[MOVIE] Clone War Review

[Emperor]

This is not a positive review for the film.  Actually, I have yet to read one. 

 

CLONE WARS. Well, of course it's crap, but honestly, I didn't think it was any worse than THE PHANTOM MENACE. In fact, I think it's a tiny bit better than that low point in the STAR WARS franchise. The truth is, I like the possibilities an animated Star Wars tale offers, even if this particular film doesn't deliver on that potential. Instead what we get is a between-Episodes-2-and-3 story that acts as a weak bridge, using voices from actors who are clearly not the original cast, and introducing us to sub-par new characters clearly aimed at a younger audience. What's more disturbing to me is that many of the rules and storylines established in ATTACK OF THE CLONES are totally ignored. When I was a wee lad and first heard the term "Clone Wars," my fertile mind dreamed up just how epic and glorious such wars would appear when/if George Lucas ever chose to tell that story. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine a scenario where all of the characters looked like mannequins with waxy, expressionless faces and a universe where Lucas seems to be borrowing from the older films' mythology for cameos rather than drawing up new and interesting ways of maneuvering them.

 

Part of the problem (as with any prequel) is that we have a fair sense of who lives and dies already, so any character we recognize, we know won't die; any one we don't, probably will. Sure, Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, Palpatine and Padme are all here (none voiced by the film actors). Samuel L. Jackson's Mace Windu, Christopher Lee's Count Dooku and Anthony Daniels' C-3P0 are in this as well, and all three actors bothered to show up to voice the characters, which eases the sting a little, I suppose. What kills me is that none of the new characters (who I hear will be major players in the upcoming animated TV series) are in any way compelling. First there's Anakin's apprentice Ahsoka, who is the equivalent of a teenage girl with all of the requisite sass and none of the hotness. She calls Skywalker "Sky Guy," if that gives you any sense of how clever the film is. On the villain front (Lucas has a history of creating far more interesting villains than heroes) is Ventress, a dark-side warrior who is all huff and no puff. And while I like that we get a little more backstory on the importance of Jabba the Hut to the Star Wars universe, perhaps the two most baffling additions to the cast are that of his infant son (who resembles a fat tadpole and is nicknamed "Stinky" by Ahsoka, who is apparently full of great nicknames) and Jabba's gay transvestite uncle Ziro. Okay, I don't know for sure if he's a transvestite, but it sure looked like he was wearing a whole lot of makeup. And don't get me started on the voice. Everyone in the audience I saw this movie with laughed whenever this character spoke. A critic friend of mine said the voice reminded him of Truman Capote. Now, normally I would think of my own reference for the voice at this point, except Capote is so obviously the vocal reference for Ziro that I'm not even going to bother. Just when Lucas had finally stopped offending Asians and African-Americans with his voice choices in the prequels, he goes and gives us the alien equivalent of a flaming queen.

 

Director Dave Filoni (who helmed a handful of "Avatar: The Last Airbender" episodes) at least keeps things moving in THE CLONE WARS, almost to a fault. Not like the other prequels were big on character development, but we fly through this story so quickly that you hardly have a chance to look at some of the interesting art elements of the film or care that much about any of the new characters (perhaps the series will remedy this to a degree). But the real elements of this film that bothered me were the little things: no title crawl (a terrible opening narration takes its place), no reference to the fact that Anakin and Padme are married (Padme barely registers in this film), no mention of the increasing friction between Anakin and Obi-Wan, and no sense that Anakin is being tempted by the dark side. I realize this film is pulling double duty as a stand-alone film and as a pilot for the TV series, but would a little continuity kill anybody? In the end, THE CLONE WARS is a blip on the summer of 2008, a blip on the STAR WARS saga, and a huge missed opportunity to do something really cool to keep this franchise alive.

[Segurant]

A friend of mine saw this on Monday at an advanced screening.

 

Here is what he said about the movie

 

After viewing an advanced screening of the animated pilot episode of The Clone Wars, I am left with some positive and not so positive impressions of the latest episode of the Star Wars saga. What I found most interesting about the film was the treatment of the Clone Troopers. Living in a perpetuated state of slavery, these meat shields of the Republic serve as the much needed cannon fodder for the war effort. Their very existence and ultimate “courageous” deaths exposes the Star Wars universe to the true psychological horrors of war. Despite the PG rating, the multitude of deaths, while remaining, bloodless bear a high degree of brutality which makes the movie inappropriate for younger viewers.

 

Without sounding like a prude I believe that the sexuality in this film was overdone in the rendition of the female characters. The adolescent (she’s supposed to be 14 years old) Togruta female Padawan, Ahsoka Tano’s style of dress begs the question of whether or not she was trained under the esteemed Jedi Master Larry Flynt before being assigned to Anakin Skywalker. The tube top and booty shorts forced an image of sexuality upon an otherwise innocent character. Clearly geared to the perverted fantasies of adolescent males and the lonely shut-ins that inhabit the world of science fiction fandom, Ahsoka is not the only hyper-sexualized character in the movie. Badass Jedi assassin Asajj Ventress is given new threads that expose her Darth Melons to the galaxy. The portrayal of this otherwise menacing and psychologically disturbed character was lack luster, wooden, and when she played the role of the Key Stone of Cops of the Confederacy, comical. Never did you feel that she was a real threat to the protagonists.

 

One of the real positive notes of this film was the character of Anakin Skywalker. Who went from being the whiney little emo of the prequels to the Jedi Knight we all expected him to be. A legion of Chinese animators and the voice of Matt Lanter were able to synthesize a more convincing human being than Hayden “Jumper Sucked” Christiansen ever was.

 

The music and the action of the film were another strong point. The music ranged from classical to jazz to rock giving the movie a vibrancy and a shot of modernity lacking in the other films. The epic combat and lightsaber sequences had a fluidity to them that made one forget that it was computer generated. Unfortunately this fluidity did not transfer over to close up shots of the characters. While the animation felt like Eastern Orthodox iconography, which possesses elongated features to express otherworldliness, it failed to convey any sense of human emotion in the characters. In this regard it was almost the polar opposite of the Final Fantasy movies which possessed excellent realistic visuals and no cohesive story.

 

The plot of The Cone Wars was that of an adventurous mission focused on a small group of characters that failed to impress upon the viewer the epic scale and true devastation of an intergalactic war. It followed the same formula of episodes IV-VI without the human touch. The dialogue between characters was trite and pedantic (clearly geared towards the young audience it was attempting to appeal to). This pandering to children took the adult themes that are required to tell an effective war story and rendered them inert. Simply put George Lucas did not give me his best war face, and while the movie was entertaining I felt that it was more about selling merchandise than advancing the epic tale of Star Wars.

[Guest Far Dareis Mai]

I'm bitter about this movie...I lost so much money on it before I just decided to take the loss before it got any bigger...my fake money that is...on HSX... :P

[Loreina]

 

This is what I fear they will do to WoT. *cries*

[Vemynal]

Knew it!