job is to find a suitable caption to fit with the picture blow. It can be something people in the pic might say, think or a general text that you feel would go great with the picture.

 

Instructions:

- send in your idea to Paladin DJ before 20 February 2009

- only submissions sent in by PM to Paladin DJ will be considered

- only 1 submission per player

 

Winners:

- the 5 best submissions will be chosen by the Hornsounder team in a poll

- the winning submissions will be posted in the next Edition of the Hornsounder

- Banders will earn 1 org point

- medal pin will be bestowed on all winners

 

This month's picture:

 

 

Sudoku for January~open to everyone

(by Paladin DJ)

 

Instructions:

 

Below you find a Sudoku puzzle level 3. Your job is to fill in the missing numbers using numbers from 1 to 9 only.

If you'd like to practice a bit, you can find an easy and a medium level sudoku puzzle in the Games section, a little further in the Hornsounder.

 

--> type the numbers per row in the proper order and send your answer to Direwolfjon in a PM before 20 February 2009.

 

Rules:

 

- each number can only appear once in every row, every column ànd every square

- only answers sent in a PM will be valid, any posting of possible answers on the boards will result in immediate disqualification.

- you are only allowed to send in ONE pm, so make sure you double check your answers before sending them in.

 

Winners:

 

- the first 6 correct submissions will determine the winners

--> these will be split between: 3 Banders and 3 Non-banders if enough participants play. If not, it will simply go to the top 6 players.

- in case of a tie, the date and hour of submission will determine the winner.

- the winners will be announced in a ceremony together with the other competitions on the public board of the Band on DM ànd will be mentioned in the next edition of Hornsounder.

 

Winnings:

 

- For Band members: 3 Game Points + Sudoku pin!

- For Non-Band members: Sudoku pin!

- For all winners: announcement in the next Hornsounder Edition + Public Ceremony & Party at the public Band boards on DM.

 

 

Now get those grey cells cracking!

 

 

[Mystica]

Answers to Last Month's Games

 

Competitions:

 

Caption the Pic

 

The Pic

 

1st Place Caption:  I is sneaky cat. I push Narcissus cat.

 

2nd Place Caption:  Let's see if you can fish as well as you can steal my dinner...

 

3rd Place Caption:  White Cat: Push him in and run, push him in and run......

 

 

 

[Mystica]

Jokes

 

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1920's, 30's 40's, 50's(Bulldog), 60's, 70's and 80's!

(by Demonspawn)

 

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us and lived in houses made of asbestos.

 

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese, raw egg products, loads of bacon and processed meat, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes or cervical cancer.

 

Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

 

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets or shoes, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking!!!

 

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.

 

Riding in the back of a Bakkie on a warm day was always a special treat.

 

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

 

Take away food was limited to fish and chips, no pizza shops, McDonalds, KFC, Steers, Nandos.

 

Even though all the shops closed at 6.00pm and didn't open on the weekends, somehow we didn't starve to death!

 

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

 

We could collect old drink bottles and cash them in at the corner store and buy Chappies, Wilson 's Toffees, Wicks Bubble Gum and some crackers to blow up frogs with.

 

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because......

 

WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!

 

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

 

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K. 

 

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. We built tree houses and cubby houses and played in river beds with matchbox cars.

 

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on DSTV, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms..........WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

 

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no Lawsuits from these accidents.

 

Only girls had pierced ears!

 

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

 

You could only buy Easter Eggs and Hot Cross Buns at Easter time.......no really!

 

We were given pellet guns and catapults for our 10th birthdays!!

 

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!

 

Mum didn't have to go to work to help dad make ends meet!

 

RUGBY and CRICKET had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!! Getting into the team was based on MERIT AND NOT DUE TO BLACKMAIL, THREATS AND GUILT FROM THE PAST....  strange but true!

 

Our teachers used to belt us with big sticks and leather staps and bully's always ruled the playground at school.

 

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

 

They actually sided with the law!

 

Our parents didn't invent stupid names for their kids like "Kiora" and "Blade" and "Ridge" and "Vanilla"

 

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

 

The past 70 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

 

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO

 

DEAL WITH IT ALL!

 

And YOU are one of them!

 

CONGRATULATIONS! 

