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ATC: Soy un perdedor

Guest Balthamel



Dear Chosen,


As startling as it seems, I could use your advice, even Asmo’s. My friend is kinda trapped in a relationship going nowhere, as she sees it. Yet, she also feels like a part inside of her will break and die if she dumps her boyfriend. She keeps asking me what she should do, and having never been in her shoes before, I really have no idea how to say anything nice. I have used a lot of different things that come into my head; however, most of them just avoid making any serious decisions for her. So basically, she is having a crisis and as her best friend, continues to ask me what to do and for advice. I am running out of nice things to say, and I doubt she will continue to buy the ‘I really don’t want to force my opinions on you’ much longer.


Ready to lose it,




P.S. It is a lot harder than it looks to be supportive of your friend’s relationship, be there when she needs you, CONTASTLY, and say nice things about your best friend’s boyfriend when you don’t care for him at all.


Dear Moose's Girl


Mostly, I don't understand your question - you're joking with us, right? I mean, why would you say nice things about people, even if you did like them?


I'll leave this to Graendal to answer - I hear she does feelings.


As for some practical advice: "she also feels like a part inside of her will break and die if she dumps her boyfriend". That's easy (though what her problem is with that I'm not sure) - she needs to let him down gently instead of abruptly dropping him. That way, nothing will break off and die.


Ever helpful





You need to make it clear to your friend that you aren't the one who should be making this decision for her, which is what her constant requests for advice really are, when you strip the bullhockey away. Tell her that regardless of your opinion or anyone else's opinion about the situation with her boyfriend, that SHE is the one that needs to make the decision. She needs to grow up and put on the big girl pants instead of foisting this problem off on the people around her because she is incapable of acting on her own. Let her know that she needs to make up her mind and get it over with, and no matter what she decides, you will still support her in that decision. And if that doesn't work, hire Lanfear to come steal her boyfriend away. She needs all the male company she can get since Lews Therin ignores her recently.


Giggles and Guillotines,



What is this thing with you pathetic people of this Age allowing your lives to be controlled by your childish feelings? If someone does not live up to what is expected of him, throw him away and be happy about it. Or just kill him, I have heard that some people do not take break ups very well, and might stick around to cause trouble for you. Or what do you say, Lanfie?




This is why I don't let women make decisions, they're inevitably bad. But since you lack the ability to compel your friend mooseygirl you'll have to use a different tact than I would. Namely, stay out of it, women have been making bad decisions in men since the Age of Legends. For instance, Sammael was actually quite popular with the ladies of my day...


I know, hard to believe looking at him now. The best thing you can do is let your friend live her life, and be supportive of her without becoming a crutch. That's the problem with friends, which is why I don't really keep any around. And you can be a friend to her without having to say nice stuff about her boyfriend.


Let me tell you a story. There once was a great man, we'll call him Rahvin. And he supported and worshiped the Great Lord of the Dark. The Great Lord had this bad habit though of picking horrible people to surround himself with. Rahvin, our hero, continued to worship the Great Lord, and support all of his efforts to break the wheel and fill the land with blood and fire. He did take time to note to the Great Lord; however, that Ishamael was a crazed lunatic, and Sammael a simple minded athelete, Demandred an overproud...well, you get the idea.


You and your friend are more than welcome to hear the rest of the story later, we'll make it a bedtime tale.


Chosen for a reason,



"Even Asmo's"? "Even Asmo's"? "Even Asmo's"?!


Lightfool, you will die for that arrogance.


On a more serious note, how does this person know that they're 'in love' with the fool in question? From what I've seen since waking, the word 'love' is thrown around far too much with far too little meaning beyond, "I want to nail you." My advice would be to do some soul searching. Is it really love, or is it a passing fancy complicated by lust? If so, then there's no real firm foundation upon which to build, and you're pretty much doomed to spectacular failure.


Granted, if it is just for the booty, and that's all right with all involved parties, gimme a shout, and I'll provide a mix of tunes that are sure to please.


And, before I forget... *channels a fireball* ... run, Lightfool.




Dear Moosey,


Since you properly addressed the tiny dancer that is Asmo, I will answer your question, rather than focus on how silly people are in this age.


The best way to handle your friend is to let her make her own mistakes. She's going to drive you crazy talking about it. She's going to cry her eyes out when it goes South, because you know it will. The best thing you can do is tell her your opinion, be prepared for her to argue and then refrain from saying "I told you so" when you're proven right. That last part is probably the hardest of the lot. Best of luck there.






That sounds a lot like the story of Satan and Saddam Hussein those modern "Bards" Trey Parker and Matt Stone tell in their "South Park" cycle of tales. Are you practicing copyright infringement again?


Moosey, a word of warning: any "bedtime tale" told by Rahvin will end up with your clothes disappearing along with your free will. He is rather crude in his...seduction methods.


Machetes and Merry-go-Rounds,





What I want to know, is if your friend wants you to control her, why aren't you doing just that? I control people all the time, and they don't like it. If I had people constantly coming to me, asking me to run their lives...well, I wouldn't really be evil, would I? If your friend can't make up her mind, then make it up for her. If she can't match her socks, then take care of that too. If she's chubby, put her on a diet. Really, it's like your second chance at life...only it's happening at the same time. If you aren't sure about a certain food, make her taste it first. Want to see how that nailpolish looks? Make her wear it. Not sure about that dark alley? Well...you get the idea, I presume.


Truly, I do not see why this is such an issue. Find the weakness, and use it to your best advantage. Friendship is overrated anyway.


Not yours,



He has most assuredly NOT been absent. He's just... away. For a bit. But he'll be back!!


As to you, Moosey, tell your friend to dump the loser. She doesn't want him, you don't like him. He needs to get gone. End of story. She can find another one without any problem. Men are easy to get. You just walk past and their tongues hang out... then you take your pick.





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