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ATC: Should Auld Acquaintance Be Murdered....

Guest Balthamel


Dear Chosen


The New Year is fast approaching and I will be attending a party with a few friends. However some of the people there I less then dislike, so my question is how would you recommend I kills/make disappear these people without any one at the party being suspicious. As well what awesome parties have you been to in your many years of grand experiences and life?

(I bet any party with the Chosen is a great one, but personally I would stay away from the drinks.)


D. Rahien

Rumours are wonderful things, sow them right and you won't have to worry about them even turning up.


~ Graendal



Based on the word misuse, lack of punctuation, and spelling issues, I can’t be bothered to instruct you. You’ll just mess it up.


Die in a fire, you middle school drop out.


This Age has been instrumental in the development and proliferation of the rumor of subliminal messages in music. This theory, while in and of itself a total sham, does have some basis in Ancient Greek music theory. The Greek philosophers postulated that music played in certain modes could affect the moods of people, either positively or negatively.


Bearing this in mind, I recommend a more musical approach. Find music written in either Phrygian or Locrian mode. These two modes, with the most dissonances and minor-sounding tonalities, will possibly drive these undesireables of your's to suicide. I heartily recommend that, for the sake of science, you try this yourself, see how it works.



Dear D


That little private note you slipped me has been burned. And of course I promise not to tell Asmo that you want to hire him to sing exclusively for those nasty people you don't like till their ears bleed.


All my love



The Discreet

Dear D,


The fact that you are bothered by useless peons means you've missed the point of not liking people. I would turn my focus inward, personally. The only true revenge is growing stronger than your foes and ignoring them so they get a front row seat for the carnage you intend to reap upon the world later.


~Dr. Messy



*stands beside Messy and nods*





Were you unaware of the fact that asking questions so close to the holidays leads to them not being answered. I'm popular, I happen to have a busy schedule around this time of year. It is truly a pity that you don't.



Lanfie, dear, locking yourself up in the bathroom for two weeks just because Semi asked if you had gained weight does not really qualify as "having a busy schedule".



... Is that where all my ipecac has been going?


... What? Musicians are supposed to look starved. It's part of the charm. Besides, I never know what my colleagues have put into my coffee. The worst part is, it's usually not poison. I remember Aggy thought my vacuum-sealed 500-dollar-per-pound coffee was the perfect place to store "specimens" from his work at cross-breeding Darkhounds with Trollocs. That bottle was a lifesaver.


I hope you'll pay me back for that, Lanny.



Actually, Asmo dear,


Most musicians worth their salt can afford not to look like skeletons before they are one. The fact that you look gaunt speaks volumes for your lack of musical ability. Thank you for finally admitting it so we can laugh about it for a while.


Charm, indeed.



Dear Amateur,


I think you should convince the host/hostess to make it a themed party-- Murder Mystery! They'll be so busy giggling and trying to find out who the "killer" is, they won't notice that the stiff is REALLY a stiff until it is too late.


Theatre and Thumbscrews,



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