 

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated our lives for our own good.

 

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

 

PS -The big type is because your eyes are not too good at your age anymore

 

 

The Three Older Ladies

by  (Arrandion)

 

Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."

 

The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

 

The third one responded," Well, I'm glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, then told them "That must be the door, I'll get it!"

 

 

The Movie Goer

by  (Arrandion)

 

A man lay spread out over three seats in the second row of a movie theater.

 

As he lay there breathing heavily, an usher came over and said, "That's very rude of you, sir, taking up three seats. Didn't you learn any manners! Where did you come from?"

 

The man looked up helplessly and said, "The balcony!"

 

 

Lying Politicians

by  (Arrandion)

 

A bus filled with politicians was driving through the countryside one day, on the campaign trail. The bus driver, caught up in the beautiful scenery,loses control and crashes into the ditch. A farmer living nearby hears the horrible crash and rushes out to discover the wreckage. Finding the politicians, he buries them.

 

The next day, the police come to the farm to question the man. "So you buried all the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?"

 

The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how politicians lie."

 

Another Blonde

by  (Moghedian)

 

A blonde walked into a party store and asked the cashier if he had a hanger or something to unlock her car because she locked her keys in the car. He nodded and handed her a hanger. She thanked him and went outside to set to work. A little while later the cashier decided to check on her and saw her working at it and another blonde in the car was saying "a little to the left...no, a little to the right..."

 

Two blondes lock their keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blonde replies, "Keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

[Mystica]

 

Organizations (ORG)

(coordinated by Cairos)

 

 

*THE KIN*

 

Intro to the Kin

(by Mystica, innocent victom of the MoNster)

 

Welcome to the Kin, dear Reader. Before you enter, take off your shoes, loosen your belts and lay off your burdens. For you are about to enter the realm of relaxation, informality, comfort and good ol’ homeliness.

 

More than a theme driven Org, the Kin is a feeling based Org. More particularly, the feeling of coming home after a long day at work. Where you can take off the masks and layers the different societies one belongs to require you to wear. A place where you can be as relaxed as you need to be, aloof as you long to be, silly as you crave to be and active as you hope to be.

 

BUT BEWARE!!

 

For an overpowering evil is gliding through these corridors. An evil that will penetrate your skin and seep through your veins. A timeless, sleepless evil. Patient like the shadows, fostering and sprouting nameless fears. As a blanket of doom, it will cover you, wrap itself around you and consume you. It will cause a chemical reaction and create reactions which defy the laws of physics and sanity. Eating away at the weak willed and taking over all free will, untill all that is left is a shell of your former self. Fully in the grip of this dark MoNster.

 

Under the deviously skilled hands of the Eldest Loraine (U4EA) and her equally deviously deceptive right hand Twinnie (Twinflower), the never ending schemes and plots of total domination sweep over the boards and threads of a Kinster’s life.

 

So beware, for NICE is awake in the Kin.

 

Below is an outline of how this ruthless feen works. Brace yourselves.

 

 

Overview of 2008

(by Twinflower, human vessel of NICE)

 

New Members

I don’t know about y’all, but it seems once somebody becomes a Kinster, it feels like they have always been here! Fact is, they haven’t..they had to join at some point and in 2008 the following joined our family:

Mmeesh; Lewstherin; Esperanza; Sienna; Stefania; Mystica; Bridmorgan; Floating; Climhazzard; Mayliegh; Quisalas; Chiyuki and the newest, our very own resident pirate: Auld Mariva (Manny).

Welcome to all of you!

 

Raisings

*grins* As you all know, points and raisings and such aren’t given a high priority at the Kin! However, everyone does receive points for their involvement in our activities, and from Council member tucking points in their pockets, and for just doing some of the things they do that make the Kin the special place it is! Even though we don’t make them the priority, we do celebrate our Raisings and folks getting their new sashes! The following Raisings happened in 2008:

from Blue to Green Sash:

Sienna, Esperanza, Bridmorgan, Stefania, Bellinoir, Mayliegh, Quisala, Shendare

from Green to Purple:

Sorandha, Calypsa, Alieta, Kell, Nephitess, Mmeesh, Mystica

from Purple to Red:

Tigara; Daruya, Sam, Zarine

 

And, new this year as of February, The Golden Knitting Needle Club! This honor was created by the Council to recognize the Kinsters, that having reached the Red Sash, are still contributing, participating and with their continuing friendship and love have created the family feeling we share! The folks honored this first year were:

Ursuala; Danya, Staff, Jhea, Leanne, Taymist, Jade, Faerilin, Kelly, Daemon, Tigara.

Three of our members even received TWO Golden Needles this year: Ursuala, Jhea and Taymist!

 

Congratulations to all of you, and more than that..THANK YOU! *grins and hugs* Without all the stuff you guys do and for being here to make the Kin what it is!

 

The Year 2008 in Review!

I will try to make this a quick look back at what we did this past year together!

 

Myst here! I managed to get away from the mind controle! But I must hurry, the spies are everywhere. My victory may be short lived, but all little bits help, right?? So here it is, my dearest reader! It ain’t much, but it’s all I could do in such short notice. I managed to reduce the power of the Joly Twin a little, by adjusting the overview to a mere summary. Now I must run! Think of me!! They’re coming! Arghhhhhh………

 

The year started off with a gentle exchange of resolutions which was then used against us all the way up to october! As stress relief, we were given a chance to Smack the Penguin and then tensions were quickly quenched with a discussion on what we would like to do during the year. In the traditional style of the Elder Kin, members were kept quite busy each month, effectively demolishing any thought of escape or uproar, all covered under the cloak of love and friendship!

 

Cupid Exchange, Valentine card swaps, Library Month, Craft Exchange, Poetry Contests, Plant/bulb swaps, Postcard swaps, Happy Mail, Disney Madness, Inter-Org activities with such places as the Ogier and the CoL, bookmark exchanges, Twinnie Sock Day (the ultimate of all evils!), Halloween craziness, NaNoWriMo support teaming, Secret Kinta exchanges, Adopt a Kin, to name but a few of the wicked plans that were implemented.

 

Some poor individuals felt the bite more keenly than others and consequently added to the whole joy joy happy happy evilness by stepping up and organising events or bringing on ideas of their own. Such as poor Taymist with her ‘all things Irish’ quiz.

 

 

 

2009, the MoNster plan

(by Mystica, defying the incarnation of NICE)

 

Not letting the Kinsters recuperate too long from their devious implementations of the plan in 2008, the Joly Twin immediately launches into attack formation for the new year. We stand no chance against this overwhelming power, dear reader. But maybe you can find it in your heart to make a valor attempt to come save us. Just look at what they have in store for us! *wails*

 

A series of exchanges of cookies, candy, cards, bookmarkers, spring stuff, Arts & crafts, holiday themed thingies, well wishes and good fortune!

Interlaced with a myriad of discussions on various topics and themes, followed by a parade of games and contests and challenges on all kinds of evil evil subjects all culminating in the Ever Present Happy Mail extravaganza! Let there be no mistake about it. YOU too will be indoctrinated into the Twinnie Socks Club! You will! You’ll see!

 

January has been kicking off with a bang. Another resolutions thread is already taking over our lives, which will undoubtedly be followed up on by the Elder Twin. Pounding on our poor heads all year to make sure we are suitably supported in our foolish efforts of keeping our resolves. Needles are handed out left and right, arming more and more indoctrinated Kinsters with pokey things and colorfull sashes! Pushing them all up the ranks of the Kin, driving them deeper and deeper into the belly of the MoNser beast!

 

February, oh dear Light! Already the wheels of torture are turning and whirling. Devious actions up ahead with Valentine card exchanges and interactions with the poor souls of the White Tower lay ahead.

 

Dear reader, I …. I ……. I can not anymore. It is too much! Please find us. Think of me, as  you walk freely out there in the basking light of depression and stressfull bliss. Think of me and my siblings, as we are forcefully held back, chained by the MoNsterbeast that is NICE, frozen in place by the evilness of carefree relaxation and friendship. Think of us while you happily frollic around out there in the sesspool of work and bills and school tests and social obligations. And for those few brave souls among you, please find a way to reach us and try to save us. Eventhough that may very well mean you will be pulled in yourself and be corrupted for all times.

 

Take care…… I must…… I must return now. The Mistress is beckoning…… I must return.

 

 

*THE WHITE TOWER*

(by Cairos)

 

Welcome everybody to the White Tower Section. This is the section where you will find things that happened or are happening now in the White Tower. First and foremost, I would like to say Happy New Year to everybody. Secondly, lets welcome back old members that have been away and have returned. Let's welcome them with warm and kind words.

 

~claireducky

~mmeeshal

~Eladari Menaka

 

Congratulations to the following who have been raised:

~Ireond raised to Manshima on January 10th, 2009

~Felinity raised to Accepted on January 10th, 2009

~Liathiana raised to Accepted on January 18th, 2009

Congratulations to Moghedian for becoming a Red Accepted.

 

~The Green Ajah Sibling of the Month for January 2009.

http://forums.dragonmount.com/index.php/topic,38698.0.html

 

The White Tower did a few Org Wide events:

~Christmas Card Exchange

Members of the Org could sign up to send and receive Christmas Card from other members. This was a wonderful exchange done during this Christmas season . Thank you Naeann for organizing this wonderful and great event.

 

~ Holiday Cookie Exchange

Another wonderful exchange that deals with cookies. A fabulous event that also has members send other members cookies.

 

That's all from the White Tower Org. Come join us next month and see what the White Tower has in store for us.

 

 

[Mystica]

*Wolfkin Div*

(by Taymist - DL)

 

Staff contacts:

 

Division Leader (DL) - Taymist

Asistant DL - Andular

Head of the Rangers - Whitewolf/Owen

Head of the Sages - Andular/Miryana

Head of the Trackers - Nynaeve/Winifred

 

 

Life has returned to the Wolfkin Stedding this month as a new year sees renewed activity. Tay finally resolved her computer issues and is back online properly, ready to harass and otherwise pester members into posting! She even managed to post with her own character, Rhya. Quite an achievment lol.

 

Two Sage meetings are taking place as Jehaine and Winterwinds' characters made it to the Stedding safely after their pick ups. Jehaine's Arienna is seeing Aes Sedai behind every pair of golden eyes so progress will surely be eventful!

 

No new members this month but interest has been shown by two current DM members so we hope to be welcoming them to the fold soon.

 

Work is progressing on the DRPSW Wiki where staff are bringing all pertinent information under one roof in an attempt to make things easier for newbies. Hopefully this will streamline the joining process and make life simpler all round.

 

If you think you'd be interested in becoming a part of the Division, check out the website HERE. All current information is held on this site.

 

If you have any queries, you can contact Tay at DMwolfkindiv@gmail.com regarding bios or wolvesinmist@hotmail.co.uk for general questions and just to say hi.

 

So if you'd like to indulge in fantasy and try some role playing within Randland, we hope to hear from you soon. Do feel free to stop by the out of character (OOC) board HERE. You'll be sure to receive a warm welcome.

 

[Mystica]

 

Our WoT reporter has been lost in the vast wilderness of the world out there and we have not heard or received any news to be put in this section this month. Plans are underway to hunt, catch and retrieve what can be salvaged and a decent and thorough update on events will be presented to the Hornsounder Reader in the next edition.

 

We thank you for your patient understanding, your restraint from hurling whatever object is closest to you at our heads and welcome you to come check out next month's edition, in which all will be reveiled.

 

Mystica

Editor in Chief

[Mystica]

 

What exactly IS the Hornsounder?

 

Hornsounder is the Band of the Red Hand's monthly Newspaper. It evolved from a newsletter into a newspaper in March 2007 when Mystica took over as Editor in Chief and started a full restructuring and re-organisation of what once was not much more than a points earning tool.

 

Today, Hornsounder is a full sized newspaper that is run by a whole team of people and covers not only news from the Band but also offers a space to all other groups on Dragonmount to share their news and events with the rest of the community. Although the main focus remains on the Band, of course, it is a nice extra forum for other groups to get in touch with those that have not yet been in touch with them as well as offers their members a certain amount of pride to see their beloved group represented in this newspaper. (we hope... )

 

Hornsounder is open to everyone on DM, regardless of which group they belong to or don't belong to. And this in both ways. Whether you just want to read, play the games or participate in the Competitions, everyone is welcome to join in. The same goes for being actively involved in the Hornsounder as a reporter. Everyone is welcome to participate, write articles, offer a project they would like to run or simply get involved by offering ideas and suggestions to increase the quality of your newspaper.

 

There are some restrictions where positions are concerned, given that Hornsounder IS the Band's newspaper and therefore Banders do get priority on certain aspects. But this does not exclude the possibility of involvement for Non-Banders who wish to be an active part of it.

 

Interested in getting involved? contact Mystica through pm and she'll get back to you asap after assessing your suggestion/idea.

 

How does the Hornsounder work?

 

Hornsounder, like every real newspaper, is divided into Sections and some of those have Subsections.

 

Sections are shown by their individual Graphic Headers.

Subsections are shown in BLUE

 

The Reporter Teams.

Each Section is run by a Section Senior Reporter who is the coordinator of the entire Section, including the subsections. It is their job to make sure all the elements are submitted at the deadline given and meets the required quality standards. Some Subsections are in themselves so big that they too have been assigned a Section Senior Reporter.

 

The different Sections and Subsections are made up of a series of articles that can be made/written by either the SSR's or by other writers: Junior Reporters. They write parts of the Section contents and work closely together with the SSR's. They get to be mentioned as the author of the articles they write/make, and in case of a Bander get the points that go along with it.

 

Next to the Section Reporters we also have Project Reporters.

Senior Project Reporters are those in charge of a large project that almost certainly requires the help of Junior Reporters.

Junior Project Reporters are those in charge of small or medium sized projects and may (or may not) need assistance from Junior Reporters.

Which projects are Senior or Junior level is decided by the Editor in Chief on a case-to-case basis.

 

The Editorial Team is made up by an Editor in Chief, a Senior Editor, a Graphic Editor and Junior Editors. 

 

The Editor in Chief runs the whole newspaper. Creates and motivates the team, monitors progress and overlooks all Sections and everyone involved, gathers all the submissions and glues it all together into one coherent and appealing newspaper. The EiC also guards the quality of the newspaper, assesses new ideas/suggestions, implements new features and follows up on just about everything. The EiC has the final say on everything though should always strive to find the right balance between her team's ideas, the newspaper's needs and the readers' wishes.

 

The Senior Editor is the right hand of the EiC and picks up the reins in case the EiC is unable to perform the function. The SE is there to insure that the newspaper is published on time and with the set quality even if the EiC is indisposed.

 

The Graphic Editor is the left hand of the EiC and is in charge of all the graphical elements of the newspaper. From the Headers to the graphics in the articles, this is all the GE's domain. He/she is the one writers can turn to if they want to liven up their sections or articles with a graphical item.

 

The Junior Editor, are the assistants of the EiC and SE and tackle a variety of preperatory tasks on the editorial aspect of the Hornsounder. To become a JE one needs to be extremely active, willing and eager to work behind the scenes and be available for whatever the EiC and SE may need them for.

 

Hornsounder's Teams

 

Editorial Team

- Editor in Chief (EiC): Mystica

- Senior Editors (SE): Direwolf Jon, Bridmorgan

- Graphic Editor (GE): Demonspawn

- Junior Editor (JE): Mayleigh

 

Senior Section Reporters

- Band of the Red Hand: Mystica

- Band Org Game: TBD

- Music: TBD

- Columns: Mystica

- Banders Real Life: Bridmorgan

- Band Awards: Taymist

- JoTS monthly winner: Direwolf Jon

- Archer Regiment: El Nyn

- Cavalry Regiment: Imperium

- Infantry Regiment: Kara

- Raw Recruits: Direwolf Jon

- Redarms: Red Arm Leader of the Term

- Specials: Mystica

- Entertainment: Direwolf Jon

- Dragonmount: Cairos

- Wheel of Time: Taymist

 

How to be a part of the Hornsounder team.

 

If you would like to try your hand at being a reporter or you have an idea for a project, a game, a competition or you would like to participate in one of the Sections, then here's your chance!

 

Send a PM to Mystica with an outline of your idea or request.

She will assess it and give you an answer as soon as possible.

Note: Hornsounder claims the right to make any adjustments to your ideas that might be necessary to insure the quality and coherency of the newspaper.

[Samuraiflip05]

Excellent as usual.  ;)